About the Author

Holley Gerth is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, counselor, and life coach. Her newest release is The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You. She's also wife to Mark, Mom to Lovelle, and Nana to Eula and Clem.

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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. If Peter could misunderstand Jesus’ methods and motives from his front row seat, how careful we must be as we read and interpret the words and the works of Christ! Thanks, Holly, for sharing your midnight musings and for encouraging us to use our ears and our hearts before we draw our swords.

  2. Holley,
    Gentleness is strength under control….love this! I have been accused of being meek and timid. I suppose in a world that values strong, and bold, and loud, I am. Not that I can’t be self righteous or my tongue doesn’t lash out, but I do pray for God’s strength to keep it under control. If you throw out a punch, people can punch back, but what if you throw out love? What can they throw back at you? Joining with you in wanting to be a heart-healer, difference-maker, chain-breaker. I pray that my sword will be kindness, gentleness, and love. Love truly is the most powerful weapon we have. Wonderful post and can’t wait to read your book.
    Bev xx

  3. Oh, Holley, I needed to hear this message this morning! Thank you so much. I, too, battle with being a people pleaser, and, instead of doing that, I long to love and treat people the way The Lord does. It’s not easy, but it’s so worth it.

    Blessings on you!

    In His Grip,

  4. Miss Holley,

    I am in a season of learning to pray and give it to God rather than act off of my emotions… oh how hard it is to not become “defensive” though it is most comforting to know that if I am serving my God that’s all that matters. I have never been a big fan of the whole conflict thing… and, at times, I feel as though I am curling into myself because of it. Thank you for encouraging me that it is okay to be quiet and gentle and that “it is strength under control.” Thank God that I don’t have to be strong and that He is there to be strong for me. (Philippians 4: 13) I pray that I use my “sword” wisely and that rather than “nice” I strive to be kind. What wise words you have shared with us tonight… I know they will touch many hearts as they have mine. Thank you. I pray you and your beautiful family have a blessed day Miss Holley.

    This side of Heaven,
    Summer Rae

  5. Such a wonderful point about what ear-slashing does and our current versions of it. Thank you for drawing out the truth of our tendencies and our Jesus’ weapon for good.

  6. “Being kind is not the same as being “nice.” Niceness is about pleasing people; kindness is about choosing to treat others as creations of God, whether they deserve it or not.” This. Powerful words and powerful actions. I’m excited to read your book & be on the launch team! I love the fierce hearted theme for we women at this time in history;)

  7. Thank you for your words of wisdom! Thank you for the reminder to choose kindness and treat others as a creation of the Lord. I need to remember that He is faithful and will always be with me.

  8. I wrote a blog very similar to this called Daughter of the King. No one read it and I stressed about putting something out there that sounded negative. I took an approach from an interaction with a friend that happened in the past. One that I learned from in a very difficult way. So I thought that it got passed up because I was not speaking truth. This encourages me that I was on the right track. I will leave that blog there and hope that truth will makes it’s way to someone at some point. Sometimes our first responses, like Peter’s, end up being less than helpful or making things worse. This was an encouragement. Thank you.

  9. Thanks so much, Holley, for your words and thoughts. It’s always a good thing when someone says something that sends me to God’s Word. This time, it was to Ephesians where He talks through Paul about what His armor looks like. Ephesians 6:10-18New International Version (NIV)

    The Armor of God
    10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

    18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ” I so need to read this much more often. And to remember that if God is for us, who can be against us. He is in control; He has won the ultimate battle defeating sin, death and Satan; and there’s no need to fear. I often think of all the times he tells us to “fear not” in His Word. Does He know us, or what? I love what you’re doing here and I look forward to all that’s to come. <3

  10. I have a sister that intentionally excludes me from family things she plans. She has done it for years. She is 7 years older than me and always makes excuses. Always lies that I later find out about. For years, I never called her out on them as long as our mom was alive because I did not want to cause a rift in the family. I am the youngest of 5 girls and would see her at other events and make nice with her and always invite her to my my home. Now that mom is gone she is escalating her lies, having more girl time, slumber parties, etc and making sure I find out! She reiki them I’m out of town, not interested, always says she asked, etc. When my sister that who is closest asked the last time. I told her the truth. Told her I was home and was not invited. Told her I forgave my sister but that it did hurt! She said she wasn’t sure, said maybe she just got ciponfused about the time! Do I confront or or jus let it go and let her continue to walk on me? She has been doing it for years. I forgive and pray for her and know that she just ignores me most of the time, and has most of her life. We are now older and there are just 3 of us left. would like to spend time with my last2 sisters but she is making it impossible. Any thoughts. Been praying for her.

    • Dear Lind. I too have an older sister who always knows better than me or my other 5 siblings. I’m # 2 and she is 3 years older. She controls all of our relationships that we 7 have but since our mom became very ill 7 months ago we are on top of her lies. Sad thing is.. I love her and she wants to love me but Jesus is in her way. She prefers the same life we strive to leave as ignorant unsaved people. I’m praying for all my sibs to know the love of God and be transformed as we are! God’s call involves us to transform by the renewing of your mind.. bring every thought captive to Christ. Even tho we don’t understand, we trust the Lord in all things..I will think on what is true,noble,just,pure, lovely… whatever things of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy ~ meditate on these things..Phillipians 4:8
      Don’t give up.. now I just call my other sisters and share life with them .. all separately and trusting God in every phone call. Blessings and peace to you!

  11. Hi Holley,
    I definitely needed this today. I have always struggled with forgiving very nasty people. I’ve read other Christian blogs and chapters in books lately, regarding this very matter. God is obviously trying to tell me something! So I’m trying to forgive those from my past so that I can be that kinder person in all that I do. Thankfully, God extends his grace to us as we continue growing in Christ.
    Also, congratulations on the birth of your granddaughter!! You must be soooo excited! And, the up-coming launch of your book!

    Blessings, Sandy

    To Lind,
    I will pray for your relationship with your sisters. Shalom, Sandy

  12. Holley,

    You have such a way with words. “We swing the sword of our words in defense of what we believe is right but there are unintended consequences.” Reminds me of the book of James which talks about taming the tongue. We can speak kind, soothing words or we can lash out like fire & burn people. We should starting fighting fire with love. Throw out God’s love to everyone & how can they react? Let’s be brave & strong fighting like Jesus did.

    Blessings 🙂

  13. You are so right, Holley: True gentleness is tough as nails. It DOES take toughness to exercise the self-control necessary to be gentle in stressful, hurtful situations. With you I want to fight like Jesus!