About the Author

Mary is a writer and speaker who lives for good books, spicy queso, and television marathons – but lives because of God’s grace. She writes about giving up on perfect and finding truth in unexpected places at MaryCarver.com. Mary and her husband live in Kansas City with their two daughters.

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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Whoa! I didn’t see that one coming! Thank you for going beyond gratitude to “deal”making with this post. I want to be the kind of friend who speaks brave truth into a life that has gone off the rails in little ways and in catastrophic ways, and I know this has to happen in uncomfortable space, at least initially.
    But, as your good Panera friend said, “I’d want someone to tell me . . .”

  2. LOVE! I think of this phrase often and have been planning a post around it so yours caught my attention right away. I had my slip and dress caught many years ago. Oh my goodness, it was so embarrassing. Your story shares how we need sisters to help us see the things we cannot and I just love that! It’s hard to do, but so helpful when it’s the loving way to grow alongside of each other. When we have safe and intimate friendships, we have a place for growth to flourish.

    Thank you for sharing this story and for saying, ” we need our sisters to gently tell us we’ve made larger mistakes.” Thank for giving us an idea of what that looks like.


  3. Mary,
    You know that I’ve gone to stores and asked where I can find slips and they look at me like I’m from another planet??!! I’ve had to settle for wearing a spanx slip under skirts (two for one, right?). Well, one morning I walked into church, much like you paraded in Panera, and thank goodness a sister in Christ pointed out my embarrassing Vogue faux-pas. It is truly humbling!! But, maybe we need to be humbled before the Lord every now and then. We can gloss over our sins, but we can’t gloss over out backsides hanging out for all to see lol. I love this quote: ” It’s been good to recognize my sin and feel God’s prompting to let it go and to grow into someone who may not know everything but truly knows the One who does.” Amen! As I get older, God has been molding this stubborn, know-it-all perfectionist into someone who can admit she doesn’t know the answers but can point with assuredness to the One who does! Love this post and your ability to laugh at yourself. I see God winking 😉
    Bev xx

    • Oh yes, the need to be humbled. How hard that is for us know-it-all perfectionists! Of course, that’s why we need it all the more, right? Thanks for getting me, Bev. <3 (Also, full disclosure, my "slip" is actually nylon pettipants – which are just as hard to find as a regular slip!)

  4. Such a good article. Thank you for your transparency – it brings more healing than you may ever know.


  5. Mary,
    This was so refreshing, and the simple act of kindness from a stranger stood out. While I don’t know everything, (not even close), as I learn new things, I am grateful to know God, who does.
    Thank-you Mary for sharing your words with us.
    Have a blessed day all,

  6. WOW. I loved this. Your real honesty. At 66 yrs, i think i know a lot but in reality, what do i really know? But we do KNOW the ONE who KNOWS it ALL. THANK YOU MARY for this great post.

  7. Mary,

    Thanks for sharing that funny, humiliating story with us. So grateful for Godly Christian women who come to us & tell us like it is. They don’t judge condemn they just tell you the truth. We all need to better know the One who does know it all! This reminds me of a devotional in my Women’s Devotional Bible “Cramming for Finals”: A ninety-six year old lady was a faithful attendant at women’s club Bible studies. She came with lessons prepared and knew all the answers. One day a tactless member asked her, ‘Why do you work so hard on these lessons when you’re so old and it doesn’t matter?’ Little Bess Elkins looked up and said confidently, ‘I’m cramming for my finals.’ It is never too late to get ready for finals. It takes desire to learn and it does take preparation so when the great target appears we’ll be able to hit the bull’s eye. We must always be prepared to give an answer for our hope. We must be ready to help other women in their walk also!


  8. Speaking truth into my life or someone else’s is often difficult. The perspective you shared makes it worth the time to listen.
    Blessings to you and yours!

  9. Excellent and thought provoking read! It’s not easy to hear that “your slip is showing” but you definitely gain a newfound respect for the person that cared enough to tell you and guide you in the right direction.

  10. I love this so much! I feel exactly the same in my writing. I want to make sure I only speak truth, but that also means being humble enough for correction. And I need to remember to choose it, because willingly humbling myself is always more comfortable than being humbled by force!
    Thank you for these very wise words!

  11. Yes, we need to lovingly point out things to one another. When our slip is showing and when we are straying off course. I know I have shown my slip and even less before.

    This story reminded me of the time I was a teen and my mom went out to nurse my newest sibling during church. Well, she must have caught up my sibling and her skirt and slip all at the same time. She marched into church and down the isle to our seats exposing more of herself than I had seen, even in shorts. I was mortified and thought mom was embarrassing. She sat down and one of us whispered to her that she had grabbed up more than the baby. “Well,” she said, “if no one had seen underwear before today, well now they had.” Her answer mortified me even more as a delicate teen. But now I applaud her for not letting her mistake ruin her day.