This is me with my dad. He always wants to take a picture of us looking at each other so people can see that I get my profile — my Italian nose — from him.
But what I really want you to know is that this man, my dad, Sam Elliot doppelgänger, is the one who has loved me unconditionally since I took my first breath.
Many of you know my mom’s addictions got in the way of her being the loving, nurturing mom my daughter-heart needed. What you don’t know is that this man stepped up. He drove me to kindergarten on his motorcycle and pulled red Swedish fish out of my ears when he picked me up. He tucked me in every night as a single dad, making sure to play my music box before leaving. He let me ride my bicycle through his car dealership and sing Madonna songs from the jukebox as customers shopped for cars (it was the 80s!). But his love was deeper than any of these sweet things.
This is the man who came to my rescue when a counselor tried to convince me my mom had sexually abused me. I cried so loudly when she pushed me to take clothes off dolls and make them do things I didn’t want to make them do. He heard my cries, and he ran in, scooped me up, and got me out of there. “I don’t ever want to go back,” I told him, and we never did.
He is the man who held my hand in the hospital as I sat in a sterile room with a needle in my veins awaiting my abortion. I was sixteen and so scared and so lost. I think he was a little lost too, but he stayed with me.
He is as human as the rest of us, but his love is tender and fierce.
When I think of my dad, I think about the great, unfathomable love that God has for us that begins even before we take our first breath, His breath in us. He goes where others won’t go if it’s where we are, and He’ll sit with us in the pit, in the darkness, just being with us. And when we’re ready, when we cry out to Him, He will rescue us, leading us to the Light where there is freedom and grace, comfort and rest.
In a pit right now? Breathe. See, He’s with you. Every breath is a reminder that He is near, so just breathe. Be still and know you have a Father God who loves you in the depths and to the depths.
Every breath is a reminder that He is near, so just breathe. -@sarahmae: Click To Tweet Leave a Comment