I looked out at the hundreds of moms and asked, “Who grew up believing that colorblindness was the answer to racism or that you were a racist if you talk about race or racism?” Just about every mom in the room, with eyes widened, leaned in to testify, and arms of various skin tones sprung up waving hands like flags in solidarity.
The MOMcon workshop session was slated for an hour, so we didn’t have time and space to hear each mom’s specific story. Although most were strangers, their unified response to my prompt elicited an instant familiarity, the type usually found among long-time friends. They were moms of different ages, from different backgrounds and regions, gathered in a room in Louisville, Kentucky and connected around a common story.
I then asked, “If you were told to be colorblind, to not acknowledge differences in skin color, to pretend that everyone is treated the same, and to not talk about race and racism, then why are you here? Why are you attending my workshop on how to talk about skin tone and race with your children?” They responded with guilty grins that warmed the space to family-room temperature. I broke from my cadence of questions to induce an intentional pause.
I paused to acknowledge, recognize, and honor the sacredness of what was happening. They and I, at some point in our lives, had been silenced, robbed of language, power, and the right to express the parts of our stories related to skin color, ethnicity, race, and racism. Directly or subconsciously, we had been conditioned and expected to muffle and muzzle those parts of our lived experiences. We had been forced to fracture ourselves, to compartmentalize our lives into classifications — certain parts approved for comfortable consumption and those other parts branded too risky to escape the tongue, let alone grace listening ears.
And there we each were with our fragmented stories, collectively ready to push past the typically validated parts of our stories so we could unleash the parts that had been suppressed into invisibility. We were compelled to no longer hide those parts because we were in resurrection mode! Where our stories had been broken into pieces to be discarded to dark space, we were now positioning them into the light to bring new life.
And so, in reflective quiet, we paused to venerate the sacred space shaped by sharing our stories — our whole stories and our whole selves. We had been told not to talk about skin tone, ethnicity, race, and racism as a part of our lived experience, but we would no longer adhere to a social norm that lessened our validity and forced unnecessary and unhealthy restraints.
In that pause, the air was heavy with the weight of a collective acknowledgement. A room full of moms (mostly white) were taking a risk to speak life into that which for most of their communities was a dead issue. They were being courageous. They were breaking the rules. They were stepping out and beyond. They were choosing discomfort over convenience. They inhaled the bravery in the air and exhaled the hope that had been stifled by silence. I was so proud of them!
Each of our lives is an impressively elaborate story written by God. When parts — especially the less popular, painful, ugly, or unpolished parts — are muted, we dilute God’s brilliantly crafted details.
Your whole story matters. I can appreciate fantasy and fairytales, but you — all of you — are a gift to the world. Your whole story reveals God’s love in its uniquely designed way. Your whole story enriches perspectives, shines light in dark souls, brings connection to isolated hearts, unfolds understanding, and cultivates appreciation and empathy.
Please don’t deny the world the privilege of your whole story.
And for those of us who get the opportunity to be impacted by someone’s whole story, including the parts that may make us uncomfortable, let’s welcome it as an invitation to be touched and transformed. We stifle the fullness of all that we can gain from the whole story, and we miss out on the fullness of God at work in our lives. We lose when we silence authentic and real lived experiences. So, instead of coddling our discomfort, let’s open our hearts, minds, and eyes to receive the gift extended through it.
Each of our lives is an impressively elaborate story written by God. - @brownicity: Click To Tweet Leave a Comment
You know that song “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world, red and yellow, black and white all are precious in his sight,
Jesus loves all the children of the world….
Maybe the colour choices in the song may not be PC (politically correct) these days but I grew up singing that song and I’m also half Indian and half Australian so I have a dark mother and a white father…God made everyone unique from their hair colour, skin colour right down to their stories and He made us all beautiful. He loves us all and we need to embrace each other, embrace different cultures otherwise we are missing out on enriching our own lives, missing out on community and missing out on the beauty God created.
So true that song. Jesus loves us all Red and Yellow Black and White. We are his Children. I just love that song so much. We as Christian are to do the same love everyone no matter what color their skin is. As Jeus Loves us no matter wha color our skin is. We are all also Daughter’s of the King. The only King Jesus that went to the cross for us. John 3 verse 16 says it all for God so loved the world he gave his only Son. I say Amen to that. What you also wrote is is just so beautiful. Love Dawn God Bless
Thank you for reading and sharing. PC or not, the main idea of the song remains in tact. We are LOVED! All of us is loved — not just the parts that society is willing to see.
Shalom
I love the wide open space you created in your workshop!
Teaching my own kids about race was a real challenge because I love in a rural section of the whitest state in this country, so books books books have saved my life.
I just finished reading All the Colors We Will See by Patrice Gopo, a beautiful collection of essays in which she shares her own story, and like you, she opens the door wide for the sharing of life stories as a way of building bridges.
Thank you for reading and sharing! I know Patrice Gopo and I love her essays!!
And I am grateful that you did not back down from the challenge of teaching your children about race/ism.
Thanks for making a difference. I so agree with you. Sharing can help bring us together during these divided times.
Thank you for reading and sharing.
You’re welcome!!
Lucretia, in this day of such over the top political correctness, which has been forced down our throats, you are a blessing from God! Color blindness has never been and will never be the answer. We need to allow Father to show us the beauty in the lives of everyone we meet, because as you say so succinctly, “Each of our lives is an impressively elaborate story written by God.” All lives matter to Him, so all lives should matter to us as His children. His love is the only answer to our culture’s woes. Thank you for allowing the Lord to speak through you. Blessings on your day!
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Thank you for reading and sharing!
You wrote, “We need to allow Father to show us the beauty in the lives of everyone we meet…” I pray that each of us would pray this for ourselves.
Lucretia, thank you so much!! These words are so needed and true.
This world is divided in so many ways, the opposite of heaven where unification and love and peace reign. Jesus calls us to come together as one, but we can’t do that unless we open up and listen to others. I wish I could have been in that room at your workshop. Sharing our hearts and whole selves. Bringing things into the light, even if it is scary or uncomfortable or unknown. Telling our stories and listening is a huge step towards connection and change. I love the part about us being in “resurrection mode”, so it compels us to no longer hide parts of ourselves. So good!
Thank you again, Sister!
All of God’s best to you,
Becky
Becky, thank you for reading and sharing! have you attended MOMcon? This was my first time. I LOVED it (and I am so not a conference person).
I haven’t! I actually hadn’t even heard of it until your article, but it sounds like something I need to check out! I’m up in the Midwest so hopefully they have multiple locations? 🙂
I could not agree more! Lucretia and Jas are both right on the point – God created all of us and He chose to make us different, unique! We are missing out on so much when we fail to embrace different cultures or just get to know someone who does not look like us. Bravo to both these women who “get it”!
Suzanne. Thank you for reading and sharing!
Let’s keep encouraging folks to make space for the parts of our friends’ stories that have been suppressed.
Lucretia,
I grew up in a “big city”. The black children were bused to white schools 1-5th grade. Then white children were bused to black schools for 6-7th grade. Didn’t make sense to me. But we learned early on to get along with each other. I didn’t & don’t judge by skin color. I see you as a creation of God. He made us all beautiful. He wanted lots of color in His human rainbow. This world is so racially divided these days. Not sure what caused it. We need to stop being so divided by skin color & start loving like Jesus would. He didn’t care what nation you were from or your background-He wanted to spread His love to everyone. We need to start talking more of spreading His love to everyone everywhere.
Blessings 🙂
Beth, thank you for reading and sharing.
You are correct. The racial division was see today has been in place for hundreds of years. I pray that as the conduits of Jesus’ love, we would inundate the world with light that drives out the fear that feeds division.
Shalom
While I want to jump right in and give lip service to the “colorblind” stance I know that that is nonexistent. I grew up in a very white farm community with a father who made Archie Bunker look mild. It wasn’t until I started college at 37 that I had my first true interaction with people of color. It was an eye opener in the nicest way possible. As a Christian social worker I prided myself in my acceptance of all races and cultures. It wasn’t until my daughter introduced her black boyfriend that I realized that while you can mask old learned perceptions they are still there. He and I have had quite a journey over the past 24 years and have developed a true love and respect for each other. It took both of us bringing our dusty learned stereotypes out of the closet and into the bright light of day. That was the only way we were able to examine them, poke holes in them and throw them away. A wise person told me that integration is inviting people of other colors to dance, inclusion is making them feel comfortable dancing. I believe that the only way we can have a truly inclusive world is not to deny racism but to have honest acknowledgement of the issue and address it in a way that exemplifies our love of Christ.
Hi Sandy.
Thank you for reading and sharing!
You wrote “bringing our dusty learned stereotypes out of the closet and into the bright light of day…” YES!!! We can not change what we can not name. When we are free to call out our brokenness, we are free to call in our healing, our transformation, our freedom to love beyond barriers.
Shalom.
Such great points, Lucretia, thank you. 🙂
Brenda, thank you for reading and sharing. And, you’re welcome.
You are so right, Lucretia: Sharing the whole stories of our lives enriches perspectives, shines light in dark souls, brings connection to isolated hearts, unfolds understanding, and cultivates appreciation and empathy. Such important outcomes! I wonder what gentle questions would create an accepting atmosphere and what actions of affirmation could support open honesty? How do we pave the way? In some circumstances, it is a great risk to tell the whole story. We can never know for sure what the reaction might be. I suppose, in the final analysis, the decision must be born out of faith–faith that hearers will be accepting, faith that God will use the story for His glory.
Nancy,
Thank you for reading and sharing.
Yes, we must learn to navigate the spaces that invite our whole stories. Personally, I’ve been attacked for sharing parts of my story that certain people are not prepared to hear. Their discomfort outweighed their faith in GOD to use my whole story to help them. Ultimately, I try (not without struggle) to share as I am inspired by Holy Spirit. That way, even if what I share is rejected, I know that my words were God-inspired (breathed) and will give life eventually.
Shalom
Lucretia, I am so sorry you’ve been attacked for sharing parts of your story. But your attitude is exemplary: to stay focused on the possible outcomes of your God-inspired words. I add my prayer to yours that he engineer circumstances for those outcomes above what we can ask or imagine!
Thank you for prayers.
This is a beautiful heartfelt article. Helping us to truly open our eyes to see the truth. Thank you!
Nichole,
Thank you for reading and sharing!
You’re welcome.
Shalom