I recently asked myself this question: Am I older and wiser, or just older? I am definitely older, and my reflection in the mirror reminds me of this every day. My husband has gray hair, I have covered graying hair, and our two daughters are in their late twenties. I am older, yes. And I want to be wiser in my faith journey — this walk with God that is my everyday life.
When I considered what I have genuinely learned of value, some of the positive changes I have seen, and growth I’ve observed as I’ve lived out my faith walk, I wrote down a list. It isn’t full of scholarly knowledge or the great wisdom of Solomon. It is simply day by day slowly learning to live more wisely.
One of the first areas in my life of noticeable growth is realizing that I am not letting fear rule my life.
I didn’t always have a problem with fear until the past few years when I lost both of my sisters at the ages of 61 and 62. In addition to coping with this tremendous loss, I began to live with dread and fearful thoughts that I will also die at that age. Through prayer and scripture, God used this verse to move me from a place of fear back to a place of rest and trust: For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. {2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV}
Fear and trust have had their wrestling match but I am choosing trust.
One of the most powerful truths I have learned is that God is God. He made everything and everything has a purpose that He has already chosen. I believe that one of the greatest tools for our faith is accepting what God allows into our lives. It is vital that we believe God has a purpose and a plan and is working through our circumstances even when we cannot see — and we must trust Him even when we don’t understand.
Most of all I know I am safe, secure, and loved. I grew up with the kind of earthly father who was prone to anger and violence. And yet, my view of God is of a tender and gentle Father. I also know He is Holy, Almighty, Sovereign and Powerful. I know this is who He is. But how this high and Holy God comes to me — is with His love. I have lived in the warm embrace of His love and it changed me forever.
My faith has deepened. I don’t always understand it, but it is a solid foundation that dwells in my heart and I know that my faith has grown. I attribute this to the cumulative result of many life experiences where God has shown Himself faithful to me, and I also believe it is due to the diligent pursuit of a close relationship with Him. This relationship brings me great joy and is my greatest joy.
Yes, I am older, but hopefully I am also wiser and growing wiser still. I want to be changed as God would change me. It is my desire that God finds a teachable and yielded heart in me. He has much to teach me and I still have much to learn.
We are never too young or too old to learn. With God as our teacher and guide, let us grow wiser whatever our age. It is all part of the journey of becoming more like Him.
Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. {Psalm 25:4-5 NIV}
What has God been teaching you recently? Is it a hard lesson, a brand new lesson, a humbling lesson, a rich lesson? Would you share in the comments how God is making you more like Him?
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Valerie says
Kathy,
What a lovely post! Yes, as I get older I feel the best years might just be behind me, but I take heart. God has shown me more of him in the past few years than almost my entire walk with him and that makes me look forward to the years ahead. To knowing more of God and knowing that he has good things planned for me. Thank you for these words! 🙂
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
Yes, let’s definitely look forward to the years ahead – with courage and faith all the way!
Sanita says
Hi Kathy,
God has been teaching me a hard lesson. And like you, I’m reminding myself to trust God. Things are unclear right now but I’m choosing to trust God. I’m scared I might give up and call it quits but then again I’m telling myself that I choose to trust God. Life took a sudden turn and I lost all sense of purpose and direction, but I’m still hanging in, trusting that He is in all of this and that I’ll come out better than I went in. I quiet the anxious thoughts about ‘what next?’ by telling myself I don’t need to focus on the questions but simply choose to trust God.
Holding my heart.
Sanita
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
Trusting God can be a day by day, sometimes moment to moment choice and I pray as you trust Him that He will strengthen your faith. I love Isaiah 40:31when I am anxious, and He has always been faithful to renew my strength to trust and wait on Him.
Lois Flowers says
I love this, Kathy. Isn’t it wonderful when we can look back and see where a specific trial or a season in the wilderness has resulted in actual growth? God always has a point with what He does and allows, and I am so grateful for that! Thank you for your story, and please keep making those lists!
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
Yes, God does have a point with what He allows and being a little older often gives us that perspective we don’t have in the middle of it or shortly following a trial.
taylor conrad says
Thank you for this post, the title caught my eye as I am older and I have realized how many choices I make out of fear. I am also realizing that I need to stop. thanks for this. again keeping my feet on this path.
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
I think we all wrestle with fear, but we don’t have to let it win. Realizing that is a great step in the right direction and it truly is a step of faith to overcome our fearful thoughts.
Susan Shipe says
Like you, Kathy, I am “older.” I have learned your list and I will add something that brings me great comfort in the face of adversity, I funny acronym shared by a teacher/pastor years ago: G.A.K.A.T. God Already Knew About This
Nothing takes our Father by surprise and that gives me great peace as I walk through hard places with adult children – He keeps me grounded and filled with hope.
Blessings…
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
I love the acronym, thanks for sharing it and it is so true, we should all remember it daily!
Grammarox says
The lesson I’ve been learning lately is that “it is only an illusion that I am in charge of anything in my life.” I’ve had to rely on God so much in this season of my life. Changes are happening everyday that I have no control over – my daughter being diagnosed with MS, daughter & children moving back home because son-in-law was deployed, husband going to an out-of-state job, etc. I am SO grateful that God is in control and He wants the very best for me. He is always moving and working in my life because He has a plan and a purpose for me. What’s my part? Leaning and trusting in Him every moment of every day. Talking to Him about my concerns and situations and believing He loves me and will help me get through any and everything. Knowing I can let go of the “control” I never really had and rely on Him.
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
It is a difficult lesson, but when we trade control for trust it makes all the difference in our walk with God. I would just encourage you to continue to fully trust Him with all of these challenging circumstances. You are so right, knowing He loves us helps get us through any and everything!
Marybeth says
What a wonderful message you shared today! I am in the midst of learning a hard lesson, and I need reminders of God’s love for me. I am truly blessed by the daily writings that arrive in my in-box.
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
Two of my favorite verses that reassure me of God’s love for me are Jeremiah 31:3 and Romans 8:38-39. We all need reminded He loves us, thanks for sharing your heart today!
karyn says
To be closer to HIM than all my yesterdays. To have a wonderful and peaceful life and to enjoy my life which HE has purchased for me.
Life is awesomely wonderful for me.
🙂
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
I appreciate your uplifting words here today!
Cindy says
God has been dealing with me regarding my heart – purity of heart – for the last few years. He specfically spoke to me of a jaundiced – bruised, tainted, bitter, resentful – heart, and has been purifying it. I am so thankful for a God who is patient and perseveres with us! Another thing He has been saying in regard to a pure heart is, “Make it all about Me, not the other person who hurts, irritates and frustrates you!” He, too, is dealing with me in the area of fear. We heard a great message on fear from our youth pastor very recently. Praise Father God, Son/Savior, and Holy Spirit!!
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
God is so patient with us, He does keep dealing with our issues and that is one of the ways He demonstrates His presence and love in our lives, thanks for sharing your heart.
Donna says
Hi Kathy,
I am so thankful that I stumbled across this post today. The past year has been a rough one and I realize all the trials I went through – losing my job, a terrible breakup, arguments with friends – were all just God’s way of drawing me closer to Him. God has been teaching me how to rely on Him, and only Him.
Even while facing these difficult times, I tried to fix things in my own way which only led to more hurt and disappointment. These days, anytime I get myself into a jam, I immediately bring it to God in prayer and completely trust in Him.
One lesson I’ve learned well is – His ways are not our ways. God has a plan for our lives and His plan is perfect. I am also learning to give up control. I am not sure why I ever felt as though I am in charge of anything that happens in my life. He is in charge. My only job is to trust Him and listen to Him.
JuneBug says
Kathy, you wrote, “It is vital that we believe God has a purpose and a plan and is working through our circumstances even when we cannot see — and we must trust Him even when we don’t understand.” Amen! Amen! Amen! It has taken me all my life to realize this, especially this last year and a half as I’ve battled health issues. It’s such a simple concept, yet powerful and extremely difficult to grasp.
I’ve had to learn to just let go, and then let go some more, and I’m still learning to let go. And with each release of my grip on the situation, it becomes lighter and more beautiful as God truly is in control of my life. He always has been.
Thank you for your post, for sharing a part of you with all of us. You’ve encouraged many of us today. Blessings to you and your family.
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
I am sensing a theme in many of your comments. It sounds like this, We are not in control. God is!
Our job is to trust! We’ve been through hard times, but let’s trust God! Trust is our faith in action and faith pleases Him.
So let’s do it!
Carole says
So glad to have happened upon this today. I’ve just been texting my daughter-in-law who is flying to her daughter’s bedside in hospital…..surgery is imminent and I will share with her some of these wonderful experiences of trust in God in the face of great difficulty . Blessings on all who contributed.
meghen says
Thank you for your words, Kathy. I am going through a hard season, where I have not been able to rely on my family, who was my usual “go-to” for help and support. God is teaching me to rely on him and trust in him. I am giving up control because his ways are the best and most perfect ways. Although I cannot see how this season in my life will transition to the next, I am holding on to the word that all things work together for good for those who love God. God has a higher purpose for this pain.
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
He is worthy of that trust, keep relying on Him, He will be with you, I believe that with all my heart. Thanks for so much for sharing.
Babs says
Ah, Kathy, what a pleasure it was to read this. I’m so glad you have the view of our heavenly Father being gentle. My father, too, was prone to rage and violence – mainly mental cruelty, yet none of it distorted my understanding of our heavenly Father’s lovely nature. Such sweet grace. Thank you for sharing. xxx
Marty says
I love this post! I think so many times we look at our lives with some regret…like, we aren’t where we thought we’d be, and we maybe wonder what we have to show for our years. I like to think that I am wiser than I was when I was younger.
This: “I am not letting fear rule my life.” I could not agree more. I fight the fear…with God’s help, of course. My Mom died when she was 59, and even tho I don’t have it constantly on my mind, I think that subconsciously I think about it…more every year…and I wonder, will that be me? Will I leave my kids, too?
It’s not all bad, tho. Because I know how MY life was affected by my mother’s death, I make sure that my kids know all of the important things I wish I had heard from her. I don’t wait to tell them only on their birthdays or something. I speak words of blessing to them (I hope) every single day.
Beth Williams says
Kathy,
Love your writing always! It speaks right to the heart of the matter.
I am definitely older and wiser! I find myself wanting more of God and His word then ever before. I listen to Christian music ALL the time and can’t wait to read the Bible first thing in the morning. I try to do devotions with my hubby. Love doing Bible study with women from church.
Hubby and I are going through a rough patch with work, but we are trusting God that He will make all things right!
This year was tough for me dealing with my aging father. Times were crazy and I felt frazzled. Through it all I trusted God and did not let fear rule me at all!
Blessings 🙂
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
I really enjoy your words of trusting God, it makes all the difference in every circumstance.
Cindy Metz says
Like you, I’m also in the ‘older woman’ category. I’ve experienced several upheavals of life in the last few years and I find the Lord is teaching me more lessons now than ever before even though I’ve been a believer all of my adult life. Here’s my thought: is God really loading me up on lessons or am I now more willing, because I am older and hopefully wiser, to listen to His leading? Either way, you’re so very right – we’re never too old or young to learn His lessons and learn them well. Thank you for your post!
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
I love Psalm 25:4-5 (at end of my post) to daily remind me to be teachable and ask God to show me His ways and to teach me His paths.
Meg says
“He has much to teach me and I still have much to learn” so very true. Right now, I’m in the stage with little ones at home. I feel like God has some great lessons to teach me through this season, they’re just so hard to learn. I definitely want to grow in wisdom and knowledge, and not live a life of fear. God has called us to so much more. Thank you for the good reminder.
Teresa Martin says
This is such an encouraging message….I just came through a sesson of learning to lean into the Lord. I was unemployed and remembered the scriptures about our Lord caring for the birds of the air and the lilies of the field and how valuable we are to him that he certainly would be gracious to us and provide our needs. He is such an awesome God!