I saw Jesus the day my father shaved the hair off my mother’s head.
She was diagnosed with breast cancer three months ago. Jesus was there that day, too.
When my mom asked my dad if he would shave her head – because the chemo was causing her hair to fall out and it was just too hard to pick up the pieces – he said yes. When my mom asked my younger brother and I if we would be there when he shaved it, we said yes, too. We’re learning when trials come, the only way to endure them is together.
Jesus was on her right side, my dad on her left. Eli and I stood behind. I looped my arm through his and watched.
Watched the hair and tears mingle and fall together into the sink.
Watched my dads hand curve gently on the small of her back.
Watched love happen right there in front of me.
And Jesus was there for it all. He saw every hair fall – and since he knows how many hairs are on our head, he knows when those hairs aren’t there anymore – and I wonder if maybe Jesus was crying, too.
You see – this is what love looks like to me:
Love is a husband shaving the hair off his wife’s head. Love is holding the razor steady while watching her body rack with sobs. Love is clinging to her tightly afterwards and whispering, “You are beautiful, you are beautiful, you are beautiful.”
Love is a Groom taking the sins of his bride on his shoulders. Love is carrying her shame to Golgotha, all the way to Calvary. Love is nails hammered to bones, thorns thrusted to scalp, spear stabbed to side. Love is the Groom writhing in pain, bathed in blood, so the bride can dance free.
But Love didn’t end when that last breath was taken. Love rose three days later, and because of that, the bride can say:
I am redeemed.
I am forgiven.
I am set free.
My mom’s hair was all there in the kitchen sink. Long tears streamed steadily down my cheeks as I hugged her closely. But I witnessed love that day.
I saw love.
Jesus holds me, holds her, holds you, and whispers: You are redeemed. You are forgiven. You are set free.
You are loved.
Did you hear that? Lean in closer.
Let those words wash over you, like a balm on your weary, weary soul.
The Groom is whispering to you – to his sweet, broken, beautiful bride.
You are loved.
Now, we can dance free.
Aliza,
This is absolutely beautiful…what tenderness shown by your parents…what a model of Christ’s love. “The Groom writhing in pain, bathed in blood so the bride can dance free.” You really have captured Christ’s great love for us. Thank you so much for this poignant reminder that I am truly meant to dance. Feeling blessed and loved by your writing!
Blessings,
Bev
Bev – thank you. I so deeply appreciate it.
So glad you shared your story, your mums story, your family’s story here. It speaks directly to my heart, I can feel and hear Jesus today through your writing. Beautifully said and to the point thank you so much!
I am so glad it spoke directly to your heart, Jas. Thank you so much.
Oh Aliza – this is stunning. Just absolutely beautiful.
You are a treasure. Thank you, Crystal.
Powerful. Powerful and free.
What is your Mum’s name? I’d like to keep her in my prayers.
Fiona, her name is Christie. Thank you, thank you, thank you for praying (and for reading).
So thankful for the love of Jesus that is ever present and never failing, and how it shines in your story today!
You and me both, Kathy! Thank you so much.
Beautiful!! Stunning!! Your words, the picture of love your parents exhibit, all of it…just exquisite!!
I appreciate that so much, Julie.
So many tears over here, Aliza! “Love is the Groom, writhing in pain, bathed in blood, so the bride can dance free.” You and your family have been in my prayers since the moment they announced your arrival at the beach house and I first looked at your gorgeous blog. Bless you, friend.
Erin! Thank you for praying. That means so much to me.
Oh my goodness, Aliza, this is so beautiful. And you are right–a husband loving his wife in this way, sacrificing so much for her, is a perfect picture of what Jesus has done for us. May God be glorified through your words today!
Ah Shelly – that is my prayer: that God might be glorified through all of these words. Thank you for your encouragement to me.
This is just SO incredible…..Love is a husband shaving the hair off his wife’s head. Love is holding the razor steady while watching her body rack with sobs. Love is clinging to her tightly afterwards and whispering, “You are beautiful, you are beautiful, you are beautiful.”
It IS incredible. And it was incredible to witness. Thank you for sharing with me today – I super appreciate it!!
Oh, the tears are falling! You touched my heart with this reminder of His love. Thank you for this.
I am so thankful you were reminded of Jesus’s incredible love for you through this, Karen! Ah, you’ve touched MY heart with your comment. (Thank you!)
Beautiful, Aliza. Just beautiful. And oh the beauty of such love! Thank You, Lord Jesus!
I’m saying that with you, girl – oh, the beauty of such love. Thanks Jamie!
Oh sweet girl – what a legacy your mama is writing into your lives.
this one
“And Jesus was there for it all. He saw every hair fall – and since he knows how many hairs are on our head, he knows when those hairs aren’t there anymore – and I wonder if maybe Jesus was crying, too.”
me too. Just me too.
Jesus was crying too, the Hebrew describes this with Yada-ata. He knows us intimately inside and out and loves us anyway, and the ata means He feels whatever we are feeling right along with us, identifies with our emotions and circumstances. When we cry, He cries, when we dance, He dances, when we are discouraged, he feels our pain. Isn’t this beautiful!
Lisa-Jo? You encourage my life everyday. (Thank you.)
This is so filled with power and beauty. A poignant reminder that He is always with us, always, always….always.
Yes! Oh yes. Always. Thank you, Vicki!!
Tears. So many tears.
3.5 years ago, I was that woman, her husband shaving her head because ‘the chemo was causing her hair to fall out and it was just too hard to pick up the pieces.’
You captured so much so beautifully and so raw.
Thank you for this…these words…and the reminder that ‘Jesus was there for it all. He saw every hair fall – and since he knows how many hairs are on our head, he knows when those hairs aren’t there anymore…’
Prayers for your mama and for all of you…because cancer truly impacts the WHOLE family. xoxo
Laura – seeing that you have been there too? That’s a whole new encouragement for me. Thank YOU.
totally hit the nail on the head! Jan of 2013 that was me too… (no one can express that feeling as your hair streams down your body along with the shower water) Iam now 1 year out from my last chemo-no recurrence of the ovarian cancer! God is good/ all the time, and all the time/ God is good.
I pray daily for all those affected by cancer/ and a cure!
c
Cindy, I am so incredibly happy for you. I am praising God right alongside you, girl. YIPPEE!! That is the best news EVER! Thank you for praying.
Amazing blog. A true glimpse of the heart of God for all of us!
Thank you so much, Jessica!
Thanks for writing and sharing this. You are so blessed to see such intimacy with your parents, better still they let you and your brother in. You captured not only that moment but in our ugliness He whispers in our ear: You are beautiful, you are beautiful to Me.
Oh yes, Chris, I am so beyond thankful for the love my parents have for another. Thank you for reading, and for commenting. I really appreciate it.
I just felt my heart break and Jesus smile. I absolutely love this post. It is so beautiful. As tears slid down my face and sobs tried to come out of my throat for your mom, I smiled. Because I see love the same way that you do.
Beautiful post, Aliza! I will keep your mom and your family in my prayers. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for praying, Kristy. I so so so appreciate it.
I wanted to comment how beautiful this was and how I cried, but several people already beat me to it! Thanks for sharing. Praying for you and your family and what you all are having to endure for now. God Bless.
Tammy – thank you for your prayers. They mean the world to us.
This is what love looks like…Amen! Aliza, thank you for showing me what love looks like. Your story is absolutely beautiful. I pray God’s abundant love favor healing and deliverance on you and your family. In Jesus’s name, amen.
Oh Joanne, thank you SO much for your prayers.
what a beautiful soul you are. love this. truly love. He shines through every word. huge grace and blessings on you and your sweet Mama.
Debbie – you are a huge encouragement. Thanks so much, girl.
Seriously making me cry. I love the live described in your story. Your mother is truly blessed.
Jeri, I am blessed by my momma. Thanks for reading it. Means a lot to me!
B E A U T I F U L Thank you! I can almost feel the presence of the Lord as I read this out loud to my friend. May the Holy Spirit continue guiding you with writing and sharing.
Ah Lily, you are wonderful! Thank you so very, very much!
wow…amazing love…wonderful writing…what a blessing!
Thank you Beth – I really appreciate that!
WOW, thank you for sharing this with us today! This is so beautiful and really brings home the love that is shown my our Lord! Your family is such a blessing to each other and is really shown Gods grace and love. May you continue to bless all of us with your inspirations. 🙂
Thank you so much Debra!
I went to bed las night with a heavy heart.. my family doesn’t have the mom they new, and it really was hitting hard. But this morning was one promise after another. Then this…. thank you and God bless you
Dorothy – I have no idea what your circumstances are, but I am praying for you as I type this. You are so loved. So, incredibly loved.
Oh Aliza. This is stunning. Tender, raw, and hope-filled. You took me right there and I saw it all and my own tears came, too.
Beautiful writing, sweet girl. So thankful for the gift of your words here. Much love.
You’re just the sweetest thing, Kristen. xo
Aliza,
Your post is so beautifully touching.
Thank-you for sharing such an amazing act of love with us….
Prayers and blessings to your mom and to your family….
Penny
Penny, thank you so much for your prayers, and for reading, and for commenting. I am so appreciative.
You have tears in my eyes at my desk today. I love the way yall comforted your mom with the words “You are beautiful.” Yes, hair or no hair, make up or no make up, over weight or healthy, sick or well, you are beautiful.
I hope someday every girl will believe your words, Ali. I think the world would be an entirely different place. Thank you for joining in this with me.
I will never be able to express how much I love this. You have talent beyond your years this is perhaps one of the most touching things I’ve read
Ohhh Sarah, you are one of the most encouraging voices that speaks into my life. So many thanks to you, my sweet friend.
Tender and beautiful, Aliza. Just like you.
You are a gift. xoxo
Aliza, this is such a beautiful post – it brought tears to my eyes. Your family is in my prayers! XO
Beks! Thank you. You are wonderful. xo
I can’t see through my tears right now. What beauty symbolism seen from your father to your mother in relation to Christ’s love for us. More than beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart here today. I won’t soon forget or lose the challenge these words bring me. To love more fully and live more freely in the love I have in Christ. Hugs, Meredith
Hey Meredith – I am so thankful for your comment! I was praying as I wrote this that we might fully know Christ’s relentless love for us. Thank you so much for reading.
What a gift you have sweet angel! Thank you so very much for this picture of love in it’s purest form. Gods peace to you and your parents.
Kaydell, you are so sweet. Thank you so much.
Aliza, this has moved my very soul. I am so grateful that God brought me here to read your precious words of the beautiful love seeping out from your family, from your father to your mother. You melded it all together so perfectly with the Love that came to forgive us, to redeem us. I have been blessed, sweet child of God. I plan to click on your blog and find you for more of your words. I am glad you like to write for you are good.
I am praying for your mother and family.
Caring through Christ, ~ linda
Linda – I am so grateful for this. Thank you. Thank you.
This is so beautiful, Eliza. Thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry your mom and all of you have to go through this.
It’s interesting – though if I could, I would change this situation in a heartbeat, I also know the ways we have seen God are innumerable and beautiful and like nothing we’ve seen before. Thank you so much, Trudy.
Such a precious story…so brave of you to share it.
Marty. Thank you.
Alicia, the inspiring young junior high who I used to love and know has blossomed into an amazing woman of God and a beautiful writer and artist. This is a truly beautiful post that captures captures the raw emotion of such an experience. I remember similar moments with my own mom and you truly do experience Jesus in these grievous, yet beautiful, life moments. Thank you for this portrait of our good and loving God.
Heather, thank you so much. Your words mean a ton to me.
This is the most beautiful post I’ve ever read, Aliza. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I’m sending love and lifting prayers for peace and healing for your mother.
Oh wow, Cathy, that is unbelievably kind of you. Thank you so much for your prayers.
This beautifully describes the heart of your family, father doing what is impossible for your mother and loving her in this soul wrenching place, the trust your mother has in your father, the description of the broken being beautiful, your brother and you not turning away from the pain your parents are experiencing: the pain of the sacred. This all exemplifies the heart of Jesus; what Jesus would do. Thank you for the window of the sacred; the intimate almost too much for words. I will remember this.
Joanne, your words are so kind and so encouraging to me. All we ever want is to exemplify Jesus. Thank you.
The Groom is whispering to you – to his sweet, broken, beautiful bride.
You are loved.
Now, we can dance free.
Thank You for this today. It was just what I needed to hear.
I am so, so glad to hear that, Danyalle. Thank you!!!
My beautiful sister, I love how you turn mourning into praise right here in this place and show all of us, young & old, to look up. I stood by my husband’s side 10 years ago as he fought cancer and saw how he began to look so different than he used to while he was fighting. But I prayed for him as he went through it and he’s been cancer free since he finished treatment. {Praise the LORD!}
I know these words you shared come with tears but your bravery is a healing balm for so many. Thank you for opening your heart. <3
Amy! I am thrilled to hear about your husband being cancer free. That is INCREDIBLE. So so thankful for that. Thank you for your kind words to me!!
Oh how beautiful. I just loved the words in the ending. This love is real but to feel it, know it in your bones, is what I long for. Thank you for this sweet reminder of our God.
Me too, Susan. I pray someday we both will know that relentless love deep inside the very depths of our bones. Thank you so much.
This made me cry! I cannot get enough of this oh so personal message. He loves ME!!
He loves you with a love so astronomical I don’t think we’ll ever fully comprehend. (Isn’t that so crazy and exciting?) Bless you, Hope!
Thank you for sharing! This was beautiful!!
Thank you so much, Mandy!
Beautiful story. Fresh and so touching, the analogy to Jesus love for his bride. Thank you!
Linda, thank you.
Omg, the love of Christ, at times overwhelming, amazing, sweet, tender, but everlasting!!!! You captured His love well in this story of love!!!! My prayers are with this family!!! God bless you all!!! Can’t stop crying!!! Amazing grace, how sweet though art!!!!!!!!
Alicia, thank you for your prayers. I am so glad you tangibly feel the love of Christ surrounding you today.
Oh my!! I am reaching for the Kleenex. I am on my lunch break at work, crying. How beautiful are your words and truth!!
Thank you so much, Ruth.
Lovely story of the depth of love.
I, too, stood in a bathroom in the summer of 2000 with my best friend shaving and my daughter standing next to me. it is, and always will be, a loving, if bittersweet memory.
I send my prayers for your mother’s complete healing. May God bless her every day with exactly what she needs. I pray she will begin to count her blessings; there will be more than she can imagine.
I lift your mother before the throne of our almighty God and ask these things in the holy name of Jesus. Amen.
Gretchen… wow. Thank you for your prayers. I am so incredibly appreciative. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Words escape me, but tears are streaming down my cheeks!!! This is such a beautiful story, from beginning to end – thank you for sharing with us!
Thank you, Jesus, for loving me!
Donna, I am so glad you know that Jesus loves you so deeply. Thank you for reading and commenting!!
A beautiful story, beautifully told. Tears. Prayers.
Asking God to pour his grace over you and your family, sweet sister.
Oh Liz – thank you. We need his grace. Always.
That was beautifully written. November 2012 was diagnosed with Stage 2, her 2 positive breast cancer. My 21 year old daughter and husband went with me to be shaved and choose a wig.. My daughter shaved my hair and my husband shaved his. The surgeries, chemo and radiation were easier just seeing their faces. You wrote it so eloquently and brought tears. Praying for your family.
Thank you Paula. I am so thankful you had your family with you during the surgeries and chemo and radiation. Thank you for praying.
tears here – so much beauty, so much truth – thank you for telling your sad and beautiful story. Prayers for your family
Thank you, Kiki!
WOW! just WOW! Such an amazing gift God has given you in your writing. Thank you for sharing it with us. May you feel His amazing love as you travel this path with your Mom and family.
Thank you so much, Brooke.
What extraordinary beauty in the words you have written. Seeing the transforming love of God so gently and beautifully expressed in the love your father has for your mother, and each of you as family, for each other. Reading the depth of your wisdom and understanding of God’s love, seen in all Jesus suffered as he went to the cross for us, through the very acts of love around you is very moving. It makes me stop and reflect, holding the space in sacred awe. What a powerful and deeply moving story. Thank you for sharing something so personal, and so very beautiful.
Thank you very much, Ailsa. Your words have touched me deeply.
So beautifully depicted. May you feel the love of our beautiful Saviour as your family is seen worthy with the trials He is allowing in your lives right now.
Rebecca – thank you! Holding onto that.
Wow! That was so beautifully written–the sentiment so tangible–as the tears in my eyes attest! Thank you for sharing such a beautifully intimate moment! May God’s might hand comfort your mom & each of you!
Thank you Alyssa!
Thoughts wrapped in words slathered with love sprinkled with smiles.
Aliza, a beautiful humanscape of peace and turmoil, of strength and fragility, and beatitude and woe, swept up in the love and grace of Jesus.
Thank you, we love you, nana and poppa
Papa – you’re the best. Love you more than words can say.
Your story is just beautiful; we all have them. Although I have never death with cancer with any close family member, I do have friends that have gone through this dark valley and I’m sure they can experience the similarities. God is faithful and His promises are true for all of us who go through trials, and for sure, if He brings us to them, He will bring us through them and we will be stronger for have done so. God Bless you and your family.
That’s right – God IS faithful, always. Even in all my doubting, He remains faithful. Thank you, Veronica.
Wow. So powerful and so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. God bless you, your Mama & your family.
Sheila in Oregon
The Lord has blessed you with a wonderful gift of writing. This is such a wonderful tribute to the love of your parents–modeling true love for you and your brother–and the greatest love which is that of the Lord Jesus! I cried and smiled, all at the same time, and then tearfully read it to my mother. Words like stunningly beautiful; stark and painfully simple; heart warming and painful all together. Thank you so much for being a obedient Christ-follower to share your heart and expose your personal experience…and graciously, lovingly, beautifully point us the our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ…our Bride groom. <3 Blessings and Shalom Peace (yes, that is DOUBLE PEACE). May the Lord continue to inspire you and your writing (I too am a writer).
I knew I would live this when I saw the title. Beautiful! You are a blessing to everyone you touch. Thank you for sharing. He is so amazing.
Beautiful!
“Jesus was on her right side, my dad on her left. Eli and I stood behind. I looped my arm through his and watched.” Breathtaking, sister. All of it.
I am sobbing thinking about the emotions that had to have been in the room that day and the love you all shared together as a family and how you still put Jesus right there beside your mama. It’s a scary walk and a hard journey but when you hold Him close there is this peace that doesn’t exist anywhere else. I pray for you and your family. I pray courage and strength. I pray healing for all of you and when you come out the other side I will be praying then too!
Dear Aliza
God has poured into you the wisdom of the agesp and gifted you with an uncanny ability to pour those ageless truths into our hearts as we read your words. I am reminded today of your Mom at the piano, hands delicately accompanying the voice of an angel (her own voice) praising God as she sang “give me Jesus”!
She could write her own verses these days, and I can hear her clearly as she ends each new verse with “give me Jesus”. I know He will be her portion and bring her healing. Amen!
That is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. The way you have captured Jesus love, your parents love and yours and Eli’s love brings me to tears. Please give my love to your mom, tell her that she is in my prayers. My prayer goes out to all of you while you go thru this difficult journey. May you continue to feel God’s love, to be able to strengthen, support and hold each other up and that God may bring healing to you mom.
Aliza, you can’t imagine the depth and importance of this post for me today. On Monday I have my 1st appt. with an Ongologist. I have been diagnosed w/grade 1-2 pre-cancer, at 3 it turns to cancer. It is very aggressive and I am scared. I do not want surgery as this can mean a colostomy bag (I’m only 47). I’m grateful it’s found so early but afraid of what’s next. So today I sit at the feet of Jesus. Clinging. Clutching. Grasping His love. For He is with me. I will be praying for your mom and family that you all will be strengthened as HE carries you through his trial. He is Faithful. (James Chapter 1) Thank you for sharing your heart.
Dearest Lisa – my heart goes out to you. Please, please know, my mom and I will both be praying for you through this journey – especially on Monday. PLEASE feel free to email me (alizalatta@gmail.com) if you ever feel you to want to talk to someone who is also going through it, as my mom says she would love to talk to you. I am praying for you, dear Lisa, the same prayer I utter for my mom every day – that you would be wrapped in the comforting arms of Christ, that you would lean on the hope of Jesus, and that God would heal you with His ultimate power.
You are so incredibly loved, Lisa.
Aliza, I read your blog today. It was beautiful. The picture of the bride looks so much like Christie and the dance she will dance and is dancing right now with the great Son of Man. I believe He is writing a song in her heart that she will sing and it will draw the world to Him. With my love and prayers.
Aliza,
Your words are pure poetry. Loved how you compared your father’s love for your mom to Crist’s love for us.
I have a similar circumstance. Years ago mom got sick and was in hospital, rehab, etc. for 1.5 months. When she went home her dementia turned into Sundowner’s. She became pretty much bedridden 24/7. My dad lovingly took care of her for 2 years. We were able to get hospice to come in and help some. He did all the hard stuff. He cleaned her up at all hours of day and night. That was true love to me. He was there for her during her worst times! He was right there when she was asleep and could not be awakened to take her pills. You have to admire men like my dad and yours. It is hard on them, but they show us Christ’s love in action!
Blessings 🙂
Thank you so much for this BEAUTIFUL article. It brought tears to my eyes remembering that my sister also went through a cancer bout and our sister who is a hair dresser, shaved her hair off.
My sister’s faith in Christ was strengthened having to go through this horrible period in her life, and God being as faithful as He is, brought her through. Praise HisName!
I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this. I know cancer. My family knows cancer. Thank you for the balm of your written words, they speak volumes.
He is there. He is always there. I just don’t often recognize Him nor feel His amazing Love. Thank you for sharing your story. It is powerful, beautiful and inspires me to be more aware of His Love and presence each and every moment, even – mostly – in the very difficult moments.