It was not something I ever imagined doing.
Writing a book. Or becoming a mother.
Most people who talk about motherhood start out by telling you how much they always wanted to be a mom. That is not my story. I was the girl whose mom died a week after she turned 18, the girl who swore off motherhood, the girl who believed her story had to be bigger than just being someone’s mother.
Today I’m the woman who believes that God doesn’t ask us to trade who we are for the label of “Mom.” Rather, he builds all the courage and calling of a lifetime into a story line big enough and rich enough to encompass kids, passion, work, creativity, and dreams that don’t end in the labor and delivery ward.
I’m also the girl who believes that Jesus saved the best till last when I finally became a mother.
But I’m just as convinced He would have loved me the same whether I ever had kids or not. It’s right there on the front dedication page of the book.
This is my broken, backwards journey from losing a mother toward becoming one.
This is my testimony that all the “how to” and “what to expect” books in the world can never truly prepare you for the sheer exhilaration, joy, and terrifying love that accompanies motherhood.
This book is a reminder that being a mom isn’t about succeeding at some parenting checklist — it’s about what motherhood prepares us for while we’re busy preparing for it; how a new identity brings new meaning for our future and new appreciation of our past; and how there is wonder to be found in the daily merry-go-round of dishes, laundry, and tiny humans.
This book is the one I wish I’d had in my hands nine years ago when I was certain I was failing motherhood.
This isn’t a “how-to” book, it’s simply my “you can” story.
This is the book I wrote for me. And for you.
This book is for us.
Whether you are a mother, have a mother or know a mother.
We daughters all have to find a way to make sense of our stories.
But moving forward is usually impossible without first going back. And the girl who swore off motherhood needed to unravel her story before she could make sense of the newborn sleeping in the crib next to her, surrounded by swaths of white mosquito netting.
This is my love letter to all the tired mamas trying to do the same and all the young daughters wondering where they will end up.
We’re in this together. Every step of the way. Click here to watch the trailer – a reminder that you are braver than you know, for all the ways you mother. Whether you have kids of your own or not.
To read the first 3 chapters of the book for free, click here.
To purchase a copy for you, a friend, your mom, the ladies in your MOPS group, just click here.