About the Author

Lisa Leonard is mom to two boys, David, 13 and Matthias, 12 and wife to Steve. In between school and work they spend their time playing outdoors on the central coast of California, eating chocolate chip pancakes, tapping tunes on the piano (David) and choreographing elaborate light saber duels (Matthias)....

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  1. Lisa,
    This a beautiful commentary on marriage. We can all be loving and kind when things are going well, but it’s in the trials of life that we see what someone’s true character is made of. How someone bears the burdens of trials with you is probably a more accurate picture of a good marriage than smiling vacation pictures from a Caribbean island. Also remembering that we are two fallible humans living together…humans that are going to need grace and forgiveness…just like God demonstrated to us through His Son. Love God. Love others (especially your spouse) as you love yourself. Sometimes I have to take myself back to basics in order to get it right. What if every day we tried to out love one another??
    Blessings,
    Bev

  2. What a lovely explanation of what a marriage is…after the flutterly feelings of the wedding are gone and real life happens. The analogy of the wall of bricks is so true! Lord, help my thoughts, actions and words be ones that tear down the wall instead of adding to it. Some days are harder than others but God is faithful to forgive us and renew us each and every day! Even through our humanness and selfishness, He is faithful to help us build this relationship one moment at a time.

  3. Lisa, your post resonated with me. I went into marriage feeling like we had it pretty well together too. Shortly into marriage, my husband attended a three-month school across the country, we walked through infertility and we learned what real life looked like. We’ve had to choose to give grace when one has hurt the other. We’ve chosen to love through the hard, through the physical distance that is a part of my husband’s job. We’re learning to love each other well, and to choose unity when the world tries to pull us apart. We’re doing life together by choice. Some days it’s hard. Other days it’s a joy. And without God as our center, I don’t think our relationship would be nearly as strong as it is.

    I love how you described marriage here. Beautiful post!

  4. Hi Lisa, your post resonated with me. So true, it is the everyday stress of life that makes marriage challenging and beautiful. I like the image of bricks coming down with each kind gesture. Loved the note idea in the lunch bag, may have to borrow that. 🙂
    Have a blessed Thanksgiving with family and friends.
    p.s. Kinda loved the pic of you with Gerard Butler. Have you seen “Dear Frankie”? (you’ll need tissues).

  5. Marriage wasn’t something I’d thought I’d be giving advice on, but though I’ve yet to walk down the aisle, I’ve learned a thing or two. God has to be in the center of it and love is a choice, it’s better than arguing, or being alone, and after all God designed it and that’s what He is…Love.

  6. Oh how much I love this, your honesty is inspiring. Thank you so much Lisa. Just like your jewelry, your words are beautiful.

  7. So beautiful! And so true! I’m a newly-wed, and I had the same assumptions. When people ask me ‘how’s married life?’ I always reply–it’s comfortable. Not the whirlwind that I expected it to be! Your story is so encouraging. Thank you for being open and honest!

  8. Lisa,
    Loved this commentary on marriage! I wish all young couples could read this and watch the movie Fire proof!!
    After the fluttery gaga eyes of dating life steps in and gets messy! It takes grits and gumption willpower and God at the center of it all to make a lasting marriage. We’ve been through the death of a parent-mine, aging parent moving to assisted living and having multiple medical issues, etc. Our aging parents can drive us crazy, but we stick together through it all! The two of you have to want to stay together for the long haul!
    Blessings 🙂

  9. Thanks for this wonderful post! I really needed it – such a good reminder of what real life & marriage really is. My husband and I also have a child with disabilities which has caused added challenges to marriage & family. God has helped us overcome!

  10. I love this lisa – so wise (for being so young!) (: Yes, and it takes so much darn humility for me to be the “first one!” to reach out and be vulnerable and offer grace/kindness instead of allowing another brick to make itself at home in our home. love you (and Steve!) sue PS always know you’re invited for Christmas Eve – soup and bread.

  11. Yes, Lisa, twenty-five years in, and I see the truth that our marriage grows — or flounders — in the days of mundane. Trusting for grace to see the little irritations through eyes of love, and from an overflow of mercy received from Christ.