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God's Love

When You Don’t Feel the Love

by Robin Dance  •   Feb 24, 2016  •   34 Comments  •  
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02242016_RobinDance_Love

There’s little doubt that familiarity breeds contempt, but recently I found myself wondering if familiarity can breed contempt even when it comes to Scripture. (Gasp!)

There’s part of me that scolds myself — a heretic at best, guilty of apostasy or blasphemy at worst — but if you hear me out, maybe you can identify? When I’m brutally honest with myself, I see how easily it can happen. It’s not a matter of disdain or unbelief, but more a case of having read or heard “go-to” passages so many times, you gloss over it or think there’s nothing new to learn or that you already know it all as it relates to that verse or this chapter.

But here’s the kicker: we might not even realize we feel that way. It’s as subtle as speed-reading through familiar words or skipping a section altogether because you “know” it so well.  Oh, our enemy is a wily one.

I was thinking on this because I had sensed that Holy Spirit tug to write about 1 Corinthians 13, the greatest treatise on “love” ever penned. I’d wager even new believers or unbelievers immediately think Love is patient, love is kind, upon hearing the Scripture reference. It felt incredibly cliché to write about love during the month we celebrate Valentine’s Day, except . . . except . . . the battle in my head and heart was so fierce, it seemed important to listen.

Why would God want me to write about love? And perhaps a more telling question, why would our enemy not want me to write about love?

When I realized the simple answer to both questions was identical, the wrestle was over: 

There are important things we need to know and/or remember about love.

Try to read the following words as if you’re seeing them for the very first time. Try.

Love . . .

is patient and kind

does not envy or boast

isn’t arrogant or rude

doesn’t insist on its own way

isn’t irritable or resentful

doesn’t rejoice at wrongdoing

rejoices with the truth

bears all things

believes all things

hopes all things

endures all things

Love never ends . . .

{1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV}

Throughout the entire chapter, love is seen through the lens of demonstrable action, not emotion.

Love is something we do, not (just) feel.

This is a game changer. In 1 Corinthians, Paul provides a beautiful way for the church to love others when we’ve been wronged or wounded.

Love, when companioned by emotional attachment, affectionate connection, and deep feeling is a precious thing. It’s what first draws us to our mate. It’s what binds us to our children. It’s the thread that knits together the most special of friendships.

It’s rare and at times elusive.

But at all times — and regardless of circumstances — we’re called to love others {see John 13:34-35 and 1 John 4:7-21}. And not just others, we’re called to love our enemies {see Matthew 5:43-48}!

How loving do you feel when your teenage children defy and disobey you? When a friend betrays your confidence? When a co-worker undermines your decisions? When your spouse leaves your marriage and your family in shambles?

How can you love then?

There is a way to love and that’s following The Way and how He loved.

I don’t know if Jesus felt love for the people who failed Him and treated Him horrifically, but we do have a glimpse into how He demonstrated His love —

“. . . but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” {Romans 5:8}

Who in your life is making it difficult for you to love them? Can I ask you to try something? Re-read 1 Corinthians 13 and practice the ways you can show love to the hurtful people in your life.

When you don’t feel love, you can be patient and kind. You can be humble and deferent and enduring. I know it isn’t easy, but it is simple; “love” is spelled out for us in a list of 15 things we can either do or restrain ourselves from doing. Of course, 1 Corinthians 13 isn’t the only Scripture that teaches us about love, but it’s revolutionary once we begin practicing what Paul is preaching.

Who have you been withholding love from because you don’t feel love toward that person? (I can think of a few in my own life.) Thanks be to our Lord who loves us enough, not just to command us to love others, but to make a way for us to love people, and in doing so, live out the Gospel.

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Love is something we DO, not feel. {Tweet This!}

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