There I was, standing in the middle of my classroom surrounded by my students thinking, God, what were You thinking here?!
And He was gently whispering to my heart, Will you stop thinking so much and just trust Me?
Looking back, I’m glad I did. But doesn’t it always feel crazy in that moment? The moment after God shows you just what He has planned for you, and right then it feels a lot bigger than you are. That’s exactly how I felt standing there in that moment. As if my fear was just about to collide with my faith and I had no idea what to do.
I had been offered this job at a private school teaching middle schoolers from South Korea for the next nine weeks. I was thrilled and terrified all at once.
Now at the end looking back, I have to smile. You got it right, God.
Because those 8th graders came into my life and taught me more than I could’ve ever taught them. Was every single day easy? Not at all! But every single day, God showed me more about His love than I ever imagined.
I remember days when I just stared at them and thought to myself, Were you listening to anything I just said? Parents and fellow teachers, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about it! So many times I would spend ten minutes explaining in detail every instruction for their projects and in return I would just get blank stares. Then the first hand would go up . . . “What am I supposed to do?” (Teachers, you feel me?)
I would get so frustrated because If they’d just listened the first time they would know what to do! Instead I had to spend half the lesson “shushing” them and reminding them to pay attention.
And right in the middle of one of those moments, God whispered to my frustrated heart, Don’t you do the same thing to Me?
It stopped me in my tracks. Of course not, God. I tried to protest the same way my students would when they were caught red-handed.
But I couldn’t come up with an excuse, because He was right. So often when God gently shows me the way I should go, I’m so distracted with my different “fidget spinners” (teachers, you know it’s true), that I miss everything He says. Then suddenly I’m face to face with a giant in my path, looking up and screaming, God, what am I supposed to do? I’m so confident that I’ve got this, but before I know it I’m face down on the floor and tearfully wondering where I went wrong.
If you would’ve just listened to Me the first time…
I act just like my students. I picture God as my teacher and me sitting in His classroom, more often than not daydreaming and missing all of His precious advice. I wondered how He could still love me so much that He’d be willing to just keep picking me up time after time, and once again repeat His directions.
But it was on the last day of school as my students crowded around me for hugs that I understood. I could repeat instructions a hundred times until I got so frustrated I felt like giving up . . . but I never stopped caring about my students. It was this unexplainable love that no matter what they did, no matter how bad they acted, they couldn’t take it away. And I had only known them for nine weeks!
Can you even imagine how strong the love of God must be?
He thought of me before I was born and has been with me every step since then. When I was listening to Him, and when I wasn’t. The times I was walking beside Him, and the times when my face was on the floor.
As I said goodbye to my students, there was a soft whisper to my soul, This is how much I love you, My child. No matter what you do, you can’t make it go away.
How thankful I am for His kind of Love.
Leave a Comment
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
MacKenzie,
I’m so thankful that God has broad shoulders. He can handle my indifference, my doubts, fears, and even my flat out anger. Nothing I can do will make Him love me any more or any less. When I am saved, He only sees me through the cleansing blood of His Son, Jesus Christ…. as perfect. That one is hard to wrap my tiny brain around. And, no matter how far I run or how many detours from His will that I take, He follows me and furiously pursues me with His love. Isn’t it great to know we can’t make His love go away? What a beautiful story that reflects this Truth!
Blessings,
Bev xx
MacKenzie Morganthal says
Bev,
Thank you for your comment! It’s so wonderful to think about how God’s love is not based on what we do, but on who He is. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Blessings,
MacKenzie
Isabella Morganthal says
Wonderful job, Kenzie! Your words speak truth and wisdom in a beautifully written way! Love you, sis <3 So proud of you for the ways you show Jesus!
MacKenzie Morganthal says
Thank you, Bella! xoxo
Raechel L. says
This is such a beautiful post, with so much encouragement. Oh how He loves us indeed! <3
MacKenzie Morganthal says
Amen. Thank you, Rae!
Michele Morin says
This is so great! I’m smiling (and cringing just a bit) because there’s been NOTHING in my life that has revealed my own stubborn heart to me more than parenting a quartet of stubborn boys.
MacKenzie Morganthal says
I can imagine! Thank you for your comment, Michele, and I’m glad you enjoyed my story.
Jeannie says
As a retired public school teacher who taught for thirty years, I can affirm all that you are saying. And all that you are not. The Love of Jesus is the most powerful force on earth. Keep battling….we’ll be cheering you on.
MacKenzie Morganthal says
Jeannie, I’m glad to hear my story was relatable for you. Thank you for your encouraging comment!
Janie McReynolds says
Thank you MacKenzie! I loved this message and I can completely relate to it. I am not a teacher but I one that has found myself right where you were many times. I have been on an awesome adventure with the Lord, one that keeps me out of my boat of comfort continually. He is teaching me to Trust Him above all! Why is that such a hard lesson? He is the King most high. I love that He gets all that and that He continues to wait patiently for me to look up and remember that He has this and I can rest knowing He has gone before me and He Will continue to prepare the way. In my weakness He is strong. Love that. Thank you again for sharing your heart and sweet message today!
MacKenzie Morganthal says
Janie, so thankful that my words were an encouragement to you! I hear you. Trusting Him should be the easiest thing we do, yet I still find myself with questions at times, even when I know He knows best. But how comforting that He’s so patient with us. I’m glad that we can share this journey together! Thank you for your sweet comment!
Joan Munro says
Dear MacKenzie, As a teacher, parent and volunteer at church (with the little ones), I get it, I get it, I get it! But what I grasp even more is How Far and Deep and Wide the Father’s love for us is! He is patient, continually calling us to “Be still and know that I Am God.” In stead of talking and teaching, I’m realuzing I need to listenand learn from the One who is the source of all knowledge and wisdom. He lovingly waits, because He created us and knew us even before we were born. (Talk about a science project!). Psalm 137
May our Gracious Lord and Savior bless you as you “turn your eyes upon Jesus”.
MacKenzie Morganthal says
Joan, amen, how true that is! Thank you for such an encouraging comment!
Courtney says
Often I have to learn things the hard way xP But praise Jesus for His amazing, unconditional love!
MacKenzie Morganthal says
Agreed! Thanks, Courtney!
Kristen says
This is SO true!
I loved reading it! Thank you Kenzie!!
MacKenzie Morganthal says
So glad my words were an encouragement to you, Kristen. Thanks for commenting!
Chloe says
Wow! How beautiful is HIS Love! Thank you for sharing!
MacKenzie Morganthal says
Indeed! Thanks, Chloe!
Kaitlyn R. says
Thank you so much for sharing this, MacKenzie! I’ve often had some of the same thoughts when I’ve babysat children. I’ll be feeling frustrated that they won’t listen and then God reminds me that I’m often the distracted, disobedient child. 🙂 So thankful for the lessons God teaches us!
MacKenzie Morganthal says
Amen, He is such a patient teacher. 🙂 Thanks for your comment, Kaitlyn!
Shelby says
Wonderful article Kenzie! And very timely as it goes along with what I already was meditating on this moning- to quote the passage I read, Psalm 103 “For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.” His love and mercy for us is endless. Amen.
MacKenzie Morganthal says
How wonderful that God timed this just right for you! Thanks so much, Shelby!
Beth says
Wow!!! This was soo encouraging, Kenzie!!! Beautiful story!!! Thanks so much for sharing!!! Great job!! His Love His Amazing for us!!!
MacKenzie Morganthal says
I’m thankful God used my words to encourage you today, Beth! Thanks for commenting 🙂
Rebecca L Jones says
This is a beautiful post, God runs toward the prodigal. None of us want to believe we are like that but sometimes He has to chase us down to bless us. And though I’m not actually a teacher, nothing is worse and an already distracted child with ADHD and a fidget spinner, distraction and destruction go hand in hand.
MacKenzie Morganthal says
How true, and how thankful I am that He keeps chasing me down. Thank you for your comment, Rebecca!
Nancy Ruegg says
I’m another teacher (26-year veteran, now retired) who can verify the frustration of working with wiggly, non-attentive, easily distracted students. And yet every year I grew to love them, to care greatly about their progress and welfare. Then, I must also admit to my own tendency of being a non-attentive and easily distracted disciple in God’s class of instruction. Praise God he, too, continues to love me and care about my progress and welfare. Thank you, MacKenzie, for drawing us back to the core truth: God truly loves us with a love that will never fail.
MacKenzie Morganthal says
So glad this is something that you, too, could relate to, Nancy! Thank you for your comment!
Grace F. says
So true, Kenzie! I work with kids in an afterschool Bible program during the school year and the struggle of getting them to listen the first time definitely is real! 😉 But it is a great reminder for us that we can be the same way a lot of times with God. Thank you for sharing your heart on this.
MacKenzie Morganthal says
So true. Thank you for your comment, Grace! 🙂
Beth Williams says
Mackenzie,
I am amazed and awed at God’s love for us. Even on our worst days when we screw up really bad-He is there waiting patiently for our apologies. I often cringe when I think that He, innocent, died a most horrible death for little ol’ me! Why all this love? I am super thankful for His passion to pursue us no matter how far we drift away. Nothing absolutely nothing we do or say can take His love away from us!! Praise God!
Blessings 🙂
MacKenzie Morganthal says
Amen. What an encouraging comment, Beth! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Olivia Bell (aka Livy) says
Wow, Kenzie I am so proud of you getting published here, this is amazing! Your article was so true and so thought provoking, I am so glad you had a great time and learning experience during your teaching time! 😀
MacKenzie Morganthal says
Livy, your comment was a joy to read! Thank you 🙂