My little one brought me a photo album she found in the bottom of the closet. She curled up beside me and opened it. We snuggled on the couch while we slowly flipped the pages.
She stopped at an old picture of me, standing against a car, looking forlorn. “What’s wrong with you, Mom? You look so sad.”
I looked at the picture and wondered how it ended up in a recent photo album. A flood of memories hit me hard. “I was sad. I wanted to be a mom so bad. I lived in sadness because it took so long. Those were my wasted years,” I said, surprised at how bitter my words sounded.
“What does that mean? Wasted?” she asked.
I wished I could take back the words. “Honey, I just couldn’t see very far in front of me. I sort of lived out of focus.”
She thought about my answer and flipped the page to a more recent picture of the two of us, laughing.
“Well, maybe there’s no such thing as wasted years.”
Her words hit me hard. There are no wasted years.
“Yeah. Maybe it’s just how you look through the lens,” I whispered and traced the picture of us with my finger.
I thought of the good years, when smiles came easily, and of the harder ones, when they didn’t. And I could hardly separate the two because perspective is the best looking glass.
The lean years when there wasn’t enough money make me appreciate the years of plenty more.
The lonely marriage years remind me to be grateful for the intimate ones.
The long years of infertility overshadow hard parenting moments.
Nothing is wasted.
God uses everything — every failure, every success, every crooked path, and obstacle on our journey for His Glory.
He is the One who bottles our tears and promises to wipe them from our eyes.
He is the One who turns our sorrow into rejoicing and our weeping into dancing.
He is the One who comforts us with his rod and staff in the valley of the shadow of death.
It’s so easy to look behind us and see the lessons we’ve learned and the growth we’ve accomplished. But in the middle of a dark night, it’s really hard to see our hand in front of our face, much less reach for His.
And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” (I Peter 5:10)
That mountain in front of you, that diagnosis, that looming trial — do not fear, God is with you and He wastes nothing.
by Kristen Welch, We are THAT familyLeave a Comment