I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, squinting from the lights above while also trying to open my eyelids so I could put mascara on my lashes. My mouth opened, too, almost instinctively. And I wondered why opening my mouth helped open my eyes. It didn’t make sense, and neither did the way I was feeling.
I had been struggling with self-doubt and questioning everything about myself that week. Now here I was getting ready to speak out of town at a large women’s Bible study event, and instead of feeling excited I was begging God to zap me with confidence or send Jesus back before I got there.
My internal dialogue was relentless — what if I forget my message? What if they don’t connect with my stories or my teaching? What if they regret inviting me?
Finished with my makeup, I turned around to put a few things in my suitcase and noticed a huge nine-foot shadow on the wall. I was surprised by how much bigger it was than my five-foot, two-inch frame.
As I stood there looking at the humongous shadow, I sensed God whispering to my heart: You can only see the shadow because you’ve turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.
Slowly I turned back toward the lights above my mirror, and I was no longer standing in the shadow.
Instead of answering my prayers and zapping me with confidence, God was showing me how I got stuck in this awful place. In the same way I turned away from the light above my mirror and ended up in the shadow, all week I had been turning away from the light of Truth, and all that God thinks and says about me. That’s how I ended up in the shadows of my self-doubt.
When we live in the shadows of our doubts, insecurity bombards us with thoughts like:
I can’t do this.
Things will never change.
My life isn’t going to get better.
I’ll never have the confidence I need.
Those are some hopeless and heavy statements, aren’t they? But isn’t that what self-doubt does? It distorts our thoughts, the same way the shadow distorted my size. Our doubts start to feel bigger than we are, and the longer we stay in their shadows, the more self-doubt overpowers our minds and emotions with confusion, discouragement, and defeat.
I know, because I allowed it happen to me over a lifetime. But after that day in my bathroom, I knew what it was going to take for me to step out of the shadows of doubt and start a pilgrimage towards freedom I had never believed was possible.
Can I tell you something that I know without a doubt. Something very personal? God doesn’t want you living in a cycle of defeat or dwelling in the shadows of self-doubt. He declares with confidence that things can change: “See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:19) and “all things are possible to [her] who believes” (Mark 9:23 NASB).
My heart, mind and soul needed those truths and I bet your does, too. If you’re tired of letting self-doubt steal the best parts of you and your relationships or calling, let today be the day you take your first step (or your next step) towards the Light. It’s a process, but it’s possible to live with a confident heart. To live beyond the shadows of your doubt as you learn how to find lasting soul-confidence in the security of God’s promises!
Adapted from A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, by Renee Swope. Copyright © 2011, Revell. Published with permission. All rights reserved.
Renee Swope is a monthly (in)Courage contributor and author of the best-selling book, A Confident Heart. Renee’s passion is to help women identify their most debilitating self-doubts and empower them with strategies to overcome them using powerful Biblical Truths and transforming tools. Each chapter of her book includes scripture-based prayers, personal Bible study and small group questions, journal prompts and and a chart that includes 31 different “When I say… God says…” statements and scriptures to replace your thoughts with God’s thoughts.
The “A Confident Heart”eBOOK is ON SALE for ONLY $ .99 through October 31st! Not sure you need the book? Sign up for Renee’s FREE “Confident Heart” 7-day devotional to see what’s inside first.
God doesn’t want us living in a cycle of defeat or dwelling in the shadows of self-doubt. - @ReneeSwope: Click To Tweet
I always hoped self-doubt would be something I would out totally grow, but it seems to want to follow me and attack me even at my age, which is 60 now, but I have also learned it teaches me – as you have written about, to keep my eyes on the Lord, not myself – and He will turn that self-doubt to reliance on Him and what He can do through me!
Hi Kathy! Looks like my reply to you on Saturday didn’t ever post. Not sure if you’ll see this but wanted to share it anyway. 🙂
I thought I’d outgrow self-doubt too. Just seemed like the longer I walked with God and grew in my identity in Christ, the more I wouldn’t struggle. But in some ways, the more I have followed God’s calling on my life and stepped into the role He has for me as an encourager of women, writer and teacher of His Truth, the more the enemy uses whispers of doubt to distract me, discourage me, and try to derail me. BUT like we have both experienced, we can take what the enemy wants to use for evil and turn it into a prompt that we need more of Jesus, more time with Him letting Him love on us and remind us we don’t have to be anything more than we are to be used by Him. It’s up to HIM and all about Him. And that is good news!!!
I can’t say enough about this book and how it helped set my life in a totally new direction. My vicious cycle of self doubt led me down a path of anxiety and depression, but it didn’t stop there. God redeemed my story as he did Renee’s and pulled me out of the pit and I was able to share my story in book form, four years ago. When I finally met Renee at She Speaks in 2015, it was a full circle moment. “A Confident Heart” is definitely a book to keep and re read and have as a weapon in your arsenal to defeat the enemy!
I loved reading your words Michelle and seeing God’s faithfulness. How He takes our brokenness when we surrender it to Him, and turns all those losses into gains in Christ, all the weakness that are exchanged for the power of His strength. So grateful He used and is using A Confident Heart to walk beside you each step of the way.
Renee,
Satan is very crafty. He will use any means to get us down depressed & doubting God’s love. We must move from the shadows into the light of His love & embrace it fully. Sure we may have a few doubts about what God is asking us to do. Just like David & Goliath-he couldn’t do it alone, but with God ALL things are possible. He will empower us to do it. Joshua & Caleb also knew that with God the Israelites could defeat the Amalekites & take the land. When self doubt enters our minds we must be ready with armor-scripture-to fight those flaming arrows. Tell Satan that with God ALL things are possible. I am enough, life will get better & this too shall pass. Putting His word in our hearts can help us put confidence in there also!
Blessings 🙂
Amen!!
I have a t-shirt that reads “You go Girl! And sometimes I won’t wear it because I don’t feel confident enough! So I understand self doubt! Thanks for pointing me back to the Light and God! I appreciate you and your message!
Oh Lauren, thank you for your honesty. And for sharing about the shirt. It’s reminding me of Gideon’s story where He questioned the angel of the Lord about his ability to defeat the Midianites. I have been there so many times!! But the angel of the Lord told Him, “Go in the strength you have! Am I not sending you?” I hope next time you hesitate to wear the shirt, you might see it differently, maybe as God’s message to you – to go in the strength you have Lauren (HIS strength) because He is WITH you!!!
Thankyou for this message! I will give it a try! I appreciate your messages and insight! And thankyou for your wisdom! Praise be to God for all he can do in and thru us! Love in Him! Lauren
Oh, how I needed this today! This past week, I’ve spent quite a few late, late nights on my bathroom floor crying bitter tears over the fears and doubts that the enemy has been whispering to my soul. I’m struggling with a health issue that keeps getting worse. I see it every time I pass my bathroom mirror, and I am so discouraged. I have had every one of these thoughts:
I can’t do this.
Things will never change.
My life isn’t going to get better.
I’ll never have the confidence I need.
Over and over like a broken record. How I love THIS . . . “Our doubts start to feel bigger than we are, and the longer we stay in their shadows, the more self-doubt overpowers our minds and emotions with confusion, discouragement, and defeat.” That is exactly where I have been. How I needed the reminder that “He declares with confidence that things can change!” I’m adding Isaiah 43:19 and Mark 9:23 to the Scripture list I keep by my bed. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And thanks again for your encouraging words on “Learning about Grace from No Ordinary Joe.” Blessings!
Catherine!! I’m so glad you left this comment so I can pray for you. I don’t know what you are walking through with your health, but I do know you are a gifted writer and God used your post on Saturday to encourage and minister to A LOT of people. Satan hates God’s radiant glory that dwells in us. He is obviously threatened by your gifts or he wouldn’t be coming after you like he is. Im praying God’s truth and confidence over you right now!!!
PS. I would love for you to get a copy of my book — the eBOOK is on sale for only $ .99
That way, all that God spoke to your heart through my post (from the book) can keep working it’s way into your mind and soul. The book is packed with truths and stories like the one I shared.
https://www.amazon.com/Confident-Heart-Doubting-Yourself-Security-ebook/dp/B0055PLK2C/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1540835924&sr=8-1&keywords=a+confident+heart+by+renee+swope
Oh how I know about self doubting myself time and time again. I think I could not possibly be worth it. I have had so many failures and continues to fail daily. I am not sure Heaven would even want people like me coming in them doors. I am going thru somewhat a dark time right now and not sure if I will be able to pull myself out of it, out of this negative self doubts that the enemy wants me to believe. I know I must and I know God will get me through this, I just have to keep believing even when my faith is so tiny and keep my mind focus on the light. Thank you for sharing.
Maylee, all of those thoughts are just not true about you sweet sister. There is nothing you can do to make God stop loving you or pursuing you. I’m praying you will take the words and promises from this post and read through outloud to yourself again and again. You are dearly loved and Jesus is right there with you, extending His hand and wanting to walk with you in the darkness and out of the darkness. I pray you can get a copy of my $.99 eBook so you will have easy access to powerful TRUTHS that can set you free!!
https://www.amazon.com/Confident-Heart-Doubting-Yourself-Security-ebook/dp/B0055PLK2C/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1540835924&sr=8-1&keywords=a+confident+heart+by+renee+swope