“Never stop improving.”
I heard this company tagline as I was listening to the radio this morning and it got me thinking. There is something appealing about the idea that things can be improved if I am willing to put in the work. I mean, we do live on planet earth where people and things break down and deteriorate, and whether or not things are ever actually improved, it’s nice to think that they can be improved.
But then something in my heart felt slightly twisted and I realized that if I should never stop improving, then that means that things are never good enough the way they are. I call this way of thinking ugly inadequacy, and I’ve battled it for much of my adult life.
In fact, I’m starting to get this feeling that, for me, a good day is one where I get it mostly right. I’ll do my best, and it will be mostly right, but not all right. Getting it all right, because there have been those rare and miraculous days, is invigorating. But most of my days, the mostly right ones, often leave me tired and discouraged and feeling like giving up. Ugly inadequacy, or striving, weighs me down and paralyzes me. It creates stress and anxiety and is always pointing out what still needs improvement.
But, there is also something I call beautiful inadequacy, or rest. An existence where I can lean into Jesus and just be thankful that He’s got my back covered. I’m not talking about making excuses for sin. I’m talking about acknowledging that I’m not perfect and I will never perform perfectly. Beautiful inadequacy produces a surprising peace because it turns my focus from myself to the One who is always enough.
Paul talks about this rest in 2 Corinthians 12:9. “But He [Jesus] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
In those moments when I am feeling that I am not enough, I read this verse and misconstrue it to mean that Jesus’s power needs to come and work in my life and make me “more.” His strength and power should enable me to do the right thing all the time! If I read the verse more carefully, however, I begin to understand that it isn’t about me becoming better or stronger at all. It’s about Jesus’s beauty and light and power shining through, and in spite of, all my seams and stretch marks.
Paul also says, in 2 Corinthians 4:6, “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.” Did you notice it is His light shining, and His face displayed? Not mine. Not yours.
Christ didn’t give up His throne temporarily and wrap Himself in the flesh of a human child so that I might become Superwoman. He came that He might be made known to us. How can anyone see His light if there is no weakness in me for Him to be glorified through?
My inadequacy displays His beauty. What sweet relief! My mostly right is good enough.
Leave a Comment
Kimmygirl says
(sigh) I just love this. Jesus did not come here in humanity so that I could be Superwoman- How true! Thank you for a wonderful reminder this morning! Blessings to you!
Kristin Semmens says
Thank you so much… I think we all need to breathe a sigh of relief as we nestle into Jesus!
Kim j says
How can anyone see His light if there is no weakness in me for Him to be glorified through?
I tend to look at my weaknesses, chronic illness, as a bad thing. I dwell on all of the things that this illness has taken away from me at times. It’s frustrating, to say the least not to be able to do the things I once was able to do, yet here in my weakness is where my relationship with God truly developed. Without my weaknesses I would never have learned about total dependence on him. He has taken the very thing that I loathe and used it for good. He taught me things in this place that I other wise would have never learned and for that I am truly grateful. I pray that others will see Him in me and I can share what God has done in my life so that He will be glorified!
Kristin Semmens says
Wow… your comment really touches my heart today. I just spent the weekend with a friend whose husband has been dealing with a chronic, mysterious illness for the last four years. They have four small children, and I know it is very taxing on both my friend and her husband. With tears streaming down her face, she explained that her husband has found true peace and joy through this trial, but she isn’t always there. I did my best to encourage her that because of this trial, she will have the opportunity to find true joy. Others may find temporary joy in their circumstances, but she will be pressed into the discovery of real joy on the bedrock of her relationship with Jesus.
I am honored that you would share honestly, and I pray along with you and my friend that you would have miraculous and real joy that bubbles out, touches lives, and glorifies God.
Shauna says
His face shining. His face displayed. Sweet relief indeed. Thanks for sharing your thoughtful words.
Kristin Semmens says
Thank you for your encouragement, Shauna.
Chance Carson says
Dear Kristin,
Thank you my sweet and “wise-beyond-your-years” daughter, for your insightful reminder of our frailty which can be made perfect only in Him. I love you so much and am so very proud of you in all you are and in all you do for those blessed enough to be in your life.
Love, Dad
Kristin Semmens says
Thanks, Dad! xxx
Cherie says
” I call this way of thinking ugly inadequacy, and I’ve battled it for much of my adult life.”
Me, too! Yes, I never knew what it was called. I feel inadequate and try hard to hide it! It’s an internal battle that I have struggled with for years.
I loved your post! thank you so much for the renewing of my mind today. I will continue to do my best, always glorifying Him. But I am reminded that in my imperfections, He shines through me. Thank you Kristin!
Kristin Semmens says
Thank you for sharing, Cherie. You are right on when you mentioned the need to renew our minds! Isn’t just like satan to try to trap us in our minds with defeated thoughts? The Bible is full of encouragement that the only perfect one is Jesus, and He fights for you! I hope you will find this scripture to be encouraging today. God bless you, sister.
2 Samuel 22:30-32New International Version (NIV)
30 With your help I can advance against a troop;
with my God I can scale a wall.
31 “As for God, his way is perfect:
The Lord’s word is flawless;
he shields all who take refuge in him.
32 For who is God besides the Lord?
And who is the Rock except our God?
Debbie Linnell says
Thank you Kristen for your healing words. I struggle with being a perfectionist, I have all my life. I am the child who erased holes in her school papers because the letters on my paper didn’t exactly match the alphabet letters posted above the blackboard. And I would feel so defeated feeling like I had failed. And as I share my thoughts God brings to my mind the words of a beautiful song written by Dottie Rambo called, “He looked beyond my faults.” Oh may I be forever reminded to see myself as Christ sees me.
Kristin Semmens says
Amen! You are beautiful to Him! Praise the Lord that he uses people like you and me, with all our weaknesses and strengths, to encourage one another. 🙂
Carolyn says
Just today. Read these words from John 1. ” He was not the Light, but came that he might bear witness of the Light.” He is the Light so we call stop trying to be light to everyone else. Just a witness. Not the Light. Loved your words! So God said this to me twice today. Once through you!
Truth: I am inadequate. But paired up with Christ, I am so adequate. This is everyday practical. I constantly hand up my five loaves and two fish to hands who make them enough. It is all good. I can rest, He will make me enough.
Real life Example: My daughter is 31. One day my heart broke when I realized an important area of life that I had not prepared her well for marriage. A big area. So I brought it up to her one day while visiting her first little baby girl. She smiled and said that it was okay, God had filled in for me. Then a few moments later she added, “That gives me hope that maybe I can be a mom.” My weakness not taken away but filled in, covered up, graced over. That gives me hope that maybe my life will count.
Kristin Semmens says
Thank you so much for sharing, Carolyn. I am so glad you mentioned Jesus multiplying our loaves and fishes! What an encouragement to me. I love that the Lord used your weakness to encourage your daughter that she is enough, too.
Anna says
Thank you so much for this post, Kristin. I have written down those Scriptures to read them out when I need to be reminded that it is through my weaknesses that His light can shine. It is so easy to forget this all-important truth.
Kristin Semmens says
I agree that it is easy to forget… especially when we live in a society that glorifies women who seem to be able to to it all. I love that it is God’s Word that you are going to in order to be strengthened in what is true.
Beth Williams says
I struggle with ugly inadequacy. Any time I mess up or look at others–I see all my faults & failures. I keep hearing those lies “dumb, stupid, not good enough”. My heart wants to be superwoman–balancing work, home and an aging father.
This year has taught me that I can’t do it all! I need to let God shine in and through me. I need to show off the God who came down to rescue me and let it be known that only through Him can I manage day to day.
Blessings 🙂
Kristin Semmens says
Beth, thank you for sharing. Praise the Lord that you are able to recognize those ugly words as lies! Keep bathing yourself in the Word and I know the Lord will be “shown off” through you!
Carolyn says
Just today. Read these words from John 1. ” He was not the Light, but came that he might bear witness of the Light.” He is the Light so we call stop trying to be light to everyone else. Just a witness. Not the Light. Loved your words! So God said this to me twice today. Once through you!
Truth: I am inadequate. But paired up with Christ, I am so adequate. This is everyday practical. I constantly hand up my five loaves and two fish to hands who make them enough. It is all good. I can rest, He will make me enough.
Real life Example: My daughter is 31. One day my heart broke when I realized an important area of life that I had not prepared her well for marriage. A big area. So I brought it up to her one day while visiting her first little baby girl. She smiled and said that it was okay, God had filled in for me. Then a few moments later she added, “That gives me hope that maybe I can be a mom.” My weakness not taken away but filled in, covered up, graced over. That gives me hope that maybe my life will count.
Rebecca Keselburg says
I love this. It not about me. It is about how I allow him to Shine through me! When we allow this to happen it is beautiful.
Kristin Semmens says
Hi Rebecca! 🙂 I’m so glad you were encouraged!
Angela Bell says
“My inadequacy displays His beauty. What sweet relief! My mostly right is good enough.”
I really, really needed to hear this.
Thank you.
Kristin Semmens says
Angela, I pray the Lord will continue to remind you of this and direct you in how He wants to apply it to your unique situation. Thank you for sharing!
Ryan Carson says
Beautiful post sis. I love you! PS. You’re a talented writer 🙂
Kristin Semmens says
Thanks, Ryan! I love my supportive family!
lorna says
It is beautiful knowing Jesus’ got my back covered! Despite my imperfections..my sins…Thankyou Jesus!
Kristin Semmens says
Yes! Thank you, Jesus!! In church this morning, our pastor talked about the Holy Spirit as our guide. I’m also thankful that the One who knows everything about everything is my guide and helper.
April says
Thank you for this reminder. Jesus shines best in my weakness. I’m currently going through health issues at 30, which leave me physically tired & weak. My body isn’t what it used to be & it’s hard to accept. I can’t keep up with my 3 year old as much & the pace of life. I used to enjoy running in 5Ks! Thank you for helping me to remember who I lean on and trust in. God is good. All the time.
Kristin Semmens says
April, thank you so much for sharing. It’s hard to feel weak, isn’t it? When we brought our littlest girl home from China, I went through a period of depression as I adjusted to “starting over” in parenting. I felt very weak and overwhelmed, and I didn’t like it! God met me there, though. He provided help for me and lifted me up. As you meet with Him, I pray that He will do the same for you and that He will help you understand, on a practical level, what it means to lean on and trust in Him. God bless you with strength, peace, and joy!
Becky L says
Good food for thought. I do my best at work. But still have the wacky moments when my finger the wrong key at the register. Feel the day would be better if…God loves us. Yes, it’s good that we shine His light because ours isn’t bright enough and it dims since we are human. Only He is the truth, the way, the life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Kristin Semmens says
Yes, Becky! As we walk with Jesus, may we be transformed from “if only…” women into women who celebrate Jesus’s mighty, perfect, and matchless love for His people… including us!
Somer says
I needed to read this. I’m going to try to insert that phrase into my vocabulary now. Beautiful inadequacy. I grew up from 7 and on in deep legalism. A fear of not being perfect in school, in looks, and in relationship to God. There was even a time i carried around notes on how I had sinned. (Yikes). It was dark and even though I was a Child of God I came to a place of everything being about me being perfect. I lost my innocence (like that Brandon Heath song). I’ve always wondered why? Why? My story started well and I remember coming to faith in Christ at an early age and having much joy. So why all those years of bondage afterwards? I’ve always seen it as a crippling question. Something that disqualifies. It has not been until my late twenties that I’ve seen God use that complete inadequacy and time of searching and questions. For the past 3 years I have seen God start to use the things I wish that weren’t part of my story for greater good. It’s amazing isn’t it?
I’m with you in this dissatisfaction with trying to be perfect in everything. Homes. Body. Parenting. Marriage. Finances. Retirement. Nutrition. Career….and yes even all of the demands to be a better Christian.
The idea that I will never be perfect ( here on this earth) is the one thing that frees me to cling to Jesus and His promise of perfection. That alone. I don’t cling when I believe that I can orchestrate a better me if only I try more and do more. That just drains me dry and leads to utter empty.
Your post was wonderful and I loved the line about superwoman. I think this idea is lost on us many times. Thank you
Kristin Semmens says
Somer, thank you so much for sharing. I have been comforted many times by the truth that Jesus knows, loves, and understands me- even when I don’t understand myself and why I do or have done certain things. God “gets” us… and He LOVES us. I am thankful that the Lord is bringing you to a place where He is using your story, your history, to reveal to His story. Be a voice of freedom- it is for freedom we are set free (Galatians 5:1)! Satan wants us to feel disqualified… Jesus redeems everything. Yes, He is amazing. Thank you for sharing your heart.