The afternoon sun is coming in our front window, falling on the pages as I sit down at the piano my parents scrounged to buy when I was thirteen. The top is dusty, the keys badly out of tune. There are concerto pieces in the piano bench beneath me, but I focus on an intermediate book, and I play slowly.
Our kids once began half-hearted lessons, but I am the only one in the family who knows how to play this instrument, and my fingers have lost the agility they had when they played those concertos. Despite the missed notes and frustration, joy pokes its head between the notes. I am making music again, and muscle memory takes over with note patterns I haven’t played since I was sixteen.
I will never compete at this again, never perform for an audience, never put mad piano skills on a resume. And that is the point.
I am doing it because God made me for it, and the deep joy of the Creator calls out my joy when I follow.
I am an unflagging worker. I spend all day at the computer, when I’m not running to change laundry loads or magically pull something out of the freezer at the last minute for dinner. I love what I do, bringing words to life on a page or in a sermon. But given the chance, I will stay there, stuck in work like our Christmas lights that are still frozen into the ground in March. With no one else home, I can look up, find it’s eight o’clock, and realize I can’t take one more minute of banging out words. I need a joy break.
Part of this is because I love what I do. But to be honest? Part of it is because I like to check things off a list. I am addicted to the sense of accomplishment. And I like the accolades that come with doing it well.
It seems oxymoronic, but I have to force myself to play, and slowly, playing brings joy.
In a culture that requires every activity we do to have a purpose, each minute we spend to add to our resume of achievements, we can lose our joy in the race. This high pressure life tries to convince us we have no time for play when we have to spend all of our time validating our existence with achievements.
We’re still surprised that we lose our joy so easily? Some days, I don’t lose it, I drown it in an ocean of must-do’s. Yet, the God who tells us that trees clap their hands, rocks sing praise, and the heavens rejoice is calling us with those creative images to do the same.
“Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.” {Psalm 47:1, NIV}
Joy comes from what God has planted inside me, never from the circumstances I find or create. I can rediscover it when I stop looking for it in a list of accolades and start reveling in what He’s already put in my heart. I find it when I play.
Let’s play pointlessly, joyously, with abandon — without worrying that you have no time and you have other more important things to do.
There are no things more important than joy.
That’s why I’ve taken up the piano again. I’m also revisiting other things I loved before too much life crowded in: sewing (there’s a wedding dress for a daughter only halfway done), scrapbooking, growing flowers, watching birds.
There is some part of you made to match some part of Him that will sing with joy when those parts come together. For me it’s creating beauty, whether it’s music or flowers. For you, it might be creating sustenance with amazing food or indulging in curiosity by taking apart small engines. It could be appreciating creation by hiking in the woods or shooting photos of His people.
It doesn’t even matter if you play well. The notes will still be sweet.
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I SO understand this post! Thank you~~~
You’re welcome!
Jill,
I can relate to forcing yourself to experience joy. I, too, played the piano quite well. Now I dust the keys every so often. I promised my 82 year old mother that we’d sing carols around the piano the past Christmas, so I forced myself to crack open the music books. Amazingly, feeling some muscle memory return….I began to feel joy as the music resonated from my out of tune piano. Why hadn’t I done this earlier?? You are so right…we need to take breaks, take time to tap into that joy that God has planted within us with His presence. Really enjoyed your post this am.!
Blessings from a sister pianist (sort of),
Bev
Keep playing! I’m trying to. I’ll bet that was a great joy to your mother. I know mine used to love to listen to me play when she didn’t feel well, which was pretty often back then.
What a blessed reminder! For me joy is allowing God to create comfort and peace by making yarn into beautiful blankets for very sick babies, or prayer shawls for those in a tough season of life, or chemo hats for cancer centers all over the county. The joy of sitting with my Father in prayer is simple and sweet. People often ask why I don’t sell items, since everything I do is part if the ministry He has griwn. Somehow having to do it, and do it a certain way, would remove the joy of following His direction and just being.
That is a great joy-giver. I love to craft, but I have always been a failure at anything that uses yarn and needles or hooks! Trying felting right now–it’s going better. You’re right–it takes the joy out somehow when we put something into the category of having to do it and having to make it “right.”
I like the idea of doing things because we simply WANT to and ENJOY doing it….I wish we could feel less guilt for the times we don’t exercise, make bad food choices, decide to stay home from a party to rest rather than socialize, or even “dare I say” go to work one day without makeup because the “natural” look will be enough today.
Bring back the joy of choice and smile with the decision.
Yes–guilt is quite the joy killer. As a huge introvert, I definitely struggle sometimes with the whole, “I need to be with people/I want to be alone” thing.
Jill, this is just beautiful. I love the metaphor of finger exercises on a piano corresponding to the rhythms and repetitions that carry us through our days. Madeleine L’Engle writes of this beautifully in her non-fiction/memoirs. Some day I hope to incorporate time at the piano into my schedule as well. Your words give my heart hope.
I hope you do! And I love Madeleine L’Engle.
This post is just what I needed today after a long week of trying to validate my existence with achievements. I know I get to the end of long work weeks and feel like I just have to keep going, keep being productive, try to get “caught up” on all my to do list items. Today I am going to play and let myself be joyful without feeling guilty. Bless you Jill for this message!
Yay! You have no idea how happy that makes me.
This message speaks to my heart! I was just thinking about getting back to piano again, and now play very slowly, just for myself, actually when no one is home:) But that’s OK:) Not perfectly, but it does restore joy and good memories. Music, flowers, birds, children, nature! I could go on and on! Thank You!
Joy is what we’re after–not perfection! I’m glad you’ve found it in so many things!
My piano lessons only lasted a while but I had imagined the singing round it. I do think life can crush our gifts and joy. It is something God calls forth like light. I think He is waking us up and stirring gifts we may have given up on. Remember, it’s the joy of the Lord and He says not to let it taken.
Indeed. I don’t think we realize how much we have to hang on to it sometimes. Good reminder.
Thank you for sharing this, Jill! It’s a sweet reminder for my spirit!
You’re welcome!
This post is so true
. That’s why I scrapbook for my kids & my grandkids. It brings me such joy. And when they come visit, it brings them joy too! I love it. I know God loves it too. He loves for us to create. He gave us these gifts. We need to use them. We are creative. My daughter & I are going to take a quilt making class together. Even though I have MS & MS induced Scoliosis I can hardly wait. I’ll get thru because God will help me & my daughter will too & we will laugh & have such fun. Oh, true joy! I can hardly wait! Thank you for this truly lovely devotional reminding women that doing things they love is not a sin, it’s a gift from God.
I love that you’re doing it with her. I like to take classes with my daughters too. We all learn a lot more than just the craft.
Jill,
God plants Joy all around us-we just need to stop and look for it! For me joy can come in making nice meals for my hubby. I love trying new recipes and hearing the praise it brings. Life can get busy, hard & stressful. God ordained that we take breaks and have some fun. Thanks for this insightful post!
Blessings 🙂
That is fantastic. I have to admit to not liking cooking at all, so it’s not joyful 🙁 But I love that you do and you can use it creatively to bring joy to others.