About the Author

Cristi Dozier lives in Austin, Texas, where she met and married her husband of 15 years, Ben. They have four kids together. Adelyn (12), Gunnison (10), Creede (8), and South (5). Life has taken her family on some unexpected journeys including some brief stints of living in the mountains. It...

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  1. I needed this… to believe we are better together again. A couple of years ago, I believed it and preached it everywhere I went. Lately, I’ve been battling myself and everything around me. I just don’t know what I believe when it comes to relationships. This article revives a bit of hope in me. This is the picture of better together. We are better together. Thank you for sharing this. It challenges me to look past myself and see the truth again.

    • I’ve had so many seasons of crawling in a hole not wanting to let anyone in. Mostly its because I’m battling shame or the thought that I can or should be able to handle things on my own. Thank you for sharing your own struggle. It is so real.

  2. This is just beautiful. Such a great reminder of ways we can quietly minister to those around us. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

    • I love how you said “quietly minister”. So often we do not know what to do so we do not do anything. Or we want to think of just the right grand gesture to make things better. It really was the everyday small things that spoke the most to us in the time. Thank you for your comment Marty.

  3. First, let me say, I’m sorry for your loss. What a blessing to be close to your mom. I always wanted that. Regarding the rest of your article: We are better together than apart. Definitely! I remind people of this in one way or another when they need comfort and encouragement. Yet, I’m so secretive about my own pain. Perhaps, it’s because I was raised with so many double standards where I received the short end of the stick. Maybe, it’s because I was brutally punished by my mom when I was growing up for expressing any negative emotions she didn’t agree with. It may be that when I was growing up, every adult in my life told my mom everything I said, even when I talked to them about problems with my mom. It could even be that I grew up in a house of secrets and lies that felt like a prison, and the one in charge was a functioning abusive alcoholic, like in the movie “Mommie Dearest “. Most likely, it was the combination of these factors. It’s only been in the last nine years I’ve learned to express myself and I’m still not entirely comfortable with it, despite having people in my life I can and do trust to keep my confidence. Because of how I was raised, I developed a food addiction. In recent years, I’ve learned to not eat my emotions. I also used to take my emotions out on my vehicle because you can only stuff them for so long. So, God used a series of circumstances to take me off the road. I’m so glad He did, though I wasn’t at the time. God wastes nothing and I have learned a lot. Be blessed.

  4. Thank you so much for sharing. We lost my mother in law to a very aggressive cancer last year. In a few weeks, it will be the first anniversary. She spent her last weeks in hospice care and every second of it was a blur. Like you, I wasn’t sure where some of the meals and favors came from but they were a much needed comfort in the midst of chaos. As we near the anniversary, your article reminded me that the support and togetherness we felt with those around us a year ago is still around us. Although we haven’t utilized it much, it’s a comfort to know it’s there as the grief gets stirred up again.

    • The whole grieving process comes in waves. The first year anniversary is another one. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother in law to cancer, Emily. Ours too was very aggressive in the end. It was a tough road for all so I feel your pain in so many ways.

  5. Very beautiful post and wonderful reminder that isolation is not the answer in times of struggle, community and friends are the key! So sorry for your loss.

  6. Cristi,
    So sorry for the loss of your mother! Losing a loved one that soon in life is hard!! I pray you are comforted daily by the memories of her!! So glad God blessed you and your family with a team of caring friends!! God truly blessed you all!!
    I can so relate to your story. My mom died when I was 44–dementia & chronic brain bleeds took her life. It was a blessing in a way as she had been bed ridden for two years. We had hospice for almost 1 year. They were wonderful people. They helped my dad so much. One of the hospice people had her husband get my dad a biscuit for breakfast. They sat with him and looked at wedding pictures and listened to him till family could get there! Then my sweet church jumped in and did a small family funeral and fed us.
    We are meant to live in community and need each other! People want to help you in your crisis!! I love to prepare meals for people when they have loved ones in hospital or sick at home. I get such a joy from that!! I want to pray for you or do whatever it is you need!!
    (((hugs)))
    Blessings 🙂

  7. Love this! When I clicked on to read I was confused by the title…but was instantly brought to tears when I realized the scripture. Wow! I do love how God has us as the “warrior” and “the hero.” It takes a lot of humility to allow our arms to be held up but oh how sweet it is to be in such a community. Thank you for putting it into words.

  8. What a beautifully told story about real life. Thank you for sharing and motivating me to show up and to let others do the same. Love you.