The first time I washed my mother’s feet, my feet were cold, too. We weren’t a touchy family. Not much hugging. Never any kissing. Then as she aged, she also grew, to be honest, a bit grouchy. So, I grew grouchy in return. Our relationship strained. Two imperfect people struggling to stay connected – that was us. Finally, I prayed. Help me to love my mother — love her better, love her right. Then God answered. Wash her feet.
But what did that mean — and would it make the difference?
I ponder that question today – on this Maundy Thursday – because it’s foot-washing day in God’s church. Maundy is that odd word springing from the Latin, mandatum, which means commandment. Thus, Jesus’s command, spoken at the Last Supper, puts context on His humble washing — as perfect God — of His imperfect disciples’ feet. As He told them:
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
Yet He knew this command would be hard. I barely could drive to a Walgreens to pick out a footbath for my mother without doubting my errand. Instead, I fussed over my struggle – worrying I couldn’t love my mother right because I’d failed in the past, not just with her, but in so many other ways in life.
Then Jesus stepped in — thank God He does. So, with Him, I made it to the drugstore and picked out the footbath and Epsom salts. Placing them in a cart by faith, I saw a little light turn on. It was Jesus’ reminder that I already loved my mother; I’d just forgotten why.
I loved her not because she was warm and touching and knowing with me. Most times, she wasn’t. But I loved her, first, because she taught me of Jesus, and His love covers every human failing, including my own.
But Mama did even more. She took the streetcar every day with her widowed mother to a fancy house on the other side of town, and she scrubbed floors. She polished sinks and chopped vegetables and washed and starched and ironed other people’s clothes.
Then she took her earnings from the cooking and serving and washing and ironing, and she went to college. She forged a life that led her to my Dad. Then the two of them, working day and night, granted me a lifetime of relative comfort, even before I appreciated it. Yet I reaped the benefits.
I took the piano lessons and kids’ cooking classes and enjoyed birthday parties with gifts and cake and balloons. As a girl, I slept in the new brick house – in my own bedroom – after she and Daddy fought for our right to move into the Denver suburb that tried to keep our family out. I took summer vacations to Disneyland and Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon and the Atlantic Ocean, snapping photos with my own Instamatic, dressed in brand-new summer pedal pushers and tops, bought by Mama on layaway, announcing to the world that I was treasured in the eyes of my hard-working parents.
Then to balance it all, she taught me life’s best basics: how to write thank-you notes and dress a table and greet passing strangers and hug necks and take food to funerals and iron clean sheets for a great night’s rest.
So, I loved Mama. It’s that simple. I knew she loved me, too, even if it wasn’t her style to say it.
Therefore, many years later, I followed Jesus and went to Walgreens. That evening, I kneeled at my mother’s feet, easing her weary legs into the warm water. She closed her eyes, sighing.
Then imperfect me washed her amazing feet. For an old person’s feet, Mama’s were kind of cute, in fact. She got regular pedicures and, at age eighty-eight, wore frosted orange toenail polish.
“I love that color, Grandma,” my daughter told her that day. Mama grinned. Then Mama lifted her legs, pointed her feet, and wiggled her toes, showing off her orange polish, and we all laughed together.
And that’s how to love, Jesus said. Love with action, knowing it first looks like this: a bloodstained cross.
So, Jesus knew about foot-washing. To do it right, you have to go down to the floor, to kneel there. You go low. Then looking up, from the grungy sadness of the other person’s aching feet, what do you see?
You see gratitude. You see trust. You’re also humbled. Then when we obey His command, our foot-washing shows Who we all need most in an imperfect world: our perfect soul-washing God.
Love with action, knowing it first looks like this: a bloodstained cross. -@PatriciaRaybon : Click To Tweet Leave a Comment
Patricia,
What a beautiful illustration of showing the love of Jesus even when our heart may not initially be into doing that. Jesus knows, all too well, that we need to humble ourselves. The Bible speaks often of God loving a humble and contrite heart. My father was not a warm fuzzy person either. I knew that I wanted to be loved with words….specifically him saying, “I love you.” This didn’t happen, but like you, over time God showed me that my dad spoke love to me in HIS language which was putting a roof over my head, food on the table, clothes on my back, a college education, and never having to fear that I would be without the comforts of a home. He was faithful to my mother and would pick me up after late night working shifts. This was his love language. When Jesus washed the disciples’ feet, He didn’t pour on a bunch of words, He just humbled Himself in an act of service…one that would precede His ultimate act of service and sacrifice on the cross. He did it all for imperfect sinners like me. If I could take back time, I would have washed my father’s feet. Awesome post!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Bev,
Your memory of your beloved Dad speaks volumes to my soul. You’re so right. Our parents weren’t perfect. (Nor are we as parents!) Yet, many of them loved us in the best way they knew how. You say it so beautifully — that your dad spoke love to you in HIS language. That roof over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, schooling, comforts, safety. All priceless. Thank you, Bev, my washing our community’s feet this morning my sharing your story, too. May God bless us all to follow His example — sharing our humble love so others will know Him. Glory to His Name — and have a blessed Easter! Warmest thanks and much love today, Patricia
Patricia,
I have a very similar relationship with my Mother who is 86 and has Alzheimer’s. Your words beautifully spoke to my heart as I struggle to show warmth and love to a Mother who rarely showed it to me. I am so thankful that the Lord spoke to me through your eloquent words!
Celia, blessings today — and blessings on your journey with your precious mother. I can so relate to your situation. The Lord’s mandate to love really hits home in our seasons of caring for “imperfect” loved ones — especially when we’re imperfect, too. May God lead and guide your every step, word, and gesture offered to your mother. May your mother somehow know and feel your love. And may God assure you that He sees your service and is well pleased! Sending friendship and love to you today, Patricia
Celia,
My situation is almost identical. I am an only child, but have always joked that I wasn’t my mother’s favorite. Now that she’s 93 and living with mid-stage Alzheimer’s I provide daily care for her in spite of my history of trying unsuccessfully to earn her love and approval. This post spoke volumes to me, and I am grateful for the reminder that it really isn’t about whether she loves me or how much. It’s about how much Jesus loves me and my desire that my life reflect that love.
Amen, Texas Aggie Mom! Amen, indeed!
Texas Aggie Mom,
Praying for God to send the strength you need daily!! Caring for elderly parents is never easy. Many days you want to quit, but can’t. May God carry you through this season. You will be rewarded greatly for these actions of love.
((((((Hugs))))))
Celia,
I have been in that season for a while. It’s hard to love someone like that. We know as Christians that we are mandated to show our love to them any way we can. Praying for you as you struggle to care for mom. May God give you the strength you need daily to carry on. God sees our actions & will reward you for all your hard work.
(((((Hugs))))))
I’m in that season and this is what I needed to read today. Thank you!
Oh, dear Susan. Blessings on you today, my dear friend. May the Lord lead and guide you during this time of service and selfless love. Jesus is our example. May He bless us to follow Him during these seasons and to love! Sending support, love and friendship to you today. Warmly, Patricia
Thank you Patricia. I thought of your story while I dried and styled Mom’s hair. It is precious time during days of confusion and memory loss. Precious. Blessings to you on this Good Friday.
Me too Patricia. You’ve said it all and said it well! Thank you. ❤
Marta, blessings today. Appreciate your kindness and love here. Warm regards, Patricia
Thank you! I LOVE this! Takes the traditional foot-washing ritual (that was practiced in our church) to a place of meaningful beauty.
Blessings, dear Deb — and thank you! I’m so humbled that God would bring us to Maundy Thursday, then provide a real-life example for us to reflect on, connect with and share. Thank you for responding with such love to my memory with my mother. God is so good. May we follow as He keeps teaching us how to love. Foot-washing and all! Much love today, Patricia
This brought tears to my eyes, so you know it touched a chord within. Thank you so much for your words.
Oh, dear Susan. Thank you so much! This memory brings tears to my eyes, too! Thank you for understanding — and for responding so kindly. Sending much love your way today! Warmly in friendship, Patricia
just lovely reading…..
Dear Lila, blessings on you today. God be praised. Thank you for your beautiful kindness. Sending much peace, thanks and love. Warmly, Patricia
We might not want to show love all the time. Jesus could have said the same abour us. He could have said today I don’t want to show you love. But no matter what we are all imperfect. We will never get on with everyone. But we are still to do no matter how hard it is. What Jesus would want us too do show them Jesus love. Ask Jesus to help us to do that like it says Ephesians 4 v 32 Be kind to one another tenderhearted, forgiving, one another even as God in Christ forgave you. It not easy. But we have to as Christians. Forgive as well. As Christ would want us to do that. As we are all not perfect. We all make mistakes. He loves us mistakes and all. I had to do that in the past. Love Dawn It not easy excellent reading xxx
Blessings, dear Dawn! Thanks also for Ephesians 4:32. Right on time! With kindest thanks to you, Patricia
Me too Patricia. You’ve said it all and said it well! Thank you. ❤
Patricia, I needed this reminder of what God’s love looks like and what it is he calls us to do: To love those hard to love people, to love my husband who isn’t warm or attentive to me. Your story also reminded me of all the ways my mom loved me. This is a sweet story and it captured my heart.
Dear Nancy, blessings on you today. Our relationships can really challenge us, especially when our love isn’t returned. May the Lord warm up your husband’s heart, teaching him how to show you the love he surely feels. Be encouraged in the meantime. The Lord said to love so may He help us to obey. Sending much love and friendship to you today! Warmest regards, Patricia
Absolutely beautiful! Thank you for reminding us that Jesus is the source of our ability to love – and the way gratitude nourishes that love.
Amen, dear Susan. Thank you so much. Yes, He is the source! May He bless you and yours this Easter and you share His amazing love. Warmly in friendship, Patricia
Thank you Patricia!
My heart really needed these words today. They were straight from my soul-washing God! 🙂
In Him,
Becky
Amen, Becky! Yes, wash us, O Lord — our feet AND our souls! Kindest thanks for connecting today. In friendship and love, Patricia
Patricia, your heart always shows up in your writing! Thank you! We’re drenched in psychology and self-awareness these days, told to pinpoint every wrong done us by parents or every offense made by friends and we’ve lost sight of goodness. Back to love, and loving well!
So well said, Michelle! The joy of moving forward with God simply can’t be measured. Sending warm and grateful thanks for your wise affirmation. Back to love, indeed. and loving well! May your journey on this path be beautifully blessed! With much peace and love, Patricia
Thank you SO very much for this post. It reminded me of how I grew up, and though I no longer have my sweet mother, I can certainly relate… Your post brought back great memories.
Dear Sue, blessings today. Your kind feedback means the world! As you savor sweet memories of your precious mother, may the Lord sustain you with His grace and love. I pray His best for you today and always! In you, your mother’s wonderful light still shines! Warmly in friendship, Patricia
Thank you so much for sharing your tender story about your mother and the insights God gave you. Your writing touches me to my core, and always gives me fresh perspectives. God bless you and happy Easter.
Eliza, blessings today, wonderful friend! Your kind comments remind me of the time I met your beautiful mother — and how your glorious spirit always reflects hers. I value your friendship so much. Thanks for always affirming. Sending much love your way today. Also, Happy Easter! Best and warmest, Patricia
Dear Pat – thank you so much for this writing today. I can just picture your mother wiggling her toes and it makes me smile. Yes that was love in action. I am blessed by many friendships and memories that came about in my life by just practicing “love in action.” That’s what it takes. When I think about the friendships that I have that may not have come about if one of us had not stepped out in love toward one another. I thank God for Jesus, that he came down from heaven and bore the ultimate sacrifice for us that we can love freely and without fear, especially to those who seem unlovable in our eyes. By “sharing our imperfect love with His imperfect people,” as you say, blesses us with His perfect love!
Dear Linda, blessings today to you and your entire family (including your amazing sisters! As Easter Sunday draws near, may the Lord show you all the many people you bless through your “love in action.” Watching your beautiful life has taught me much, indeed, about how to show love — yes, even to “difficult” people. Thanks for inspiring. It’s wonderful to connect here today. Much peace and love — and Happy Easter! Warmly in friendship, Pat
I kept looking for the right devotion this Good Friday morning and this was it. I am on my way to my mom and dads home this Easter weekend. My mom is bedridden from a botched back surgery. She doesn’t talk much due to her Parkinson’s as well so it is awkward to sit with her. She wasn’t touchy feely with her love for me but much like your sweet mom she did everything for my twin brothers and I! So, I will lover her better this weekend. God will give me the ability to love on her and my dad! Thank you for your great reminder and Happy Easter !
Kim, blessings — and thank YOU. I’m inspired to know you will love on your mom and dad all this weekend, blessing them as you obey the command of Christ. May your sweet parents feel you love in a special way. Thanks, indeed, for stopping by to let me know and have a beautiful Easter! Warmest and best regards, Patricia
Oh Patricia, your story about loving your mother reminds me so much about my mom. I learned to love my demanding mother by doing her laundry and caring for her thru her 6 six years of dementia. God blessed me in so many ways. My three sisters also were blessed by doing her laundry.
Caring for my mother revealed how much she loved me thru the sacrifices she made while raising her 5 children.
Thank you for the reminder of my many, many blessings.
Diana, blessings and thank you so much. Your beautiful story of loving your mother — by doing her laundry — delivers such a powerful example of Jesus’ mandate to wash others. Yes, wash their feet, their hair, their bodies, their laundry. He surely knew the life-changing lessons we’d learn if we obeyed Him in this command. May He bless you beautifully this Easter as you celebrate His resurrection and how His love redeems us all — mothers and daughters included! Warmly with His love, Patricia
Love this post! Thank you for sharing! ❤️
Amy, blessings on you! Your lovely feedback means so much after a long week. Warmest and kindest thanks — and Happy Easter! Patricia ❤️
Patricia,
Such a poignant & timely post. It is hard to know how our parents were raised. My dad was raised in a non-loving family. Sure they had roof over their heads & food on table, but that’s it. His dad worked night shift as short order cook. His parents & one brother died early of TB. Later on in life dad became a loving person who would hug. I never thought I had a testimony to give. Now I see it differently. My testimony is shown/lived in how I care for others. Each Monday after work I would go visit my parents & see what they needed. Mom was 82, had severe dementia & was bedridden. She knew it was me & Monday around 5. Did my best to help them out even grocery shopping. After she died I did the same for my dad. Even to that end of paying his bills & taking over his money for him. Then he got to bad & wanted to move into assisted living. Shortly thereafter I quit my job & stayed home for a while. Dad’s dementia declined, plus he had essential tremors which made it hard to eat. At meals I would feed him. One day we were sitting there with two men on either side of us. I offered to feed dad & he said yes. One man plainly said “you will get jewels in your crown for this”. I knew immediately it was Jesus talking. I saw him through all that & even geriatric psych twice. Now I’m helping my in-laws. FIL has prostate cancer (second time) & Stage three bladder cancer (91). MIL has various health issues. I cook for them & gather food often. FIL isn’t an easy man to love. He can be self-centered at times & picky. God commands us to love Everyone no matter what!! I’m doing my best. That is all God can ask of us!!
Blessings 🙂
Blessings, dear Beth! Thanks so much for sharing your journey. You’ll get jewels in your crown, indeed. As women, it helps to hear each other’s stories and experiences — especially when it comes to caring for aging relatives. Thankfully, Jesus’ example shows us the way, then He strengthens and guides us when we get weak and unsure. It has certainly helped me, however, to hear from so many in response to this post. I’m grateful you were helped by it, too. To God be the glory! Many thanks for checking in today and Happy Easter! Warmly in Christ, Patricia
Thank you Patricia for this post- I’m going to ring my mum. I hope when I see her next as she lives in another country that God reminds me to wash her feet as Jesus did!
Wonderful, Jas! Much love to you, your mom and your entire family — and Happy Easter! Warmly in Christ, Patricia