The responsibilities keep piling on. The calendar gets filled up with more events. We’re moving from one thing to another with barely a moment to breathe. I run the family around from home to school, on errands, on playdates, to Target and back. Everything is always rushed. My temper is short, and my patience is never in stock. Everyone peeves me. I’m not myself anymore. I become only the things I do, the roles I play, and it’s suffocating me.
Writing is the first thing to go when I get busy. It’s hard to justify creative work when there’s laundry to be done, when the kids need attention, when family or friends are in crisis.
“It’s just a hobby,” I tell myself. “It’s not important,” or “It’s not as important as . . . ” The lies start to pour in and make more sense than all the true things I’ve felt in my gut about my gift with words.
You’re not a writer. Don’t kid yourself. You’re wasting time. There are more important things you’re already committed to right now.
They fill my mind and take charge, fooling me into thinking they have my best in mind.
Don’t worry. You have other skills you’re good at. You’re a good mentor. You’re great at hospitality — just stick with those.
I try to protest, but they shush me. Without realizing it, I’ve been backed into a corner. I sit there obediently as if I belong there, not even questioning whether the lies are true or not.
So I continue on in busyness. I keep my schedule packed. Every free slot on the calendar is taken up. Every free moment of my day is filled with social media so I don’t miss out on anything. I pour into becoming a better wife, mom, sister, friend. I get fooled into thinking I’m being productive, then reward myself by catching up on my TV shows and binge watching new ones. I don’t let my mind have any extra space so I won’t remember, so I won’t hear the gentle, inviting voice of God calling me back to Himself, to myself, to writing.
My life becomes overloaded, and so does my soul. I lose peace. I start to people please again and strive for the unrealistic goal of perfection in all the roles I play. I feel as though I’m stuck in a glass box. The air is stale. I can’t breathe. I need to get out. I need to break free. My soul isn’t well, and it needs the space to be whole again.
It needs whitespace. Whitespace — void of noise, people, striving, shoulds and shouldn’ts. Whitespace — where I can breathe, where I can come back to my true identity, where I can just be.
I used to look forward to vacations or conferences or any time I got by myself as my only “Get Out of the Glass Box Free” card. They gave me a break from the routine I felt stuck in, but they weren’t guarantees I’d get the space I needed to breathe deeply. They were short-term solutions to a busyness problem I had long-term issues with, and over time I learned that whitespace isn’t found in vacation breaks; it can be found anywhere.
When I feel confined by the monotony of our suburban life, I long for wide, open space. I ache for the endless fields of luscious green or the infinite expanse of the sky. My eyes yearn for the pastels and jeweled colors of creation. My ears yearn to hear the rustle of leaves dancing in the breeze. Nature woos me into quiet worship, reminding me of who I am and whose I am.
And though I prefer the vastness of an open field, whitespace can be found in a walk around the neighborhood, in the pages of our journals, in a deliberate breath. We can find it in a quiet room, in prayer, in writing, in a paintbrush, in closing our eyes and seeing it in our imaginations.
When things are busy and our minds are anxious, we need space to breathe. It’s not a luxury but a necessity. It’s what reconnects us to our God, our Creator, and Father, and as we let Him sing over us, our souls can come alive again. It’s in that place of peaceful rest we find room to to be and to create again.
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
Psalm 18:19 (NIV)
Michele Morin says
You had me at the first paragraph (“How did she know?), and as much as I love summer, the lack of routine derails me, as I run from minute to minute, task to task facilitating everyone else’s priorities. Thank you for saying out loud here that whitespace is something we need in every season.
Grace P. Cho says
Yes, every season! Even in slow seasons, I feel like the pressure to be busy still lays heavy. I hope you found some whitespace in your day today!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Grace,
Oh how the enemy loves when we’re “busy”!! Why? Because we are not taking time to be with our life source….God and His Son. This was never so clear to me as when I was sidelined with multiple surgeries. I was forced to BE STILL. When you literally can’t walk, or drive, or move about freely for 6 weeks at a time, you are forced into God’s presence. I hate to admit that, but it’s true. There’s only so much Netflix binge watching you can do until God says, “How about you come spend time with me?” What a gift that time was. I was able to read His Word – really dwell and meditate on it. I had time to pray and just be in God’ presence. It was really a blessing in disguise. I got in touch with my creative writing juices again. I was actually an asset to His Kingdom building team. Thanks for the reminder, now that I’m doing better, to make some room for white space. God needs it. I need it.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Jas says
Love the ‘connecting to our life source’! I’m going to use that one from now on! Xx
Grace P. Cho says
Connecting to our life source- yes!! We are truly nothing without Him, and life isn’t quite fully life without Him no matter how full we make it. I hope as you continue to heal, Bev, that He meets you in the whitespace you create!
Jas says
I love watching everyday answers online at JMM. Walks on the beach or meditation with the headspace app and going to the gym. These are all things that bring me calm, make me feel good and I talk to God. White space is definitely a necessity! Thank you for writing about what we all face busyness it’s not good to be perpetually running from one thing to the next. It’s life with kids, work commitments, study, family – we all wear so many different hats. If we don’t connect (as Bev put it) connect to our life source that’s when troubles start. Lies and self doubt remain unchecked, direction is lost and we end up exhausted and not really fulfilled. Thank you for this most important reminder!
Jas
Grace P. Cho says
I love that you’ve got your go-to things to help you create whitespace in your life, Jas!
Jolene says
Oh Grace, I needed your words today. I received hard news for a writer this morning. I’m compelled to write even more, but need space to process and sit with God. Today, I’ll be using my heart and soul care sheets to help me process and listen. Part of the process is 3-5 minutes of quiet to hear from God.
But, I need more. I may carve out quiet by finding somewhere to sit outdoors in the shade. No tunes in my head. No phone in my hand. Only the noise around me and my God beside me.
Thank you for this, today. Miss you!
Grace P. Cho says
Oh Jolene, I’m sorry for the hard news you received today. I hope that some processing in quiet has helped bring you back to your center- Jesus. Loved seeing your face here!
Kathleen Burkinshaw says
Grace, thank you for this post. I have a chronic,progressive pain disease and a lot of times when I’m looking for the whitespace, I only see red.It’s hard to get past the physical pain,but sometimes it’s the emotional pain of wondering what am I good for now when the disease abruptly ended what I used to define myself? But I like Bev, became reacquainted with writing again. But a recent health issue has cropped up and I find myself grasping for a glimpse of whitespace. But I found a glimmer of it reading your inspiring,empathetic post. Thank you.
Grace P. Cho says
Kathleen, I’m so sorry for all the pain you’re going through and for the lack of whitespace the pain creates. Praying for relief and for God to help you, meet you, hold you, and for you to know His comfort and His presence with you. I pray you also know deep in your heart and gut that He is not done with you yet. <3
Kathleen Burkinshaw says
Thank you so very much ❤
Robin Dance says
Grace,
This shows great wisdom and insight, to understand margin is NECESSARY in our lives; if not, we’ll explode. I’m not in that busy season with children anymore, but busy is a greedy idol and she still finds a way to creep in subtly if you aren’t on guard–and she’ll rob you blind! Thank you for such a lovely encouragement to be intentional about whitespace, to allow the room to be filled with His presence, and in so doing, expand space for creativity <3.
Grace P. Cho says
I love what you say about not being in a busy season with children anymore but how busyness is such a greedy idol. Yes!! I hope you can speak more into that — people are needing and wanting to hear more from where you’re at!
Lynn Koukal says
Thank you for helping me identify and clarify exactly what happened to me recently. I had to leave my house, get in the car and drive to the library, where I know it’s quiet and I could just be me. I opened my writing notebook I took along so I could pour out all my thoughts and feelings on a page. Turned out to cover six. After 45 minutes I felt refreshed, as if grace itself had washed over me as a gentle breeze, a cooling rain, a gentle calming whisper.
By the time I returned home, peace had calmed my heart and mind. I am so grateful for His faithful ways that restore, by comfort and love. What’s more is that this was such an important lesson to learn from, and I am more excited to witness the changes I will be practicing from it. By the way, please never doubt your gift of writing, as a writer myself, I know when I witness the holy spirit’s lead in yours. Blessings to you.
Grace P. Cho says
Thank you, Lynn. I love the library — the smell of old books always takes me to a peaceful place.
Phyllis says
Would love to see articles for older Seniors who are not rushed and not overly busy. Just need some assurance and advice for filling our hours after retirement with kids living far away.
Kathy Cheek, Devotions from the Heart says
Hi Phyllis,
I would like to invite you to my site Devotions from the Heart. Many of my readers are middle aged and Seniors. I am an empty nester and I have a book coming out soon! http://www.kathycheek.com
Grace P. Cho says
Thank you, Kathy, for writing those! Phyllis, I hope Kathy’s words encourage and inspire you!
Jen says
Ohh Grace, you definitely caught my attention this morning !
Your words speak truth and so great to get that reminder..
My morning devotional time seems to be my quiet time, also when no one is home and it’s nice out, I go outside and float in my pool as I look up and see the beauty that God made for us. The sounds of nature, the wind, the sun…( even taking a drive to look at the lake ) that’s my white space….
Phyllis,
I am not a senior but I’m disabled due to several med al illnesses and my one and only Daughter lives in her own apartment, so I can relate. Although, I tend to find things that keep me busy daily, but often I find I haven’t accomplished anything , it’s definitely tough as empty nesters. I think we need to volunteer, make coffee or lunch dates with friends, etc.
our fur baby likes naps, lol
Grace P. Cho says
The pool and the lake sound lovely as well as the sounds that come with them.
The empty nester season is one I can’t speak into, but I do hope more people will talk about it!
Nancy says
I love the concept of white space, and I identified with so many of the sentiments in today’s selection! I find that I sometimes rush in to fill temporary voids with other activities and end up creating an artificial state of “busy-ness” when I need to use that white space and focus myself on developing and using those gifts from God that I sometimes treat as frivolous. Thanks for this reminder about prioritizing!
Grace P. Cho says
Prioritizing is key!!
Francee Strain says
Thanks for sharing. Your phrase “long-term issue” really struck me. I have one.
I published a book last year where I share about my overwhelmed perfectionism and busyness and how God calls us to rest (No Ordinary Invitation: Called to Live a Life of Eternal Purpose). I completely hear your heart today. And it is telling my heart to pay attention. My neglect (and even refusal) to withdraw and refresh costs me my health, relationships, peace, joy, productivity, and more. God has a purpose for us, and just now I am getting the analogy that it is not to blacken all the white space on the calendar. I know these things, but my brain thinks I can’t stop to think about it…I have stuff to do.
My whitespace comes in birdwatching and recently photography to share natural beauty with others. While I am in this space, my heart is in awe of God, and it forms words and songs of worship.
As you have set aside writing, the thing I have set aside is piano. I am going to wrap up this letter and take my fingers from this keyboard to a musical one. ☺
Happy writing!
Francee
Grace P. Cho says
Love that, Francee. You hit it on the nail when you said that it costs us.
Becky Keife says
Oh, Grace, I have so been in the place — often times find myself dipping dangerously back in it. Spending time in nature is definitely a primary way my soul breathes. I’ve been hiking in the early morning a couple times a week and even though my body is tired when my alarm goes off, my spirit feels stronger afterward. Whitespace = Creationspace for me. xx
Grace P. Cho says
Amen to that! I’m glad you get out so often!
Kathy Cheek, Devotions from the Heart says
My whitespace wore me out today, I was enjoying a morning walk too much because the morning was just so beautiful, and I kept walking and walking farther and farther from home. But then I had to walk all the way back home. But it was worth it. I love the wide open spaces of the walking trail near our home, but at home, it is on the couch by the window looking out into the back yard flower garden that rests my soul.
Grace P. Cho says
Thank you for sharing, Kathy!
MrsD says
This morning I went to a forest space – rare in southern Saskatchewan (Canada). I wrote this blog and prayed for a while; my soul felt lighter when leaving.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=915408841981737&id=150630045126291
Grace P. Cho says
Love that!
Theresa Boedeker says
Spending time outside always clears my soul and let’s me breathe.
Grace P. Cho says
Me too. 🙂
Becky Beresford says
THIS! All of it! 🙂
Thank you for sharing Grace. And thank you for reminding this girl’s heart that not only it is a desire to have white space… it’s a need!
Blessings to you,
Becky
Grace P. Cho says
Yes, Becky! Hope you enjoyed some whitespace today!
Beth Williams says
Grace,
Priscilla Shirer in her Bible study “Breathe” states that we have been freed. Freed from the slavery of sin & busyness is a sin. Oh, we’re doing good things. Just not spending time with God. Jesus created Sabbath for us. He wants us to take a Sabbath rest weekly. Give one day completely to Him. Your soul will be calm & the anxious thoughts will be abated. Bonnie Gray wrote a book “Spiritual Whitespace.” She mentions busyness & the need for quiet reflection time. Also the need for margin in your calendars. In Bonnie’s book “Whispers of Rest” she mentions soul care. Things one can do to care for yourself so your more able to be there for others. Busyness is a tool the devil uses to keep us away from God. He laughingly says you’re doing all these great things for God. Yes that may be true. Are we spending time in conversation, worship of Him? Jesus often went away alone for “spiritual whitespace”. If He needed it then how much more do we? Great insights!
Blessings 🙂
Grace P. Cho says
Love all the tie-ins from those authors! Thanks for sharing, Beth!
Carolyn White says
I was beginning to feel that I had lost the name “writer” among my titles of mom, farm wife, friend, leader, daughter…every single time I sit down to “work” I, too, am called away. Lost shoes. Cows out of their pens. An unexpected hysterectomy. Where are His words that used to flow from my pen? I must first seek Him and then the writing will come. The peace will come. I will pray and ask for time. I will become mindful of the emptiness I feel when I do not create. Maybe we are missing His Creation? His Sabbath?
Pearl Allard says
Grace, I needed to read this today! Thank you for beautifully expressing this and for pointing out that our white space with God is intricately connected to creating! I often fall for the lie that it’s a luxury I can’t afford. You argue it’s vital. Really appreciate this and you!
Grace P. Cho says
So glad it spoke to you, Pearl!