I was chatting with some girlfriends recently about blog ideas. One of them said, “I want to start a blog called I’m a Loser Mom.” We all laughed and then started talking about how different our actual lives look compared to our Facebook lives. We joked about getting up later than we wished, posting Instagram pictures of our messy rooms, feeding our kids sugary cereals for breakfast, and popping in a movie one too many times.

Do you ever feel like a loser mom? If so, you’re in good company. We all feel like losers at times. Knowing this will allow us not to grovel in self-pity but instead relate to one another. We can love one another rather than compete or envy when we realize that we are all in this together. Really. Not one of us has it together. This is good news, friends.

Now, there are definitely days when I wake up at 5 a.m. and get a lot done, the kids are obedient, I read my Bible, and I work out. But because life is hectic, kids are unpredictable, sickness comes, cars break down, hormones rage, and schedules collide. Sometimes my life looks like a tornado blew through — and my home reflects it. I’m not saying there isn’t peace and grace in the chaos; I’m simply saying life doesn’t always look as perfect as we depict (or desire).

We don’t need to succumb to the pressures of looking magazine perfect — you know, like the Southern Living style homes, Martha Stewart table settings, and Food Network meals. Magazine perfection is an illusion. Every publication employs talented artists whose sole duty is to manipulate the images to present something that isn’t quite real. I’ve been in commercials, and it’s not real. (I was once in a commercial for the Knoxville area bus line — yes, the bus company — and I was the ticket agent. Giggle.) As just one example, the food (though it looks great) is fake. And if it is real, there have been a few “takes” to get it just right. Photoshop can make anything look fabulous.

There is nothing wrong with the pursuit of all things diligent, organized, and hardworking. The Lord commends the hard worker. Proverbs 18:9 warns that “whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys.” When I wake up in the morning I’m not thinking, I want today to be chaotic. Life just works out that way sometimes. We must aim to glorify the Lord in all we do and rest in the Savior, who doesn’t place on us pressures for perfection.

Ladies, here’s the good news: you aren’t a loser. You are made in the image of God {Genesis 1:26}, you are fearfully and wonderfully made {Psalm 139:14}, and the Lord rejoices over you with gladness {Zephaniah 3:17}. He doesn’t look at you and determine whether He will accept you based on your practices. He looks at His Son. How freeing is that?

Aren’t these truths about the Lord’s delight much better to meditate on than Southern Living ads or the latest recipe or design project on Pinterest, or what you see your sister doing or not doing on social media? Next time I look at my messy living room, which I did intend to clean but instead tended to the immediate needs of my children, I’ll think of God’s delight over me. And as I seek after Him and His kingdom, He will give me all I need {Matthew 6:33; 13:44}.

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Trillia Newbell is the author of Fear and Faith: Finding the Peace Your Heart Craves. Her writings on issues of faith, family, and diversity have been published in the Knoxville News-Sentinel, Desiring God, Christianity Today, Relevant Magazine, The Gospel Coalition, and more.

She is currently the Director of Community Outreach for the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission for the Southern Baptist Convention. Along with writing, she is pursuing her M.A. in biblical counseling from Southern Theological Seminary. You can find her at  trillianewbell.com and follow her on Twitter at @trillianewbell.

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