We have a small home — a split-level condo with two bedrooms and a galley kitchen that never seems to have enough counter space. I know that in most places in the world, our home size would be considered normal, or perhaps even large. But here in affluent suburbia where we live, our square footage is, comparatively, on the compact end of things.
Any time we have more than a handful of people over — such as this last weekend for my daughter’s first birthday party — we run out of seating quickly. Often, guests start spilling onto the stairs, sitting on steps when the couches and chairs are full.
My tendency, in the past, was to worry about the lack of space, to try and fix things by giving up my seat or finding another stool. Because when I saw people sitting on the stairs, my hospitality button got pushed: I didn’t feel like I could provide what my guests needed. I never want anyone to feel uncomfortable in my home — physically or socially — and I was concerned that our small home would make people feel cramped and unwelcome.
But my husband is a pastor, and having people over is the name of the game in ministry. We often host small groups, even when the groups aren’t actually “small,” and a couple of years ago we had a small group that kept growing — to nearly thirty people. Before we were able to raise up new leaders for the group and split it into two, I remember praying that God would literally make physical space for every person that came into our house — because I didn’t know if we would have room for everyone to stand, let alone sit, in our home.
And God did. Yes, things were tight. Each stair doubled as a seat, and many people sat on the floor. It was hot, even when the air conditioning was blowing as high as we could set it. And there was no real sense of personal space. But we read the Bible together and we sang together and we prayed together, and people kept coming back — and bringing friends.
And you know what? No one mentioned that our house was too small. No one complained about having to sit on a stair rather than on a couch. No one told us that they thought our home was hindering what God was doing.
And that’s when I got over apologizing for our home. That’s when I stopped letting my hospitality button get pushed by what we didn’t have and what I couldn’t control. I realized that if God could fit thirty people into our little house and that those squished people could encounter His truth and His goodness when we were together, the size of our home wasn’t holding Him back.
So until God moves us, this home is the one we have and I will be grateful for it. When people sat on the stairs at Ella’s birthday party last weekend, I didn’t cringe. I passed the cake and I joined them and I looked at our little home, full to bursting with people who loved us. They might have been a little cramped, but they took the cake gladly and they sang with us and we celebrated God’s kindness to our family through our daughter’s life. And I looked around at the friends sitting on the floor and the family members standing in the galley kitchen, and I was deeply thankful for all that we had been given — small home included.
Leave a Comment
Sarah S says
beautiful
Ann Swindell says
Thank you, Sarah!
Mary Clark says
Thank you for sharing! I often struggle with “small home hosting syndrome” as well. I find it really encouraging to know that I’m not alone, and to remember God can work big things anywhere…even in small spaces!
Ann Swindell says
Mary, yes–it’s so good to know that many of us are in the same place and that God can use anything we offer to him, no matter the size. Grace to you!
betsydecruz says
I love it, Ann! I’m a pastor’s wife too, and our home overseas also has a small kitchen with little counter space. I know the scenarios you’re talking about. I love hosting big groups, now that I learned not to let a little chaos and a big lack of perfection stop me.
Ann Swindell says
Betsy, I love that–“a little chaos and a big lack of perfection.” So true! God is often in that chaos, I think. 🙂 Thanks for loving Jesus and serving him while you are overseas!
Brenda says
Thank you for this beautiful message of God’s goodness even in tight spaces. We recently downsized from our 1800 sq ft bungalow to a 1950’s “fixer-upper” that my husband and I inherited from his parents. I struggle with no longer having the big rooms to accomodate my Bible study groups but I can see how God is using this quaint little house to show me “great and wonderful things that I never knew”.
Ann Swindell says
That’s so wonderful, Brenda. God often surprises me by showing up in unexpected places. May that fixer-upper be a place where you meet him deeply and richly!
Chrissi says
Ann, thank you. This is a flesh issue I struggle with all the time. My excuse of not having “enough” space or the finest of things stops me dead in my track of what God has called me to do. It really needs to stop, thank you for sharing, Gods really called me out through you today.
Ann Swindell says
Thanks for sharing your heart, Chrissi. Excited to hear what God does through you as you obey his call in this area!
Karen says
100 times YES!!!!!!!!!!
Ann Swindell says
I love your enthusiasm, Karen! Jesus is so worth it! 🙂
Mary O'Connor says
So true! I have been involved in home groups at our church since the 80’s and hands-down, the coziest, most memorable meetings are in smaller spaces. It’s always good to have it feel clean (not neat necessarily), and have pets away so allergies and dogs jumping on everyone aren’t an issue, but I would take a happy small space over a big one any day.
Thanks for sharing.
Ann Swindell says
Thanks for sharing the sweet memories, Mary! I love that God can move in any space!
Alysa says
I love that you were able to focus on true hospitality after you released the fear of not enough space. We have a tiny galley kitchen and smaller home as well but I’ve been feeling the nudge from God to “use what you have…use this house I’ve given you.” I’ve started to and it’s been amazingly refreshing.
Thanks for this reminder!
Ann Swindell says
That’s so great, Alysa! Thanks for sharing!
Monica Sharman says
This is exactly how I felt about our home. Thank you for sharing how people felt welcomed at your place, and how you quit apologizing for it.
Ann Swindell says
Thanks, Monica!
Marty says
I LOVE this post…mainly because I can relate so much to it. I always felt so self-conscious about our home…if we didn’t have enough seating. But I remember going to another friend’s house…a smaller house than ours…and sitting on the floor or the stairs or a bean bag…and I didn’t care at all! That’s when God reminded me to give myself a little of the grace I give others…and it has made all the difference!
Ann Swindell says
Marty, those experiences are so good for us–we really can feel welcomed anywhere! Thanks for sharing!
Jamie Rohrbaugh says
Good for you, Ann. So glad you didn’t let people’s impressions or “keeping up with the Jones” sway you from just loving on people. I’m sure people will remember the love way longer than they will remember the small space. 🙂 Beautiful article!
Ann Swindell says
Thanks, Jamie! And yes, I’m learning that love is what matters more than anything.
Beth Williams says
Ann,
Glad you were able to get over what people think. It is far more important to have hospitality no matter the size than to worry about stuff.
I am not very hospitable when it comes to my house–my hubby is an introvert and we don’t live close to our church or much of anything. I am always looking for ways to help someone. If I hear of a need or even a small situation then I want to help in some way. Love sending cards, e-cards, e-mails, or preparing meals for friends or family! I believe hospitality is important as it can encourage that person!
Ann Swindell says
I love that you are finding other ways to reach out, Beth! That’s so wonderful and I’m sure it is a gift to so many in your life.
Mary Carver says
Ann, I loved this post so much! I have a very small house, too – and it takes a LOT of intentional gratitude for me to remain content here, especially when it comes to having people over. I love entertaining and it’s so hard in a tiny space! And yet…in the 11 years we’ve been “stuck” here, we’ve managed to have all sorts and sizes of parties and gatherings. Funny how that works. 🙂
Nadine says
I rent a small space and keep thinking about my next place, the bigger space to come – how then it’ll be the right time for all the good ministry to happen. Sheesh. This read is the good kind of kick in the pants. Thanks for it.
Kellie says
I’m reading this at JUST the right time, as I get ready to host my grandsons first birthday. And those nagging thoughts of “too small” or “not enough” keep creeping in. Squashing them today for good.
Shelly Wildman says
So proud of you, Ann!–both for being here at (in)Courage and for opening up your home to others. Both are acts of bravery and a gift of yourself to others. You’re the best!