And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14
It was the vacation you wait for. When I say wait, I mean seven years. Having child after child after child we knew one day, somehow, we would be able to get away and have some time to reconnect. Finally, the opportunity came. Everything aligned perfectly – the trip, our parents watching the children, the flights, the time frame. This was finally happening!
My husband had a three day work trip and I was tagging along. We extended it to six days so we could explore San Francisco. The second day into our trip I was flying solo while my husband tended to business. As he scurried out for an early breakfast meeting, I quickly went into “I need to get up. I have so many things to do” mode. But, it was 7am and I was kidless so I lingered a little longer in the comfy bed. Then, instead of experiencing quiet and peace, which I had wanted for many years, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. “I should get up and do something,” I kept saying to myself. It was at that very moment that a great wave of sadness hit me – I had forgotten how to rest.
Not physical rest, but emotional, mental, and spiritual rest. I couldn’t tune out all the noises in my head to realize the amazing gift in front of me – peace. As I got up and went to get coffee I was bombarded by the hustle and bustle and sounds of the city. While having breakfast and looking out the window at the busy street, I knew the culprit to my overwhelming uneasiness was the noise in my life.
There was clutter that had taken up root in the consciousness of my life and it was time for it to go. I had forgotten how to truly sit and enjoy a cup of coffee because I usually got my coffee in the drive-thru while I raced to the next thing. My soul needed silence. I was cluttered with the things this world was throwing at me and I desperately needed to get off the spinning merry go round.
Sometimes, you need to ask yourself really tough questions and then be ready to accept the answers. As I sat still, I asked myself, “what is causing my noise?” Then, in the deep, deep well of my spirit came the answer. My noise was three things – the desire to please, the desire to succeed, and the desire to have things as perfect as possible.
As I started peeling away the layers, several things became abundantly clear to me. First, I don’t want people to not like me. I don’t want to disappoint. Second, I want to find some measure of success outside of being a wife and mother. I love to write but I realize it cannot dictate who I am. Being a wife and mother is enough for me. Everything else is a wonderful gift. Lastly, I was clinging to an ideal that I must continue to have the house perfect, the food gourmet, and the kids already memorizing half their Bible by age 5. This was a warped view of what I knew to be truth.
As I finished those last sips of my coffee I felt as though a new me was being reborn. The hustle of the city around me was getting louder and louder as the day unfolded, but the busyness and noise in my mind was quieted. Now that I knew my noise problem, the question became “what will I do about it?” I prayed the Lord would give me courage to please Him, not others. I prayed I would only use His standard of living over my life.
Are you experiencing clutter in your mind and soul? Free yourself today of anything that isn’t from the Lord. It is because of Christ that I can surrender and be absolutely free to live the life He has called me to live – noise free! I can now embrace the gift of quiet without guilt or fear.
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I love this and feel the same way. Thank you. I needed to hear this. I am going to pray as well as write this down and put it on the fridge so I can be reminded of it daily!
Thank you Elizabeth! I need to hear this daily. I have to remember to be quiet before the Lord and listen. It is so hard but I’m learning!
Leeanne, I so needed to read this today. I’m cluttered beyond cluttered with so much noise I feel like my world is crumbling and my head is spinning. Add to that the literal noise in my life (we live in NYC at a busy intersection across the street from an ER, which means sleepless nights are common for me) and I’m about to pop. I want to peel back all the noise and run for the hills (seriously, there has to be a peaceful place in this world, right?). And honestly, it’s so hard to see people being successful all around me and wonder, “What am I doing wrong? Why am I always struggling?” and also admittedly, “Why does no one like me?” Thanks for sharing this. Your words definitely spoke life to me today.
Kim, you are not alone! Sometimes I really do feel like I am spinning and I don’t live in NYC! I’m sure we would be friends if I lived there. One thing that has helped me is finding a quiet spot (if that is possible in the city, right) and I just get still and I listen. I read God’s word and I journal. I feel the Lord is really teaching me to say no to more and more so I can fully embrace my yeses!
“Forgotten how to rest.” I can relate to that as my husband passed away 9 months ago after years of illness which included my father dying, my 84 year old mother’s breast cancer, debt, new grandchildren, church and work responsiblities…so many times rest just was out of the picture. Now I am learning the difference between rest and recovery, numbess and joy, hope overriding sorrow. Learning to rest is the first step for me.
GranSarah,
Prayers as you learn to rest your troubled mind. May God give you the peace and contentment to relax your troubled soul!!
Father,
Please help GranSarah find the true rest and peace that only come from you. She has been through a lot these past years and needs to find peace and joy once again! Grant her the serenity to relax and enjoy life a little!
AMEN!
GranSarah,
Your words really spoke to me. I am so so sorry for your loss and I am encouraged my your transparency. Praying for peace for you and the Lord’s kindness over your life!
thank you!!! I find myself doing this same thing in the short amount of “alone” time my hubby and I can get..talking about whatever next problem there is or the last problem solved not quite to my liking….or whatever instead of being in peace and harmony with my beloved and God. I WILL try harder to sit in the quiet when given the chance and to thank GOD for this small blessings that surround the very loud and busy life/world we lead.
Yes Kelly! My husband and I were just talking about how the past week has just been more about schedules, problem-solving, car issues, etc.. Need to mentally get quiet this weekend. Thanks for sharing!
Leanna,
You hit the nail on the head! This year, more than others, has been especially tough for me. I have had to deal with my aging father’s health issues, some of which landed him in hospital and rehab. Adding to this stress was working a job I don’t like and dread coming to daily. In the midst of this hubby got iffy job news. My attitude was not pleasant and I felt completely frazzled. I had forgotten how to rest. I feared the phone ringing–what problem is coming next?
Fortunately God has worked everything out and I am a little more content. My attitude is better as I see a way out of the “darkness”. I am taking time to rest and relax. Talking about my situations with others helps too!! 🙂
Blessings ~
Beth, Thank you so much for sharing. I totally understand the phone ringing scenario. We are going through something similiar now too. Thank you so much for your honesty!
oh yay, how i love seeing you here!
and ah yes, the wrestling for rest. girl, you know i’ve had to learn this one the hard way. and those three culprits? they’ve got my name on ’em as well. but praise be to God who has “denied” me what i want in order to give me what i NEED — a soul stretching opportunity for Him to replace my desire to please with a more secure identity in Him, a daily boot-camp opportunity to let go of my desire to succeed & simply abide, and a glorious letting go of perfect to embrace His beauty, His richness, in all the mess. (and oh, how messy it’s been!)
thx for the gift of your transparency, friend. hope to bump into your smiling face at church sometime soon!
Tanya, So grateful for your post! Love seeing your name attached to anything and your story over the past few years has been a source of hope and encouragement for me. Nothing would make me happier than seeing your smiling face at church! If I see you I will come running to hug you! Blessing to you friend!
YES! Rest , I have been doing for everybody for soooo long that I landed myself with health issues. and they are all sailing along. Thank you for this today what a great reminder!
I can relate, even now l find it hard to relax in my home. No kids, retired, but should be doing something. Have a friend that actually cleans the clean. Need to pray for Him to give me the courage to please Him. Better by far. He’s easy to please.
Lucy, Yes to pleasing Him no matter what phase of life we are in! He is easy to please – love that!
Thanks, sweet friend. I feel blessed to have you in my life.
You bless me friend in a thousand different ways!
I am a single woman, but my live seems to be cluttered with noise as well. I live near downtown Columbia, SC, which is not a quiet place anytime of day. It has it’s moments, but with three universities, college football and baseball, plays and concerts in the park, construction on a major bridge, a fire station around the corner, a zoo right across the interstate from where I live, and living in an apartment with paper thin walls, there is a lot of noise cluttering up my day. I even create “other noise” like praise music or even my favorite sit com, to drown out the other noise.
For my day job, I work a 10 hour day. I volunteer at my church. I’m a blogger (a bad one, but one nevertheless) and I have a comedy ministry on as well. It can be overwhelming, the amount of stuff I have to do and how quickly my dirty clothes and dishes can pill up while I’m doing that.
I can’t remember the last time I sat an enjoyed a cup of coffee or read a book for fun or just sat in “stillness” with my Bible for more than a few minutes. Thanks for reminding us that we have to rest in God. And by the way, it is kind of cool to hear the monkeys at the zoo during feeding time in the mornings. They are very happy then!
Love this! I would love to hear to monkeys! haha I’m learning to choose the best not just all the good stuff. The only way I know is to be still and seek the Lord’s will. Thanks for sharing!
A few months back my dr asked me what I did to rest. I reeled a list off and he just stood there and said. “You don’t know how to rest” his words were the truth. I couldn’t just sit and let the moment wash over me. This has given me a lot to think about and this post is the perfect reminder to heed the drs words x
I love this! It’s so hard for me to rest my mind…to rest in HIM. I’m a slow learner, but I’m getting better at it. This post encouraged me today!
I could so relate to this post, Leeanne! Especially this line: “My noise was three things – the desire to please, the desire to succeed, and the desire to have things as perfect as possible.” Thank you for reminding us we truly do have grace and rest in Jesus. So glad you shared this with us!
I am unplugging two weeks from now, for this exact reason. I need peace and I need to lay to rest all the noise. I have no clue how I am going to ‘do’ that in those two weeks I am unplugging. My prayer is God will be real and show up.
Your post resonates in me today. And this is the 5th time in a week God has brought this verse to my attention. So glad I stopped by this morning. God bless….