About the Author

Sarita Hartz is a writer, speaker, former missionary, and Nonprofit Director, who tackles issues of missions, infertility, travel, and how to live wholehearted, in her blog Whole. She just finished her first book and lives in California with her husband Tyson, and fur baby, Rosie.

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  1. What an incredibly brave post! All I can tell you is we have the same story and this is exactly the step he is asking for. No need for you to know how it turned out for me because you heard Him right… Loving you and praying for you, Liz

    • Thanks so much for the encouragement Liz! And appreciate your prayers 🙂 He makes His will clear in rest. I’m learning this

  2. Beautiful…I appreciate your honesty & transparency! You are blessed… Find hope in God alone. He lives in the lives of Those who fear Him!, And when we lay down our desires to follow wherever He leads, we find…Him to be faithful.
    For 8 long years I had Lupus & fibromyalgia, God in His sovereignty healed me of Lupus, after hearing His voice at a retreat. 16 yrs later, I have 3 active boys to chase. Sometimes I long for quiet moments… In whatever state we are in we are to be content.(not easy) 😉
    May the Lord sustain and comfort you in your journey. You are making a difference.
    *The main lesson I learned after years of illness was that my life was not my own, I belong to God. Designed for His glory & purpose. Blessings!

    • Thank you so much. Totally believing God for healing and to direct my steps. Appreciate your testimony!

  3. Hi Sarita, You are brave and beautiful. I have also struggled with infertility and my heart would be ever so heavy those months we had tried and couldn’t conceive. After my last miscarriage, I accepted that maybe just maybe, there could be joy even if God didn’t bless us with children.
    And the flip side is that there is freedom to travel on a whim and I enjoy those lazy Saturday mornings with my husband, sharing coffee and sleeping in. As with anything else in life, infertility means trusting God with the outcome and accepting that He is giving me His best every day. Thank you so much for sharing, Sarita.

    • Oh Veronica thank you for sharing. I know your heartbreak. I’m continuing to trust my Father as we seek Him for our next steps. But as you said, there can still be beauty in life, even in the waiting. I hope you’ll come over and subscribe to my blog as I talk about these issues frequently.

  4. Thank you for sharing. I have this story too. I’m at a true crossroads right now. My husband and I finally have received insurance coverage to enable us to do IVF. We have two adopted sweet kids. We haven’t totally given up Hope. I have endometriosis. We have tried 15 years of other treatments. All failed. We now have this opportunity and I too am feeling…is this all striving? Maybe I need to stop? Maybe I need to surrender this to God? I shared with my husband and he assured me this is a go, but I’m not totally convinced. How does one really know? Do I stop here?

    • Kiersten, it’s so hard! I know how you feel. I think you have to trust your intuition and God’s holy spirit inside you. With endometriosis many people do have to choose IVF and that may not be striving. I think it all depends on where your heart is. We still might go down the road of IVF and I’ll be blogging more about that, but it’s really about trusting God to lead you through the process and not feeling guilty about your choices when you make them. It’s truly amazing that you received insurance coverage b/c I know how rare that is, so perhaps that is a miraculous sign. I think it’s all about your perspective and cultivating a heart of rest, joy, and thankfulness in the midst of it all. Will be praying for you!

  5. I read this with the eyes of a woman longing for marriage and longing to hold onto the hope that that can still happen and exist in a life giving way. It’s hard to “just stop” and believe enough to enjoy. Thank you for your post.

    • Oh I know that longing. I didn’t get married until I was 28, and those long years of waiting left me heart sore, but also really prepared me. I started going after my dreams and eventually I found my man, but it is so hard to just rest and enjoy life in the in between. Thanks for sharing your heart!

      • My youngest just got married for the first time at age 32! Her hubs was never married either and was 35. Both had decided to just embrace singleness when God brought them together!

  6. Thank you for sharing so openly with us. My husband and I have went through the waiting process before, and also a miscarriage. His timing is always best and His ways are higher than our ways. All I know is when we think we need to figure it all out, it brings us to an overwhelming place. He longs to swoop into our hearts and carry us. You are right to listen to His still small voice. His voice may be opposite of what everyone else is saying but it doesn’t matter. God’s wisdom is different than the world’s ways. I am praying for you and pray God will give you more and more opportunities to make a positive impact on other women in this boat.

    • Thanks you Meghan, yes we are listening to that still small voice.

  7. I too walk this path. There is peace in the resting. Peace that even though I’m not ok with the lack, I’m ok in the lack…good even, full of joy. I don’t have to strive, just rest in God’s plan for me. Not my will but his be done.

  8. When I let go and let God decide when I was going to get pregnant, I finally did. I had stopped worrying and started exercising, losing weight and relaxing more when I found out that I was getting tired and other small signals began to surface. I was in disbelief at first and then I took the test. It didn’t even take a second for the strip to turn pink. Dazed and excited, I told my husband who threw down the weed eater in the yard and ran inside to read it for himself.

    Let go completely! Trust in God that he knows what’s best for you. I’ll say a prayer for you after I get done writing this. I love ya and I pray for God’s will in your life!

    • Surrender is so important in this path whatever that looks like for you as a person. I’m glad you got your miracle baby 🙂

  9. I’m at the point in our infertility journey that I am trying to rest and listen for God to tell me what to do! I hate to think I’m quitting or giving up on my dream…I know I just need to reshape my dream! Thank you for sharing and encouraging me to listen to His next step for me!

    • Such good insight Sandra. I really like that idea of “reshaping our dreams.” 🙂

  10. Thank you for sharing. I am 43. Single with no children. I desperately wanted a marriage and children. I have neither. Letting go and believing God has a plan and having FAITH in that plan is the hardest thing I’ve ever done…but my life is much happier because of that. I am still single and without children, but my heart is full and my faith helps me believe that there is a plan. It helps knowing I’m not the only one with this struggle.

    • Michelle, I’m exactly in the same position and similar age so I feel your pain. It is hard. I am getting where you are. I think I have to just keep moving forward… Much love xx

  11. I think we all go through this, and we really don’t want to. We want God to make it all right. You want a baby, I want a husband. The book that has helped me most is Plan B by Pete Wilson.
    It is so hard sometimes, and no understanding comes, just trust, we get to trust Him.

  12. Thank you for bravely speaking up for the many others struggling with infertility. With no family history or reasons why two out of three of my daughters were infertile. My second born adopted two babies and never did anything to aid or prevent pregnancy. When the kiddos were 11 and 10, surprise!, she got pregnant for the first time and now has three kids. Our oldest daughter struggled for 10 years of trying different treatments, she got pregnant three times and miscarried. Then came miracle daughter number one followed by number two 2 1/2 years later. The hardest thing I faced as a mom was watching my girls’ pain in dealing with this, the greatest joy was seeing their heart’s desire fulfilled. And just in case you wonder, my adopted and my bio grandbabies are all miracles to us and all equally precious to us.

    • Thanks for sharing Elizabeth. Yes, God can give us our miracles in different ways than we planned. That’s such a good reminder.

  13. Oh how I needed to hear this. I’m in the same place but not trying for as long. It’s only been a few months but my best friend got pregnant so quickly…I want a baby, a family, so badly. But I’m trying to focus on the things I couldn’t do with a baby-long date nights, buying new furniture, taking adventurous trips, but there’s still that ache. It’s just nice to know other people understand!

    • Yes, I definitely understand Sarah. It is an ache. I’m learning God can fill it, but that longing, that desire is still there, but I’m learning to live with the want while still having gratitude for this now moment. thanks for sharing!

  14. God bless all you sweet, precious souls in the waiting room yet struggling with just resting with what is! My daughter married at 35 and has walked your journeys. Now at 39 she knows the striving, the seeking of God’s face, and the heartbreak of losing the gift of life wondering why her body defies her. May God wrap His gracious arms around each of you. I don’t know your pain, your ache, and your longing. Only through my daughter. You are all brave women and the men standing with you!

  15. Thank you for writing this and sharing your heart! It couldn’t come at a better or more appropriate time. What a blessing to know we don’t have to go through this alone! Saying a prayer for your hearts desire and trusting God for all He has in store!

  16. This is so beautiful and speaks so clearly to me… I suffered my first miscarriage almost a year ago … I have 3 beautiful girls and find myself often daydreaming how life would be with 4 because I wanted to be the mom that had “4 by 34” … I can write for hours about this but wanted to let you know how much of an encouragement you have been to me … I praise God for you and your journey… Press on brave one!!! All the love, Yvonne

  17. Sarita,
    Praying for you to have peace no matter how this turns out! We need to listen to God more and stop doing things on our own. God knows what’s best for us right now!
    Blessings 🙂