About the Author

Mary is a writer and speaker who lives for good books, spicy queso, and television marathons – but lives because of God’s grace. She writes about giving up on perfect and finding truth in unexpected places at MaryCarver.com. Mary and her husband live in Kansas City with their two daughters.

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Reader Interactions


  1. Mary,
    I had to chuckle reading this as I can often become like that concierge – thinking that everyone else (with the exception of me, of course) is “particularly stupid”! Just think how idiotic we must appear to God as we all go around thinking we’re right and everyone else took stupid pills that day?? I so needed this reminder – that if I can feel myself getting agitated, way up there on my high horse, then perhaps I am the one who needs a timeout or a time of reflection, on my knees, in gratitude for God’s never ending patience with me. God loves a humble and contrite heart – may I have one today…thanks Mary!!

  2. I love your perspective, Mary! I find myself writing about perspective quite a bit since it’s one of my biggest struggles and where I seem to need God’s help the most. Thanks for the reminder, laced with grace and humor! I needed it!

  3. Thank you for this great reminder! Hanging on to perspective, priorities, and empathy help we to work toward staying in balance (even if sometimes it feels like walking a balance beam on one foot). It also reminds me that when someone is on my last nerve, I ‘m probably on theirs. Blessings and prayers for a day of balance and contentment for us both.

    • Alice, I like your sense of humor. And the content of what you say is so applicable in my life &, I’m sure, in the lives of others, too. God bless you & those you connect with. We all need to have perspective in our lives, & set priorities to focus on. It reminds me of the childhood song: Jesus & Others & You, what a wonderful way to spell JOY! I especially like what you wrote about “when someone is on my last nerve, I’m probably on theirs. Thank you for sharing.

  4. This is so so opportune timing. I live in a similar way at times. Guilty as charged!
    God is so good to give you this thought to share with us, especially ME
    Thank God, He still loves, cares, and thinks about and for me in spite of…

  5. Grace given and received. Generously and lovingly, not earned but bestowed. In that I can revel and pass it on & give it back or to another. Drown out my singleminded lack of extending grace to others Lord, remind me to live in grace and be grace and know grace. Let me see the face of the One who loves me inside that grace. Let others see grace ( Jesus) through me I pray. Amen
    Thank you for this reminder today.

  6. I have had to refuse to engage in conversation at all on certain subjects this past year because I knew we would end up in stupid territory, and this is with people I normally would have no trouble discussing anything with. That’s just how volatile things have become. Seriously though, I think there is a spiritual battle going on and a warfare that we cannot even fathom. I pray every day for God to strengthen us His people to be the light we need to be.

  7. It’s so easy for us to get stuck in our one-sided views and forget to at least try to understand others’ views. Though we often like the idea of everyone “seeing it our way,” life would be really boring if we all thought the same! Great reminder especially right now with such an emotionally charged election. Thank you!

  8. Mary, thanks for your words. I smiled. Because my post today runs along a similar (not identical) vein. 🙂 When I get irritated over the little things people do? It’s time to give myself a timeout, in my room or walking in our neighborhood.. 🙂 A renewed perspective is important so we can be the lights God has created us to be.

    Thanks for the smile and the perspective reminder. 🙂

  9. I find myself shaking my head every day lately and wondering where stupid pills are being handed out. TV, radio, internet, overheard comments in the store. It’s everywhere! My tongue hurts from the bite marks I give it to keep from making my own comments. Such misinformation and hurtful backlash. I trust this is all in His control. I do. And I’m glad I don’t have to be in charge. Although… I quiet my heart and trust in His plan and pray for His return.

  10. Stupid is a word I use and it gets misunderstood. Most everyone who’s honest will admit they’ve done something stupid. Children are experts at it and grown ups have perfected it. No one everyone gets on each other’s nerves at times. Getting everyone to tone down the volume is challenge, we all need, quiet time. In the stillness, we hear the Lord. Sometimes, the air will just be thick and you have to leave that atmosphere just to breathe, words are powerful, choose them wisely.

  11. Oh Mary! I know what you mean! Traffic is where I lose my patience with people first. It is very helpful to remember I’m human too. And I’m sure there is someone on the road wondering, ” where Did this woman learn to drive??” Welcome to the human race!

  12. Yes, thanks for all the people who love me even when I am acting stupid and not my best. And here’s to time outs and a fresh perspective that sees people through God’s eyes.

  13. Thanks for the reminder Mary! I have been tempted so many times to “unfriend” a few of my Facebook friends over some particular political memes but I then take a breath and move forward. This is a democracy which allows us to have our own opinions, stupid or not..
    I keep reminding myself that ultimately God IS still very much in charge regardless who wins the presidency. Take good care!

  14. God knew I needed to read this today. Thanks for helping me put things back in perspective!

  15. Thank you for sharing this! It was something I really needed today! Thank you God for your grace and mercy!

  16. Great article! Actually just what I needed to read. In the last World Series game when the pitcher was in trouble the announcer commented about slowing things way down when they aren’t working. What better way than a timeout.

    God loves everyone. They are His beloved creation, but we only become His children when we are adopted through receiving Jesus.

    12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

    John 1:12-13 | NIV

  17. Mary,

    We could be twins. The last few years have been bad for me. I was anxious waiting to hear if the phone would ring & I had to run care for my aging dad. I was stressed to the max. I would come home & veg out in front of the TV. It got to the point I dreaded going to work & feared what would happen next. God allowed me a “huge” time out. I was able to quit my job and stay home for a little over a year. During that I relaxed, read the Bible more, prayed more fervently, listened to Christian music. It relieved some of my stress. My home was/is much calmer now.

    I still have days/weeks where I feel stressed some. I just take a personal time out and stay home. Leaving behind any stress. What seems to help me a lot is exercising. I love to walk or dance to Christian music.

    Blessings 🙂

  18. So needs this today, I’m currently 5 mths pregnant and everyone is getting on my nerves. People that are selfish, people that are so self absorbed, people that say hurtful things to one another, or are just acting plain silly. I definitely need a time out, more of some God-time to bring me back to normal. Thanks for this post!

  19. It has been about 5 years since I walked away from my marriage. And about one since my divorce. And I still am not over this. I really believe a person never gets over it. How can they ? There home is broken. Torn apart. Not the same. You wonder at times just how different your children would be if your home was not broken. Some children just never heal. How sad. The fact is I held in for a long time before walking away. I never wanted to. But had no choice. I am going forward. But it is not the same. Broken homes is something I never thought I would go through. It messes everything up in life. Because I feel we are off course in life. Something missing. And it is. Children do carry your pain. And it is sad to watch this.

  20. Well, there it is, now isn’t it? The truth of the matter.
    Thankful for the grace afforded to me on my “particularly stupid” days. 🙂
    Can you believe I’ve never seen the Gilmore Girls? I know! I reckon that’s “particularly stupid” of me. (haha)
    Lovely thoughts, Mary. Thanks for sharing. 🙂 *hug*

  21. Hi, Mary. I’m glad I reconnected with you after a long time without reading your posts. i feel the same, especially, because time is so limited for me raising two grandsons: 12 years and 20 month old. I take a timeout going to ask God to give me patience. Hugs