I was so proud of myself. Usually, I am running out the door grasping my day by the coat tails, trying to catch up. But this time, I was on time, ready and waiting for the driver to whisk me away to the Charlotte airport. According to my travel itinerary, I would be looking at the Denver mountains by ten a.m. When after twenty minutes of waiting, I had not seen or heard from the driver, my husband rushed me to the airport. And so began the ripple effect of the flight-to-Denver debacle.
I arrived at the airport in time to board the plane only to be told by the ticketing agent, “It’s too late to check your bag for this fight. I will check your bag for the next flight to Denver, but that means you can’t get on your scheduled flight. You must fly with your bag.”
With the click of a few computer keys, he sentenced me to a stand-by list for the next flight, told me it was not likely I’d get on a flight to Denver until ten o’clock that night, and sent me on my way. Confused by this turn of events, and out of breath from rushing to check my bag, I was completely discombobulated. Honestly, I wanted to go back home, climb back in bed, and start over. My husband, for whom airports are his second home, advised me to wait out my stand-by sentence in the Admirals Club where I’d find a little reprieve from the all-day-airport hell.
There, it felt like I was becoming a permanent resident as airplane after airplane took flight to Denver with no room for me. Meanwhile, my checked bag had uneventfully arrived in Denver and was waiting for me to claim it. Now, I know in the larger context of the world’s chaos, feeling abandoned and forgotten in the Charlotte Airport Admirals Club can be classified as an insignificant “first world problem” (punctuated with an eye roll emoji). And even though I rationalized the privilege and cushiness of my issue, I was nonetheless wallowing in disappointment. And when disappointment ushered in the slow burn of anger, my husband phoned me with reinforcement encouragement.
“You can vent for two minutes,” he said. “But that’s it! You can’t go negative when you’re stuck in the airport,” he drilled, “because you won’t recover.” So for two minutes only, I whined about how none of this was my fault. I had done everything right to avoid chaos — even scheduled an early morning flight to avoid the crowds. I wanted to know why I was told to forgo my flight to stay with my checked bag, but my bag was allowed to fly to Denver without me! I felt slighted. I was like a toddler who wanted the world to make sense on her terms, terms based on her limited understanding.
My two-minute venting released the slow burn simmering deep in my chest. Now, I had room to breathe. I took a deep, mindful breath and inhaled truth: I am not in control. And with a deliberate, slow exhale, truth continued: But I am empowered. With renewed breath came a renewed reality:
Although I did not choose my circumstance, I could choose to thrive in it.
My husband and I have taught our children that if they are lost or in trouble to ask another mom for help. Likewise, I needed to find a “mom” who would see me as a child in need of rescue. I had to find a “mom” who would hear the nonsense of my story and be empathetic. I knew it would take a motherly someone to make room for me. So, I scanned the faces of each uniformed representative seated behind a computer, searching for a nurturer whose eyes were filled with compassion. My heart landed on José! In his eyes, I saw the warmth of empathy and justice. He confirmed that the ticketing agent had made a mistake and that I should have remained on my original scheduled flight. He then overrode the system to make room for me on the next flight to Denver.
Finally, when time came to board the flight, José phoned me to make sure I was at the gate ready to board. That’s such a mom move!
I know that being condemned to the Admirals Club for twelve hours pales in comparison to Hagar and Ishmael, who when banished to the desert, lay dying, believing that God had abandoned and forgotten them. Fortunately, regardless of the size of our trouble, God cares. We are nurtured by a God who sees us, hears us, and helps us through husbands, moms, and José’s. And when we choose to rest in the reality of a caring God, we can be empowered in the midst of our uncontrollable circumstances.
Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” Genesis 16:13 (NLT)
When we choose to rest in the reality of a caring God, we can be empowered in the midst of our uncontrollable circumstances. -Lucretia Berry (@brownicity): Click To Tweet Leave a Comment
Lucretia,
Hooray for Jose!! I also love your husband’s good advice about “not going ‘negative’ in the airport” lol. Having been there and done that…it IS a futile move. Getting your panties in a wad doesn’t help anything – I know! So thankful that we can call on the name of Jesus whether our problem is 1st world or 3rd world; He still cares. At the audible name of Jesus, the enemy has to flee (along with his disparaging lies) and so I have learned to call on His name. I find when I do, my problem doesn’t go away, but I can breathe deeper breaths, calm my anxious heart, be open to what He might have me learn in my waiting, and be open to His redeeming and delivering. He sends help and hope in all sorts of shapes and sizes…even “moms” named Jose. No, we are not in control even when we think we are, but thankfully we have a God who is never out of control. Loved this 😉
Blessings,
Bev xx
Hi Bev!
Reading your reply was like getting a real life ‘high five!’ I greatly appreciate your relate-ability. And now when something like this happens again — and we know it will — I’m going to heed your words: “Getting your panties in a wad doesn’t help anything.” Amen!
LOL
Thanks so much
LCB
Love this post! “I am not in control, but I am empowered.” I will remember that! Thank you.
Michelle, you’re welcome!
Thank you for reading.
Shalom
LCB
thankyou for your message today. I have too been in situations that are out of my control and are beyond frustrating. I understand about looking about for the mom figure ; sometimes I got one other times God made me walk thru my trial alone and it was not comfortable but in the end I knew I was more strengthened. that seems how it goes..either God helps us with someone in our path or we must walk it alone.
praise be to God for your angel at the counter. ( they walk amongst us ).
encouraging story to know other gals go threw the same stuff.
Krissy.
Yes, I agree that it is good to know that I am not the only one looking for ‘help’ on a daily basis…lol. Thank you so much for reading and sharing encouraging words.
Shalom
LCB
I just loved your post. It was awesome and right on time. I’ve had several major household disasters that turned out to be rather costly to repair. We need to turn to God for our answers. It is so easy for me to wallow in self pity. But today, I rise.
I thank Jesus.
Thank you again for such an amazing post! I needed to read this today. ☺️
Hi Dee,
I understand about the household repairs. If we let them, repairs and maintenance can make us feel like we are under attack. And yes, we can be in a state of gratitude for our homes, but still be a little anxious about all that is required to keep the roof over our heads. I am happy to know that my story could help you feel a little better in some way.
Shalom to you and your house.
LCB
Thank you so much for this!!! I relate to this so much not only with living in airports lol, but I do have a bad habit of thinking negatively and forgetting that God see’s me. I also forget to turn to Him. When there is a chaos around me, I need to remember that God will keep me grounded in the midst of the chaos and will see me through.
Megan.
Thank you for reading. I am happy to know that my story is helpful in some way!
Travel well.
Shalom
LCB
I feel your heart in all this! It seems that airports can truly be a test for us! Thankful for you that you found your way and God blessed you with a “Jose”! We have so many “opportunities” to go negative! And they are not 3rd world issues! I seem to be battling that this morning – so this was a timely reading. For me – it’s the pressing in of work responsibilities that has crowded my heart so that there does not seem to be any more room available for “feeling” the blessing of my 22nd wedding anniversary – – and where is my energy to prepare for a birthday party for myself – oh – and what do i wear?! Trusting for God to see me/ hear me and my heart will change and I will have room for celebrations that matter – and i will find something to wear! 🙂 God bless you for sharing your life with us. XO
Hi Karen!
Happy Anniversary and Happy Birthday!!!
Thank you for sharing how you can relate. Yes, our opportunities to go negative give us space to press in to the reality that we are blessed — blessed to travel, to love our spouses, to have lasting marriages, to have the freedom to choose what to wear. 🙂
Thank you so much for reading.
Shalom
LCB
Thank you so much for reminding me that being out of control can be a good thing. I’m actually going to Kenya next week on a 17-day missions trip, so this was super timely for me and caught my eye — especially since we’re leaving from the Charlotte airport!
Hi Emily!
I pray for your safe and merciful travels. I pray you have favor with all of your travel hosts.
Enjoy Kenya.
Thank you for reading.
Shalom
LCB
Lucretia,
Life is full of trials & uncontrollable circumstances. We will all face them at one time or another. Some are small & no big deal while others come crashing in on us. Like Bev said it is no good getting our panties in a wad. Sure we can fret & fume over it or we can rest in the assurance that God is in control. I’ve found that getting upset & “losing it” does nothing for you except raise the heart rate. It won’t change the situation. We just need to stop breathe deeply, & assess the situation. Look around for a “mom” figure who can give us the help or guidance we need. I have some good church friends who have “been there” for me in my troubles when life feels like it is spinning out of control. I could call or text them & know they had my back. Never once did I panic in those times. I may have gotten upset & fretted some, but later just called on Jesus & my people. They all got me through those rough times. In times of trials & troubles we must remember there is a God in Heaven who cares for you. Just call on His name & He will be there to help & guide you.
Blessings 🙂
Beth,
YES!!! Having friends who know the love and assurance of Jesus is a blessing! We are fortunate to know and access His name! Amen!
Thank you for reading!
Shalom
LCB
Friend! You know how sorry I am for your crazy airport debacle, but after reading this post, I am also grateful for it because I’m going to hang on to this for a long time: “I am not in control … But I am empowered.” Yes! Thank you for sharing the heart lesson God wrote in you through undesirable circumstances. xx
Becky, I had so much fun writing this. And if you recall, the flight back home with my 3 girls was another extended travel day due to cancelations, rerouting, and stormy weather. But we chose to thrive in it and made it a fun day.
Thank you for reading!
Shalom
LCB
I really really needed this today. Thank you so much for helping me to remember that God sees me.
Renae,
You are welcome! I’m happy to know this spoke to you.
Thank you for reading!
Shalom
LCB