About the Author

Grace P. Cho is a Korean American writer, poet, and speaker. She believes telling our stories can change the world, and desires to elevate women of color’s voices in the publishing industry. Learn more at @gracepcho and gracepcho.com.

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Reader Interactions


  1. I’m reading in Jeremiah right now, and have been stunned to discover that even within the chapters describing judgment on an entire nation, there are verses in which a wistful God leaves the door open for reconciliation, actually describing a future day in which the idolatrous nation will be restored to Him. Eugene Peterson (bless his heart) used the phrase “judgment in the service of salvation,” and your words remind me that discipline of our children is also in the service of their ultimate salvation. We discipline and then reconcile–a picture of God’s great welcome in the Gospel.
    Blessings to you, Grace. Thanks for all you do.

    • Thank you for this, Michele. Yes, how many times in Scripture do we see God opening up the way for reconciliation to happen! What a good God we have!

  2. Michele,
    I am echoing Michele’s comment in that I am always amazed how God, over and over again, shows mercy to the nation of Israel. Countless times they promise to keep the covenant God has established with them, but before you blink an eye they are back at their old sinful ways…yet God continually forgives. We are called to forgive seventy times seven and seek reconciliation. I do want to add one asterisk** that if you are in a toxic, caustic, or abusive relationship, God does not call us to be doormats because we are His children as well. There’s a difference between repentance and reconciliation and continual verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. Those call for boundaries. God does not call us to endure that. Great post!
    Bev xx

  3. You are so right it is a beautiful and amazing thing, the grace God shows us. Thank you for showing us the importance of showing that same grace to our children, husbands and friends.

  4. Grace,

    God continually shows us grace & love. We mess up daily-yet He is wooing us back to Him with open arms. God’s ultimate goal is to have Israel reconciled with Him & the Gentiles also. Just like a parent disciplines their child God must discipline us to get our attention. Time & again the Israelites rebelled against God. They grumbled & followed false Gods. We do the same things. We stumble, grumble & make idols of people, & things. This world worships everything except God. It is time we got back to the one true God who is waiting patiently with wide open arms saying “come child I forgive you”. We must also be like God in being quick to say “I’m sorry” & accept other’s apologies.

    Blessings 🙂

  5. Grace, thank you for the reminder that even when, especially when, our good favor is not deserved by another it is then we have the opportunity to demonstrate Jesus-love to another. I needed to hear that this morning. Bless you, sister. (And may God help all the mamas in the trenches disciplining kids!)

    • Dear Judith,

      Thank you for reading today’s post. We always count it a blessing when a woman gives part of her day to spend time at this virtual table. Please know that (in)courage is a place that upholds love, grace, and respect for others. We desire to have open conversations about hard topics, which does not always mean we will agree, but it does mean we will listen and receive another sister’s perspective in a way that honors one another and this community. In this posture of unity, there is no place for accusations and rude language. Please feel the freedom to use the comments section here to ask questions, point out concerns, or share your own story. But do so with love and respect for one another.

      With grace,

      Becky Keife
      (in)courage Community Manager

    • Hi Judith!

      You’re right in saying that I am the adult. I am, and in this story, I’m sharing how even as adults, we may not do what’s best all the time and that we can learn about God through our kids. I hope you’re able to see God in the people around you as well and that His grace would overflow into your life.

  6. So, I’m estranged from my father and i don’t ever see us being reconciled. He’s hurt me terribly and refuses to acknowledge that he’s done anything wrong, and blamed me or someone else for everything. I tried for 26years to be a good daughter but as soon as i tried to stand up for myself he rejected me and wants nothing to do with me. He’s completely cut me out.

    Anyway. At this point i can’t do anything to reconcile. I feel guilty and worthless for not being able to reconcile on my end, but i don’t think it will do any good. I know the chances of him ever wanting to talking to me are slim to none. He literally wants nothing to do with me. But i feel like if i reach out to him, I’ll be allowing and encouraging his sin.

    Sometimes i feel like by not saying wanting, I’m extending grace. But by talking to him I’m either condoning sin or it’ll just end up in a huge argument.

    • Hey Molly,

      I’m sorry to hear about your relationship with your father. It sounds like it was a hurtful and possibly abusive relationship, and it sounds like you’ve done all you could on your end to try to reconcile. Some relationships can’t be redeemed or reconciled in this lifetime, and sometimes space and boundaries are what’s needed most when the relationship is toxic and abusive. Know that you are loved, that God has seen your efforts to reconcile, and that even if your father doesn’t come to meet you in your reconciliation, you have been reconciled to God, and He is your defense.