Our women’s group was meeting for the first time, and I wanted everything to be just right. The house was clean for the most part, and the kitchen table was free from piles of folded underwear. (A friend who was coming tried to comfort me about the house saying she didn’t care what it looked like, even if there was underwear on the kitchen table.) The orange juice and coffee were waiting, and I’d just pulled a gluten-free coffee cake from the oven, so no need to worry about serving a day-old rice-flour dessert (aka sawdust) to my friends.
Everything appeared to be ready. Everything but me. I was a complete wreck. I always struggled with hospitality — I worry about the food I serve, dangling cobwebs, and the spots on our drinking glasses. (Spots? Who am I kidding? They’re so bad they look frosted!)
But I also knew I wasn’t ready to encourage anyone. Earlier in the week I’d gotten a big ol’ no on a writing project I’d been working on for a few years and dreaming about for much longer. The rejection hurt and I was in serious discouragement mode. Lord, how can I possibly welcome anyone and make them feel loved and encouraged when I am hurting and the pain is festering like a splinter in my heart?
I considered canceling but felt God saying it was time to do this. He’d already given me the Scripture to use and led me to a list of icebreaker questions to begin with. I just needed to stick to His plan.
Two of my dear friends arrived while the coffee cake was still warm and we cracked up over the questions, revealing our worst hair styles and the “really cool” things we used to wear growing up. (Anyone else remember pegged pants tucked into slouchy socks pulled up really high?)
When the time came to move into the living room to discuss God’s Word and what He had planned for us, I curled up on the recliner, opened my Bible and notebook, and took a deep breath. I’m a mess, Lord. Please help me to focus on Your Word so You can reach out to them. I read about Jesus healing the paralytic in Mark 2, stressing verses 3-5:
Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”
Mark 2:3-5 (NIV)
I looked at my notes, at what God had shared with me earlier, and the words tumbled out with my tears, “Sometimes things are going to ‘paralyze’ us, and we’re going to need friends to carry us, to carry us in prayer to Jesus.”
That was it for me. Those words touched the splinter in my heart, and I realized I was the one whose faith was tired, paralyzed even, and I needed to be carried. God knew how badly I was going to need this time, why I shouldn’t have canceled, and my friends knew it too when I started sobbing. They lovingly listened and hugged me. They tenderly plucked that splinter, encouraging me to give the wound time to heal and to keep fighting.
That first meeting wasn’t about the glasses being spotty or the coffee cake being warm but about God reaching in when I couldn’t reach out, when my faith was tired and I was too weak to encourage anyone. He found me nestled in the recliner in our living room and showed up looking an awful lot like my friends, hugging me through their arms and speaking His Word through my very mouth. What a blessing to be carried by friends, and what an honor to have God walk right through my front door, right into my imperfect house, to love and heal me right where I lay paralyzed.
And now I am free to carry others.
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Joey,
I am fortunate to have a group of girl friends who have carried me many miles – we’ve taken turns carrying each other. We call ourselves the “Perseverance Posse”. Besides being women who love the Lord, we are also Christian women who have been abandoned by our husbands and have gone through the awful passage called divorce. Like you pointed out in your wonderful post, God puts people there to carry us and then calls on us to carry others. Those who go before can help and guide those who come behind. It’s just how it is meant to work in God’s economy. Thank you for that reminder here this am.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Amen!
What a blessing your “Perseverance Posse” must be, and what strength you’re drawing from God and each other through those trials! Isn’t it amazing how God brings us those dear friends as His hands and feet when we need carried? Blessings to you, Bev!
Your words remind me to be so thankful for my friends. Whenever we gather (here where the underwear pile is high!) or elsewhere, I come away feeling as if I’ve been loved and carried. Thanks for this morning encouragement!
It truly is a blessing to have those friends, isn’t it, to come away feeling like that? (Especially when they don’t care how high the pile of underwear is! 🙂 ) May God continue to bless you and those treasured friendships, Michele.
God knows exactly what we need. He’s always on time. God is with you. Breathe.
He sure does! I sometimes find myself wishing He would be a little early though. 😉 But I know His timing is perfect, and I need to let God and trust Him. Breathing… 🙂
Thank you, that was absolutely beautiful……………….
Thank YOU, Kathleen for your kind words! To God be all the glory!!
Hi Joey! What a beautiful post! I love how God knows exactly what we need at the exact moment. So glad you had your friends to carry you in your moment of disappointment and sadness. I, too, have a beautiful group of friends who carry me when I’m down – we do that for each other.
Thank you again for reminding us how much The Lord loves His children! Praise God from Whom all Blessings flow. <
Joy in Jesus,
Lara
Thank you, Lara! I’m so glad you have a beautiful group of dear friends to help you through those difficult times. And isn’t it wonderful to be there to carry them in return…an honor, really. God truly knows our hearts and how tender they are and what we need at the precise moment. He’s simply amazing! Blessings to you. 🙂
Hello Joey and lovely ladies,
Thanks for sharing your story. Being a women of God. We are all facing taff times in our lives and weakness. And God grace is sufficient enough to strengthen us when we are weak. That no matter how strong our faith is ; yet we still fail and fall because we are still living in our own flesh. Yes we do really need a friend, a hands , a shoulder to cry on, a laugher and joy to share with our friends that sent to us from God. I have the same situation with Joey Like my table I’d full of staff, not underwear though but full of papers and need to put aside when me n my husband having a meal together . I have 2 job for 15 years. And when I clean up or organize things a little bit is when my girlfriend is cominng over and sleeping over in my place once in a while. So that at least I cleaned up and not messy looking. 2 days ago my husband lent to Europe for a month together with my stepson . His son Taking him across Europe for his 70th birthday (my husband) . Father and son bonding . Me and my husband travelled Europe 7 times for 14 years of our marriages and now it is the first time he travelled without me. Twas an awful feelings though because we don’t have a children so I’m home alone when I come home from both job. He’s away for a month and only 3 days ago since he left and my prayers that God will give me strength, grace , peace and more joy while I am waiting for his return on June . Still 3 and a half weeks left and thinking that I will invite some friends to come over and share some foods , deserts and drinks with them. Though I am the type of person who’s happy all the time and encourage everyone in a humble way, yet I felt emotionally . Please include me in your daily prayers. I’m better now compare it to the very first day… God send his people to be around us so that we can carry each burden through our prayers. Blessings everyone .
In His grace,
Paula❤️❤️❤️
Oh Paula, I will definitely pray for you! I know it can be hard to be “alone” when our hubbies are gone. When my husband and I first got married, we both worked A LOT and hardly saw each other. We communicated through a notebook we kept on the kitchen counter. BUT…we were able to go off on our own adventures (work adventures are not nearly as exciting as a trip to Europe!) and knew we’d have things to share when we did get together. Maybe while you’re husband is gone and your waiting for him to return with stories and photos of his adventure, you can set out on your own! I love the idea of inviting your friends over for some girl time. 🙂 It sounds like you work a lot, so I’m sure adventure planning would be hard for you…but maybe your adventure might be something simple like trying out a new coffee shop. You could journal your thoughts (with little love notes for you hubby popping up from time to time 😉 ) and take a few selfies. Daydream about new things, different sites, new foods you want to try. If your husband hates mushrooms (like mine) and you love them, you could use this time as an opportunity to spoil yourself with a mushroom packed recipe…I’m thinking pizza! And while you’re setting out on your adventure while your husband is on his, just think…you get to hang out with God! You can talk to Him while you’re in the coffee shop. (Invite Him to come along!!) While you’re trying a new recipe (boy I’m hungry for a mushroom pizza now), turn on some worship music and dance in the kitchen with Him. You are never alone, even with your husband being in Europe. God is SO near to you! So take this time to spend and reconnect with Him. And when your husband gets home and you’re all excited to see him, you can be equally excited to hear about His adventure AND to share your own. Or maybe, you’ll keep some of those silly times of sliding on the kitchen floor with God (am I the only one who does that?!) private – just between God and you. Praying for you, indeed, that you feel God’s presence so strongly in the weeks ahead. Many, many blessings to you!
Hello Joey, thanks for respond. What a lovely letter notes from an angel like you. I was able to read your message after 1pm And I can feel His presence the Holy Spirit around me. 3 days down for my husband 31 days Eurotrip. Yes I spent time with God by listening Praise and worship song. I love the idea dancing with God. I did dance with God when I play Don Moen song- God is good all the time. I feel much better now than the first day. Thank you for your prayers . I love your idea going to a coffee shop with some girlfriends and take some selfies . My husband is old passion way. He doesn’t text , twee, or email or Facebook . He only love to talk over the phone rather that texting or email. So now while their in the other parts of Europe I can only text his son to communicate for 2 weeks then after 2weeks he is in his own country where can I talk on the skype thru my sister in law account. I can’t wait to see him on the skype and hear his voice
Again thank you so much Joey and God bless you richly and abundantly . Take care ❤️ And have a blessed faith filled week ahead . Till then Paula.
I love this post! “Sometimes things are going to ‘paralyze’ us, and we’re going to need friends to carry us, to carry us in prayer to Jesus.” Never thought of that scripture in this way – thanks! When I retire next year, I would love to start such a group!
Hello and thank you, dear Sister! Oh my goodness, I highly recommend starting a group when you’re ready. It’s an absolute blessing! There are so many good books (found right here!) to help you start your journey: Just Open the Door by Jen Schmidt, Craving Connection from the (in)courage community (that’s the one our little group is reading now), and of course you can’t go wrong with God’s Word! Just don’t worry about cobwebs and piles of underwear…they’re really no big deal when your friends show up hugging you at the door! Blessings to you. 😉
How wonderful that God show up when we feel like we are falling apart. We are blessed to be a blessing. Good reminder that we need each other to navigate life’s many challenges.
That’s really it, isn’t it? God shows up when we’re at the end of ourselves, when we can’t fix it, when we’re so broken we can’t even explain it. He is so amazing, so faithful, and SO loving! And you’re right, Carol. We really do need each other to navigate through the challenges. I’m so thankful God provides all that we need. Blessings to you!
Thank you so much for this post. God is working on my heart as I read this and building trust that this will be truth for me. At the moment, He continues to strengthen the truth of His STEADFAST love for me. That He comes to me and speaks to me As He is NOT in who I am and am not. New freedom!!!
You’re so welcome, Gail Noe, and I’m excited for you! New freedom!! Praise God! Yes, let Him continue to build and strengthen your relationship with Him and your trust in Him. His love and faithfulness never fail. Never. He said He will never leave us or forsake us and He means it! Praise God!! (Now I’m getting excited again. 🙂 ) I pray you bask in His steadfast love today, letting it wash over you as He rejoices over you with singing. Blessings to you!!
Beautiful post. We all need carrying at one time or another. Thankful God is at work in us so we can be His hands and feet. <3
Amen! To be His hands and feet wherever we go and whatever we’re doing…even at the grocery store (just happened to me today – leaving me absolutely blessed and in awe of how God orchestrates meetings in His timing). Blessings to you, Denise!
Amen! Love those divine appointments! 🙂
Me too! 😉
Hi Joey! What a wonderful reminder of how God can show up when you least expect Him too! I love the story of the paralyzed man because it speaks so clearly to our frailty. Sometimes we’re the friends, carrying the paralyzed man to Jesus. And isn’t that how we want to see ourselves, the strong ones taking our friends to Jesus to be healed. But sometimes we’re the paralyzed man needing to be carried ourselves. I’m so glad your friends carried you into the loving arms of the Savior that day. Praying that we all will be sensitive to the needs of those around us and be willing to carry each other to Jesus. Many blessings to you!
Thank you, Connie. I can SO relate to what you wrote. I always want to be the strong one carrying my friends/family to Jesus…but sometimes (as it was for our first meeting), God allows me to see how much I need Him and my dear friends to lift me up when I’ve just hit the floor and fallen apart. Yes, I’m praying too that we will all be sensitive to those around us who are needing to be carried. Blessings to you as well!!
Thank you so much.. thank you
Oh my, thank YOU for reading! Blessings to you, Krista.
I always love your blogs- they are so warm and honest. This is a particularly uplifting one. I had a splinter this week and I took it to my ladies group on Wednesday and they comforted me as I poured out my heart. I hope your group goes from strength to strength x
Thank you so much, Katie. Your kind words truly bless me! I’m so glad your ladies group comforted you with your splinter. Isn’t it amazing how God reaches us through our dear friends?! Praying for your group as well…that you all grow closer to God and each other in the meantime. 😉 Abundant blessings to you!
It is sad that most of the time we only seek Jesus when we are sad, weary, drained, depressed, hurting, etc… It is good that in those times He comes to comfort us, no matter what.
I think it’s all part of growing, really. At first we do seem to only seek Jesus during those dark times in our lives…when we know we’re in trouble and we can’t figure out how to fix things on our own. But then something wonderful happens: we grow closer to Him and begin to want MORE of Him. We ask Him to ride with us on our way to the grocery store, we serenade Him in the living room in front of the birds peeking in through the window, we dance with Him in the kitchen, and we think about Him while falling asleep…hoping for just one more moment, a touch, a whisper from Him. And you’re right, He does comfort us, no matter what. And He’s there with us, smiling with us, too. No matter what. Each and every day. We are so blessed! God bless you. 😉
Joey,
Sometimes life throws us loops we didn’t expect. It can be devastating. I’ve had some times like that dealing with my aging dad & his health/dementia issues. It got so bad one time that I called a friend just to tell her what happened & ask for prayers. Some people in my church stood by me, prayed & texted me. I have two groups of friends that meet once a month. We pray & talk about life issues. Sometimes we give advice & check on each other. It is nice to have fellow people you can count on to be there for you & lift you up. One group calls ourselves the final five. We are x-co workers. We try to meet & do life together. One will graduate college next year & others are having family/life issues & one is dealing with cancer. God calls us to bear each other’s burdens. I say it is alright to show our true feelings to others. Let them help & carry us through this trial. Soon it will be our turn to carry them .
Blessings 🙂
Beth, I’m so sorry to hear of your struggles with your dad. Our close friends are dealing with dementia, and we see some of the difficulties they are going through. I’m so glad you have two groups of friends you meet with…what a blessing! You’re right, sometimes life does throw difficult things our way. Thankfully we have one amazing Father who never leaves us and allows us to go through it alone AND He brings those wonderful friends into our lives to carry us through those especially hard times, those who listen and help us in our moments of brokenness. And yes, soon it’s our time to carry them. Praying for you and your dear friends. God bless you.