About the Author

Bonnie Gray is the author of Sweet Like Jasmine, Whispers of Rest, wife, and mom to two boys. An inspirational speaker featured by Relevant Magazine and Christianity Today, she’s guided thousands to detox stress and experience God’s love through soul care, encouragement, and prayer. She loves refreshing your soul at...

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  1. Oh yes, these whitespace moments as a couple are so precious since having kids! We do “date nights” at home almost every week: we feed the kids and put them to bed, then eat dinner as a couple…no babysitter needed, but still a chance to chat with no interruptions! And we also go for a walk together in the dunes almost every Saturday, dropping the kids at their Oma and Opa’s in a town thirty minutes drive from us. Oma and Opa enjoy the alone time with them and we enjoy our alone time!

  2. My hubs surprised me when I picked him up at the bus stop and said lets just go sit on the beach and be together. It was so sweet and romantic! Your right though if I don’t plan it date night is non existent and we don’t even have kids at home. Tonight though will keep me smiling for awhile!

  3. Bonnie,
    I encourage you and applaud you on keeping your relationships in priority order. First and foremost is your relationship with your husband, because when the kids are grown and gone, it will be the two of you and if that relationship is allowed to wither by putting kids first, it will be a long, lonely journey into retirement. Intentionally or unintentionally, moms especially put their kids first and this is not what God had in mind. I find that when I do things His way, instead of my way, things ultimately work out better. Good for you, too, for dropping the expectations…men aren’t mind readers 🙂 Great post and godly wisdom!
    Blessings,
    Bev

    • So very true Bev! Married 35 years, my husband and are now empty-nesters who are too young to retire just yet, but we both are home-based. This has been a time of testing for us, but one of growing. Really makes one take stock.

  4. I NEED to do this! Thank you for the reminder. I have felt lonely and disconnected even though everything in my life “seems” perfect. This time AWAY talking together, even if it’s just outside at our house, is what I really miss <3 I will be doing this 🙂

    • @beckyteegardenrunyan:disqus yes.. it’s soul important.. just stepping out, into another space… even outside the porch.. holding hands with a cup of tea & on the porch.. 😉

  5. I need to do this. We haven’t done this with all of my husband’s health issues. We are drained.

  6. I need to do this, also. My hubby and I have a special Saturday morning routine of coffee in bed. Whichever one wakes up first, makes the coffee and we share some pleasant time of coffee and conversation. However, I can’t remember the last time we went out on a “date.” So we’ve now chosen a night next month to do this.

  7. My husband and I started ‘date night’ about 6 months ago! Even though we are empty nesters, we anticipate the 1st and the 15th! Those dates are the night we go out as a couple and enjoy each other! Nothing fancy, might be even a burger joint but we are celebrating our love!

  8. This is good stuff. Didnt do this enough. Both our faults. Have hit rough spots that need prayers and healing.

  9. This is so good. I love ‘like extra padding date nights break our fall, instead of breaking us’. Now that’s something to live by. I’m off to organise our next date night..I too had forgotten how important they are. Thank you

  10. Since our little one lived in a preemie bubble for the first 2 months it’s been a challenge to remember that it’s ok to leave her with others now, but we’re getting better about it. Last weekend we revisited the place of our first date 🙂

  11. I’m from England originally, my husband is from Maine. On his first trip to England he was worried that I was going to break up with him. Unbeknownst to him I had purchased a silver thermos to give him as a present before he left. He had once told me a story about how his mom would send his dad to work everyday with a silver thermos full of soup, and that to his little boy mind that’s what real love was, that’s what showed you were married to someone and cared for them. Well he started to get upset and so I pulled out the thermos. It was the first time I ever saw him cry, but he never though we were breaking up again. I haven’t thought about that in years. He spends so much money during the day buying bad gas station coffee, I’m going to pull it out on Monday and start sending it to work with him. What a great reminder that 12 years and 2 (almost 3) kids later, he’s still my love. Thanks for the reminder Bonnie. Love the book by the way.

  12. Thank you so much for this post today. I have had these same feelings about date night never happening, yet I never take the time. I always thought he should. I will now change my thought process and put forth the time and energy. Today I also had my first panic attack since eight years ago. My husband was by my side struggling watching me. I need to put more spiritual whitespace in my life. Looking forward to sitting down with your book soon!

  13. I have tried to ask for date nights once a month. Your suggestion of scheduling one and making some plans–even for a walk in the park is great! I’m in a season of frustration with aging parent & work stresses. I need my tank refilled with romance. I think I’ll plan a date night this weekend & surprise him!
    When dating we would get together as often as possible and go out places now 11 years later we don’t do dates any more. I guess age, work & life stresses just get to you. Here’s to spiritual whitespaces and dates nights!!
    Blessings 🙂

  14. Wonderful post, Bonnie. I well remember how delightful it was to spend “grown-up” time with my husband, during the years of mothering three small children. Your ideas for making it happen are valuable indeed. And you’re right: we never know when those connective times will hold us together during a crisis.