About the Author

Emily P. Freeman is a writer who creates space for souls to breathe. She is the author of four books, including her most recent release, Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World. She and her husband live in North Carolina with their twin daughters and twinless son.

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  1. Emily,
    What a powerful and touching post! I would say, right now, I’m in a fog…and I am most like Thomas (the doubter) inching my way through the doubt laden fog that surrounds me. I am waiting on several fronts – to see evidence of God’s hand in the heart of my prodigal and hurting son. I also wonder, at times, about what God is calling me to and I doubt my abilities.

    What reassurance, though, that God praises my name in the midst of my crises. He doesn’t look at my ability, but instead looks at my availability for Him to work through me. I am trying not to waste a good crisis so I rest and abide and wait for what God is going to perform through me.

    Thanks for the encouragement to keep putting one foot in front of the other…
    Blessings,
    Bev

  2. I will have to think on that question…who do I relate to? But, I do seem to be in a crisis. Or coming out of one maybe? My whole perspective has changed. From forging ahead on my own…to being still, being present and united in my marriage…submissive…in order to live and walk in Christ. Love stays home…under the covering of the husband…or it begins to look like a prostitute. Which makes me wonder…what does it look like for the church to be submissive to Christ and to function under the covering He provides? Love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, for all…

    • So glad you’ve come, Sarah. Though I’m not sure I completely understand what you mean when you say love stays home, I trust as you walk your own path that you are aware of Christ’s loving presence with you.

    • I know who I relate to…Sarah…trusting and submitting to Abraham…trusting him with her very life. Later in Hebrews she is counted and remembered for her faith.

      Love is the seed that was planted…it was planted in families…love is meant to grow where it was planted…Love stays home….it doesn’t make the world conform to it’s ways…it loves the world as it is…For God SO loved the world…he sent His only son to church…Why? because the church was wrong…it crucified the son…and it hates the world….but, that is not God’s way. God’s way is love. Grace. Forgiveness. Just as I am….without one plea…it is the song for every one. All different. All diverse. Love doesn’t change the world. Love stays home.

      • amen sarah….. and it was home, even when the prodigal son decided to leave it to the world.. He left it at home.. but praise God, he realized it was at home and he went back. on his way back indeed he found love, grace, mercy, forgiveness and all….. mhhhh can you please send me an email at myzaness@yahoo.com… or kindly provide me with yours…#blessed

        • Hlumisa, at this time I am practicing stillness…and staying home. I hope you understand as I practice, I do not yet feel comfortable sharing my information. But, I’ve written yours down and when I am ready to take that step…I will email you. blessings. It might be a while yet.

  3. {Kathy} Ah, I too know this fog. It rolls in without a notice until our vision is obscured. John The Baptist is a beautiful model of how we should process this doubt, this mist. Thank you for clearing through a bit of it today with this post.

    • I’ve really found a kinship with him these past few weeks, at least in this very small part of his life story. I’m glad these words helped the fog clear a little for you, too!

  4. I have to say I love this post and I really can not pick one person I think of but just some key phrases. My big one I am trying hard to always remember is “be still and know”. I am still learning His words. Another one I have stamped on a cuff that I wear is “I praise you…..I am fearfully made”.

    Thank you for sharing today, have a blessed day.

  5. Thanks for sharing. I never really thought about relating to myself as someone from the bible. I’ll have to give that some good thought.
    I’m so thankful for all the insight the bible leaves us with. The truth of the word of God is what gets me through the difficult times of life.
    Have a blessed day Emily!

  6. It’s easy to see John as the wild prophet in the desert through scripture, but hearing his questions and his doubt makes him feel more human, more like someone I can relate too, despite all the locust eating.

    I identify most with David, always have, for his intensity of feeling, his frequent shifts between faith and despair, his poetic soul. I can’t rival his intensity, but I understand a little something about his heart. Or at least, I want to understand it.

  7. I SO want to be like Ezra. I know, crazy, but listen to this…. from Ezra 7:9-10– for the gracious hand of his God was on him. (10) This was because Ezra had determined to study and obey the Law of the Lord and to teach those decrees and regulations to the people of Israel

  8. Jon Thurlow has a song called John the Baptist that I immediately thought of when I read this. It’s beautiful – blessed are those who are not offended in Me…when I don’t look the way you thought I would…

    Your words have been a blessing in my life, Emily, and I bless you with hope and strength and joy as you go through this foggy season.

  9. What a blessing this morning….refreshing that scripture is ALIVE! I’d never noticed this. Thank you….

  10. Thank you for the encouragement, Emily. Speaks volumes to where my heart is at right now. Appreciate your transparency and inspiration 🙂

  11. I am definitely David! He makes me laugh and cry the way he is almost manic-depressive, but I love him and understand him more than I can Paul, who drives me nuts. Paul is more like my teacher. My life is constantly in a slow fog, whether I create it or it comes on it’s own. I shifted away from that niggling sense to stop and notice what was going on and now I cannot see land. I’m spending time going back and forth between quietly trusting and wild rants at God to come save me from my mess … even though my crisis is nothing at all to those who are living a true crisis. I am David. And God loves me and spends endless time loving me, tolerating my weakness, and best of all, being entertained by me. Sounds a little irreverent, but there are times I know He is laughing because there I go again and He has something up His sleeve and can’t wait to show it to me.

    Kapil, I feel that often, there is no need to wield a pick axe and scale the wall when God is holding the door open. We just need to stop doing and turn around so we can see Him standing there patiently waiting for us to step toward him. And He’s not just standing there. He’s got a big smile on His face, pleased and happy to help us through. I love my God!

  12. I feel like I most relate to Esther right now. “For such a time as this.” The Lord has really been directing me — hands-on-shoulders-turn-this-way-now-this-way directing me — since August to take His call to me to write seriously. Oh, I’ve written for a living (i;e;, writing for hire) these past 20-some years. But He’s given me visions over those years of writing what He places on my heart and being bold to put it out there. So I surrendered to Him late last summer, and I signed up to attend the Re:Write conference in Austin in October. Best decision I ever made (OK, besides accepting Christ as my Savior and marrying my husband). And then He called me to walk away from my freelance career in November. Again, another very good decision. And then He set out to barrel-roll wrestle every doubt and fear from me over the winter months until I finally said, “OK, Lord. I submit. Tell me what you want me to write about.” And THEN, wouldn’t you know? A family crisis hit that blew the roof off my safe and neat world. It’s big and it’s messy and a jumble of a cultural-theological mess that’s challenging everything I know about grace and love and acceptance and loyalty. And above all the din of this train wreck I keep hearing, “For such a time as this have I called you to bring My message.” So, yeah, I identify with Esther and feel like my life is on the line as I try to make sense of this and stay close to God in the process. Thanks for your words, your willingness to share them with us, as well as your willingness to share your craft and calling with the rest of us writers, Emily. You are a blessing in my life.

  13. I needed these words today -right this very second. I have had not one but four crises come by storm in just a few months’ time. Thank you for the encouragement, Emily, as always.

  14. Oh my goodness, i was THINKING about the John scripture bfore reading. Im hugely disappointment and God comes to me like He did John, ‘but Gods purposes are going forth’ even if it doesnt look like it. How my flesh is like you are just telling me that yeah i know what YOU want but im not even on that right now. Its sort of a slap in the face, but reminds you His plan is not yours usually even when you are working for God

    How we think its about US and what WE want. Then God comes and tells us His agenda isnt even close to mine. And i have to lay that dream, expectation or goal down.

  15. Wow did I need this today! I feel like every aspect of my life is in crisis right now. My marriage, my job, my ministry, my yearnings to feel fulfilled in what God has called me to do. I guess I feel like the apostles in a way, crushed but not pressed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed! Though the sorrow may last for a night, joy comes in the morning.
    I am waiting, hoping, and believing for my morning of joy!
    Thank you for writing this! Such a blessing!

  16. Thankful to God for your willingness to “share your fog”, Emily. I was just praying earlier for a friend who has done the same and amazed by the strength evident in the act of sharing her weakness.

    It is when we can admit our weakness and feelings of failure that we are most strong because we’re acknowledging we cannot do it on our own – we are letting others in; letting Christ in to do what He does best. Love us. Redeem us. Make us whole.

    Blessings to you even amidst the fog, Emily. Prayers that it will clear sooner rather than later even as you cling to the truth of God’s grace surrounding you.

  17. It seems most of my life has been a series of storms – which I learned is normal. What threw me off, was when I was finished with cancer treatment, and I felt so anxious…it was unsettling to experience the calm. I was waiting for the next storm to hit! What my wise friend told me is that God gives us calm before the storm to rest and recover our strength. I learned that yes, the next storm is on the way, but that I should cherish the peaceful space that God gives me. I’m learning to rest, and not worry about the next storm (for it will come); God will hold me through it all!

  18. Dear Emily … some of the most important conversations I’ve ever had were with a wise spiritual director, smack dab in the middle of the raging seas. May you find your heart moments with her to be life changing as I did …

  19. If I could I would give you a BIG bear hug. Thanks for this word and thanks for your spiritual director. I want to express more but you have heard it all before. cindy

  20. Emily,

    Holy, precious, big tears! This is absolutely anointed & beautiful!

    There are so many phrases you use in this post, that I could re-quote saying how awesome they are… but this one stood out the most, because it went straight to my own heart:
    “my works are evident in the world, but my life is evident within you”

    Friend, thank you for being a willing vessel-God’s word never comes back void & you have truly spoken Truth. You truly are here, “for such a time as this”. Thank you! ♥

    • I agree Satin!! Each of Emily’s words, carefully and beautifully chosen, each and every one sank deep into my soul.

      This will be stay with me today: “my works are evident in the world, but my life is evident within you”

      Make this true in me today Jesus.

  21. I just got done with my Spiritual Direction session. A good session where I was able to process and see. I am in a crisis and even though extremely heart breaking and painful, it’s not bad. The pain is intense, I am broken and my heart is sliced. I am rejected and still… it is not bad. God is clearing the dark, making space for the light. He is healing abandonment and rejection, both very painful things to have suffered and He brings me to a place of freedom and wholeness. This crisis really picked up last week and since then I am just reminded of Jesus. He was in a crisis and yet, it wasn’t just a bad thing. He was alone and rejected, it was dark but all for the cause of wholeness and love. And so I am reminded constantly that my walk is like His (accept I didn’t save anyone): I can look at my crisis at it being a honor to go through it for the sake of wholeness and healing, for the sake of Jesus. It doesn’t make it less painful but what a gift I can hurt in light of the cross.

  22. ps. I really loved your post. I can see it blesses a lot of people. It was so very Godly. God bless you and praise God for who He made you to be!
    Love!

  23. My eyes are really tearing up as I read this, Emily. What hope there is in “Evidence of Me is everywhere.” I’ve been asking God this week to roll away the stone from my heart. I am in a gloomy fog feeling like the women on the way to Jesus’ grave – “Who will roll away the stone?” The eyes of their hearts were so downcast that at first they couldn’t see the stone was already rolled away. I am so trying to see God’s evidences, but like John, I can’t see much from the prison – for me, the prison of insecurity, shame, and depression. But the truth is, as you have written, “Jesus praises John in the midst of what was perhaps the darkest, most discouraging time of John’s life.” Thank you for this comfort today, Emily. Jesus still sees us and knows and cares so deeply.

  24. Emily,
    Thank you for your honesty and willingness to to be raw and real. Oh, how God is reaching out and bringing healing through your words! The first person that came to my mind when I asked myself who from the Bible I am most like at this time was the rich young man who approached Jesus. So I quickly turned to his story in Matthew 19. I wept as soon as I read his question in the very first verse. “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?” I can get so caught up in “doing good things” that I miss the whole point of my existence. I was created to worship my creator with my whole being and obey His commandments, trust His ways and let Him love and serve others through me. When I do that, joy fills my heart, my days, my life even in the midst of crisis. Blessings all over you, Emily, for saying “Yes!” to Him!

    • Sheila! What an interesting perspective – It really hit me that’s where I’m at to. I get lost in all the doing and serving, and in the end I am not really serving God(that’s of course what I want to do). Because I don’t listen to what He tells me to do. I can’t hear any of what He tells me, because I am too busy doing all I think is good, right and what I am SUPPOSED to do…

      Last week-end Jesus reminded me that it is okay for me to be where I am at(where I don’t FEEL capable of serving and doing), and He will meet me and use me exactly where I am. He also told me(through a perfect stranger that knows nothing about me) that I must not worry about how to serve Him, because He will show me a way that is so natural to me that I wouldn’t have thought about it on my own!

      It is so encouraging to know that when I can’t hear Him in all the chaos(that I have created), He finds a way to get my attention and tells me to be still and not to worry. It is so wonderful to be reminded that it isn’t about what we do, but it is all about what Jesus did, and about telling that beautiful truth to others so they can be free as well! It is so true that the true joy is to obey Jesus and let Him work through us!

  25. I understand this slow dripping faucet crises. Some more I wake up in a vague fog, knowing all is not as it should be. I wish I could stay in bed and not face the day, but I get up and just keep on with the feeling sitting on my shoulders.
    I don’t really know who I identify the most with. Mary comes to mind. She must have had such dreams and then a slow realization that things were not going to be as she imagined. The day the angel spoke the good news she could not possibly have envisioned the cross.
    But in time she understood. He became, to her, all that He is to us.
    This is so well done Emily. Praying for you as you walk through your days.

  26. Thank-you, Emily, for sharing your heart with us this morning! I’ve been wondering for months about what my problem has been! It’s that slow-rolling fog, when you look up and all of a sudden you’re engulfed and wonder, “Where am I and how did I get here?” This fog is a culmination of several crises (both big and small) that I’ve probably dealt with through my own strength, and it’s now holding me down under the thumb of oppression.
    I seem to relate to Elijah, when he ran off in fear for his life (1 Kings 19:1-18). I mean, my physical life is not in danger, but my spiritual and emotional life is. “I have had enough, Lord.” He responds, “What are you doing here, Shelley?” I start to cry, “I’ve done this, and tried that, and it’s come to this!”
    And out of His unfathomable loving-kindness and mercy, He instructs me, “Go back the way you came…”
    I know He will be with me (and you) every step of the way as we find our way out of the fog and into His glorious light!

    • Shelley! How well described and honest! How wonderful that you see that He is with you every step of the way. I would like to tell you that you don’t need to find your way back. Perhaps you need to walk back a few steps, but Jesus will light all the way for you. He will light up the trail, so all you need to think about is following the light. You don’t need to find that way, because He will show you.

      I realize in the moment I am writing this, that it goes for me too.
      I am standing by a road that split into several roads, and I have been wondering which one is the right one. I’ve heard it been said, “When nothing goes right. Go left” And it is a little like that with Jesus. We need to follow the road He lights up, and it is not always “the logic road” He has lit 😉

  27. Sometimes God puts us in a fog ( in my case for many years) until He knows we can except the reason. Then He gloriously lifts it so we can see clearly. I’m in this newfound clearness now! So beautiful & peaceful! I ask that you pray for me to stay on the course God needs me to be. If I can help anyone that’s in a fog like mine was it would be awesome!

    • Praying for you =0)

      I just want to share something with you:
      Years ago I was in a huge storm, there didn’t seem like no way out. Jesus was there y my side, but I didn’t know Him and therefor couldn’t see Him. But When I look back, I clearly see Him by my side all the way. I have found it difficult to believe one of the promises in The Bible– The one where God promises that He can do good out of everything goes wrong. Now, many years later I am living in the good He made out of that huge storm. I can daily see how He uses my experience to reach others. I am sure He will for you too, but we sometimes needs to be patient. Remember, God’s timing is the right timing(but not always understandable). Bless your heart!

  28. Emily, this post spoke to me on so many levels. I can relate to both kinds of crises and sometimes find the slow crawl of fog almost harder to deal with because there is no finite beginning or ending. It seems to drag on. It’s funny, I’d just been pondering John the Baptist as well. Reflecting on his question for Jesus from prison. John, who was so sure of Jesus when he baptized Him, who heard God proclaim that Jesus was God’s beloved son, doubted. He doubted in suffering. So do I. Suffering makes me wonder if God is who He says He is…especially when my life isn’t turning out the way I planned. I am thankful for the ways He reassures me even when I come to that point- and the way He reassured John the Baptist, and you. Thank you for this post!

  29. How these words blessed my soul!
    I relate to two. One is Abram. I have followed into an unknown destination. Still waiting for more direction. Leaning hard on His love and word.
    Yet I also relate to the Samaritan woman in the healing process where He is telling me he knows everything about my life and He has come just for me because He knows I need living water.

  30. The person I most identify with in the Gospel is the paralytic at the pool in the temple before he meets Jesus. When the waters of healing are stirred by the angel I have no one to help me get there and then if I try to go on my own someone gets there ahead of me. I feel like I need spiritual help and no one seems to care or notice. I try to lead myself to the pool of grace but there are so many who need more, who ask more, who just assume I am alright so they don’t ever ask or see me. I have not felt Jesus for a long time. If He came to me as He suddenly did in the temple, I would die of joy that he actually saw me. It is hard to give joy to others when you are so paralyzed without help………when you are not seen.

    • Denise- Jesus loves you so much! He told the paralytic, your Faith has healed you. Embrace your Faith in Jesus and be assured that you are not alone in this journey. I hear loneliness in your post- and I want to encourage you to call a friend, family member, neighbor, pastor or anyone to ask for help along the Way. You will likely be surprised and overjoyed by whoever the Lord provides to help you carry your burdens- just like the paralytic who miraculously made it to the roof with his friends – undoubtedly a struggle even with friends to be lowered through the roof! I will pray for you, too.

    • Please listen to this song–It’s for you and me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIZitK6_IMQ

      I can assure you that Jesus loves you and He WILL give you joy you can pass on to others, but the most important thing Jesus wants us to to, Before ANYTHING ELSE(I’m assuming you’ve already accepted Jesus as your Lord) is to understand with our hearts(not head, like I tried to do) and ACCEPT His love for us.

      Jesus sees you. All the time. He knows exactly how you feel, what your struggles are, and He knows the way out of them. And when it comes to everyone else–sometimes you need to step out of our comfort zone and make yourself seen. Sometimes you need to speak up to someone–to make sure they hear you, because we are all humans and can all fail to see someone when they need to be seen. But a true sister or brother in faith will want to be there for you if you ask them, and share your heart with them. Praying for you, and there is power in prayer!
      Sending you a virtual hug!

  31. Thank you, Emily, for sharing your heart and encouragement. Just 2 days ago in my journal I wrote the words, “I feel so scattered.” A fog slowly creeping up describes where I find myself. I have lived through many a crisis…both the storm kind and the subtle kind. Through them , Jesus has brought me closer to Himself. He has carried me beyond the cross into the love story written for me…a love story which I dared only view from the outside for many years. I now live IN that beautiful love story. I am His bride!

    Yet the fog can creep in…my heart can become overwhelmed…my spirit can become almost numb to His love. I can find myself trying to fix things that are not mine to fix…change things that are not mine to change. This morning I headed to a quiet spot in the mountains. God led me to Jeremiah 31. “I have loved you with an everlasting love…I have drawn you with loving kindness.”
    How often I stopped there. The rest of the chapter is like a call to come home…”You will come with weeping…you will pray as I bring you back…I will lead you beside streams of water…on a level path where you will not stumble” He led me to these words as I was sitting by a mountain stream. Gently He reminded me that He loves me and walks this journey called life with me. He also pointed out to me that I have been allowing anxiety and worry to lead to self pity. (hard words to hear) He is gently calling me…to come home to the place where our hearts beat as one. Our hearts still do and always will beat as one, yet I have allowed the rhythms above that steady pulse to become off from His. I knew something was wrong…His whisper of love has brought me home. I pray always that He will cover me with the grace….HIS grace…to always be aware of where I am in Him. I am His and He is mine. Always. Blessings on you, Emily.

  32. Emily,
    Thanks so much for your candid thoughts and feelings. I have just re-entered a recurring fog in my life here recently. Because of a quickening of the Holy Spirit to resign from a job that was compromising my conscience and walk with Him, I am now back in the job search mode again.
    I have to tell you that being a woman who is pushing 50, it is daunting out there. It has been two weeks now and the fear is starting to set in. Will I find something soon? Will anyone want me? WHY WON’T THE PHONE RING? I know my choice was in obedience Christ and that I should show more faith and trust that He is going to provide for me. I have always felt a kinship with the apostle Peter. I run hot and cold. One moment, I am boldly forging a trail ahead, the next, I am struck down by fear and failure. I am so thankful that even though Christ knew what Peter was going to do (or not do) as He does with me, He lovingly picks us up, dusts us off and asks us to continue on. God bless you for doing what you do.

  33. When someone can open my eyes to see something new in a passage i’ve read 100 times? Love that. And this reaches into where i am today. Thank you.

  34. Thank you Emily, for sharing when things are tough – you’re brave and you’re honest and those things are so much appreciated by us who feel we are in some way connected to you because of what you so willingly offer us.

    But putting my ‘parent’ head on, I can’t help but feel you need a break – a real rest away from everything. My heart tugs at your sad tone because yes, I’ve been there; I think most of us have. And it might be that the one thing you really need right now feels like the hardest thing of all to do: to switch it all off, take a step back and just be. Be with your family: be cared for; be nurtured in that small, gentle place where you are just you – mum, friend, daughter, sister.

    Know that you are being prayed for and wished well for by many, many of your readers. Hugs to you, sister.

  35. Thinking about Peter and how he started sinking on those stormy waves. Maybe he started relying on his own strength or turning his attention to the uncontrollable circumstances swelling ’round him? Maybe he forgot the power and presence of Jesus- who was right there with him? The One who even the winds and waves obey.
    A good reminder to welcome the Lord and others into our foggy place, so we can see more clearly. Thank you for sharing your heart with us Emily.:)

    • Katie- Your post reminded me of scripture when the disciples are in the boat with Jesus (who’s asleep). The storm comes with the seemingly uncontrollable circumstances–ohhh, Jesus stop this turmoil! He wakes from sleep and calms the wind and waves. I cry out often like the disciples, as I forget his power and presence too. He is so merciful to calm our hearts and minds in the midst of these storms of life! Thank you Lord.

  36. My slowly dripping faucet whispered quietly for many years. I chose over and over to ignore promptings to feel and deal. Quite suddenly I was emotionally flooded this past December. No longer could I put off. The fog I have been in since has been challenging, but is getting better.

    Recently, during a sermon, I came to realize I can relate to Peter. I have that false pride, the thing that holds me back from reaching out to people, because I believe I can handle it and other people have greater needs than I do. (I did not want to be like Peter. He is who denied Christ 3x!) A few days later, I went to my priest for prayer. Asking that I keep my focus on God when the stress and worries in my life feel bigger than He is. During prayer, he had a vision of my walking on water like Peter. Saying that I can do great things if I keep my focus on God. Peter only began sinking when he looked away.

    So, I am studying Peter more now. He is the favored disciple, so he is not all bad.

    • Kim- I do love Peter, too! Your words about false pride were so thoughtful. I often wonder if I could have courage to jump into the water…..if I could just get my focus on Jesus instead of my worries. Keep going forward in Faith.

  37. Wow. Wow. Wow. Just talked about John the Baptist today in bible study and pondered his thoughts sitting in prison while Jesus performed miracles. Beautiful insight. Thank you!

  38. I can relate to John the Baptist when he felt alone, down hearted and the crisis is at hand. The year was June, 1981. My son was born 2 months premature and was not expected to live thru the night, for you see, he only weighed 3 pounds and going down to experience his own crisis with tubes all in his frail, undersized body. My heart was inside of his incubator as I wished that I could hold, kiss and most of all, let him know that I loved him.

    My son’s pediatrician and I went to the Chapel and prayed together, our faith was really being tested. My son remained in the hospital for 2 months and 1 week. When we bought him home, he weighed 4 pounds.

    Now, he is an Industrial Engineer for Intel. He has excelled in everything that he has attempted to do. Now, he is married with a beautiful daughter.

    God does work miracles. I am a witness to his miracle, my son.

  39. Emily, this is so beautiful. Your depth of reaching deep into the scriptures and applying it to daily life is so refreshing. When I read some of your posts from your early blog days and then read the one’s that you are writing these days, the spiritual growth is so evident and such a testament of your obedience to the leading of the Holy Spirit in your life. It is evidence of fruit that is tended by the spirit. You are such an inspiration to many. Thank you. And this fog? It will lift and it will produce an abundant harvest. I too have felt the fog lately, but I am beginning to feel the winds of change and I know that He is faithful to bring us through. Many times I have felt like Thomas, or perhaps Peter who was so impetuous that he acted without thinking. I am just so thankful for Grace. God bless you and your ministry.

  40. Tonight I sit in a place of pain. My body hurts, way more than the usual pain I live with and my mind hurts. I’m grieving the death of my Dad, whose birthday it is next week. I’m grieving the loss of my husband of 27 years to another life, one where he is unhappy but refuses to change in ways that would make reconciliation possible. It is crisis time in my world, but it has been for awhile. I’m living in overwhelm and I feel that I have failed the God who made me because I doubt, because I fear.

    Last weekend my 19 year old daughter was healed of a long term shoulder injury and for the first time in months has been able to extend her arm over her head. We both praise God for that, it is a miracle. As the week has worn on and the pain in me gets worse, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve missed something. Have I failed to pray, to praise? Tonight the tears started pouring as I got to breaking point. Easter is all wrong without my Dad, we had a fragile and difficult relationship but he was my Dad and I loved him and I miss him.

    Then God shows up in the form of a blog, that nearly got missed in the wrong file in my email. He speaks to me through the blog and reminds me of words He has spoken to me in the past.

    The tears are still pouring, but I have more of a sense of God having ‘got this’. Thank you.

    • Christine,

      I am right there with you. It has been almost 5 years since my mother died. I miss her dearly. Now dad is not doing well. Know this my sister in Christ–God so cares for you even in your doubt and fear.

      God will always forgive and forget. Just take some quiet time and pray and ask for forgiveness. He is there waiting to love and hug you mightily!

      Blessings 🙂

  41. Thank you for this, Emily, today and always. Your words catch me and grab on to me quietly, and then rain down upon me, quenching my parched soul in need of sustenance. My crisis began quietly, just a trickle, but steadily grew into a chasm, a crisis so big and looming darkly, and I find I am being continually shaken to my core. I take my heed in Noah. I shared the oasis of 40 days and 40 nights as I was growing my son, hospitalized and alone with God to carry me and my faith through my darkest days. My son, now 18, spinning his life out of control for the past several years, and as my looming crisis threatens collapse on my family’s structure. We will persevere and flourish, through good days and bad, as I seek to not make my son my idol, and lean into the footsteps of Jesus and the teachings of our Lord.
    xx, Val

  42. Emily, your post has shown up at just the right time (again)! I have been pondering all day the question of which person of the bible I relate to right now…it’s the woman at the well. (I don’t have one husband or boyfriend now, so this baffles me). I love the way Jesus mercifully meets her just where she’s at in her daily life- kinda like He meets us by surprise in a blog! Thank you for your insightful ministry and your ideas sharing Hope are wonderful (neat! That it’s during Easter too.) I am so comforted to read others’ testimonies which increases my faith to wait upon the Lord in my own season of doubt.

  43. I just love you, Emily! Thanks for letting all of these words come out of you. I know they cost you… like when Paul speaks of his life being poured out like a drink offering over the lives of his followers. A life poured out is a life well-lived, but sometimes the pouring out leaves us weary. Thanks for pouring your life out. My life is better and my heart is closer to Jesus because of your books and blogs. I pray Jesus continues to fill you back up as you continue to be poured out for Him. I really appreciate it.

  44. My crisis mode began Tuesday when dad got put taken to ER and then into hospital. Now transferring him to rehab. What a week this has been–trying to work and take care of him, run errands.

    I feel now like a mac truck just ran over me. Not sleeping. I know God will see me through this and bring beauty out of ashes. 1 good thing is that I have 2 of my sisters here to help out and I get to see them and talk with them some.

  45. Emily-

    Thanks for posting this! It showed up in my inbox when I needed to hear these words the most! A couple weeks ago just a few days before I was going to leave for a family vacation to Europe – , my car was broken into, the man of my dreams broke up with me and then during the vacay, I lost both my grandparents and while in Europe, I am only wondering why me God? why????

    Everytime I overcome an obstacle, I am hit with more and as much as I tried to enjoy my time in Europe, it just became too hard to handle at times and I couldn’t help but breakdown to tears….

    I want to be thankful but it just gets so hard during times like these…

  46. Hannah. I haven’t studied the people of the Bible but I remember hearing Hannah’s prayer and it really hit home.

  47. I’m also going through some deep fog. God knows how patiently I have been waiting for him and some answers. Maybe they aren’t answers that I can be trusted with right now. I’m going to be patient and keep trusting in the Lord.