“He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”
~ Clarence Budington Kelland

Is Father’s Day worth remembering if you don’t have a daddy?

Since my daddy left when I was seven, I never really had a hard time with Father’s Day.

I described it to my friends this way whenever they asked if it was sad growing up without one:

I don’t feel anything.
It’s probably like being born without a limb. You can’t miss what you’ve never had.

Now that I’m not a kid any more I don’t have to lie.

It was sad — because I can never know what it’s like to have a daddy.

A Little Too Strong

I don’t recall the exact question I asked my mom, but I remember her words like it was yesterday.

My mother told me to cope this way, “Just think of yourself as being born without a dad. Some fathers die when babies are born and they grow up just fine.”

She didn’t want my loss to be an excuse to stumble. It did make me stronger. A little too strong maybe. I never felt the pain of a missing father. I felt nothing.

But, it wasn’t true. I simply made a detour around the place inside that wanted a father. I didn’t think I needed to be vulnerable, held, or carried. To feel this way was a sign of weakness and limitation.

Why long for something I could never have? That’s what I told myself. I incorrectly believed that to question my situation was a sign of mistrusting God’s plan for me.

But in recent years, God has gently been bringing me back to this place of longing, and I’ve discovered that in that place of opening up wounds, God has brought my heart back alive. I now understand to long being loved by a daddy makes me vulnerable — and intimately honest — with my need for Someone to love me, as a loving daddy would love his little girl.

God has turned my brokenness into a beautiful intimacy to become the beloved. His beloved.

A Beautiful Possession

Being loved by a daddy is like having the sun kiss your nose, while you’re eating sweet strawberries in one hand and running through the sprinklers with laughter in the other.

You don’t need it. But it can change your world.

A father worth remembering makes the pang of missing someone a beautiful possession.

Since coming into my own, I’ve learned that having arms to crawl into, shoulders to ride on, and a soft place to land are birthrights Jesus paid for me to own.

To feel this way is a sign of belonging and blessing.

It’s what everyone truly wants. And it’s now something I’m rediscovering with God as my Heavenly Father, now that I’m a momma myself with two little boys.

The Bible is beautifully filled with stories of troubled people — loved, treasured, and cherished — and irrevocably named by a beautiful God who called them His.

The beautiful truth is this: the parts of me I usually like to hide are the very parts where God is loving me and remaking my heart child-like new.

A person can die poor spending everything that she has value chasing after such freedom.

Not us. When we embrace God as our Father, we are finally free to discover who we really are.

“Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long . . . resting between His shoulders.” {Deuteronomy 33:12}

Part of being God’s beloved is the joy of knowing that we can be fully known. We are the beloved. We belong to him.

A Special Promise To Celebrate The Day

—  If you’re blessed enough to have a father to call your daddy:

I’m so very happy for you. Celebrate the day, look into his eyes as you hand him a gift, write a loving a card, and say his name. Share a memory of him from your childhood. I promise he will be blessed.

Here Daddy. This is for you.

—  If you’re like me, without a daddy:

Hear the whispers of your Heavenly Daddy whisper . . .

I see you. I hear you.
I gather you in My arms
and carry you close to My heart.
You are My beloved.
You are mine.

It’s true. It’s God’s very special promise to you —

“God tends to His flock like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart. He gently leads those who have young.” {Isaiah 40:11}

Celebrate. As we read the cards meant for others, read them the way I do at the card store. Read them quietly in your heart to our Father God. It might make you cry a little, but imagine the smile on our Heavenly Papa’s face.

Send words of appreciation to a friend who is a daddy. Don’t forget your spouse.

—  For any fathers reading this:

Love harder, even if it costs you everything you have.

You can never lose who you are. You will find yourself in the hearts of the children you love — along with the Father who lovingly carries you all the way, until you are home.

I’d like to close by sharing one of my all-time favorite verses. It’s a promise that takes my breath away, every time I read it. Because I know it’s true.

“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” {Isaiah 46:4}

Remember, You’re loved, you’re cherished. You’re worth it. So, just rest.

What does Father’s Day mean to you?

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