About the Author

Kate writes a lifestyle legacy blog named Songs Kate Sang and is a professional photographer. She enjoys handwritten correspondence, and may break out into musical numbers at any time. She and her husband Brian have been married since 1999. They have three children - Julia, 14, Nate, 11, and Riley,...

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  1. You definitely are not alone when it comes to those awful seventh-grade flashbacks, Kate! I love how you found your way out of that darkness. Like you, I’m so thankful for wise friends who are willing to speak truth when I need to hear it. Thank you for this encouraging post!

  2. This exact scenario happened to me several years ago. I made the decision to call it out, and the explanation I received was simply, “You’re not that kind of friend.” I’m a pastor’s kid, and now a minister’s wife, and I carry a lot of battle scars from the life. This cut open a world of wounds and rocked me to my core. I am thankful that my worth is mor determined by people, but by my Abba father.

  3. Wow! This post brought me back to my high school days of wanting to fit it with the in-crowd but never really did. But, by God’s grace I am now blessed with the most beautiful bouquet of sisters in the Lord and I fit in just perfectly because we are all IN CHRIST! Hallelujah!

  4. I love the part about discerning whether to “cover it in love” or call it out. Especially the phrase “cover it in love.” People are often quick to respond in anger (I know I am), and the idea of loving someone who has hurt you is beautiful, though difficult! Also, we can hang out anytime! 😉

  5. Beautiful and timely for me! I have experienced the same feelings and I too am 40! Grateful to have gotten to know you this year!

  6. I belonged to a group of women who read the bible but don’t seem committed to showing up for the grp regularly. This happened a couple of times and I got very hurt. No one reaches out from the grp to see why people stop attending. I decided to cover it with love and move on. I cared deeply for the people in the grp but I need to find a place I fit in and want to grow in God’s word. The Lord has helped me realize that even though I didn’t fit with that grp it is ok and I will find another. Feeling like an outsider is very hurtful but there may be a reason for it.

  7. Timely and well written 🙂 I’m 58 and have learned that human regard becomes an idol. Everyone wants to be included but sometimes it’s not possible. We live for an audienceof One-Our Lord. That’s hard and the enemy knows that is a window to come in with his sister Doubt. I too loved the remark or should I say encouragement to “cover it in love”. This past year was a lesson in covering situations in love. Right now the Lord is beginning to show me the fruits of being obedient in this. Thank you so much for todays post. Blessings to you

  8. It appears that many of us have been through the same type of situation. Me too. And being older than most of my friends, I can understand. But still. Thanks for sharing this.

  9. Wow. Just look how many people can relate to this post. We all can. So sorry you were left out; It really stinks. Thank you so much for this post. This quote from your friend: “I’m praying for you to discern between covering it in love and calling it out.” Such a great reminder.

  10. Thanks so much for this. I’ve felt this way on more than one occasion. It’s so easy to assume rejection when we weren’t invited to join people we care about. I’m too slow to remember that everyone else’s life isn’t about me, no matter how important of a relationship I have with them. Our enemy uses that to drive wedges between us, and we can’t let him do that. So thanks for being authentic and sharing that we’re not alone in feeling alone. Blessings!

  11. 13,39 or 55. Faced something very similar just a few days ago. Wise words from good friends. This friendship thing, hard no matter what season of life…

  12. Kate,

    I kinda (& have for a few years) feel that way at work. It’s like they don’t want or need me any more. Truth is I’m not an RN & don’t draw blood so the new boss took me out of the clinic all together. She never liked me from the beginning. I know that if I pray about it and seek God’s guidance He will make a way for me to leave.

    I’m not going to call it out –just cover it in love and let the Light of God be my guide!

  13. Thank you for sharing this message Kate! I have been pondering a similar situation for quite a while. I know how I would like it to be resolved, but I cannot make anyone be my friend. With that being said I also cannot let this become about me. Your friend’s words have led me to action, to “cover it in love”. I feel a peace on this now and believe I can move forward. It’s also pretty eye opening to realize we ask go through this. Blessings to you!