When it comes to the subject of my father, unfortunately there isn’t much to tell. His name was Robert. He and my mother weren’t married. He gave me a purple and white 10-speed bike with purple and white streamers attached to the handle bars when I was 9 — and he died before I turned 10.
That is the sum of what I know. I literally do not have one clear memory of my father. The memory of him giving me that bike is vague to say the least. He was never around long enough to establish any memories. Had it not been for a picture that I have of him, I couldn’t have picked him out of a crowd. My mother never talked about him and I never asked. That is how things went in my family.
I have often thought to myself that I don’t mourn the loss of my father. Rather, I mourn the loss of what should have been. I should have had a father. I should have had a lifetime of memories with him. He should have played a significant role in my life. One of the toughest facts to be reconciled to is that he didn’t want to play a role and/or was incapable of doing so.
A lifetime of growing up without a father stirs up a well of insecurities that I can barely put words to. These insecurities have been an underlying motivation in many of the decisions that I’ve made. It hasn’t been easy but I know that God has been with me. He has been ever so faithful to extend His grace to me at times when I have been unaware of Him or even when I have been far from Him.
“…while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
That is the depth of God’s love for me and for you. He loves us deeply, not because of who we are or what we do or what we can offer. He simply loves us because that is who He is. God is love.
“For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight.” Ephesians 1:4
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God! And that is what we are!…” 1 John 3:1
These verses make me wanna do a Holy Ghost dance!!!! God chose us! We have been chosen by a heavenly, gracious and loving God. He ALWAYS knew that He would make a way for us to be in relationship with Himself. He has ALWAYS chosen us. He will ALWAYS choose us! He chose us to be His beloved daughters.
Know that wherever your earthly circumstances find you this Father’s Day, you and I have a heavenly Father who loves us beyond all reason! There is no end to His love and grace toward us.
Unlike the many spiritual mothers that the Lord has blessed me with, I haven’t really had any spiritual fathers in my life. I guess He decided to fill that gap with Himself.
“Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” Psalm 27:10
This Father’s Day I pray that you will rest in the truth of this verse. May it flood your soul with hope, peace and joy.
If you feel unloved and abandoned by your earthly father, take heart…
Your Heavenly Father loves you.
Your Heavenly Father chooses you.
Your Heavenly Father fills that gap with Himself.
How has God shown you His love as your Heavenly Father?
Leave a Comment
Karina,
What a blessing that God has tangibly filled in the cracks that were left void by your earthly Father. So many holidays can be really difficult for many people. We all don’t have Norman Rockwell type families and we grieve the loss of what could have been. I will certainly be praying for you this Father’s Day weekend and for all the other women who are/were without godly men in their lives. My father passed away three years ago today and I know that I didn’t appreciate him fully until he was gone. So, I encourage you, if you have a good earthly Father, or even if you don’t, try to reconcile that relationship and treasure it if you can.
God has so filled in the cracks in my life with His love. He has been there, steadfast, through all my trials in life. He truly is my rock and my refuge through the hard times and my joy and delight in the good times. Thanks for an honest post that will hopefully help many struggling through this holiday and remind others of the great love of their Heavenly Father!!
Blessings,
Bev
Thank you Bev for sharing! I am so grateful for the love that God has lavished on me!!!! I am sorry about you dad but I am glad that you had him Have an amazing day with Jesus!
This is such a beautiful & precious truth. He fills the gaps with Himself. Blessings!
Joanne, thank you for sharing! I praise God for His faithfulness! Blessings to you as well!!!
Yes, Karina. Good truth. My story isn’t one of an absent father, like it was with my mother, but many choices made over the years that put him first, and wounded the children and others in his wake. God gave me a precious picture of how much He loves me, how HE is my father, and these earthly vessels were merely His way of bringing me to Earth. He is the ultimate parent, and I belong to HIM alone. So much comfort in that. Thanks for sharing again!
BJ, thank you for sharing! I couldn’t imagine life without God having stepped in to meet this deep need. I am forever grateful!!!
thankyou for being so truthful and sharing it..my dad wasn’t there either and we recently made a 8 month relationship together that ended ..he left us because of selfishness and some 30 years later still lives only for himself and thrives in his selfishness..but I know and feel our father Gods love and have known since I was a child that he is the only for sure relationship any of us will ever have..he doesn’t change,doesnt forsake us and never leaves us..no that’s a true DAD
That is so hard to not have that relationship but I am praying that God continues to fill you with His love, comfort, peace and joy. You are chosen, redeemed and His beloved!
My father died when I was 17. He had been ill since I was 8 and passed away when his second leg had to be amputated. Even though I had him for 17 years, I didn’t know him much. He was gone a lot, could only work part time since he only had one good leg, drank quite a lot, and hung out with his buddies at the VFW most of the time. The last I saw my father alive, I helped my mother carry him to the car to go to the VA hospital where he didn’t survive the second amputation. Recently my daughter went to a wedding with her dad, my husband, in his home town. I thought it was so weird that she would want to go on a 3 day trip with her dad to see people she didn’t even know. As I pondered that, the still sweet voice of the Lord, spoke to me and basically said, “the reason you don’t understand it is because you didn’t have a father as an adult, you don’t know the relationship a adult daughter has with her father”, No, I don’t understand it but I think down inside somewhere I was jealous of their relationship. I truly believe in the “Healing of Memories” and I believe I was healed that day of my resentment toward not having a dad as an adult. And I didn’t even know it was there inside my heart! Yes, I have a Heavenly Father, a Protector, a Provider, and as much as I know how an adult daughter loves her father, I love Him so much.
Sandy! That is so good! I am sad about your dad. But God is so faithful! I am glad that He has healed your heart. May your relationship grow intimately this year like never before! Thank you for sharing!!!
What an encouraging testimony for anyone walking around with a wounded heart, God’s love will fill us up and heal the pain caused by an absence of a father’s love.
Amen Kathy! I am beyond grateful for His filling and love!
This is beautiful. Thank you soo much for this today 🙂 Psalm 27:10 has been my comfort verse for many many years.
Thank you Melissa! That verse is one of my life verses!!!
Such a beautiful picture of our adoption as sons and daughters of God!
Thank Haylee! I love you my sister!!!
Thank you for such a beautiful post today, that spoke directly to my heart. I never even met my earthly father. My mom fled from him because he would drink, and then beat her. She was afraid of him. I do have a picture of him.
Fathers Day was especially hard for me as a little girl. God filled that void for me too.
I’m very blessed to be married to my husband and best friend for 40 years, and he is a fabulous father and grandfather to our 4 kids and grandkids.
Lisa, I am glad that your mom protected you and that the Lord filled that gap in your life with Himself! Tell your hubby I said Happy Father’s Day! What a blessing!
Katrina your dad missed out in a beautiful, intelligent, and kind daughter I’m honored to know you. ❤️
Thank you so much Diane! You are so sweet!!!!
My sweet friend! I agree with Diane… Your father missed out, but your Father has been loving you for all of eternity! My own father was ‘absent’ while being right there, unable to communicate or connect, invest or enter in… Unable or unwilling and yet I know he loves me. Still, it’s the love of my Heavenly Daddy that speaks to my identity and encourages me on! And I love that we have that same Daddy and I am proud to call you sister!
Sister! Thank you so much!!!! I love that it is God who calls us by name and gives us our identity! I love you friend!
Thank you for writing this.
My earthly father walked out when I was 12, re-appeared at 25 and is casually around now I am 51. My earthly father has autism and is unable to sustain any level of intimacy or show any degree of real interest in me.
It is only during this last year that I’ve started to recognize that God has no autistic tendancies. That has been a huge shock. I’m learning how to respond as a child to my loving Father, but too often I draw away in fear and pain.
A part of me longs for that deep intimate relationship whilst another part can’t believe it’s for me and is scared anyway.
A God who fills in the gap. A God who is my kintsugi redeemer. Molten gold, mending the cracks and broken places, making them more beautiful, more valuable, marking me as His precious daughter. The cost paid by Himself!
xx
Ruth! I love that story of kintsugi!!! God is in the redeeming and mending business!!! That is our God! I praise Him!!! Rest assured in His love for you, His chosen and beloved daughter!
Thank you for putting into words what my heart has felt for 52 years. My alcoholic father died in a car crash when I was just 9 months old. I’ve always felt betrayed and abandoned because he wouldn’t or couldn’t stop drinking, even for his wife and 2 little girls.
When I accepted Jesus into my heart at age 8, I also found my real Daddy….Abba Father. He has always been the stabilizing factor in my life, my source of comfort and strength, my confidant and refuge when I was terrified and needed a Father’s arms wrapped around me.
He guided me to finding a wonderful Christian husband, and we have shared our love story for almost 32 years, raised 3 great kids that are now growing our family with precious children of their own. God led me into “happily ever after”, but it’s no fairy tale, it’s real life with real issues, and Father is always there to lead, guide and direct our lives.
So, to my Abba Father I can say, Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! Thanks for always being there for me!
Judy, I can totally relate! I have never understood why my father didn’t choose to set aside his sin and struggles to be my dad.
But God! I am so grateful that He stepped in and loves me and protects me!
I hope you have a blessed day!!!
Your story is so similar to my own. My patents were never maried and I never actually met my dad because he left before I was born. I have one pictire of him my mom kept for that day when I finally asked about him. That was when I was about 13 and it was the only conversation we ever had about him until my mom called to tell me he died. He wasn’t something my family talked about and if a younger cousin or someone asked they were quickly shushed. I am thankful that my grandfather stepped into that father role as much as he could, and that God has given me a Jesus-following husband and father-in-law who open my eyes to more of who God is and how he loves.
Our stories are so similar Emily! I am so glad that God blessed you with an amazing father in law and husband. He is so faithful! Blessings to you!
This touched my heart today. Father’s Day is always bittersweet for me. I lost my dad not long after I turned 16. I am now in my fifties. I never felt unloved by my earthly father, but I have to admit to feeling somewhat abandoned…and I have missed him terribly throughout the years, and envied others who still had their dads around their whole lives. It’s difficult to banish the “what ifs”…and not wonder what could have been, if daddy hadn’t died in that accident that day in 1977. Unlike the author of this article, I have many wonderful memories of my daddy, and take heart in the knowledge that I will be reunited with him, and all my loved ones, eventually. What a glorious day that will be! Like the author, God has filled many gaps in my life, and was there for me even when I was far from Him. I hope that everyone has a wonderful Father’s Day! If you still have your earthly dad, cherish him.
Rebecca, thank you for sharing! I’m sorry for your loss. I understand that feeling of abandonment! I pray that the Lord will continue to be ever so near to you. Blessings!
Thank you so much for this! I’ve never known my biological father. At 46, it’s still a daily battle, the rejection issues. I was given the greatest Dad a girl could have when I was 12, but there’s always been that ‘gap’, that piece missing. This really blessed me today. Thank you!
Pam, I am so glad that this blessed you! I’m glad that God did give you a dad. That was His faithfulness to you. May He continue to fill in the gaps that still exist and continue to root your identity in His love and who He calls you.
Oh, dear one, how blessed you are today to KNOW the One who loves you most… Loves you best!
May you ALWAYS feel like dancing, as you draw near to our Heavenly Father!! How blessed we are to have His example of a loving Father, perfect in every way!
Thank you for sharing…
Amen and Amen Marina! I don’t know where I would be without His love and grace!
Thank you for sharing. I too, grew up feeling the same way: no father (died when I was 5), and no memory since my mom didn’t want to talk about it. God as our father is something only children like us can truly know. Although He is a father to all, it’s amazing when he replaces your earthly father. Thanks again!
That is so true Michelle! God is crazy faithful to us!!!!!!!!!!
I really love that you shared this. My biological father, while still alive, has had little to nothing to do with me, too. It comforts me to remember that God chose us and He is enough for us. I hope He gives you an extra big hug this weekend!
I love thinking that God chooses us. Thanks for sharing your story. So many of us can relate grieving over what should have been. My father chose to leave my mother and our family, and although I was luckier than many women–he also chose to stay somewhat involved in our lives–I still feel today the effects of his decision. And I’m 50 years old! But I can rest in knowing that my Heavenly Father chooses ME!
Yes He does Betsy! He will choose you time and time again! May your heavenly Father draw near to you!
I praise God and I thank you for sharing this post. It has been on my heart how to speak to the void I know my daughters feel, especially my oldest, when she looked to the calendar, saw “Father’s Day,” groaned and feels nothing but anger. An earthly father who locked us out physically and literally.
And it is with this message, so different from what I expected to find on Father’s Day, and yet so spot on what I/we needed today! (But isn’t this typical of our Father who fills the void in a way no other can, Who continues to speak through and to His people/ his beloved children? )
Praise God for your surrendered soul to His will. Thank God, Who continues to speak to my heart, to confirm I only need to point my daughters to HIM, and model love and forgiveness to a person who can not do better at this time. You have encouraged me so I can continue to encourage my daughters, His beloved! His CHOSEN!
And this is what makes me want to do a “Holy Ghost dance..” – God is with us, works through us, to do amazing work in our souls. Thank you Karina for being a vessel for such a work as this!
Thank you so much LeeGee! I pray that my life will scream of His redemption and love! He is faithful to bring us a word when we need it the most. I am honored that i was able to play a small part in Him blessing you today!
It does and so eloquently at that!
Your story’s beginning is very similar to mine. My father was in and out of my life. I never stopped wanting a relationship with him. An opportunity came about for him to enter my life at the end of his. I opened the door with love and welcomed him. We had 3 wonderful years together, getting to know one another. I was past my anger and bitterness toward my dad, and I am sure that helped. My mom had already died but, I know that if she had been alive, out of consideration for her I would not have come to know my dad. It took him a very long time to tell me he loved me, but eventually he did. I treasure that. I am also so very relieved to know that during our time together he came to know God, and I can safely say that when he died he went home to heaven. I will get to have time with him there someday when I leave this earthly world.
I know too, that without God, the Father standing along side me none of this would have been possible.
Amen Trudy! That is a beautiful story! Praise God! Thank you for sharing. That blesses me. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this matter. I have lived my life without a father because he did not want to know me. He left my mother with seven children alone when i was just four years old. I do have memories of him, but they are not good.
My father should have told me that he loved me, that i’m worthy to be on this earth, that i belong. He should have told me how to handle if i find love in my life, my future partner for life. He should have showed me how God is like, just by loving me and tell me about how God loves. He should have been the mirror of God. But he did not. Instead he chose the easy way out and just left. He did not love us at all, he just loves himself. So no, it is not easy to understand that God is filling the gap. I don’t know a earthly father, it is so abstract for me. I know God is taking care for me and that He loves me, but when i pray, i pray to Jesus and never to the Father, because i don’t know the term. Maybe in time, i’m capable to call God my father, but for now, i rather call Him my Mother.
Oh Thea, know that you are loved by the Father more than you can ever imagine. He created you and has great plans for you. Those plans are always for your good. May that truth sink deep into your marrow. May you know it in your head and your heart. May you learn to cry out Abba Father to Him.
“Father” is an abstract term for me as well but I look to God and His word to lead me and guide me and discipline me as fathers do.
You will call Him father one day. He will patiently wait for you. May that day be soon.
Blessings to you!!!
Thank you Karina for your words of blessings. It has helped me. I hope some day i can find peace over this particular part of my past. And one day that i indeed are able to call God by His right name. Thank you for your encouragement.
Karina, I was blessed with a wonderful earthly father that just psed away 3 months ago at the age of 92…while I am sad that I am without him this Father’s Day, this is a lovely reminder that my Heavenly Father can fill the gap. A lovely post by a beautiful lady I’m happy to have met in real life!
Thank you Mary!!!!! I am so sorry again for your loss. God is good and gracious. He loves you. May He continue to hold and comfort you! ((HUGS)) my friend!!!!
Thank you for a truly wonderful story of God’s love!
I have an earthly father. My family was not the Normal Rockwell type. Dad was there and worked hard for the family. But he wasn’t “present” in my life. I don’t remember him coming to church for anything “special” I did. I am glad to know that my Heavenly father is there filling in the gap for me now.
Blessings 🙂
My dad is nearing 89. We have a good relationship now. Each time I call or see him I tell him I love him. You never know when it will be the last time.
That is wonderful Beth! I am so glad that God restored your relationship with your father! He is faithful!!!
Karina! Couldn’t have said it better myself. Talk about ‘incourage’, you’re the epitome of it!! Love ya and keep doin what you’re doin!
Thank you precious girl!!!! I love you too!!!!
Wonderful words from a wonderful woman and sister in Christ! May you know the depths of God’s love for you!
Thank you so much Michelle! You are too sweet!!!
SO blessed by you, my sweet friend!!!! Powerful, beautiful words!!
I love you Rena! Thank you so much for reading!!!!
Thank you for sharing Karina Father’s Day has always been tough for me.
My Brenda! Te Quiero mucho! May the God of all peace and comfort be ever so near to you. May He hold you close and whisper His love and promises to you. He is good and he is faithful!
Karina, beautifully put my friend. Father’s Day is the hardest day of the year for me and my sister. He died unexpectedly when he was 47. He never saw my sister graduate, never met his grandsons. Many days, it’s hard not to feel robbed, especially when you see so many people who relish in the good memories they are still making with their dads. Thank you for writing something amidst the rest of the social media chatter, that actually resonates with those who need it most. The fatherless. God is good.
My sweet Summer! I am praying for the God of all comfort to flood your soul with His peace and His joy. He loves you and chooses you. He will never abandon you! He is good and constant and faithful my friend!!!
Karina, I’m so sorry about your father but I’m so happy you feel the Lord’s love in that gap. It’s a beautiful realization and shows the truth of God and the love of God. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Brooke! I am incredibly grateful for the love of God and Him fathering me. I don’t know where I would be without Him!
My dad is 79 years old and I call him every day and tell him I love him.
Tara, what a blessing! Thank you for sharing!
Beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing this part of your story. I am so very thankful that God blessed me with a very good man as a father, even though he died of cancer when I was only 10 years old. God comforted me…and then sent a new good man into my mother’s life. They married and he became ‘daddy’ to me. He was present and loving and for that I am so very thankful.
I lost him to diabetes, but not until I was grown and married with two children of my own.
Each of our stories are connected in some way yet different and I find that both comforting and mysterious. His ways are not our ways…and I okay with that, because I know my way gets me in trouble from time to time. 😉