About the Author

Becky loves serving as (in)courage’s Community Manager. She is a speaker and author of No Better Mom for the Job. Becky is a huge fan of Voxer, Sunday naps, and championing women. She lives near Los Angeles and loves hiking shady trails with her husband and three spirited sons.

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  1. Becky,
    I suppose I am here to confirm your hunch. Yes, I believe that God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit show up in a huge way when, through suffering, we come to the end of ourselves. I was brought up on self-sufficiency and, like most people, had my fair share of pride. Then life leveled the playing field. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, experienced infertility, collided with cancer, was abandoned by my husband, lost my job, lost loved ones, survived a long series of major surgeries, felt the pain of prodigal children…all that was missing was the plague of locusts 😉 I know it sounds sort of “Job-esque”, but it wasn’t until facing all of these experiences, did I finally, and repeatedly, wave the white flag of surrender and was ushered into the wondrous grace, mercy, love, and power of God. I have experienced, first hand and repeatedly, that God is MORE than enough, is ALWAYS faithful, and will see me through every valley. He has never forsaken me and as long as I keep breathing, He gives me hope and blessings. Awesome question to ponder…terrific post!
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

    • GOD bless you Bev. Amazing &powerful testimony.Thank you for sharing.God is good.

    • Bev, your story aches my heart yet lifts my Spirit. We need your testimony. Thank you for testifying to the truth that our hope is a Person who cannot be shaken no matter our circumstances. Much love to you as you continue to cling to Him and profess His goodness. xx.

  2. Inspiring words especially for all of us women who tend to try so hard to fix and be all of everyone! God wants us to rest in Him, doesn’t He? Let go and not try so hard, surrendering to His promises to restore and redeem.

  3. Whenever I read Paul’s writing with all his shipwrecks and floggings and long dark nights in Roman jails, I realize that he came to God desperate, and I really resist that myself. It’s much easier to live a half-life with small goals and lukewarm wantings and to pray prescriptive prayers instructing God as to what the next step for “us” should be.
    I’m learning, though. And the big lesson is exactly what you’ve shared today: God moves into big spaces in a big way, and the challenge for me is to leave that space and not fill it up with other lesser things.

    • “It’s much easier to live a half-life with small goals and lukewarm wantings and to pray prescriptive prayers instructing God as to what the next step for “us” should be.”

      That’s gonna perk, Michele, like . . . forever.

      Thanks for sharing,

      J. 🙂

    • “the challenge for me is to leave that space and not fill it up with other lesser things.” Oh Michele, yes, this. So good. Me too.

  4. My life has been an avalanche of trials recently. I finally feel that I am able to release everything to God and his will for my life. It’s really challenging as some of the issues deal with the practicalities of life (like having a roof over my and my daughter’s heads). However, I have an underlying peace that God is using this challenge to help me in another area.

    • Elizabeth,
      I’m so sorry for the trails, but praising God for the gift of that underlying peace. My your big needs be met by His big provision. xx

  5. Excellent teaching as always. Thank you for it. Yes we are breathing. We have alot too thank God for. Even when we are going through so much. We wonder where God is. Why is this happening too me. Even if health need money need a marriage need. Or do with loosing someone else or a child. No matter what it is. God is there. We might not see him at work at this difficult time in our lives. But we have to know we are still breathing he gave us that breath we are breathing and every day we live is the day the Lord made. We might not feel it is. As his word says This is the day the Lord has made lets us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118 verse 24. It can be hard. Like the kids song says Our God Is A Great Big God. Yes he is you get the song on Youtube. So he is. He made the Heaven and the earth he made Me and You. He Loves Me and You. We will all have hard times. The Devil will want us to woll in then think things will never get better. I was there with problems in the past. I had to cry on to God and still do at times and have too trust the Promises in his word the Bible plus prayer. Say God where are you I need you at this time in my life. He has helped me. Maybe not right away. I might have had to wight. That reason being because God was putting me through a test to see how strong my faith was in him. To see if I was really standing on the promises in his word. Then he came up tops. Which God does. His promises are always true. I am thank full I am still breathing and God has given me another day to live in his beautiful world no matter what I am going through. Love Dawn xxx So never give up God is there for you. He Love you.

  6. Thank you so much both of you, Becky & Bev. I need this today! My ex husband, Scott, is leaving today to go to a place that I thought was special for us with the woman he left me for, 12 years ago. He had broken up with her about 4 years ago, accepted Jesus as his Savior & now is back with this woman. My daughter, 15, told my ex she didn’t want him to be with this woman and if he does, my daughter will not go see him anymore. My son, 12, does not see anything wrong with the situation, because that is all he has know . Please pray this trip is miserable for my ex & will bring him to repentance and ask for forgiveness. That he will surrender, to Gods will & stop feeding his flesh. Please pray for my daughter to forgive her dad, she needs him & she has lost so much respect for him. Please pray for my son, to recognize the wrong and not to follow in his fathers footsteps. Pray for me to be comforted by God, & receive healing, that a God would be my all in all. Lord we need you so badly to bring good out of a terrible situation!!
    Thank you,
    Dawn

    • Will pray. Been in there in with something simular. It not nice. Dawn I will pray for you and your Family. God knows what you are going through. He Loves you he will help you and your kids. But I am where I am because of God. I forgiven my Dad. My Dad is not saved. Things like this the Devil uses to brake familys up we have to pray. Not let him. Pray for forgiveness no matter how hard it is. Your kids have to do the same. You as there Mum have to learn to forgive their Dad. I know it hard but Jesus would want you too. Eph 4 verse 32 says too. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xxx

    • God always brings us healing. stay focused on him and care deeply for your children in this time. I was there once too with a child & ex . trials do fade..i can honestly say this after 20 years since my divorce and that trial then. healing comes and we breathe and move forward. throw out any resentment and focus on the good things. I’m praying for you and your children.

    • Dawn,

      I will pray for God to help release the grip this woman has on your husband. Also for a changed heart. Asking for a change of heart for both children. May they see the error of your husband’s ways & forgive him as Christ forgave them. Praying for strength & courage for you as you fight this battle. You & God will win!! 🙂

  7. Becky, what a great post! I So true…2 Corinthians 12:9: And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”

    Regarding “need Him big=see Him big” I pray this Prayer of Jabez: “Lord Jesus, bless us indeed. Do something so BIG in our lives that it would be obvious it is from You. Increase our influence and opportunities to make a difference for You. Give us a continual awareness of Your Presence and direction as we make decisions. Protect us and keep us from falling into satan’s evil traps. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

    • Love, love, love the prayer of Jabez! It has strengthened me as nothing else…I pray this prayer over my grandson-it’s never too early!!

      Through this prayer I have truly had desires of my heart met-things that only God could do for me.

      Yes, God, bless us INDEED!!

  8. Becky, so true! God showed up many many MANY times in my life. One big recent time is this Masters in Peace and Conflict Studies, He provided funding, a job, scholarships, a placement in Cambodia, funding again, for my husband to be ok with me going, with my mother in law to look after my kids. People call it serendipity but I know 100 % fact it was all God. I know it in my bones, my soul.

    Where I need Him know is exactly admitting I need Him. Getting over my doubt and worthiness and asking Him to help me write this report. And for God to please lead my little boy to Jesus and for some answers to what his health issues are since Christmas yet every test turns up normal? Next it’s an ultrasound on Thursday…

    I love God, I’m not the best follower of Christ but I need Him completely x

    • I love your last sentence (I don’t feel so alone 🙂 ) and your heart that shows through your comments ♥

    • Jas,

      Been praying for the trip, finances, job & the thesis. God & you have this. You’ve come this far you can get it done. I will continue to lift you up in prayer.

    • Jas, so encouraged by your comment! Thank you for shining a spotlight on God’s clear fingerprints in your life. May you continue to see Him big!

  9. Wow , Becky! What a great truth! I think , fir me, I know this but I still continue to work and try to do most all myself. Although, I know that God is in the background working, I want to brag him to the front, I want to see him and watch his greatness in my life.

    I can’t imagine a life without God, I live with several life altering illnesses and have for years, but as long as I’m still breathing, hope is enough. What great stories you’ve shared, definitely was God!

    I’ve been “ gone” a few times while at the hospital and God brought me a kid, he was not done with me and has great plans for me.

    Bev, you’re one amazing woman as well, I enjoy reading your comments when I’m reading and commenting myself. You’ve been through so much and like yourself, I need to remember at times , just to “ wave the white flag “ and really give it all to God.

    Thanks to you both for such encouragement and hope to start my new day! Every morning before I get out of bed, I thank God for another day, it could always be my last day here on earth. Hugs …

  10. Wise words. We need to step aside and invite Him in. That’s all.

    Love from
    Irene B

  11. Becky this is beautiful and so so true. Through my own journey I’ve seen that his power is directly proportional to our need and expectation. I really believe that when we don’t acknowledge our need for him we put up barriers and sign posts that say “I’ve got this. No help required.” “Keep out! Control freak at work!!” God’s too much of a gentleman to barge on in!!

  12. This article touched my heart today.
    There’s one thing in my life that I’m struggling with and is beyond my control. This morning I’m thanking God because He is using it to grow my Faith and draw me towards Him.
    As I think about it, it seems there has always been at least one thing that is doing that in my life. Painful, frustrating, difficult journeys that God uses me to show me how helpless I am and how powerful and merciful He is.

  13. my story..was infertile after my 2nd child for no reason. wanted more children…waited prayed..begged..cried. the Dr told us there was no hope. I begged God and nothing but then as I was silent after sending my requests almost a year and a half later we were surprised ! pregnancy against all impossibilities…..God answered when we acknowledged him and waited on his decision / not forcing him . our child’s name : Jesse ( means God exists ).

  14. I think it was April but time has sort of been a blur for awhile, my husband came to and said we need to end our marriage it will be better for both of. No major incident, just years of “things” that we both couldn’t pretend weren’t there and as much as I didn’t believe in divorce, I knew he was right and I also knew this is something I had already thought about and somewhere in my mind knew was probably are destiny. Deep down, I knew that we hadn’t actually been husband and wife to each other for such a long time already but even so my heart broke as I heard his words and felt my own tears. Then the call to my sister when I laid my head against our sliding glass door and sobbed uncontrollably and tried to tell her between sobs what was happening, feeling like my life had ended. My pain during that phone conversation was terrific in the way that something so awful can be so deeply, deeply painful beyond but my life didn’t stop that day because God is more terrific than the worst possible pain and while I cried to my sister, I also cried out to God with all of pain, hurt, confusion, heartbreak, what ifs, and so on and He was there. Even when I didn’t want to be there He was there and He’s still here now and one proof of that is that I am moving forward and not curled up in bed! I’m still afraid but God is giving me courage to move to another state, to apply for jobs, to wrap my head around the fact that my husband will no longer be my husband that after knowing each other for about 20 years and living under the same roof for 12 that I will be living without him and in my own space with only our cat and in a different state. I could not do this without God and I would not want to! A breathe of fresh hope you ask? I would love a job offer as quickly as God wants me to have one because I’m ready for my next adventure!

  15. Thank you for your post and all the encouraging comments. “People ask, “Where is God?” and here’s what I’m coming to believe more than ever: He is in our need. He’s in our lack. He’s present and powerful when we’re ready to admit how desperate we are without Him.” I have cried out so many times and He comes in in such a mighty way. Word fail me and my vocabulary cannot describe the wonder and awesomeness of God, of which I am so very grateful.

  16. Indeed, God shows favor to the humble (James 4:6). To admit how desperate we are without him most definitely opens the door to his Big-Time favor. With you I want to be a woman who lives out of her great need for God so His greatness can be seen through my life. Thank you for your wise, hope-filled words, Becky! P.S. I’m so glad younger women are reading Corrie’s book, The Hiding Place. It continues to impact my life, decades after reading it myself, because her story is so profound. Any “suffering” I have faced pales in comparison to hers and so many others, during the Nazi regime. Then I think of Christians around the world today who suffer terrible persecution for their faith…How dare I complain?

  17. Becky,

    I’ve come to realize that God allows trials & tribulations in our lives to bring us closer to Himself. It’s so easy to go through life on autopilot. Praising God on Sunday & literally forgetting about Him during the week. Every now & then something will crop up & we will run to Him for help. This world clamors for self-sufficiency. God’s economy is totally opposite. He says do it in my strength & power. I have seen Him work numerous times. During mom’s time of dementia & being bedridden my dad would read the Bible. He got baptized (dunked) for the first time at 83. God redeemed that time. He healed my dad from geriatric psych for a while & gave us about a year to enjoy together. I quickly got a part time job close to home while dad was alive. He allowed me to earn a little money to help out. Almost 2 years after dad died I lost that job. With my trust & knowledge of God I was actually relieved. I knew in my soul God had something better in store. Sure enough I make more money & work fewer hours per week. It is a much harder job. I keep telling myself God wouldn’t give you the job if He wouldn’t equip me for the job. With my new found freedom I cook for my in laws & help them out. We need to quit striving & working hard in our own strength & allow God to work in & through us to accomplish ALL He has planned for us.

    Blessings 🙂

  18. “If I’m honest, I often don’t want to need God. In my flesh, I want to be competent and self-sufficient.”
    These words spoke so very true to me today. I have always thought my strength and independence were my greatest attributes, but in the last 3 months I have started to realize they have been a hindrance in my walk with the Lord. In these past few months I have gone through inexplicable illnesses one after another with very little relief. I’m still searching for answers for doctors, but this ordeal has most certainly caused me to draw closer to God and get over some big doubts that had crept into my soul. This period of great weakness has left eager to turn to God for strength and not rely on my own.

  19. Becky, your post touches my heart this morning. My relationship with my father was complicated the past 4 years since my Mom passed away. His choosing, not mine. I had resumed speaking with him about a year ago. On Memorial day he was admitted to a hospital up north and quickly went down hill. I am disabled with RSD and could not just fly to be there. Also, the stress of situation, ignited a pain flare up. I felt guilty that I couldn’t be there with him. But I had a couple nurses that understood the situation an would hold the phone to his ear so he could talk. I had a nudge by the Holy Spirit to call him one day since hospice would be starting medicine soon that would make him sleep most of the time. I was able to have a conversation, well I babbled about memories of my childhood with him and my Mom. He did respond and was lucid. The following day I had another nudge to call, the nurse said he was resting comfortably , but his vital signs were good. He wouldn’t probably pass away until overnight. I asked to have phone to his ear. The nurse obliged and also held his hand for me. I spoke alittle about who he would see in heaven. Then I said that I forgave him(I truly meant it) and loved him. The nurse cried out, that he just passed after I said those words. She was shocked it happened when it did. The Lord gave me a gift. My worst fear was that he would die alone,( even though I knew Jesus would be with him, I hoped a person could be with him). My family was also around me, so when I collapsed in grief they were there for me. I like to think that my Dad waited for that timing to show me I did matter to him and he did love me, even if his actions did not always align with that. Thank you for this inspiring post. <3

    • Oh, Kathleen. So much joy and sorrow. Truly God is with us in it all. I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away eight years ago and our relationship was complicated too. I’m so grateful that God gave you the gift of that final connection with him. He is good! Much love to you. xx