About the Author

At (in)courage, we empower women to be like Jesus. Our writers share what’s going on in their life and how God’s right in the middle of it. They bring their joys & struggles so that you can feel less alone and be empowered by the hope Jesus gives.

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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. This is some wise and redemptive math! No comes slowly to my brain and to my lips, but I want to do better at this. Thanks for this beautiful picture of how the equation has worked for you.

  2. I read this. I feel the desire growing inside myself s the tears well up. I NEED to do better at it.

    • Oh Andrea, I really hope no one leaves this post telling themselves to do better. Maybe all we need to do is learn to rest in the abundance of Christ. Maybe that abundance will make our yeses and nos clear. I keep having to face how telling myself to do better actually only makes me feel defeated and like the power rests in me. Does that make sense?

  3. I have spent years saying yes when it should have been no. Ooh, we get into trouble, and I am reaping! But yesterday I said NO! So this comes right on time, even though we have all heard it, but this time is on time! I came home from work around noontime with a plan to do some things for myself that are long overdue. I started and yes, the phone call came vying for my attention. I hemmed and hawed, but then it came out of my mouth. NO, I don’t think I can do that today. She even tried to change my mind, but I didn’t back down. And I got a lot (not all) done! And today I feel no guilt! Only peace.

  4. Amber,

    Saying no doesn’t always come easy. People & things are always vying for our time & attention. As i get older I yearn for the smallness & quiet you talk about. The simplicity of enjoying what God has given us. Sure I enjoy helping people & doing God’s work-but even Jesus took time to be alone. We as a nation need to learn to say NO. No to the next big project, no to helping out in school plays, at church, etc. It can be hard to tell someone no, but in the end we will be thankful for the Yes we got in return. Yes to rest, cleaning house, spending time with family.

    Blessings 🙂

  5. Thank you for these words. I spend so much of my time saying” Yes” to everyone else and neglecting myself.
    I tell myself I’m doing it for the glory of God , serving others to show them Jesus, but many times my heart is just not right about it.
    So…I’m learning to say” No” or “Not at this time/ Not right now” because there are more pressing issues….knowing that I cannot give to others what I myself do not yet have.
    Even Jesus got away from the crowd to pray and rest.
    Thank you for sharing your new found wisdom in such a forthcoming manner.
    Be Blessed with continual Wisdom from above.

  6. Beautiful Amber. Thank you for sharing. I mentor many young adult women and the one topic we frequently discuss are the small things in life that bring us the most pleasure. It’s the simple things, and our love for Jesus!

  7. Amber, THIS! “We just didn’t know how to find it until I learned how many no’s it takes to make a yes.” Will be pondering this for awhile. Profound. Thank you!!!

  8. Oh, Amber, You are speaking my life. I chose to do just this for 2017.
    Your words are mine: “When we said yes to scaling, slowing, and quieting down, it wasn’t really saying yes to less work. We said yes to better work.” And yes, for me to be closer to God and be a better, healthier person!

    Yes does mean yes and no means no! Always, nothing more, and nothing less.

    Thank You!

  9. This is exactly where I find God is talking to me. This is what He wants. My focus needs to be on him. I need the quiet with Him to be able to function outside of the quiet. This is what I want. Lord lead me to this place.