About the Author

Sarah Mae has a past that would be her present if it weren’t for Jesus. A blogger, author, and co-author of Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, she’s currently writing The Complicated Heart, a book for broken-hearted lovers of Jesus. Learn more at @thecomplicatedheart on Instagram or...

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  1. Sarah Mae,
    Wow, this really hit me…I have really been struggling with my grown children’s actions. I think and say to God so many time, “I didn’t raise them to make these poor choices.” Yet, I see them make these choices (often ones that hurt me) and my heart hurts. I wonder when they will ever learn?? I suppose this side of Heaven it’s a continual learning and growing process and I need to show the grace that was shown to me…but what do you do when it still hurts?
    Struggling…
    Bev

    • It’s a lifetime of maturing, isn’t it? As for the hurt, I don’t know except to release yourself from the guilt of it because none of us can go back, and even if we could, we would never be perfect parents. Our children are responsible for their own actions, and though the pain may be severe, we can only offer it up to God, keep praying, and walk free in faith. I’m praying for you right now Bev. {Hugs}

    • Bev,
      Parenting can be hard. I think of my poor parents that are no longer here. If they were I would tell them I am sorry for the times i did not listen to you or for any pain I might of caused. and i would say thank-you for being there for me and loving and caring for me even when I messed up.

      Take Care, praying for your heart.

      Penny

  2. I’m smiling as I read this because of where I sit today–with two in college and one already out! One point you made that really isn’t the point of this post at all but which bears notice, is that you were with other moms, trading tales. THAT IS LIFE-GIVING IN MOTHERHOOD! I’m a believer that it takes a village to raise our babies–what better way to know we aren’t the only ones? What better place to receive encouragement, learn that you aren’t the “only one” and where you can give back what you’ve learned yourself? THAT would be a key piece of advice I’d give to young mamas…FIND others in a similar stage of momming…and a few who are just ahead of you to know where you’re going, and a few behind you to bring along yourself :).

  3. There is a lot to be learned from this. thank-you for your positive outlook. As parents we try to point our children in the right direction and hope and pray they follow it. I think something that helped me ( and taught me with my children) was that my parents didn’t dwell on it. That and the Lord’s Grace.

    Penny

  4. Sarah Mae,
    I don’t have children but this is such a good lesson for me with kids I work with and for my future. Thanks!

  5. Great post for parents, we are created in God’s image, spirit. That Adamic nature may be crucified with Christ but it takes effort and the Holy Spirit to be disciplined ourselves. And rest, ladies, rest in Him. You are no good to any one if you are tired all the time,

  6. Sarah, great post! It helped me to realize that we often feel disappointment as a result of unrealistic expectations. Ahhh, expectations and reality…at times these two words don’t seem as though they could ever work together, but at other times they are a compass.

  7. Sarah Mae,
    Thank you for sharing!! I was just pondering this very thought yesterday as I drove my daughter home from dance class. A younger girl cuts in front of her in line every week, and this time it had ruined the whole class for her. I asked if she thought it was worth sacrificing what she could have learned to be one step closer of her dream of pointe shoes…and why she didn’t just let her go in front of her and move on. Then, I stopped to think, how many times do I let petty things ruin my day?! In fact, I had just done it. A close friend left me out of a gathering, and I let it keep me up an entire night. I tried to reason with her just like my daughter tried to reason with the little girl at dance. People are going to cut in line. And if they are younger, spiritually or by age, they might not have the capacity to consider our feelings the way we think they ought. And some days, I will be the younger one in spirituality or age, and I must be humble and pray for guidance and forgiveness. Even mature adults and those mature in the faith still sin. How frustrating it can be…but it sure does level the playing field. We surely are all in is together. Thank you, Sarah, God sent your words to me in perfect time. Happy Tuesday!
    Megs

  8. Mothering has done this for me too — it’s made me more aware of the impact my own sin has on my Heavenly Father, who certainly has given me all that I need for “life and godliness,” and yet I continue to make poor choices. We never “arrive” on this side of heaven. Thanks for this perspective in dealing with the failings of our kids — and our own failings!

  9. Sarah Mae,
    I don’t have children, but have “mothered” older parents. It is hard to watch and have patience with them! God didn’t give us instruction booklets on how to raise children, or deal with aging parents w/dementia. All we can do is offer them the grace God gives us!

    Blessings 🙂

  10. haha – so true – so not funny but sort of. reminded me when i was moaning about my sin at age 22 and my then -boyfriend said: ‘so sue, do you expect to reach a plateau someday and no longer sin??” wow – comforting and true. I WAS, must-have been thinking that. And of course as a mom now i’m daily confronting w/ my sin/weakness/ and happily-so – my dependence on God. Great post!

  11. There is nothing more humbling then seeing yourself in your child. I am gently reminded of how patiently My Heavenly Father STILL LOVES ME DESPITE MYSELF.
    Thank You for This Moment.
    Be still & Know He Is God (Alone)