“The story of your life
is the story of the long and brutal assault on your heart
by the one who knows what you could be and fears it.”
John Eldredge, Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive

It almost seems like a dream to me, that season. I wouldn’t call it a nightmare exactly, but it was dark and desperate, and I couldn’t find my way to morning. I drifted through days marking time, barely living in the ways that matter most.

Right foot . . . left foot . . . breathe in . . . breathe out.

Perfunctory motion got me through another day.

That smile on my face was a masquerade, a lie — camouflaging the truth of my fractured heart.

I hid it well, or at least I think I did. Mostly anyway.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.

It wasn’t difficult to hide behind my children. With three in school it was easy to volunteer myself to death. I hadn’t yet made the discovery I was an Olympic peace-keeper and people pleaser (something for which I’ll likely be in recovery ’til the end of my days), but I didn’t want to bother people with my woes. I had lived in this place only a short while and friendship roots were shallow. Plus, there were so many bigger, worser problems in the world.

Comparison is always a thief, isn’t it? 

Comparison can rob us of joy, yes, but sometimes she steals the dignity of our struggles. To suggest that my battle holds no significance simply because your battle has presumably greater weight is disservice to us both.

If it matters to me, it matters.
If it matters to you, it matters.

It was so long ago, but memory brings it close. Remembering even now brings shudders. But there was something I (finally) learned that changed e v e r y t h i n g.

Maybe it was because I had felt like a dead man walking that I had even bothered to pick it up in the first place. We were on a family night out at Barnes and Noble, and I was mining new Christian releases. The title grabbed my attention — Waking the Dead — and I ordered a coffee, sat down, and started reading.

Most nights we didn’t purchase books, but Eldredge’s message was compelling, and I’m convinced, divinely appointed just for me. I went home and finished it over the next day or so.

And I finally awakened from my slumber.

All these years later, I can’t tell you much more than 17 syllables about that book, but I’ll never forget Eldredge’s words at the top of this page, and a few Scriptures that slipped from my head to my heart, carrying with them wisdom, truth, grace, hope, and healing.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” {John 10:10, ESV}

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” {Ephesians 6:12, ESV}

What became beautifully clear to me was how intimately Jesus knew me — my despair at the time, certainly, but also my great but not-yet-fully-realized potential — and that, indeed, I have an enemy whose greatest delight is my defeat.

There is an enemy of my heart who wants to Tar-Baby ensnare me by occupying my mind and energy by engaging him.

• When I focus on my disappointments, circumstances, or shortcomings.
• When I harbor unforgiveness, bitterness, or envy.
• When I esteem my rights or feel entitled in marriage or other relationships.

I am definitely not “looking to Jesus” nor “considering Him who endured from sinners such hostility against Himself, so that I may not grow weary or fainthearted.” {See Hebrews 12:1-3}

Do you understand what I mean if I say “Jesus is our current but satan is our riptide”? Christ is for us but satan is against us. Any instance, every time.

If God is for us, who can be against us? {Romans 8:31}

• If you’ve received a cancer diagnosis, God is for you.
• If your husband has lost his job and your part-time position isn’t enough to make ends meet, God is for you.
• If your promise-ring-wearing daughter gets pregnant, God is for you.
• If you find drugs in your son’s pocket, God is for you.
• If you’re painfully lonely or battling addiction or tangled in a secret sin, God is for you.

Make no mistake my friend, at least to some degree, “the story of your life is the story of the long and brutal assault on your heart by the one who knows what you could be and fears it” but it. is. not. God.

The enemy of your heart knows you’re made in God’s very image (he is not), and his greatest challenge and victory is to make you forget who your enemy is. Don’t let him have his way. Don’t let him win.

Fight as if your life depends on it — because it does; not by engaging your enemy, but by remembering you are loved without condition.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” {Romans 8:38-39}

Remember who you are. Remember Whose you are. If God is for you, who is against you?

[linebreak]

Share on Twitter:

Remember who you are. Remember Whose you are. If God is for you, who is against you? {Tweet this!}

Leave a Comment