I took a shortcut through the woods that night.
Trees leaned across the narrow lane as if to close me in. After several minutes of driving, I glanced at the gas gauge; it was at almost empty. I turned the car around and suddenly there was a maze of choices.
I’m not going to lie. I almost panicked. The last thing I wanted to do was to go deeper in the darkness or take a walk if I ran out of gas.
I stopped the car and prayed.
Lord, help me. I’m really lost. I don’t know which way to turn.
When I turned the key, I noticed a glimmer of light in the distance. It flashed quickly and then was gone. I turned toward the light and within minutes I was back on the highway.
That was years ago. I was a naïve city girl living in the country for the first time. But this past month has felt the same way. My guy is sick. The guy I love. The one that makes me laugh until I run to the bathroom. The man that I have loved for my entire adult life.
We are clearly at a crossroads as we make hard decisions and weigh all of our options, none of them that we really want.
Two days after Richard was diagnosed, I sat on my living room floor, my Bible close.
My God even closer.
Lord, help me. I’m really lost. I don’t know which way to turn.
Just as He did years ago, I sense God asking me to turn toward the Light. For in the crossroads, I can only see what is in front of me. I can only feel what is inside. And to make it interesting, there’s an enemy trying to lead me deep into the darkness of fear.
But I’m no longer that young girl lost in the woods.
Richard and I have faced many crossroads together, and in the process we’ve discovered that crossroads are where we find God.
Several years ago we owned a small farm. Richard worked so many hours that we stopped counting. We bought the farm during a prosperous time, but the economy suffered and prices fell. Supply prices soared. No matter how hard we both worked, we fell in to a financial bind. We were young with three children.
We were totally in love and filled with faith, but the crossroads kept coming.
The pantry had minimal supplies. We paid one bill, only to see ten more arrive in the mail.
We were exhausted, spiritually and physically.
The only assurance that I had at that time was that God was bigger, wiser, more providential than either of us, and that He had our future nestled in His hands.
He was our Light. Our strength. One small glimmer at a time.
There was just enough Light to help us take the steps needed. It wasn’t easy, but we weren’t alone.
And here we are again.
I’m not sure where this current path leads, but I know one thing for certain . . .
This girl is reaching with both hands for the Light.
Related: For a sweet reminder to keep focused on the Light, enjoy the elegant Shine Your Light ~ Pillow Cover.Leave a Comment
Thank you for this reminder that we are never alone when we trust in God’s plans for us.
I pray that you are encourage today. God is so good to put us right where we need to be even if we can’t see the forest for the trees. In my experience it just makes you hold a little tighter to Jesus…to depend on Him more and to know He knows is comforting. Many blessing to you!
This spoke to me today, thank you.
Praying for you sweet girl! Thank you for sharing.
I’m praying for you and your husband today. Thank you for sharing! May God bless you and your beautiful family ❤️ Xo
DA Schuhow says
Oh girl, I know where you are and I echo that stubborn grasp for the light.
Thank you for this precious reminder to keep looking to the light. May God bless you and continue bringing you peace through whatever comes on this path of the unknown of your husband’s illness. May God hold you close.
Your image brought this Scripture to mind:
How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men
find refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast in the abundance of your house,
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.
And through the darkness I’ve felt overcome me recently, I’ve kept seeing a speck of light drawing me back out. He is faithful and we can ALWAYS find refuge in the shadow of His mighty wings.
Thank you again for sharing this beautiful truth in the light!
Mary Hood says
Even if I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee. PS 139:11,12
Praying for you at this time. I have been in much darkness in my life and have found that hope is there and He is that hope and He is that light so even though all looks dark you can’t make a wrong turn when your hope is Jesus. Thank you for your beautiful words and transparent heart.
Trudy Den Hoed says
I’m so sorry you find yourselves at such a difficult crossroads again, Suzanne. May God lead you both and keep you close. And thank you for such an encouraging post. “There was just enough Light to help us take the steps needed. It wasn’t easy, but we weren’t alone.” So comforting!
Danna Anderson says
Great word Suzanne! Me and my family will be praying for continued light in God’s word for you and your husband. And that the Peace and comfort of God our father sustain you both during the next months. God Bless you and Complete healing to your husband in Jesus name!!!
Two years ago, I found myself with a diagnosis that I could do nothing about. Absolutely nothing. God met me at my desk that afternoon and as I surrendered the disease to Him, He replaced it with an unexplainable peace. That peace that passes understanding. He was faithful to walk with me through the hard, dark, uncertain days. I know He will do the same for you. I held onto Ephesians 3:20, “He is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think.” and Psalm 103:1-5, particularly verse 3, “who forgives our sins and heals our diseases”. I will praying His peace will cover your family in the days ahead.
Susan G. says
Thank you Suzie.
Praying for Richard. Praying for you.
God is near.
Melanie Davis Porter says
What a testament of faith. Beautiful Suzie! Thank you – you encourage me – and always on the days I seem to need it most. Thank you dear. Praying for you and your guy!
Heather Burgess Iseminger says
I love this…so much. Thank you for bravely sharing and leading us to His light through your pain. Because crossroads? I never want to go them alone.
Beth Williams says
Prayers for you and your family! May God show you what direction to go regarding your hubby’s health! Prayers for a quick healing!!
Last year I was in a grasp for direction, & light. I moved my aging father into assisted living and dealt with his many health issues, hubby almost los his job, and my job changed & I dreaded going to work. Didn’t know what to do but pray, pray and pray some more. Thankfully dad is holding his own now, hubby has good job with same company and my job-well it’s ok. God saw me through that dark time!
Amy M says
My heart just aches reading this. Praying for you all!
Dear Suzanne, I have been praying for you since you posted about your husband’s illness. I have been praying daily for you, him, and your precious family ever since. Your recent post brought sadness to my heart. But I know that God has a plan, and that He is working it out, even while you are struggling through the darkness. Know that you are prayed over and that there is a purpose for every suffering. Romans 8:28
You have been a blessing in my life as I have been reading your messages for a long time. God bless you, Suzanne, and remember you are loved!
In Christ, Ann
“…crossroads are where we find God.”
Thank you for sharing.