It’s been a decade since Andrew told me, but I’ll never forget the words that spilled out of my little boys heart so effortlessly. Words that changed the way I pressured myself into believing I had to be the perfect mom.
Driving through carpool line, Andrew held his bag of Valentine treats and asked when they’d be passing them out in class. Code for: Do I have to I wait ALL DAY to stuff excessive amounts of candy in my mouth or will the teacher let us eat all the chocolate we want during morning snack time?
He didn’t care that his treats weren’t decorated with cool cartoon characters and hearts, or any Valentine Day indications at all. But I did!
The night before, Andrew reminded me he needed treats to give his classmates the next day, and I had none. After I got our boys to bed, I ran to Target where the Valentines aisle looked like a bomb had exploded. Mismatched candy and gifts everywhere. No appropriate elementary school cards or treats to be found.
Humiliated, I grabbed a few packs of mini Kit-Kat bars and decided my poor child could write, “From Andrew” with a Sharpie on the back of each treat. I would apologize profusely and promise to never forget again.
The next morning as we drove to school, I wondered if I could make up my for my mom-fail with a big Valentines Day surprise when Andrew got home from school. I knew it could mean another trip back to Target, but instead of assuming I knew what he’d want, I asked “Andrew, what makes you feel loved?”
He thought for a minute and then he said, “THIS.”
“This?” I asked.
“Yeah. This. You being with me. You driving me to school and talking to me about my day. You telling me you’ll be there when I get home. That makes me feel loved and secure. Thanks mom. I love you, bye!”
And he hopped out of the car.
This is love?
You mean, I don’t have to work myself into a tizzy shopping for a toy that will convince my child I don’t forget him, even when I forget important things to him?
I can just be here for him and that will be love. Even though I was a grouchy mom the day before, so much that Andrew asked if I was mad about something, more than once.
This is still love?
I stopped to wonder if God were to ask me what makes me feel loved, what would I say? I thought how true Andrew’s words are:
This is love.
- A promise that is kept.
- A place that is certain.
- Someone being there
- Love being present again and again
Because of my son’s simple child-like heart, I saw what love is.
“Lord, this is love. You asking and caring. You being there. You keeping Your promises like You said you would. This is love. This makes me feel secure.”
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them . . . . There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect [complete] in love. We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:16-19)
We are loved. We don’t have to wait for God to show it. He already has.
He promised He’d always be there for us and He is. He is present and listening. Asking and caring.
No matter what we are going through today, we can live and love from the overflow of being loved. We can know and rely on God’s promises and presence and be made complete in Him.
This is love.
Leave a Comment
Renee,
A promise kept…being there always….a secure place. This is God’s love. I have found, in this life, even some of the people who you think will never desert you or turn their back on you, will. That is because they are human. Even at it’s best, human love gives up, fails, deserts, hurts. falls short, But, God. But, God is so different. His love CAN be counted on to always be there, be faithful to all its promises, to be more than enough than will ever need. This is why I choose to build my life on His foundation – because it is secure. It will never falter and will never let go. What other love is like this? No matter how many times we screw up, He’s still there. He still goes the extra mile. Oh that I would give Him the praise and honor, and love He so deserves from me. Beautiful post and revelation through your son.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Such a sweet, unending, faithful affection we find in Him.
I know the Bible says that God is love and ,”He will never leave me nor forsake me,” but it does not feel this way, especially now. How do I know God so deeply that I can grasp this? I am a born again, saved Christian, but I need your prayers. Thanks.
Those are some of the darkest days….we’ve all been there. I have reached the end of me so many times in the last few months…But this blog – the daily devotionals from “(in)courage” – have spoken to me each day. The Scripture that our only-wise God has left for us has sustained me and sheltered me. Reading the sorrows and joys of other women, recognizing that we are in this together, rreading the promises that the writers share each day, reminds me that God is there for us, in the forms of other women, in the community of believers.
…..and deep, soul-searching prayer…..God makes His presence known ….
Tammy,
Echoing Jane’s thoughts – sometimes though I know I’m God’s child it just doesn’t “feel” like it. Feelings can lie and that’s when I have to rely on the facts that I know and be encouraged by other women who experience the ebb and flow of faith. Some days we feel strong and other days, so weak. Praying for you sweet sister. The fact that you care what God thinks shows that you love Him. He knows what you’re experiencing better than you do. Trust His heart toward you….He loves you!!!
Love and ((hugs)),
Bev
Tammy,
We don’t always feel God’s love. In my dark times I turn to Christian music and just listen to the lyrics. They speak volumes to me. It’s like God is right there talking to me. Praying you will feel His wonderful love for you!
(((((Hugs)))))
Being with my family & friends.
Thank you for sharing this, it’s exactly how my heart feels. I tend to be a simple thinker not because i don’t want to go deeper, but because i really don’t know how to dig deep into my heart to find the thoughts there. I wish i could i would come up with deep insightful thoughts like yours, i really don’t know why i can’t. I just hope God is still happy with me and my simple thoughts.
Dikki,
One of my best friends describes herself as a “simple thinker” and you know what….she is perfect for me to be around. To be quite honest, sometimes I think so hard and so deeply that my head hurts and I wish that I could just turn off my brain from thinking too much. My friend invites me to simply enjoy God’s beauty around me and His gifts too me and to not over think things too much and you know what – sometimes that’s one of the best gifts of life. God made you and loves you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!! If your thoughts are God honoring….then deep or simple they are a sweet and fragrant offering to Him!!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Dikki,
God loves you as you are!! He made you that way! Simple thinkers can enjoy the beauty around them and see God. They don’t have to analyze anything. They are the counter balance to deep thinkers. God is super crazy about you just they way you are!
(((Hugs)))
Thanks for the reminder that even when I feel like I can’t be love God still does.
This is beautiful, Renee. Thank you for sharing your story here today. ❤️
Thank you very much for this message it helps
Oh, Renee, this is so good — we love our kids so much that we want to do the big sweeping gestures when what they really need is just our steady presence in their corner, our hand on their shoulder, and our voice saying that they are enough. And now that I think of it, this is what our Heavenly Father is doing for us in our everyday, Target-shopping, sometimes-forgetful life.
Thanks for this wonderful story from your heart.
I was so surprised and comforted by his answer. And I love the way you put it, “what they really need is just our steady presence in their corner, our hand on their shoulder, and our voice saying that they are enough.”
So beautiful, my friend. What a great way to start my week!
Our kids teach us some of the most tender truths about our Father’ s love, don’t they?
it made me cry…this is the tender love….
Thank you, Renee!
This is love.
Out of the mouth of babes God has perfected praise…because they keep the simple things simple. Ahhh. Love. True love. How sweet your child’s knowledge of your love for him. And how sweet the Father’s love for us. Thank you so much for the reminder!
It was a such a sweet gift to my stumbling heart; to know I hadn’t failed at all. Grace. So much grace.
Thank you for this post…needed so much to hear this for my grandchildren, who have to go back and forth between two households. It’s so painful to watch some days. If my 7 year old grandson was asked I think he would say , ” these are the things I want, need and crave” over the weekend I was asking him and his 9 year old sis to say, ” I am brave, I am smart , I am strong and I AM LOVED.” All this after he repeatedly called himself stupid. I’m always telling them how much I love them, their parents and step parent love them, and that Jesus is always with them wherever they are and that they can call out to him whenever they are afraid. Thankfully both have accepted Jesus. . My heart breaks for so many families in this broken situation where the children are often just expected to adjust. I will share this post with my son and new wife, praying they will read it with an open heart. Thank you for sharing.
Praying for your heart that so tender loves and hurts for your little ones. Praying for healing and security during this hard season for them all. I was there as a child of divorce. Your stability, love and prayers are a gift to them.
Thank you ..I covet your prayers.
Love is being able to confide in a person something that has shame attached and knowing that it will be kept in confidence and that the person will not think less of you. Love is either being able to provide the basic necessities for one’s self or having someone who provides them for you. Love is being thanked for the small things like clean dishes and laundry. Love is knowing that God forgives us even if it seems man sometimes does not want to.
Yes, that is also love.
So tender and precious.
So thankful for God’s love and faithfulness! Praise Jesus we don’t have to be perfect, and maybe sometimes it’s easier to obey and love than we think. Renee, really appreciated this. Thank you!
❤ You are so welcome.
Thank you Renne, really needed this today! God is always faithful! God bless you and your sweet little boy! Xoxo ❤
So thankful Jesus timed this post to speak to your heart about his love for you Stephanie, just when He knew you’d need it. ❤
What precious words from your son…a sweet memory to treasure. I remember driving my son to school, talking and praying before dropping him off. We never know the impact of every day moments. Thanks for sharing.
What a relief to know that it is the little things, simply being steadfast and present, caring and listening, can make the biggest difference.
I see it now, so many years later, as my little boy who taught me about love is now away at college and still feels loved by me simply being present, listening, caring, asking, loving and cheering him on from home.
Beautiful reminder, Renee! Out of the mouth of babes, eh?
Amen, oh how our Father teaches us how to be His children through our own children’s words and perspectives.
I guess the saying is true that little things mean a lot. But God gave us such a great gift. How can we not know we are loved.
The story you told about your son illustrates this point about how God loves us so sweetly. I was encouraged by your words today, Renee. Thank you so much. You’re right. God loves us so much.
So grateful our story encouraged your hearts as much as it did mine.
I love how easy children make loving. Nothing complicated. We adults seem to want to complicate and question love.
Thank you for sharing. Acts of Service and quality time rate high for me. Gifts not so much.
Still working on the heart, that God loves me deeply. Head to heart can seem as far apart as the earth to the outer edges of God’s farthest galaxy.
ooh am so touched, children are so meek, sometimes they remind us of things we intend to forgot, its not the material things that matter in life, being there for them showing them love is all that matters. Love is the key word!!!!!…. and when its expressed even to the ne in distress it makes a big change in there lives.
Thanks for reminding us !!!….Rene
Thanks Renee! Today’s words brought tears to my eyes because I have been questioning if I’m doing things right – trying to be the perfect parent/guardian to an 8 year old. You will never know how much comfort your words brought me.
Inclusion. Being included in the family of God and the blood of Christ.
I really believe what you shared is true. I always thought that I could find true love in acceptance, in not being rejected, in doing everything I could to make things perfect, in working as hard as I could to make my dreams reality, but sometimes God allows, disappointment (he doesn’t cause it) to help us realize that all we have to do is look up in the sky feel the sunshine on our face. Feel the wind on our face, hear the whisper of The Holy Spirit say, “I’ve got this”, and then we start to realize that God is always there with open arms and His love for us never goes away! And He is who loves us unconditionally all the time.
I just got to read your post but oh how it touched my heart! And so timely! My daughter is a senior in high school and it’s been hard feeling like so much is going on & you want to do so much but simply being there, dropping her off at school, picking her up and getting her to work! Talking and sharing! Being able to share hopes, disappointments, prayers…this is love! Wow! Thank you Renee for sharing!!
“…live and love from the overflow of being loved.” Yes. This.
Renee,
Your son is absolutely spot on!! All we really need is someone in our corner-cheering us on. People are all about the huge go-all-out perfection & all most of us want is just you. I love it when my hubby spends uninterrupted time with me. I value his attention, hugs & kisses. Oh the other stuff is nice, but really just be yourself & be here! That is exactly what God does for us daily!
Blessings 🙂
Renee,
Thank you for this message. My life has been in such turmoil these last few years that I had to really stop and think of what makes me feel loved. I have to admit it took a while to come up with an answer. Love is peace and calm in my heart knowing that I am loved by God. Despite a lost job/career and having to start over and a devastating betrayal and pending divorce, God is alway there and accepts me for who I am. I’ve stumbled, fallen and honestly wanted to stay in bed with my woe is me negative thoughts. I cry why me, why this, why so much pain??? Yet God knows that I have a purpose and his gentle nudge, thoughts and prayers help me get through each day. I’m starting my live over at 50, yet God has shown me that I am worthy and has shown me that there is peace, hope and grace in my life and that the best is still to come. His love for me is all I need to be the best me, and for times like these that calms my soul and heart.
Kath
What a sweet story! Thank you for sharing. My son just turned 7 months and I have begun to record all that I have been learning about love, its amazing. I find his little outlook on life to be a powerful reminder and strong motivator to let go of my adult cynicism and failure to capture the moment. His joy at seeing me floods me with joy and love. Imagine God’s joy.