During the last week of summer before school started, my two sons stumbled on a great idea. My older son, Josh, found a step-by-step YouTube tutorial on how to draw Avengers superheroes and Star Wars and Looney Tunes characters in cool, comic-book style. I’d just bought a fresh spiral notepad of drawing paper for my younger son, Caleb, but Josh didn’t have one.
Since I was busy decluttering the house and didn’t want to do a Target run, I offered Josh my more expensive “real” heavy-weight drawing pad that I’d been saving to learn watercolor painting.
“I’m gonna give you Mom’s real drawing paper, Josh — the good stuff,” I smiled, handing it over. “Go have fun with your brother!”
As I returned to my domestic archeological dig through piles of stuff, I heard a sound that sent me speeding back to the dining table where my sons were drawing. It was the sound of paper being ripped out of their notepads again and again. Both brothers didn’t like how their characters were turning out and were tearing paper out to start over!
“Hey, guys, Yoda and Ironman look so good! Why are you ripping them out?” I asked, a bit concerned that perfectly good paper was being discarded so effortlessly. A little encouragement goes a long way, I figured.
“No, mom. It doesn’t look right. See here? The legs?” They knew exactly how they wanted it to look.
I returned to cleaning up reluctantly. This was, after all, just for fun and it was great they found something to do together. Don’t ruin it by worrying about the paper, I coached myself.
But as I heard page after page being torn out, I couldn’t help myself. At the rate they were going, they were going to run out of paper and expensive paper at that!
I returned, trying to walk in nonchalantly and casually commented, “Oh, you’re using Sharpies . . . Why don’t you guys use pencils first? That way you don’t have to keep starting over.” I started getting nervous, watching the boys starting to rip yet another page out that “didn’t start out good.”
I was informed, “You don’t do this kind of drawing in pencil, Mom.”
I inhaled, about to inform them just how much the paper cost and how they shouldn’t just rip paper out because they didn’t like it. I wanted to tell them not to be so picky, and couldn’t they just be more careful not to waste good paper?
And then, my ah-ha moment dawned on me:
How many times had I been fearful of “wasting paper,” even though God had put an idea or something new on my heart to try, start, enjoy, explore, or learn? How many times had I lectured myself out of being free to just be me, been critical of myself, or felt intimidated by others who might’ve viewed my idea as dumb?
In that moment, I felt Jesus gently place His arms around me as I stood there at the dining table watching the boys. I was no longer the mom, but the little girl God was trying to reach, who grew up providing for herself, who had learned to survive on contentment rather than on lavished joy.
I needed to hear God’s whispers of love again:
Go ahead. Waste “paper” on what I’ve put on your heart, on the things that might bring joy to you and give you pleasure (Psalm 16:11 ESV). What gives you joy is important to me because YOU are important to me. My grace will never be wasted; you can never use up My grace. My kindness will always be your refuge, and your mistakes can never outpace my gentle love for you. My faithfulness to you will never run out, and I have an infinite amount of “paper” for you to play, make mistakes, use, and begin again. I am for you.
Perhaps you have an idea you’ve tried to forget because you feared you didn’t have enough “paper”? God sees. It may not be a pad of paper you need, but God’s unending supply of love and grace will never run out for you.
So, go ahead. Plant new beginnings together with Jesus and give yourself grace. You are His beloved. See Him tenderly folding your hand into His, and rest in the comfort of His gentle presence right next to you as He whispers, Loving you is never wasted. You are my pearl of great price; you are worth loving.
With my heart encouraged, I told my boys, “I’m so happy you guys found something you love! I can’t wait to see what you draw!”
They beamed smiles bright as the sun. “Thanks again for the paper, Mom!” Josh said. “Yeah. Thanks, Mom!” Caleb echoed. They returned to drawing, beginning again.
Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that
we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.
Hebrews 4:16 (CSB)
What is the “paper” you’re afraid of wasting or running out of? Give voice to what you’d love to do and what you need from Jesus. What does God whisper in return?
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God's unending supply of love and grace will never run out for you. -@thebonniegray: Click To Tweet Leave a Comment
Oh wow, hit me in the heart moment. Thank you Bonnie. I am always so fearful of wasting paper but God has never let it run out. In fact he often gives me better paper. Thank you so much
Sweet Anna, thank you for sharing how it touches your heart. It means the world to my heart. Have a beautiful day, friend!
As a girl who loves to hand-letter, this metaphor is PERFECT. Even in my hand-lettering, I sometimes cringe at all the paper I’m “wasting” in practice and creating. No joy is wasted, and His love and mercy never runs out. Glory!!
Dear Alissa, I love how this metaphor speaks so unique to your art of hand-lettering! Happy creating! Keep going creating beautiful friend! You’re worth it!
Bonnie,
In this game called “Life,” I feel like I have used all my “Get Out of Jail Free” cards. My sins aren’t heinous, but sin is sin. I sometimes wonder if His patience and lovingkindness will wear thin? I try to obey, but mess up over and over again. I know the truth – that His grace, like a roaring waterfall, will never run dry, but the enemy can be good at getting in my head and trying to convince me otherwise. I just wrote a post about how I cursed God out, literally, and He responded with such love and tenderness. So thankful I have a God with broad shoulders who can handle my childish temper tantrums. No matter how ugly I can be, at times, He never changes. He always responds in love because He cannot deny Himself. Beautiful post and reminder.
Blessings,
Bev xx
May you feel the beauty of God’s grace each day you write – thanks for sharing, Bev!
Bonnie,
Oh such great wisdom we need to hear more often! Sometimes I feel like I’m running out of time. Time to work & have enough for retirement. God gently & sweetly tells me that what I’m doing by helping aging parents is more important & will reap rewards far greater than just money. One time I was visiting dad in assisted living while he was eating lunch. He was shaking so bad no food could reach his mouth. I offered to feed him. He nodded ok. The man sitting on his right said “You will get starts in your crown for this”. I felt God talking to me right there. The other day my hubby said he was glad I was only working part-time. I can be more available to help him with his parents. Again I felt God reassuring me I was doing His will for me at this time. I use my time by volunteering with Relay (Cancer society) & doing more at church. “God will never run out of love & grace for his children.” Great words needed daily in this world.
Blessings 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing how it speaks to you, Beth! – it inspires me to keep sharing as I hear how the words touch you in your life and story! Just love how the Holy Spirit speaks and grateful we can share our journeys!
Oh Bonnie, you don’t know how much I needed to read this today! Thank you for this encouraging message!
Dear Katherine, your words mean the world, as I hear how these words touched your heart! have a beautiful weekend, friend!
With me, it’s words: the “great” metaphor or the turn of phrase that I think I should really save for the ending as a ribbon to tie the whole thing together. And then I hear the Spirit say, “Squander it here! Trust me for something even better!”
Thanks, Bonnie, for words that always inspire a deep breath and an awareness that there’s enough grace to go around.
Sweet Michele, yes, don’t save your words… He is a River of Life of words within you… let it flow! 🙂
Bonnie, as usual your words of wisdom are so encouraging like hearing a waterfall flow into the deep still waters below is like stirring our hearts with fresh grace flowing from above! The part about you giving Gosh the good and real drawing paper reminded me of how I myself sometimes don’t always give God my best, but my old leftovers. There’s always such good lessons in everyday lives when we look for God’s Grace in every situation, and I know for me I need to be more aware of God’s presence in everything I do and with the grace He gives me to show more mercy and grace toward others…..thank you again Bonnie for your love toward us sisters! Blessings to you and your family!
Love, Connie
thank you, Connie – for being a wonderful “pen pal” sister-in-Christ, sharing how the words touched you – it just inspires me to keep sharing! love, bonnie
Such a beautiful and encouraging message – thank you! I grew up in a house where wasting (using) paper, scotch tape, kleenex, etc. was definitely not okay because the message I got was that the object was more important that me. This really resonates with me as I’ve carried that message into my adult life. I’m gracious with my children but don’t extend that same love to myself to be who I am and rest in God’s love for me. Now that they are all teens, they see how little I value myself and my needs and are thankfully helping me to see myself as God sees me.
It’s so beautiful how you’re aware of how God’s gently loving you and remaking new words to plant in your heart. Your teens also can be blessed as they see you learning to love yourself and tkae care of yourself – as they watch you, they are learnign for themselves! How amazing God is doing this beautiful healing in your life! THank you for sharing, Cheryl! It blesses my heart!
Planting new beginnings with Jesus…I’ve been a homeowner for almost 35 years. On Wednesday the movers come and I’ll be renting. The divorce and sale of our home wasn’t my idea. This post came at just the right time. God does see me and I see his tenderness in the details. He has given me a summer of rest in the comfort of His gentle presence and I’ve heard his whispers in the night. Thank you for your words of encouragement today.
Dear Nancy, thanks for sharing such a vulnerable time in your life in this season of letting go, grieving a marriage and also planting new seeds!! You are worth loving and I am so blessed deeply that the words from my heart have encouraged yours! May you continually feel God’s grace new each step of the way! Have a beautiful day, friend!
Ok—I’m curious—did they ever draw one they were pleased with in the end? lol
I commented but not sure it worked so I’m trying again!
This was the BEST! I have been praying for some big things and was discouraged last week. This encouraged me soooo much!
I am praying for a friend’s salvation and another friend’s heart to change toward some bad habits as well as this friend is in a big transition time in life. I have prayed that the transition time will be a new beginning for him and his heart runs to Jesus and also that’s Jesus would provide new godly friendships.
What a beautiful reminder, friend! So often we live with a view and fear of scarcity. But God’s resources are limitless. I want to live today like His love, grace, patience, wisdom, healing, and joy will never run out!
Ah…you nailed it, Bonnie! I’m afraid of wasting time, trying new jobs, new hobbies. new friends, and new lifestyles.
Bonnie, I love this! I think sometimes I forget that God loves me and takes great joy in seeing me filled with joy! 🙂 I’m a boy mama to three, so I totally get all things Avengers and Star Wars too! LOL. One of my boys is an artist who needs to get it just right… but when he does, he is so happy!
Thank you for your words! So encouraging.
Becky