About the Author

Renee Swope is a Word-lover, heart-encourager, and grace-needer. She's the best-selling author of "A Confident Heart" and her new book, "A Confident Mom" is releasing Fall 2021. Renee is also the familiar voice of a friend to women around the world as former Proverbs 31 Ministries' radio co-host and executive...

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  1. Renee,
    Powerful, direct and a good dose of just what I needed. Your post made me realize just how many times I catch myself saying, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me?” Some of us have had a past of a verbal abuser telling us all the things that are wrong with us. Satan is very sly in that he plays upon doubts that others have placed in our minds as well as our own doubts and then to boot he creates false doubts (lies). He really is a “sneak”!! He knows that if he disables us then we cannot be of any good to further Christ’s Kingdom. If we find ourselves asking “What’s wrong with me?” that needs to be our red flag that Satan is at work. Thank you for this beautiful outpouring of truth this morning! Love your posts…
    Blessings,
    Bev

    • You’re right Bev, Satan is a sneak. Cunning and sly for sure. And the more we’re aware of the lies, the red flags and indicators of his mind games – the quicker we can call his bluff and grab onto God’s truth 😉 Love that we get to do this learning and growing {together}! I’m better for it. 🙂

  2. Renee,
    I believe this is the biggest challenge we face in living out the life God has intended for us. When I listen to the nagging whispers of Satan it cripples me. I have spent too many seasons listening to lies and not experiencing the abundant life meant for me in God’s truth.
    I am doing a series of lessons with a group of middle school students at my school on knowing, believing, and living out our identity in Christ. My desire is to help them learn early on who they are so they don’t have to struggle as long as I have.
    It’s crazy to me that I can know these truths and I believe them but still struggle SO much with the enemy on my back. I will cling to the only hope I have and that is the truth of God’s great love for me and the sacrifice Christ made for us all!
    I could use some extra prayer for this very thing in my life right now. Thank you for these reminders today!
    Blessings to you!
    Melanie

    • Melanie, I love that you are giving away what you wish you had by helping a group of middle school students know, believe, and live in their identity in Christ!! Clinging with you to the truth of God’s great love for me and the sacrifice Christ made for us all!

  3. Words do not adequately express it by Thank You for this article. I found it to be well written and communicates your message in a very straight forward way.
    I strongly believe that any woman regardless of their background (I’m from Barbados in the Caribbean) can identify with that question “What’s wrong with me?” especially since, in most instances its following from comparing ourselves to what we perceived to be another woman’s “perfect life” or some unrealistic image portrayed within our communities and the world at large, etc.

    Thanks once again

    • Thank you for encouraging words Rashida and for sharing how, no matter where we’re from or how old we are, we {{all}} struggle with feeling inadequate and need to know that perfect is overrated and unrealistic. And in God’s eyes, we’re more than enough – even with our forgetfulness, confusion, and frazzled thoughts. 🙂 So glad you stopped by today.

  4. Though I do think that your overall point is truth (that Satan likes to distract and deceive us by demoralizing us and making us feel ashamed), I think it’s important to note that there IS something wrong with us, and we ARE, in fact, quite inadequate for the tasks the Lord has planned for us. It’s because of that that we need the Lord. It’s solely Him living in us that allows us to be more than conquerors – we have to remember that He chose us, not the other way around. We have nothing to offer him but our hearts, and when we do that, he can do amazing things through us in spite of our lack.

    • Hi Laura. So appreciate your perspective. You are right, we cannot fulfill God’s purpose or assignments for our lives without Jesus. Based on what you shared, I added a couple of words to clarify in the post that “with Christ (in) us, there is nothing wrong with us.”

      But I do want to share my heart a little more on this. For the woman who is still taking steps closer to the heart of God, learning about His unfailing love and redemption through Christ, I think God wants her to know she has an enemy who feed her lies that will make her feel like a big old mistake.

      I think Jesus wants her to realize He comes to her defense, even before she knows she needs Him. And that HE wants her to see that mistakes (like the ones I mentioned) don’d define her. She’s not a defect or reject. She’s chosen, pursued and dearly loved by Her Maker and her Redeemer who is waiting for her to turn to Him. 🙂

    • As I read through this devotion, my thoughts were drawn to similar places as Laura’s. I, too, see the importance of identifying and addressing Satan’s lies that we may be believing. It’s just that what I see to be the first and primary lie that Satan convinced Eve to believe was that what God had instructed them about not eating of the tree of life wasn’t true. She didn’t believe God’s command for them was good enough. Her desire for more than what God had already provided was greater than her trust in God’s goodness and trustworthiness. I have seen this self-focus in my own heart.

      However, I embrace the need to see the love and the power of our Redeemer to break us free of this sinful tendency. So, then the “wrong” in us can be made right through what Christ did on the cross. With this faith which is given to those of us who believe in Him, we die to sin and come alive (in) Christ. Yet, even in this new beginning, isn’t there a struggle with the flesh and the Spirit of Christ? I know personally I have felt the same cry in my heart that Paul wrote about in Romans 7, “What a wretched (woman) I am! Who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!”

      When someone is struggling with the “What’s wrong with me?” feelings, I can see that your heart, Renee, is to help us see that Satan can attempt to get us more focused upon the “wrong” rather than Christ’s “right” in us. This is so very important, and I know I need this reminder daily. I guess I find it just as important to acknowledge this struggle we feel within can reflect a battle between the flesh and the Spirit as the Lord is “killing” the remaining sin in us. Yes, (in) Christ, we are more than conquerors of our tendency for autonomy as well as Satan’s scheme to get us to forget that when we put our faith in Christ, we are “chosen, holy and dearly loved” by God.

      I pray that my perspective on this is taken with the heart of love that I intend to share with. I love truth and grace in Christ and I love you all as believers in Him! Bless you.

  5. Thank you for this message Renee. I needed it this morning. Love how God sends the right words at just the right time!

    • I just love hearing how His timing and His leading were perfect for your heart Lynne. I wasn’t sure what to write about this week, but then He led me in this direction. Jesus knows just what we need, doesn’t He?

  6. I’m in tears as I write this comment in response to your timely post today. In fact, I have been in tears all morning. It’s been a rough one for me. As Bev said earlier, when you have an abuser in your past, it’s hard to overcome those thoughts of what has been spoken over me. I keep being reminded of how “horrible” I am and this morning, I lost my strength. I forgot who God says I am and began to let the words wash over me in condemnation. I began to question my heart and think I’m truly an awful person. The truth is though, that is NOT the truth! Through Christ, I have been set free and am covered by His amazing grace. Satan attacked me this morning, and through you listening to the urging of the Holy Spirit, God has reminded me of His power and presence in my life. I cannot thank you enough! I believe I will keep this post as a reminder… because unfortunately, I need it often. THANK YOU SO MUCH Renee. For letting God lead you. You (and He) have touched my heart.

    • Angie,
      Lifting you up right now in prayer that through the Holy Spirit working in and through you, you would be able to denounce the lies of others and the lies of Satan and would be able to breath in the TRUTH about how God sees you. God loves you and He delights in you…you are indeed covered by His grace.
      Bev xx

    • Oh Angie. What a gift to read your note. What an honor it is to love on you with TRUTH that YOUR Heavenly Daddy wants you to hear – again and again!!! This week I had to preach to myself a lot. Out loud so I could record over the enemies accusations in my thoughts.

      I encourage you to write down the truths of His love for you, read them out loud, pray them out loud and let your mind hear them more times than they ever heard your accuser and abuser. Sometimes it’s not enough to know them, sometimes we need to hear them and re-record over those old ugly messages.

      Here are 2 FREE resources that would be really helpful:
      http://reneeswope.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/DontThrowAwayYourConfidence.pdf

      http://www.reneeswope.com/files/amfmthoughts.pdf

    • Angie,

      Prayers for you my sister! May God swoop down and whisper His truths into your heart! Prayers that you would see yourself as beautiful, wonderful, smart and a Great Christian! 🙂 God and all of us love you and want only the best for you! May God’s truths sink deep deep into your heart and head!

      AMEN 🙂 (((((Hugs)))))

  7. I often am the one causing me the most trouble. I buy into Satan’s lie and Bingo! There I am in the “What is wrong with me?” lane. I do need to see the enemy coming, and deflect his arrows with God’s truth. I have had a bad week-actually a bad two months of illness. “Why me?” “What have I done to deserve this?” Oh yeah-I say all of that. I needed to hear your words from God this morning, Renee. Thank you!!!! God is good all the time-regardless of Satan’s lies.

    • Jesus, I pray You’d give Mary Ellen an overwhelming sense of Your comfort, a deposit of Your peace, a portion of Your strength, and a reminder of Your love today. Assure her with your Truth that she is Yours and her hardships are not punishment, but likely problems that come from living in a fallen world and falling prey to the lies that Satan wants to use the hard stuff to separate her heart from Yours. Dont let Him Lord!! Greater is HE who is in her, than the one who is against her. In Jesus name, amen.

      Here are some statements to help you change the way you talk to your heart. Praying they will bless and equip you!!

      http://www.reneeswope.com/files/amfmthoughts.pdf

  8. Thank you for this post. I’m encouraged to know so many woman and probably men struggle with this. I’ve been dealing with this in spades for the past couple years. I appreciate this encouragement with words of truth. I’m praying for each person here that is struggling today. Let’s not forgot we have victory through Christ so Satan can try to beat us up in a daily fight but Jesus already won our war and kicked the enemies butt.

  9. Renee as others have expressed, this was a very timely message. You so beautifully expressed the truth of who we really are and how delighted the Lord is in us…because we are His creation. So we need to trust in that truth to quiet the negative self-talk. I am being intentional every moment with every thought to be kind to myself with positive thoughts. And so grateful to Lord for His mercy, grace, and love. Give thanks to the Lord for your ministry that encourages and empowers women to live their lives in the will of God. Many blessings.

  10. Wow Renee, you really nailed it. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve belittled myself with my words as I look back over perceived failings. God has been teaching me about speaking words of life. Your post resonated with me because one of my boys frequently speaks words of condemnation about himself. I’m planning to share parts of your post with him.

    These are vital truths. Thank you for sharing!

    • YES!! I LOVE that you are going to share these truths with your son. Praying that our kids will hear us speaking God’s truth to our hearts – out loud – so they learn to do the same! Thank you for sharing that idea.

  11. Oh that the truth of who we are would not just be in our heads but reach our hearts and transform our lives! Thanks so much for calling us out to recognize the enemies tactics and the power of words.

  12. Thank you I needed this today as I woke up this morning feeling defeated and feeling like I have nothing to offer to anyone. I get so discouraged at times. Have spent a lot of my morning in tears. Thank you for the encouragement. Hopefully my day will go better now.

  13. Wow, this was meant especially for me. God is showing/helping me to answer the negative thoughts with thoughts of who I am in Him.

  14. Renee,
    Thank you and God bless you!
    Your message came at the right time. Just this morning thoughts of things I have done had me believing that’s why I thongs are not working out for me in relationships. I told God how I felt.
    He answered me. I am more than a conqueror through Him that loves me. Thank You God for your unfailing love.
    I needed this and God knew exactly what I needed. Amen

  15. Thank you, Sister in Christ, for this message. Just last week, Satan got in my head and I allowed him to come between between me and my boyfriend. It was a horrible fight, and it started all because I was doubting myself and our relationship. After too many years off and on, we are finally moving towards marriage, and I don’t need Satan to hurt what God has brought together. Thank you!

  16. I so identify with what you have written. The enemy has tried to trip me up so many times. I internally beat myself up when I make negative comments to myself about how I fail and I can never do things the “right” way. It is so important to anchor my thoughts on things above that will give me encouragement and inspire me to focus on the Lord. My low self esteem always makes me regret my choices and decisions but I am a new creature in Christ and must see myself in a new way. I thank Him for freeing me from the chains of doubt and negativity. Your words have given me joy and hope.

  17. Thank you God for using Renee to deliver this message that I needed so desperately today. It has been hard to keep from judging myself harshly with the constant rejection that comes with job hunting while unemployed. As our financials become more serious, the threats and assaults on my esteem become more steady. Help me to keep in mind that YOU work through me and it is simply a matter of finding where You want me to be.

  18. Thank you so very much Renee. I need this. When I was little I was told I was helpless good for nothing and ugly, and I have believe this all my life. I am old very old and I still believe it, but with The Lord’s help I will try to not believe it. I have my drivers license since 1976, but never dared to drive on busy streets I drive only very short distances, I have to drive now because my husband is very sick in an adult home.
    I love you

  19. Wow!
    This hit me like an arrow straight to my heart!!!
    With Christ (in) you, there is nothing wrong with you – and don’t let anyone, not even yourself, convince you otherwise.
    and I am at my desk at work…sobbing…
    thank you Jesus for reminding me that you love me!!!

  20. Thank you Renee. I need to read this over & over. I struggle so every day with lies I tell myself and satan is glad to help. The lies have affected our family. My teen age daughter has decided I’m not worth saying hello or good morning to. It is so hard, because I know I made mistakes (didn’t we all?) but there is no grace right now. Satan has been whispering lies for so long; I’m just beginning to realize the depth of the gospel of grace – it has taken so many years! pray for me to cling to Jesus and put away the lies.

  21. Thank you for this. In the past few months I’ve come to realize that our insecurities say more about how we feel about ourselves and about how others feel about us. It was a painful realization since my insecurities stem from think that people don’t really like or value me. I struggle to convince myself otherwise. I know that negative self talk is a major roadblock to this and that I need to ground myself in the Word of God. God’s Truths are stronger than the Devil’s Accusations.

  22. Thank u for these words, and an enlightening reminder. Indeed, many times, I do feel inadequate…lousy…insecure, and that leads to decisions that are fear-based, instead of from His Truth. Praying that I’ll stand firm on His Word that says I’m more than a conqueror in Him!

  23. Thank you for posting. I really needed this message today. It was a rough one and I blew it on so many levels that I could just curl up somewhere and beat myself up with, “What is wrong with you??” But instead I’m going to resist such emotional abuse to myself and write my own blog post encouraging all of us Momma’s that we are awesome!!!!! I am awesome!!!

  24. This is so powerful, I have always struggled within myself trying to figure out why I make mistakes while others seem to be living a ‘perfect’ life. your message this morning has encouraged me to realize that God does not want us to be perfect but to trust Him through His Living Word.

  25. I saw myself so much in this devotion. I let the evil one put these thoughts in my mind. Need to remember that Christ died for me and that I am worthy
    and a confident women.

  26. Thank you so much for those words. I am constantly questioning myself and really needed that message today. Every time I fail which seems a lot lately I ask those questions. Thank you for the powerful message of truth,

  27. Thank you. I will be printing this out and tucking in my bible to reread when the lies get loud.

  28. Thank you so much for sharing this ive been having a hard struggle with this very subject for a long time especially in regards to my thought life. Thoughts will pop in my head and I was getting really discouraged because I didn’t know if I was causing them or if it was the enemy .
    This post is very helpful:)

  29. Wow! All in perfect timing! I have been struggling so much over the past few months with issues that leave me feeling like a failure in my personal life. I find myself arguing with myself over my self worth, my marriage, and my parenting. I know this is Satans way of attacking me and I am not ready to give in! Please pray that I can listen to God and obey him so that Satan can stop trying to play games with me! Pray that I can hear Gods voice only! Thank you for your daily posts. They usually are all in perfect timing and I enjoy reading them.

  30. For many years I would say to myself what is wrong with me because i felt shame from past sexual and verbal abuse. It wasn’t until 3 years ago that I decided to go into Christian Counseling and share my story and in my church started a healing and hurting ministry. Thank you for sharing because lately I have felt the attacks from Satan!

  31. That hit me right in my mind when I heard; What is wrong with me? I have felt that way for so long. I have put myself down for 60 years of my 68year life. I sit at night and cry WHY am I so stupid? I was made to feel like a looser ,I was fat and called lazy by my parents before I can’t remember when. I am married to the most wonderful man and he gives me strength beyond any man would. We had 3 children and they turned out better simply because after I saw what I was doing to our oldest in her youth, I stopped, and started praising her. The other two were raised with lots of love and they don’t have the problems I and my oldest daughter have. For me to try and find a counselor is so hard because we haven’t gone to church for so long… I feel like I need to start all over there. I have kept GOD in my own personal life but not like I need to. I am sure he has given up on these two people that find it easier to work instead of go to church. My personal strength has gone away to the tune I can’t take enough pills to fee “better” anymore. What does a person like me do? I have given up on me now and put up with my body pain and my brain telling me “I am no good”. I have told you because I found I can type how I feel right now. I will take a phone call if you think there is some way to get me straightened out. My phone is 260-347-2925 My name is Karen.

  32. One of my faves so far….timely. Going to sleep now feeling ‘ incouraged’. God is good all the time.

  33. Thanks Renee! One of my biggest struggles and fears. Thank you of this powerful reminder of who I truly am in Christ!!! Blessings

  34. Thank you for this. I constantly have brain chatter, reminding me of all of the things I do wrong. It is a slow process for me to cease the noise and remember the truth.

  35. Renee,

    This hit the nail on the head for me! Such Powerful, direct writing.

    For the past few years at work I would berate myself a lot–well Satan would. I would hear “stupid, dumb, ugly, not good enough, Etc. Every time I made a mistake, or didn’t do something just right or was told not do something I would hear those lies. it got so bad I would cry often and berate myself.

    I know the truths of God, go to church weekly and do Bible studies–but that doesn’t make it any easier. I just need to breathe in and soak up more of God’s truths

    Blessings 🙂