I’m an introvert in every sense of the word. My energy comes from the revival of long stretches of time spent alone. I can go weeks without contact with another human — besides my husband or one of my children.
I’ve learned in recent years, however, this is not always the healthiest way to live.
We were made for community. Our lives are supplemented with beautiful, blossoming friendships. For so long, I viewed friends as a distraction, a time and energy consumer. It’s a sad and lonely way to live.
Not only did my desire to protect my large quantities of alone-time keep other people at bay, but the walls I built over the years also kept people at a safe distance. These walls erected over time from pain, rejection, trust issues, and all of the other circumstances life throws at us.
My dad left when I was very young. I never fully recovered from the sense of abandonment he left in me. I saw him briefly over the years, but we never realized the relationship I so desperately craved with him.
My father’s absence left a hole in me . . . that I sadly filled with addictions and friends who were making the same bad choices. When the time came to leave that life behind, breaking ties with all of the people in it was inevitable. A fresh start allowed me to leave those bad habits, but also took all of my old relationships away.
When I became a mom, my children quickly took over my life. I gladly threw myself into their needs and care. Yet, even with all of the joy and busyness of motherhood, I always felt something was missing.
Women need other women. We crave a sense of camaraderie, of truly belonging. As Mother Teresa so eloquently revealed:
“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”
I had no peace. Intimacy was a foreign word to me, one that eluded me for far too many years.
I recently began writing about the time I spent lost in addiction along with my other struggles in faith and life. This brought me a beautiful and welcoming online support community. It is truly an amazing and perfect way for an introvert like myself to find connection.
As my faith grows, God pulls me deeper into relationships with others. He continues to bring wonderful new blossoming friendships, both online and in real life. I’ve met so many loving Christian women I’m now honored to call my friends.
These women help to break down those walls my dad and other painful events constructed throughout my lifetime. One by one, the bricks are being demolished. I’m stepping out in faith and trusting others in a way I never imagined possible.
The introvert in me is still very much alive, which is certainly not a bad thing. I must retreat in solitude to find my balance and reenergize. However, having sweet friends to do life with is a truly nurturing gift from God.
If you are letting your walls block out friendship today, reach out and let someone in. Releasing your bricks will bring an incredible peace to your life you could never dream of.
“A friend loves at all times. They are there to help when trouble comes. {Proverbs 17:17, NIRV}
[linebreak]
Related: Schedule a coffee date with a friend. Invite her over for coffee in this inspirational mug and relax and enjoy the time together! It’s perfect for gifting too!
Leave a Comment