About the Author

Stephanie Bryant is the co-founder of @incourage and a podcaster at the #JesusLedAdventurePodcast. She owns a Marketing & Business Coaching company. She is passionate about guiding you to your promised land and personal brand therapy. She enjoys spending her days with her husband and their miracle daughter, Gabrielle, on #BryantFamilyFarm....

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& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Stephanie,
    If I find myself having some of the feelings you mentioned…wishing somehow life were different than what it is or that a relationship was different than its current state, those are my red flags that my attention has shifted away from Christ and is focused on me. Me-focused living is almost always a downer because I am a sinner and left to survive this world on my own, I’m going to fail. But, when I shift my gaze to Him….that’s where I find life, and hope, and peace. The joy of the Lord is not being in a state of “happy-happy” all the time, it’s a deeper contentment of knowing I am loved and in His presence. Focusing on that (though hard at times) helps me combat me-focused living. Great reminder…

    • Bev, your comment of “me-focused living is almost always a downer as we are born of sin equals a sure fire fail but when I shift my focus on to God that’s where I find life, hope and peace.” I can’t tell you how much this rings so true and speaks straight to me where I am right now.

      • Like I said though, Jas, sometimes easier said than done. Praying for us both that we can keep our gaze on Him!!
        Blessings this day…
        Bev xx

  2. Great post, I needed to hear this. May the Lord bless you and your bundle of joy, I tell you I had been there with wishing the stages away of being a new mummy. newborns are hard work but also such crazy love and amazing rewards with the newborn smell, their so totally reliant on you. My youngest is 5 now and it is true, they grow so fast…treasure your moments because they disappear so fast. It doesn’t feel like it at the time when you are sleep deprived and in it but in retrospect they are the most sweetest, special times.

  3. Hi Stephanie! What leaped out at me as I was reading your post was the pronouns – “your youth” or “our life.” I think therein lies the issue – our lives are not our own, but God’s. The sooner we can start thinking of our lives as God’s, the sooner we can let go of our own selfish ambitions.

  4. I feel every “stage of life” is another stage of “trying to get my life back”…..kids grow up and need different things from us, jobs change, responsibilities at home shift especially with older relatives growing older and needing more care or observation. Sometimes I notice a yearly fall out of emotions…when I just need more “me” time and focus time on what really matters RIGHT now.

  5. I thank the Lord, Stephanie, for your great post this morning. I needed this so much as I have been struggling to maintain my focus on the Lord and not my circumstances, to live for the Lord as all I am and have is His, a gift that has been given for His purpose. May each of us seek His will above our own today, moving forward with Him in our walk towards His home, our home and forgetting the former things while keeping our eyes fixed on the author and perfector of our faith 🙂

  6. This is me to a “T” – “In each new stage of life, whether we prayed earnestly for God to bring the answer or it was sprung on us not by our own choosing, the newness wears off and we’re left with the daily upkeep of a new life.” Wow. You’ve put into words exactly how I’ve been feeling for months. Waking up every single day missing my 20-something adult children who do not live at home anymore- they are not far away, but they’ll never be under my roof again. A change I never asked for – to stop having input into their lives, to not be needed as much or at all, to lose daily communication with them as I had when they lived at home. It hurts every day – maybe because I wish their circumstances were better or different- I wish they were pursuing God but they are not, so this adds to the heaviness I feel each morning when I wake. Where did I fail them, where did I go wrong?

    Thank you for sharing this here- it spoke to me greatly and made me feel not as alone.

  7. Great words, Stephanie. I confess, when I read that you remember what it’s like to thrive after a good night’s sleep, I was the tiniest bit jealous. 😉 It’s bee a long time since I’ve had that.

    But seriously, thank you so much for the reminder that we need to live i the now, where Jesus has us now. Not striving for what we had yesterday, last week, or last year. Even if we were able to get our old life back, it wouldn’t be the same because we grow and change. Hopefully, I’m growing closer to Him and changing in ways that makes me want more of Jesus in my life.

    Loved your words today.

  8. Our new lives are hidden in Him. I found that I was walking out some old and new. That’s why is important to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. In Ecclesiastes we’re told not to long for the good old days and even Jesus reminds us about Lot’s wife. It’s better to look ahead with hope.

  9. When I married my late husband, he had 4 children (I adore them all). He was quite a bit older than me and the quintessential father. Their mother had a bit (or more) of the “get my life back” mentality.
    When we had our little girl, he was still traveling a lot but always made every minute count when he was home. He was wonderful in every way.
    But I was the normal very young mom and tired easily. My folks lived only 30 minutes away so I had support. But the daily part of daily life with a tiny one wore on me, especially on the nights I was alone.
    One day, I said “I just wish I could have … ” and Bill finished the sentence will a tone and face I won’t forget. “… a life of your own?” I knew that he had memories of some difficult “get my life back” conversations.
    “No,” I said. “Just a few minutes of my own.” He sighed and smiled.
    Remembering his voice, so small and defeated, and reading your words helps me see: wishing for something different does more than rob us of today … it diminishes those around us and the parts they play in our lives.
    Given that he died when my daughter was twelve, I’m happy that he knew I wasn’t looking for a life of my own. (Sorry for the length) … xoxox

  10. For me it’s a daily practice to decide to make the best of life just as it is right now. Our lives will continue to change and evolve as we move through each chapter – things are never going to stay the same! But GOD stays the same. 🙂 I remind myself that He is always constant. He has always provided for us. We have never gone hungry or not had a roof over our heads. He is so faithful. And He will always be faithful no matter how my life changes. That is a truth I can start with every single day.

  11. Thank you SO MUCH for this post, Stephanie. It fed my heart and was the reminder I needed that God is ALWAYS working in my life and that even during these tough seasons, I am a witness to God’s goodness and grace for all those watching. For a year and a half, I have been in a season of “it will get better when ____” and now i see that I’ve let my entire life be put on hold for just one thing. Who put those rules & regulations on this? ME!! Although I have been praying, i haven’t been living in the freedom God gives us as I wait for the Lord to work. And yet he IS working, even if I can’t see the fruits of his labor yet. “JESUS’ abundant LOVE controls us, not our own natural desires & impatient souls.” I just wrote this next to my bed so I have this reminder every day to keep my focus on HIM, not my situation.

  12. What a comfort to realize that new, harder, UNcomfortable circumstances do have purpose: to bring glory to God and benefit to us. And I so appreciate your prayer, Stephanie, especially this sentence: “Help us not to long for anything besides what and how You have called us to serve You.” Thank you for that statement with a pinpoint focus–something to hang onto when we start looking back!

  13. Stephanie,

    “In each new stage of life, whether we prayed earnestly for God to bring the answer or it was sprung on us not by our own choosing, the newness wears off and we’re left with the daily upkeep of a new life.” That is ringing so true for me today. I feel a bit of a failure for not keeping my job and having a paycheck. The newness of not working has worn off and days are running into weeks. I also know God has called me to be there more for my aging dad these days. This is time I will never regret. In fact my dad told me today that I am leaving a puddle of goodness tucked in his heart. (he said this after a good bus trip to see the lake yesterday and listening to seniors singing Christian music today). Stuff he wouldn’t & couldn’t do just 1-2 years ago.
    Blessings 🙂

  14. Stephanie, catching up on some missed posts and knowing that God planned for me to read this today! So much truth in the beauty of your words and His Word! Opened my eyes and changed my perspective… God bless!

  15. I was sitting here today, asking GOD what support group I can get in for encouragement, Then I looked at my email, and saw this group that I have been in for a long while, but really never have said a whole lot, [In courage], I sat and read the stories for a long time

    My heart is breaking over so many things of trying to get my life back, I do not even know what this means anymore, because once it has been broken, how does this happen, the order that GOD set from the beginning is not there now.

    I walked away from my marriage about 4 years ago with my 6 children, I had to go into hiding, and now have our own home with my children, I secretly divorced my husband, I never wanted this for my life, but was left with no choice. I thought at first leaving would be much much better now I am out of the abuse, In many ways it is better, But many it has been a battle moving forward, I was married for over 24 years with 8 children, I had 4 boys first, then 3 girls, then another boy.very much brainwashed, by my controlling husband.. I waited until my two older sons got up there in the age before I would leave, and had there own places because I did not want to leave them behind.

    I was just a stay at home Mom, did not work outside the home.. and when I left my own home with 6 children, I had no clue how all of this was going to work.I never really knew just how much pain was there in all of us until I left..Through the time my husband found us, and I let him see the children, Knowing he would only see them with me and then be on his way.He moved out of town.

    We have been getting alone good, I just believe we will always have scars to live him, and things to deal with because I stayed way to long.
    just as I thought I was going on the road to getting over all of this, I get a call from my x, who still stills he is my husband, telling me he wants to come where we are, talking about renting my garage, I told him no, it is not even our home, then he goes on to say that he will find a room to rent then, All the while my heart is pounding, thinking I have got to tell him I divorced him, So I told him that I divorced him.

    I thought he would be mad, but he thinks he is still married to me, because, after about 5 years of our marriage, my husband turned Muslim, and started living the Muslim way, and was trying to push it on us all, I told him, I would never do this, So he still think he owns me..

    He is planning on coming in July to see the children, I have no clue if he is planning on moving here, changing his job here, or anything because he tells me nothing, I have a feeling he will try and fit his self back into our lives.
    Broken homes are lonely, painful, hurting,