I didn’t know that I was hiding. I’ve always been good at praying.
Or so I thought.
My daddy left when I was seven. I’ve always looked to God as my Father, my provider. I didn’t realize God wanted to be more than just my provider.
God longed to be my soul’s confidante. Deep where I felt lonely — where I struggled to receive and make space for me — God wanted me to rest as His beloved.
Because at the end of the day, even though I had accomplished a lot, I didn’t feel like I had fully lived. Because what I really wanted, I didn’t make space for: peace and joy. I did not nurture my soul with God.
I found it easier to take care of others and get things done for God, rather than be vulnerable with my needs.
But God showed me prayer is an intimate soul conversation to be loved and known, rather than a spiritual transaction to be made better.
Praying touches the part of me that is in process, uncertain, full of questions and doubts.
That is why praying is hard to do. And when I didn’t know how to pray, it made me feel ashamed.
Jesus understands and whispers –
Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)
Although this is Scripture, in our Christian culture, our desert prayer times are often met with well-meaning encouragement like, “Relationship with God isn’t a feeling.”
Although partially true, this can de-humanize our connection with God. The psalmist reminds us there are no easy answers.
He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. (Psalm 103:14)
Sometimes, it takes more faith to tell God we don’t know how to pray — rather than praying for faith to pray like we used to.
This is how I began to discover God’s “whispers of rest“ – powerful Scriptures affirming God’s love for me and learning about soul care: practical ways to feel God’s peace and presence!
I started learning how to love myself the way God loves me. I began researching ways to spark joy and take simple actions to prioritize my well-being, which I wrote about in Whispers of Rest, a book that has just released.
To my delight, I uncovered many soulful ways to pray even when I felt too stressed to know how. Here are five:
5 Ways To Pray When You’re Too Stressed To Know How
1. When you’re overwhelmed, whisper His name.
Remember receiving a first love note? It didn’t have to be long. Yet your heart felt known seeing your handwritten name. It kept you company in the daily grind. Whisper His name and listen for His echoes return in the quiet. God names the stars and He whispers your name.
“He heals the broken hearted . . . He counts the number of the stars; He gives names to all of them.” (Psalm 147:3-5)
2. When you don’t have words to pray, rest knowing Jesus is praying for you.
Your silence will not drive Jesus away. Nothing can separate you from His love. Not even your unrest. He’ll never get tired of you. Sometimes, the greatest prayer we can experience is God’s complete understanding and compassion. His presence.
“Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died . . . is also interceding for us.” (Romans 8:34)
3. When you are too stressed to pray, take care of you.
We are a generation who doesn’t know how to express our souls to God, even though we drive ourselves exhausted, doing for Jesus.
Chronic overloading is not a spiritual prerequisite for authentic Christianity. Quite the contrary, overloading is often what we do when we forget who God is. — Richard Swenson.
Extend yourself the kindness and comfort you generously give others. Ironically, the times we most need God’s comfort are the times we deprive ourselves of soul-nurturing time.
We feel selfish. Yet, God says, we can only comfort others, with the comfort we first receive ourselves. (See 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Instead of layering on guilt, let God love you through your choices to prioritize taking care of you.
4. When you feel numb and don’t want to pray, invite Jesus into your world.
Instead of struggling to reach Jesus, invite Jesus to enter your world. Research in a NY Times article shows the power of writing your personal story can lead to behavioral changes and improve happiness. Even 15 minutes of expressive writing makes a difference.
When we journal our stories with God, we give Him space to re-write our stories with us. Don’t you get ah-ha moments as you write?
“For the word of God is living and active . . . piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit . . .” (Hebrews 4:11–12)
“Word” is the Greek word logos, which translates as living voice. God is not limited to the written word. God uses everything living to speak into our lives. This includes journaling.
5. When you’re too exhausted to pray, stop and rest.
“Arise, eat, because the journey is too great for you.” (1 Kings 19:7)
Elijah had done everything he knew to do—even defeating the prophets of Baal. Yet, his problems did not go away. Stress broke Elijah’s spirit. In despair, Elijah woke up to find fresh bread baking on hot stones and water—left just for him.
Not only that. God sent an angel—to touch him—twice.
God knew Elijah needed physical rejuvenation first in order to hear His gentle voice, whispering in a gentle breeze.
So, when you find it’s hard to pray, don’t be afraid. You’re standing at the very cusp of who God longs to connect with. The real you.
Take the time to rest. You’re worth it! Just rest.
Pull up a chair: What helps you experience God’s peace and presence when you feel to stressed too pray?
By Bonnie Gray, author of the new 40-day devotional detox Whispers of Rest: 40 Days of God’s Love to Revlitalize Your Soul. She invites you to refresh your soul with God’s love at TheBonnieGray.com.
Michele Morin says
This is so good, Bonnie, because so often we come to prayer as if God expects something of us, when prayer is THE gift. I’m trying to be more mindful of the presence of God, to pause at the beginning of prayer to just be aware that there is a Person listening and surrounding me with His love.
Thanks for thoughts both practical and uplifting!
Bonnie Gray says
Sweet Michele, what a beautiful heart you have for God – your very desire for God is a sweet prayer, rising to touch God’s heart, as He draws you into his embrace. May you feel that desire grow as you’ve expressed it so beautifully here! thank you for sharing and I hope you enjoy his Whispers of Rest today!
Nancy Ruegg says
Thank you, Michele, for pointing out that prayer is THE gift, as we become mindful of the presence of almighty God and his attentive love. An enlightening perspective!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Bonnie,
I so needed this. After a night of fitful sleep dreaming of the things that are weighing heavily on my mind, I woke up just wanting to say, “Jesus”. I agree that just whispering His name or calling His name through tears, brings us into the intimate soul conversation that you spoke of. Starting with the name of Jesus acknowledges that He is near (always near). And, rest….giving myself a break from churning, and striving, and trying to figure it out on my own. That only serves to stress me out more. When I feel so stressed, that is my red flag that like you said, He is calling me to rest in Him. Cast my anxieties on Him and let Him take them and carry them while I figuratively (and often literally) lie down. There is something about going from an upright position to a prostrate or horizontal position that says, “I give it over to you, Lord.” Self care, that you mentioned, is something that most of us attach guilt to – like taking care of ourselves is somehow unChristian… I’m learning, albeit slowly, to make self care a priority so that I may be more at peace and able to enjoy God’s presence. And, isn’t that what He wants from us after all – our presence with Him….our heart? Absolutely beautiful and much needed this am.!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Bonnie Gray says
Dear Bev, what beautiful thoughts you have and how self-aware of what God’s sharing with you about self-care and prayer. May you enjoy God’s Whispers of Rest as you continue to experience Him throughout the day!
Esther | Chosen & Cherished says
Amen, Bonnie! What a beautiful post. So often, it’s when we want to pray the least that we need to pray the most. There have been times when my tears have said what my words could not, knowing the Holy Spirit prays the unspoken groans of the heart. Jesus said, “Come away with me to a quiet place and get some rest.” Just finding a quiet place provides an avenue into His presence, a way to receive His rest. I can’t wait to get my hands on your book – it looks amazing!
Blessings!
Bonnie Gray says
Sweet Esther, I LOVE the name of your blog – Chosen and Cherished!! What a beautiful name God has whispered to you! I have a feeling we’re kindred spirits and I cannot wait to hear all you’ll discover, as you read Whispers of Rest! You are going to LOVE IT!! 🙂 Remember to sign up for free bonus gifts at whispersofrest.com – Free 6 Video Series Book Study + 6 Free Prayer Podcasts + Coloring Pages as companions to enrich your 40 day journey of rest as the Beloved! love, bonnie
Kathy says
Bonnie, thank you. For all of this. You had me at “God longed to be my souls confidante. Deep where I felt lonely….”. Right there I began to pool. This year I have been in the hard. The deep trenches. The valley of shadows that King David writes about. And, although I thought my faith was strong, I have had too many days, too many moments, of having no idea what to pray or how too. I have felt very alone. But you are right. Saying His name and inviting Him into my space makes so much sense. Thank you for sharing your new found wisdom. Even though you’re far far away from me (I live in Michigan), your words are the ones I so needed to read, process (I read your blog post twice already), and, yes, pray through. Thank you!
Charlotte S says
Kathy, I agree wholeheartedly. This post has blessed and refocused me. I’m sharing it with family members – we are also going through valley times. Bonnie, thank you for sharing your insights here.. it is so good to be reminded that Jesus is especially available when life is uncertain and exhausting.
Bonnie Gray says
Thank you, Sweet Charlotte (I love the sound of your name, btw)! Thank you for sharing how God’s touching your heart as you read – and for sharing the encouragement with your family. May you feel His Whispers of Rest surrounding you today, again and again. Dear Jesus, continue to speak to Charlotte and whisper your words of love for her. Reassure her and her family as they go through valley times. That you don’t need her to do more or be more – you simply love her and understand how tired she is. Wrap your arms around her and bring her into your embrace today. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Kathy says
Charlotte, I am saying a special prayer for you and your family today. Bonnie is right, our Father God is with us, around us, and loves conversation with us. We need only to breath His name.
Beth Williams says
Charlotte,
Praying for you and your family now. May God get you all through the valleys with a sense of peace & comfort. Just whisper His name & He will take care of you!
(((((Hugs)))))
Bonnie Gray says
Sweet Kathy, we are kindred spirits and I’m so touched to hear your journey and how God is whispering touching your heart this morning. Words of the heart bring us close, don’t they? (I’m waving hello to you from CA) This is a very beautiful time in your journey, as your heart is open and desiring intimacy – to be His beloved. I think you’ll love my book Whispers of Rest, as wonderful soul care with God’s love. If you feel inspired to take this book into your hands and heart, remember to sign up for free bonus gifts at whispersofrest.com – Free 6 Video Series Book Study + 6 Free Prayer Podcasts + Coloring Pages as companions to enrich your 40 day journey of rest as the Beloved! I poured out all the gentle love notes from God that I received to share them with friends, like you. love, bonnie
Bonnie Gray says
Dear Jesus, I want to lift up Kathy, my sweet sister. Reassure her of your nearness and touch her in a special way today, in a way that only you know how to do. Because you know how to reach her where she’s longing for your touch. Reassure her of your continual gaze of love and tenderness for her. Draw her into your embrace, and hold her close to your heartbeat for her. Thank you for the desire she’s expressed so beautifully here – for her desire is a beautiful prayer, rising like a fire kindled and treasured in your very heart. Thank you for Kathy. In your name, Amen.
Kathy says
Bonnie, thank you for this. I read your prayer on my way home from multiple doctors appointments yesterday, and when I walked in the back door of my home there were flowers sitting there from a dear Aunt of mine (who also lives far far away, SC), and I was brimming again, because I knew in that moment that my Jesus was whispering that He was already in my space! It was His way of saying to me that He had heard the prayers of so many, for me, and that He was there. That He was always going to be there. And when I could not pray, or did not know the words to pray, He still is hearing all those who are praying for me. And I felt, oh so cradled. Bonnie, though you did not know it, you were a part of that spiritual turning for me yesterday, and I just want to say thank you. You have been in my quiet prayers this morning.
Beth Williams says
Kathy,
Lifting you up in prayers. May He bring comfort to your soul, mind & spirit. I pray you feel His touch on your heart.
God hear Kathy’s prayers and bring peace & soul rest to her heart, mind & soul!
(((((hugs)))))
Rae says
Thank you, Bonnie! I needed this message this morning! God bless…
Bonnie Gray says
Sweet Rae, how wonderful to spend together in the quiet. May you feel as beloved and beautiful as you truly are. love, bonnie
Theresa says
Thank you!
Bonnie Gray says
Thanks, Theresa! May you feel as beloved and beautiful as you truly are. love, bonnie
Lillian says
The Grace of God be with you, Bonnie!
Bonnie Gray says
Sweet Rae, what wonderful words of blessing! thank you! May you feel as beloved and beautiful as you truly are. love, bonnie
Eunice B says
Thank you, Bonnie, for sharing your heart so beautifully and reminded me that God has not moved…when He feels far away, it’s because I’ve done the moving away!
Bonnie Gray says
Dear Eunice, and even if we have moved away, Jesus leaves the 99 sheep, to find the *one* He loves and carries the *one* in his arms. May you feel as beloved and beautiful as you truly are! love, bonnie
Elizabeth says
Thank you, Bonnie – and all of you, who have commented.
Such a great start to my day.
Bonnie Gray says
Sweet Elizabeth, how wonderful to spend together in the quiet – with our sisters together and in His loving presence. May you feel as beloved and beautiful as you truly are! thanks for sharing this morning. love, bonnie
Lara says
Bonnie, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This post was the balm I needed for my soul this morning. I’m knee deep in a season of unemployment, wondering what The Lord has planned for me. To be honest, I haven’t known what to pray or how to start. After I hit “submit” to my comment, I’m going to get on my knees and just whisper His name, “Jesus.”
Thank you, friend!
Lara
Bonnie Gray says
Sweet Lara, I’m imagining how sweet that time was between you and God — as you knelt and leaned into His loving arms, as Jesus kneels to pray for you and me. Dear Jesus, I pray for Lara. She’s in a tough time right now with unemployment. And you know how scary the feels looking into the future with uncertainty. Reassure her of your faithful presence, that you will never leave or forsake her. Open a door for her – make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the dessert – make a way for her. You always do. So, we’re trusting you to do that for Lara, even though we can’t see. You see Lara. You love Lara. You whisper her name. and your holding her right now. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Pearl Allard says
Bonnie, I appreciate this! Your book sounds amazing, too. I am learning about rest and the vulnerability it requires. Thank you for this post!
Bonnie Gray says
Sweet Pearl, I’m so glad the words touched your heart! Sounds like we’re kindred spirits! 🙂 I think you’ll love my book Whispers of Rest, as a gentle 40 day invitation to rest and experience vulnerability and intimacy. If you feel inspired to take this book into your hands and heart, remember to sign up for free bonus gifts at whispersofrest.com – Free 6 Video Series Book Study + 6 Free Prayer Podcasts + Coloring Pages as companions to rest as the Beloved! I poured out all the gentle love notes from God that I received to share them with friends, like you. love, bonnie
Brenda says
Beautiful, Bonnie. Thank you.
Bonnie Gray says
Sweet Brenda, how wonderful to spend some time together in the quiet. May you feel as beloved and beautiful as you truly are! thanks for sharing this morning. love, bonnie
Dorcas Collado says
Thanks for this post! Good points your 5 Prayer RulesYour book sounds amazing. I’ll try to get it soon.
Bonnie Gray says
Thanks, Dorcas! I’m so happy the 5 Prayer Tips blessed you! If you feel inspired to take this book into your hands and heart, remember to sign up for free bonus gifts at whispersofrest.com – Free 6 Video Series Book Study + 6 Free Prayer Podcasts + Coloring Pages as companions to the 40day journey of rest as the Beloved! I poured out all the gentle love notes from God that I received to share them with friends, like you. love, bonnie
Gail Noe says
Thank you, Bonnie! Just perfect. Today is my birthday and I was thinking what do I want to do today. BUT I just kept getting rest in Him, declare His Name, declare Who He is and the marvelous things He has done for ME!!!!! What an amazing God and FATHER!!!!!
Bonnie Gray says
Happy Birthday, Gail!!! What a special treat for me to share the encouragement that has blessed me – with you – on such a special day! thank you God for how you’re celebrating Gail this morning with your Whispers of Rest!
Melissa says
Hello Bonnie,
Your message for today reminds me to just bask in the Lord within my Spirit and within my humanity instead of making my relationship with Christ a ritual with traditional form and fashion. In the Spirit, there is liberty. Your post also reminds me of the freedom that is found in prayer whatever form or fashion the time with the Lord is shaped.
Bonnie Gray says
Sweet Melissa, wow, what a beautiful way you have with words!
“to just bask in the Lord within my Spirit and within my humanity instead of making my relationship with Christ a ritual with traditional form and fashion. ”
I can tell God speaks to you through your writing… May you feel as beloved and beautiful as you truly are — and may His Whispers of Rest surround you today! love, bonnie
Jacque says
This is just what I needed to read when I woke up! Thank you so much for this. Too many times I allow myself to just be too stressed, or too busy to pray. But in reality, I honestly don’t know how to pray. Again, thank you for this!
Penny says
Bonnie,
Your words always bring me a sense of peace, not only by their tone, but also by their message. I sincerely thank you…
Have a blessed day all,
Penny
Rebecca L Jones says
Hi Bonnie, I was so tired yesterday, I told Jesus I wasn’t talking to Him, I was just thanking Him, and went to sleep. I pray a lot. I have been praying for a lot of people. I don’t think anyone really understands how sweet Jesus is. He knows us and I’m glad the Holy Spirit helps us to pray. I let way too much still get to me even though I know He has it covered. I ordered your book, I’m looking forward to reading it.
MK says
When I am too stressed to pray I imagine myself held as a baby in Jesus’ arms. He rocks me and comforts me the way I used to comfort my children when they were babies. I can’t put in words the peace and comfort that fills my soul. Such a loving comforting Abba Father.
Ellen says
When I feel that the stress of my life has taken so much out of me that I can’t even begin to pray, I reach for my rosary. Holding it in my hand, feeling the beads move across my fingers brings a peace to me. My rosary is my connection to Mary and thru her, I believe that she speaks to Jesus for me. At that moment, I know that Jesus is praying for me along with the added prayers of His mother, Mary and I am at rest.
Beth Williams says
Bonnie,
Thank you for a great inspiring post. Life got super stressful a few years ago. I couldn’t quiet my soul to pray.. I just sat down & cried out Jesus help me. I literally put all my anxieties on Him & let go. He gave me the spiritual white space I desperately needed. I was able to lie down & breathe once again. We all need to quiet our souls & just cry out to Jesus. He will answer your prayers & bring rest to a weary soul!
Blessings 🙂
Nancy Ruegg says
I’m so glad you affirmed that just saying the name of Jesus is a form of prayer. And your statement, Bonnie, “Whisper his name and listen for the echoes” speaks great truth. I’m thinking of his names, Shepherd, Immanuel, Light of life, Lord of peace, and more–each one offering great encouragement when stresses mount. There IS power in the name of Jesus!
K Ann Guinn says
I just finished reading this for the second time this morning, and it is spot on. Thank-you for your encouragement for us to rest in God’s love, come before him in honestly, and take care of ourselves. You are so right. We feel that self-care is selfish, yet I’ve also heard it compared to putting on an oxygen mask in an airplane (first; enabling you to then have the strength to help others).
I think that as women we especially struggle with this, as our God-given nurturing naturally kicks in for others, sometimes to the point of exhaustion. But I also am learning that I must care for myself before I can truly be all that I need to be.
There may be seasons in which we need to work hard, get up at night, and sacrifice to care for another, but they can only be seasons. Then we need to step back and receive help, love and care from others.
My desire is to spend this kind of quality time with God each day, even on the busy ones, and even if it doesn’t always look like traditional “devotions”. May God help us to rest in his love.
Ms. Boo says
I love this!