I have a lot of plates. A LOT. Too many, really.
When I got married 15 years ago, I registered for the same dishes my cousin had registered for the year before at her wedding. I didn’t know it at the time and didn’t do it on purpose — but nobody was surprised when we realized it. See, I’ve been copying my cousins my entire life, and when faced with a wall of plates in a department store I subconsciously reverted back to the little girl who wore their hand-me-down neon t-shirts and stonewashed jeans. After all, who needs Pinterest or Real Simple when you can just copy your cool, older cousins’ style?
So a few years ago, when my cousin bought new dishes (the colorful Fiestaware that YES, I TOTALLY WANT NOW), she boxed up her white pottery with the navy stripe and brought it to my house. What a generous gift! And yet . . . some of those lovely dishes still sit in boxes on a shelf in my garage.
All those dishes — her set plus my own — won’t fit in my cabinets. Given my tendency for putting off little things like doing the dishes, however, I cram as many plates into the cabinet as I can.
When I open that cabinet, I’m reminded of the way we talk about having too much on our plates. I have too many plates in my cabinet and, oh yes, way too much on my proverbial plate.
Since about the second week of returning to work after having a baby this winter, I’ve started my day the same way. I pry open my eyes, squint at the clock and reach for my phone. I swipe it open to check text messages, email, and Facebook — looking for notices that tell me I forgot something or did something wrong.
Lots of times, I do indeed receive early morning confirmation that I screwed up. Again. And my day has begun, with me stumbling to the computer as I jiggle a baby on my hip and holler at a six-year-old to brush her teeth and her hair because we’re going to be late for school. Again.
I can’t seem to get it together, you all.
I’ve told more than one person that all I seem to do these days is miss deadlines and let people down. Dropping balls is my new hobby, and I’m becoming more and more comfortable with the reality that I am not and will likely never be on top of things. My plate is so full it’s overflowed onto other plates, and somehow they climbed up onto sticks and started spinning.
But I can’t spin plates. Especially overfull ones! I just can’t. And so those full plates — those beautiful, colorful, breakable plates — keep crashing to the ground. Shattering. Cutting. Scattering.
You can hear it, right? The anxiety these plates give me? The proverbial ones, of course, not my actual plates in my actual cabinet. But those plates that are actually my schedule, my to-do list, my hours in a day, my priorities and responsibilities — they are killing me.
Thankfully, I’m not alone in this plate madness.
My husband asks, “How can I help?”
My counselor nudges, “What would it look like if you said no?”
My manager says, “Tell me if you don’t have time.”
And someone else points out, “You made this deadline; not me. It doesn’t have to happen this week.”
And just like that, the chaos calms and those plates stop spinning. I can’t say the same for my mind; it takes more than kind words and a couple offers to help to stop the whirring and worrying there.
But then another Voice speaks up. And He says, “It’s okay. Put down the plates. Step away from the table. Lean on me. BREATHE.”
Breathe.
It’s okay.
Put down the plates. And for the love of pottery, stop adding things to the plates!
God never asked me to say yes to every project, every opportunity, even every need or every person. He didn’t. I don’t see it in the Bible where He commanded me to do it all or die trying.
I’m pretty sure He said the opposite, actually.
“It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night,
anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.”
{Psalm 127:2}
“Six days you shall work, but on the seventh day you shall rest.
In plowing time and in harvest you shall rest.”
{Exodus 34:21}
“Then Jesus said, ‘Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.’
He said this because there were so many people coming and going
that Jesus and His apostles didn’t even have time to eat.”
{Mark 6:31}
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
{Matthew 11:28-30}
Oh, yes. There’s the Truth — and the Peace I’ve been missing.
I can’t promise that I’ll stop checking my email before rolling out of bed, but I am working on saying no more often and accepting the gift of rest that God is offering.
What do you do when you have too much on your plate?
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“for the love of pottery!” Thanks for making me giggle this morning. I think many of us will be reminded of your post when we get plates out today.
I’m listening to my daughter empty the dishwasher right now…hearing our plates clink together just a bit harder than I’d like…and I’m reminded of my own words! 🙂
Mary,
I am guilty of trying to get as much on one plate as is super-womanly possible. I will get out a shoehorn to try to fit one more thing into my day. When I get like this…finding my breathing not relaxed, but tense…I read posts like yours and scripture like 127:2 that you pointed out. It makes me ask myself, “Why are you working so anxiously from morning till night…it’s useless…” Or I take Jesus up on His invitation to come away from the crowds for awhile and be with Him. Some days I’m better at this than others, but when I feel the anxiety rise, it’s my red flag that I need a Jesus-break. Time spent with Him or time just spent resting and thinking of nothing is therapeutic. God programmed rest into His week…I’d be smart to follow His example. Thanks for a much needed post!
Blessings,
Bev
Bev, YES – I think an alternate title for this post could be, “Put the Shoehorn Down and Walk Away”! 🙂
How did you know that I’m in the process of bringing down some of those spinning plates? Carefully. Prayerfully.
Thanks for your encouragement.
We are in this thing together, Michele!
Love this! Thanks for the reminder to stop trying to do it all.
Oh how gracious is our Savior this morning for inspiring this post. Thank you, Mary, for these words 🙂 I tend to overload my plate and I am learning that the Lord will only empower me so far-He knows my limits and where He needs me far better than I do thankfully. May each of us be guided by the Holy Spirit today to find that balance that lets each of us love with full hearts and bodies 🙂
A balance that allows us to love fully sounds amazing. That’s what I’m going to pray for, too!
Thanks Mary for this inspirational post. It was exactly what I needed this morning. I tend to have my plate overloaded on a regular basis. Today I’ve got so much to do & so little time to get it completed. But. ..I must remember to take the time to rest in God. I’ll get what I need to accomplish completed. God will be with me every step of the way. ..& knowing this gives me peace.
Yes, exactly – what MUST get done will inevitably get done. And we can find peace much more easily when we remember that!
I love it! I women all the time that God didn’t mean for us to be jugglers, I can see the plates spinning. It is okay to say no. The Israelites wandered and would not rest, Hebrews recounts this, they just would not rest in Him. So how can we? Put down the dishes and take a nap.
Suzie, I think that’s the key – figuring out which plates we CAN put down (and then doing it)!
Ahhh, Mary. I’ve been there. And if I’m honest, I’ll probably be there again. Saying yes is so much easier—so much more affirming—than saying no. The fact that someone asked me to do something? Thinks I’m worthy of asking? Yes please! That’s my struggle–acceptance by people and people-pleasing.
As God has given me a calling to write, He’s also given me reasons to say no to things. Not everything. But knowing where my priorities are makes that two-letter word a little easier to say. Well, that and a husband who is good at helping know when too much is simply too much.
Great post today!
Ohhhh yeah, having a support system who supports your right (and need) to say no is crucial!
Mary,This is so good! I see so many needs in our community and church, and I would be qualified. But, I do need to ask myself, is God calling me to do this? Is my heart in this, even though this is good. Who else could do this? Or is this supposed to happen now? Does this have to be perfect? Gotta stop some plates. Joanne
Asking those questions before answering ourselves is vital, Joanne – and something I need to do more!
Hi Mary! I, too, check my phone before I get out of bed, BUT I force myself to start with my YouVersion app and then I can check FB. It makes a difference for me!! Best! Lina
While I enjoyed reading this, and I certainly could have related to it in the past… this rest, stop, pause and prayer to God, might alleviate the ‘too many plates’ syndrome. Holy Spirit is always willing to be our guide, so why not take a minute – or two, three, more even?! Our steps are, indeed, ordered; and peace reigns for the rest of each step. May all of us realize the ‘realness’ of His ‘loving us’!
Mary,
It is so easy to overload a plate. Sometimes we feel like we need to do all this and that to please God or earn our way to Heaven. While He created us to do good works He also commands us to rest. Being tired, worn out is not His will for us. We won’t have the energy to care for our family. Plus we may be depriving someone else of the joy of doing a good work.
Blessings 🙂