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At (in)courage, we empower women to be like Jesus. Our writers share what’s going on in their life and how God’s right in the middle of it. They bring their joys & struggles so that you can feel less alone and be empowered by the hope Jesus gives.

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  1. (in)courage (Lisa),
    Friendship, like marriage, takes work. In fact any relationship, including our relationship with God, takes being intentional. I’ve learned over many years that I can’t just sit back and wait for friendship to come to me. I need to be reaching out and trying to be a good friend myself. The closer my walk has grown with God, I try to listen to His nudging and His urging. It’s that little voice that says, “You haven’t heard from so and so for awhile…you need to give her a call.” When I heed His voice and come with a servant’s heart, I find that friendships continue to bloom and grow. I hear God’s urging through your post this morning 🙂

  2. LOVE this so much! I’ve found that friendship, like all relationships, takes work. Nurturing it, growing it…has to be intentional, because life is so busy. I have 4 kids (our oldest has Down Syndrome). There have been times when I just didn’t feel like I had anything left to give. It’s in those times that I’ve found if I will MAKE myself reach out to a friend…the refreshment and blessings that follow are immeasurable.

  3. You’re so right. Friendship is intentional. It doesn’t just happen like it did when we were girls. It takes purposeful spending time together, as you’re able. Some of my friends have grown children. We started the parent journey later than most, so my kids are 12 and 10. This affects the time I have to be with others.

    I’m blessed to be part of a group of friends who I call my Go Through Life friends. We’re doing life together. Celebrating birthdays, praying for each other when the hard stuff comes along. Helping with meals and childcare, as each is able. It’s a unique blessing.

    It can be hard to nurture friendships because it requires time. I’m learning how to place boundaries on my time, but to make time for connecting with friends. I’m not always good at it, but I’m working to become more intentional in seeing what friends are dealing with and praying about how I can come alongside them.

    Great post!

  4. I have three sisters and unfortunately due to divorce we have had 5 husbands. (I’m the only one currently married). I know how complicated the “sister act” gets with added people. I too have a special needs child who was a lot of work as my four were growing up. Now she is independent and will be 24 on Firday. Friendships have been a rough topic for the four, but they have their own friends. Now as we are adding the son-in-laws the girls are adjusting their own “sister act “.
    I am blessed with some great Christian sister of a variety of ages who cheer and support me.
    I don’t know what I do with out them.♡

  5. I was searching the comments for one like this. These posts are so hard for me and probably why I was drawn to this blog more recently. I have no sisters and I have girlfriends who just aren’t there. Life is insanely busy, but I’m willing to give time to friendships and sisterhood. I always seem to choose people who don’t, won’t, or can’t for whatever reason. It is hard to not think it is ME. I have awesome work relationships and feel very highly thought of, but I struggle with finding a group of “Go Through LIfe” friends. My heart literally aches when I read or say that.

    • Also, just wanted to add that the more I walk with God, the more I feel compelled to address this area of my life.

    • Sandra,
      Prayers that God will bring you 1-2 covenant friends! May God heal your heart and calm your troubled soul!! Friendship takes a lot of work, time and effort. It also requires intentionality. Some people just want friends for what they can get out of it–not to be true friends!! Try find a small group of people at church and opening up to 1-2 of them and see how God works!!!
      Blessings and Prayers 🙂

  6. No it is not you. Women can be very mean so our job so to speak is to not be mean back. I am going through a loss of a friend at this time…it hurts very deeply and I am so lonely but…God has a good plan for me and ending this friendship must have been his will for me. I know I am loved by Him and that is enough for now. Jesus will bring more friends into our life when the time is right. Sometimes He just wants us to focus on Him and He uses this lull of loneliness to bring us closer to Him. I wish I could see the bigger picture in all of this but for now I will pray harder and try to understand what this break up was all for. Good luck to you.

  7. Love this post by Lisa!
    Yes cultivating friendships as we age gets harder and harder. Maintaining those friendships is hard also! People change, lives get busier, people move, have children, change jobs, likes, dislikes, etc. To have friends you must first be the kind of friend you want/need. You must be intentional and call them often, send encouraging notes, etc. During this trying season of my life I truly need friends to pray for me and just be there. I do my best to “be there” for them.

  8. Julie,
    It is not YOU!!! Friendships take time and intentionality. Some people are just to busy to be bothered. Prayers for God to send 1-2 covenant friends who will help you as you go through life!
    One simple suggestion would be find a small group at church and open up to 1 or 2 people. You may be surprised how God works!
    Blessings and Prayers! 🙂

  9. Thanks for sharing this! I find friendships to be harder as I get older but I realize that they are the most important relationships to build as you reach adulthood. They also need to be nourished like a relationship/partnership which is what I found hard to accept at first.