We all need someone.
This is a beautiful, lonely, hard, and easy truth. Beautiful if you have someone. Lonely if you don’t. Hard for the times you’d rather not need. Easy for the times when someone you need needs you, too.
As my second book Whispers of Rest was published, you might’ve seen me with my loving husband, Eric, and two beautiful boys and you might’ve thought I ought to have been so happy.
I was. But I want to confide in you. I want to tell you that the journey to find rest – to really becoming the Beloved, may inevitably lead you back to parts of your story — people, experiences, conversations, or situations — you’d rather avoid. That are painful but honest. You may be tempted to choose safety. To stay quiet and hide, rather than be vulnerable and real.
You may have to make hard decisions where there are no certain outcomes. You may have to take up a cross that’s hard to bear. Maybe, like me, in order to follow God where He wants to take you, you will need to go through uncertainty. Maybe even loss.
Even though you know God is with you and faith will get you through, you cannot avoid the hardness of the journey. And even though there is much to be thankful for — and you’re grateful for how God walks with you — you cannot deny the weight of the cross on your shoulders.
The hardness of the journey doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path.
A Dare
God calls you to dare to experience being His Beloved. As is. Today. To step out and make choices you’ve never made before. To say no, when it’s more comfortable to say yes. To say yes today, rather than waiting to be better tomorrow.
It’s hard. Who are we to call ourselves Beloved — in light of our brokenness?
It’s the same question launched at Jesus by the Roman soldiers who put a staff in His hand to mock Him as king, crushed a crown of thorns onto His head, and whipped Him, then threw Him out of the praetorium.
The praetorium was the governor’s hall, where Pontius Pilate issued Jesus the death sentence, where the soldiers assaulted Jesus emotionally, hurling wounding words targeted to bring shame and humiliation. It wasn’t enough to break His body. They wanted to also break His heart and His spirit with their words. (See Matthew 27:26–31.)
They mocked Him —Who are you to call yourself a king? After this abuse occurred in secrecy (isn’t that where abuse takes place?), Jesus took His steps through the very public streets of Via Dolorosa. In front of everyone.
“As the soldiers led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene,
who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him
and made him carry it behind Jesus.”
Luke 23:26 (NIV)
It’s likely that following His beating, Jesus could not physically carry the cross all the way to Calvary.
Jesus needed someone.
In that moment, a man whose journey somehow crossed Jesus’ path was pulled in to help Him. We don’t know if Simon even knew who Jesus was. Did they exchange even a single word? It’s unknown.
All we do know is that an ordinary person helped the Savior. Through one simple, understated act, a person became part of the journey with Jesus.
It’s okay to need someone. When the cross is too heavy to carry — but we still want to be faithful to see the journey through — we should not be ashamed to need someone. It isn’t shameful to struggle — because we are still, and always, beloved.
Is Jesus calling you to step forward on a journey that feels uncertain and daunting?
Don’t be ashamed at the weight of that cross. Or what others might say about you.
Listen to Jesus assure you that He carries your emotional wounds, so that you can be healed of all shame today:
“He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.”
Isaiah 53:3–5 (NIV)
Experiencing shame won’t keep Jesus from you. He wraps His healing love around you. Keep stepping forward.
Think of Jesus. Imagine how His steps on the Via Dolorosa were soaked in shame and emotional anguish amid the sea of wounding voices. Then think of Simon who walked alongside Him, carrying the cross for Him.
Jesus needed someone. He doesn’t want you to journey alone either.
God’s Loving Whispers to You
Beloved,
When the weight of the journey feels heavy,
and you feel all alone, come to me.
You don’t have to be unbroken to be loved.
You don’t have to feel ashamed.
We all need someone. Just hold on to me.
I’ve felt every sting of the hurtful words hurled at you,
as I walked the broken road long ago
and even now, as I walk it again with you.
Now let me place someone on your path.
To carry your cross with you.
It’s okay to need someone.
Let me love you through a friend.
Don’t be afraid.
I call you by name. You are mine.
Stay and let me hold you. I am that Someone. I will stay.
A Prayer For Today: When You Need Someone
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for walking the lonely, broken road,
so I don’t have to walk alone anymore.
I need someone. I need you.
Heal my feelings of shame.
Give me courage to need others.
To share my burdens. To trust again.
Transform my brokenness
to become a doorway of your love.
To listen and be someone’s friend. Just like you.
Thank you. Your love is amazing.
You are my everything. I love you.
Amen.
We may not know the way, but the God who loves you not only knows the way – He intimately knows your way. No matter what, Jesus will lead you all the way.
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”
Isaiah 43:1 (NIV)
To read more encouragement from Bonnie Gray’s journey to rest in God’s love, check out her 40-day devotional, Whispers of Rest: 40 Days of God’s Love to Revitalize Your Soul.
Michele Morin says
I love this truth: “The hardness of the journey doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path.”
I protest sometimes about how hard a path has become. Surely, God, this could not be your will for me.
And I forget that He is walking beside me on the path of His plan.
Blessings to you, Bonnie!
Bonnie Gray says
sweet michele, how beautifully Jesus whispered into your heart – that even the hardness of the journey, He is with you and will never leave you. thank you for sharing your tender heart with us!
Renae says
I want you to know that I asked God to speak to me today, and He spoke to me through YOU.
I’m packing up to move. Leaving a house that I love. Going into an uncertain future. And the sadness and anxiety wants to overtake me.
You see I’ve been called to the mission field since I was 7 years old.
And I’ve been on many, many, mission trips.
But I always came home, to kids, grandkids, and my home that I love.
Now, my husband and I have reached a point through a series of events that I now know was God pushing us out of our comfort zone and saying, “It’s time…..”
So thank you for your words today. For speaking to my heart. For being His words to me today.
Bonnie Gray says
Renae, it is a sweet honor to have the gift of your words and your tender heart – in the middle of this journey of moving – and stepping into the unknown. May today’s sweet words in this devotional reassure your heart – look down, it’s His hand, the hand of your Loving Savior, holding yours so gently and firmly – with great love – to walk with you!! Thank you for sharing such honest part of your journey with your husband – hearing “it’s time.” see the love on Jesus’ eyes as He walks this new beginning with you! I was also a missionary once upon a time, so we are kindreds. if you feel it would encourage you, I hope I can share continuing encouragement for your heart in my book Whispers of Rest. 😉
Renae says
Absolutely!
Jeanne says
Renae,
Blessings on your missionary journey. How beautiful on the mountain are the feet of those who bring good news. You are bringing the nearly-too-good-to-be-true news, the best news ever! Thank you for your obedience to His call.
Renae says
Thank you.
Beth Williams says
Renae
I pray God will bless you & hubby on your journey. May He calm your anxious heart & give you a wild adventure to enjoy for His kingdom. You will receive your reward in Heaven. Soak up God’s wondrous love for you now!!
(((((Hugs)))))
Maylee says
We all need someone to encourage us through this life. I know for myself I feel as if I need to walk alone. I don’t want to burden others or my family so I trudge alone and think I can do it all, only in the end to fall apart. This is a tough one for us independent woman. All my life I had been taught to keep everything in and do not show emotions, for that is a sign of weakness. I have been pretty good about keeping it all in until my very best friend passed away suddenly this January. I am still so lost without her and my emotions are all over the place with no one to see how broken I am. I am learning daily to allow others in and it will be a struggle for someone who’s never learned to show much emotions. Even with my husband, I am afraid to let him see this brokenness of me for some crazy fear, he will think negative of me. He is a man with little emotions and I guess I can’t let him see me crying all over the place, everyday. Thank you for sharing Bonnie!
Morag says
I am so very sorry for your loss. It makes total sense to be broken hearted and emotional after losing your friend. I’m just learning that it’s ok to let my emotions out and even though my husband is very unemotional he is getting quite good at holding me when I cry! I definitely need someone other than him to talk emotions through with, so I pray there would be someone you can share your broken feelings with that can show empathy and caring. Be kind and patient with yourself as much as you can. ((Hugs))
Bonnie Gray says
thank you Morag for being the voice of a friend – the voice that reflects our loving Savior Jesus. and for sharing your story. love, bonnie
Kay Lake says
Dear Maylee
You are NOT alone in this! I also am one who has it “all together”. I’m the one others lean on and I’m okay with that ministry. But now can’t keep my emotions all in all the time because of my losses. I think my emotions scare my husband (Marine with PTSD). My husband, and maybe yours, have emotions, but have grown up thinking that the only acceptable reactions for men are stoicism, anger, and negativity. It’s okay to cry. Even Jesus wept. Keep sharing with others, it may be their ministry to listen to you! You are loved and so am I!
Bonnie, this is such a good message. I’m sharing it with my Bible study class. Thank you.
~Kay
Bonnie Gray says
Sweet Kay, thank you for sharing your heart of encouragement with Maylee – the voice of our Loving Savior – through you and your story and journey. It’s a beautiful gift. To know we are not alone. I was invited by the U.S. Military Army to lead a Spiritual Rest retreat for the officers who who lead soldiers into battle. And I myself have recovered and healed from emotional PTSD. I wrote an article that spoke to many men and women readership, and perhaps it can also encourage your husband. I’m posting here, just in case it may be of help: https://relevantmagazine.com/article/having-mental-health-issues-doesnt-mean-youre-a-bad-christian/ and if you’re looking for a devotional to care for your soul during this season, may I invite you to read my book Whispers of Rest. I think you’ll love it. If you’d like more resources on how I dealt with emotional PTSD, please email me with the “Contact” link on my blog thebonniegray.com and i can share specific links for you and your husband.oh, and thank you for sharing this post with your Bible Study class!! that’s an honor to encourage other women in your real-life community!
Bonnie Gray says
Hi Maylee, I’m so sorry for your deep loss of your friend. someone who was that someone you could turn to and pour out your heart. Give yourself permission to grieve this loss. It is a beautiful gift to have someone to have loved you and that you loved share life together and tears are evidence of that love, in a time of loss. Thank you the gift of your story because it gives others here permission to feel their losses to. And this is healing. I believe that is why our loving Savior Jesus was so open in allowing his walk to the cross be so public. He doesn’t want us to hide and be alone. He shows it all to us. Dear Jesus, I pray that you will guide Maylee in this time of remembrance of her beloved friend – and I pray you guide her to find a new friend – one she can begin anew slowly, with the love she has from this friend and with you. I pray for her husband, that you will also help and comfort him, as though he may not show very many emotions, he is your beloved son, who you hear ever emotion in his heart. Bring this couple close to each other as they share with each other, tears as well as joy. In Jesus’ name, Amen.” Maylee, I wrote an article that spoke to many men and women readership, and perhaps it can also encourage your husband know it’s safe to express hard emotions. I’m posting here, just in case it may be of help: https://relevantmagazine.com/article/having-mental-health-issues-doesnt-mean-youre-a-bad-christian/ and if you’re looking for a devotional to care for your soul during this season, may I invite you to read my book Whispers of Rest. I think you’ll love it. 😉
Beth Williams says
Maylee,
You are never alone. God is with you always! We are here for you also!! So sorry for the loss of a beloved friend. I pray God will comfort you & bring peace & calm to your soul. Don’t be afraid to show emotions. Crying is good. It can release stress hormones & reduces tensions. It is God’s way for you to release pent up negative feelings, stresses & frustrations. He will keep each tear in a bottle. Crying will make you feel better.
(((((Hugs))))) from Watauga, TN!!
Stephanie says
i absolutely love this post! Thank you for sharing Bonnie! <3
Bonnie Gray says
thank you, Stephanie!!
Sarah Geringer says
Beautiful poem prayers, Bonnie. I truly enjoyed them. Pinning and sharing on Twitter!
Bonnie Gray says
sweet Sarah, thank you for sharing – and it touches my heart to know the words that brought me beauty in the poem brought beauty to you today. xo
MaryMargaret says
Wow! This really spoke to me today! Thank you! I love how you said to make a choice to say yes today and not wait till tomorrow to be better and say no to things.
Jesus loves you.
MaryMargaret
Bonnie Gray says
how beautifully and powerfully God’s Holy Spirit spoke *just to you* – in the phrase that touched your heart! thank you for sharing, MaryMargaret!
Pearl Allard says
Bonnie, thank you. “The hardness of the journey doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path.” We all need each other, don’t we?
Bonnie Gray says
yes, it’s so vulnerable, and to see Jesus himself needing someone – even as the path was so hard for him. needing someone is a beautiful thing. a heart come alive. thnx, Pearl!
Cary says
I am reading your book, Bonnie, and it is such a good book to be considered as a gift to others!
Bonnie Gray says
Cary!! how wonderful to know I’m with you on your journey of the heart – through the pages of Whispers of Rest!! I already know we are kindreds, aren’t we. If only I could have coffee and hear all the ways God is touching your heart, coming alive with beauty and peace on this journey! Thank you for the honor of being gifted to your friends. Together, through *your voice* and your story – with this #WhispersofRest devotional, we can be ambassadors of being the Beloved! 🙂 xo
May says
This has reassured me, I have sometimes posted comments but never, ever received a reply. I have been lonely and lost and thought that nobody read my comments. oday I have for the first time checked my email address and I had originally posted it incorrectly!
It doesn’t matter now because I know that someone, somewhere did hear – Jesus? – and I am at peace now.
Thank you for this beautiful post I will hold it in my heart.
Bonnie Gray says
sweet May, what a discovery! that you are not alone, that Jesus is with you – even as you thought you were unheard and unread, Jesus whispers, “I am here with you. I read every word that falls from your heart — and into mine.” He captures every whisper and unspoken longing. How beloved you are to Him. and to us. Thank you for sharing your tender heart with us.
Beth Williams says
May,
You are never alone!!! God is with you always!! I know it was God who heard your silent prayers. He lead you to that discovery! We will read your comments & send replies. I pray for a lot of the people here. I will pray God will send a good friend your way to end the loneliness. You are His Beloved! We love & care for you here!
Blessings 🙂
Sarah says
Thank you, Bonnie, for being a channel of God’s amazing love. I am in a lonely season and am clinging to God but have felt so unworthy to ask Him to send a friend. I mean, He is ALL we need so I feel I should not ‘need’ anyone else. However, we are His church and should bear one another’s burdens and live as a body, not a group of individuals. You have given me courage to ask Him. My past year has been tough with health issues and friends have slipped away in the busyness of their own lives. This is fine. God always has a plan and allows what is best for His glory and our growth. How good He is!! Thank you for your encouragement – as soon as I saw the title I knew this was for me. God never tests us beyond what we can endure. This has given me encouragement. Thank you!!
Camila Efraim says
Durante todo dia, passei meus olhos por vários textos. Procurando um único suspiro de esperança. Sei que sou filha, do seu amor por mim, e de sua obra redentora. Mas ontem falava com Deus, eu não aguento mais, e falava. Estou no caminho errado? Tá pesado demais, e não com quem possa dividir. “A dureza da jornada não significa que você está no caminho errado.” Foi como um suspiro de por mais doloroso que esteja, eu posso confiar no Pai e terá um fim. Obrigada <3
Penny says
Bonnie,
I just wanted to say thank-you so much for sharing your beautiful, touching words,
Blessings to all,
Penny
ZORINI LUNGTAU says
Just what I needed. God bless. Thank you.
Beth Williams says
Bonnie,
We all need someone sometimes. Emotional wounds can hurt deeply. God said we are to carry each other’s burdens. I remember a time when I needed someone. I had people praying for my situation. God sent a special friend who was walking a similar path. We understood each other. Go ahead show your emotions-let them out. It is God’s way of cleansing us of life’s pressures & frustrations. Talk to a friend or hubby. Let them in on your struggle. We are all here to help each other. Great wisdom & lovely prayers!!
Blessings 🙂