The Lord will be your everlasting light. Isaiah 60:20
I drove down the highway holding my breath. My mind was racing. Did they say they spent the entire weekend together – without me? Yes, I think that is what they said.
I dropped my purse and logged into Facebook. Yes, there it was: proof that they had spent a weekend together – laughing and eating and chatting… without me.
My thoughts were all over the place. But, I’m really nice. But, I’ve invested years in these relationships. I’ve given my time and gifts and surprises and talents… but, they didn’t choose to be around me? Have I been investing time in something that isn’t reciprocated?
I was sent back to my seventh grade self. I remember so clearly when a group of girls had notebooks that they passed around with secrets. They made a point to tell me about them, but I was never allowed to have them or be a part of their circle.
I’ll be forty next year. Why was I feeling like I was thirteen again?
The Lord will be your everlasting light. Isaiah 60:20
I emailed three of my dearest friends right away. These friends are safe. They are prayer warriors and not gossipers. I knew I could tell them a little of the situation without the danger of spreading anger or gossip. I knew they would shine His truth and grace onto the situation.
They immediately covered me in prayer, encouragement, and wisdom. I’ll never forget what one of them said: “I’m praying for you to discern between covering it in love and calling it out.”
I sighed deeply – Truth, Confidence, and Direction – all beautiful, life giving qualities of light.
The truth is that when light is shined on situations, we realize we never knew all the details. To assume so much was a complete lack of grace on my part. It showed me that my heart desired too much of this world and my eyes were not resting on Him.
I have the confidence that in my darkness of loneliness, light will always find me when I open my eyes. In this case, it told me that I must let go and rest my gaze on His beauty.
No matter how old I am – thirteen or thirty-nine, I am constantly reminded that The Lord alone is my light. He is my constant. He never leaves me out or forgets me.
May I encourage you to find a group of women who love the Lord with all their hearts? A group that looks to Him alone for what to do in those tough situations?
The Lord will be your everlasting light. Isaiah 60:20
I’ll be praying for you, dear one. I’ll be praying for the times that you feel forgotten and left out. I’ll be praying that you discern whether to cover it in love or call it out. And I’ll be praying that you are always reminded that the Lord alone is your everlasting light.
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Leave a Comment
Sharon says
Thanks for writing this. I read this today at just the right time.
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
Dear Sharon, I am so glad it came at the right time. I’ll be praying for you today, to feel especially loved and remembered.
Lois Flowers says
You definitely are not alone when it comes to those awful seventh-grade flashbacks, Kate! I love how you found your way out of that darkness. Like you, I’m so thankful for wise friends who are willing to speak truth when I need to hear it. Thank you for this encouraging post!
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
Lois, you are so welcome! Sometimes, it can be so comforting to know we are not alone in how we feel. Yes, thank goodness for wise and true friends!
Suzanne says
I needed this today. Thanks for the encouragement.
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
You are so welcome!
Missy says
This exact scenario happened to me several years ago. I made the decision to call it out, and the explanation I received was simply, “You’re not that kind of friend.” I’m a pastor’s kid, and now a minister’s wife, and I carry a lot of battle scars from the life. This cut open a world of wounds and rocked me to my core. I am thankful that my worth is mor determined by people, but by my Abba father.
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
I am so sorry that happened to you. Yes! Our heavenly Father loves us so much! It can be easy to lose sight of that truth when we struggle in our human relationships. I will pray for you.
Gina says
Wow! This post brought me back to my high school days of wanting to fit it with the in-crowd but never really did. But, by God’s grace I am now blessed with the most beautiful bouquet of sisters in the Lord and I fit in just perfectly because we are all IN CHRIST! Hallelujah!
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
Gina, that is awesome! Praise God for sisters in the Lord!
GRD says
I could have written this. Thank you.
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
You’re welcome!
Megan says
I love the part about discerning whether to “cover it in love” or call it out. Especially the phrase “cover it in love.” People are often quick to respond in anger (I know I am), and the idea of loving someone who has hurt you is beautiful, though difficult! Also, we can hang out anytime! 😉
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
Megan, I love hanging out with you! It is so easy to respond in anger – I wish it wasn’t!
Leeanne says
Beautiful and timely for me! I have experienced the same feelings and I too am 40! Grateful to have gotten to know you this year!
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
It’s been wonderful to get to know you! I’m so sorry you’ve been through that.
kathy w says
I belonged to a group of women who read the bible but don’t seem committed to showing up for the grp regularly. This happened a couple of times and I got very hurt. No one reaches out from the grp to see why people stop attending. I decided to cover it with love and move on. I cared deeply for the people in the grp but I need to find a place I fit in and want to grow in God’s word. The Lord has helped me realize that even though I didn’t fit with that grp it is ok and I will find another. Feeling like an outsider is very hurtful but there may be a reason for it.
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
Kathy, I’m so sorry that happened to you. So glad that you were able to cover it in love and walk away. I’m sure that you will find another group who loves every bit of you!
susan says
Timely and well written 🙂 I’m 58 and have learned that human regard becomes an idol. Everyone wants to be included but sometimes it’s not possible. We live for an audienceof One-Our Lord. That’s hard and the enemy knows that is a window to come in with his sister Doubt. I too loved the remark or should I say encouragement to “cover it in love”. This past year was a lesson in covering situations in love. Right now the Lord is beginning to show me the fruits of being obedient in this. Thank you so much for todays post. Blessings to you
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
I love that – an audience of One! Thank you for sharing that, Susan.
Peggy S says
It appears that many of us have been through the same type of situation. Me too. And being older than most of my friends, I can understand. But still. Thanks for sharing this.
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
Thank you, Peggy.
Marty says
Wow. Just look how many people can relate to this post. We all can. So sorry you were left out; It really stinks. Thank you so much for this post. This quote from your friend: “I’m praying for you to discern between covering it in love and calling it out.” Such a great reminder.
Kat Cannon says
Thanks so much for this. I’ve felt this way on more than one occasion. It’s so easy to assume rejection when we weren’t invited to join people we care about. I’m too slow to remember that everyone else’s life isn’t about me, no matter how important of a relationship I have with them. Our enemy uses that to drive wedges between us, and we can’t let him do that. So thanks for being authentic and sharing that we’re not alone in feeling alone. Blessings!
Cathy says
13,39 or 55. Faced something very similar just a few days ago. Wise words from good friends. This friendship thing, hard no matter what season of life…
Beth Williams says
Kate,
I kinda (& have for a few years) feel that way at work. It’s like they don’t want or need me any more. Truth is I’m not an RN & don’t draw blood so the new boss took me out of the clinic all together. She never liked me from the beginning. I know that if I pray about it and seek God’s guidance He will make a way for me to leave.
I’m not going to call it out –just cover it in love and let the Light of God be my guide!
Lauren says
Thank you for sharing this message Kate! I have been pondering a similar situation for quite a while. I know how I would like it to be resolved, but I cannot make anyone be my friend. With that being said I also cannot let this become about me. Your friend’s words have led me to action, to “cover it in love”. I feel a peace on this now and believe I can move forward. It’s also pretty eye opening to realize we ask go through this. Blessings to you!