About the Author

Brooke is a 30-something single woman who loves Jesus and is just trying to follow Him every day. She works full-time in the publishing industry as a managing editor and spends her free time making pretty things, writing and attending as many Vince Gill concerts as she can. You can...

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  1. Thank you Brooke for your post. It is good to remember that He has to be enough for us, daily.
    I was encourage by your words, knowing that I am not the only one who struggels with the same problem. The text that helps me in moments like this is Jeremaiah 29:11. It is good to know that He has a plan for our lifes.

    • So glad this was an encouragement! And, thank you for sharing that verse-it is reassuring knowing that even when we don’t understand things, He has a plan.

  2. I can relate entirely to your post today. I have been in this boat before; thinking that I will never find the man I am supposed to marry and grow old with. I would become frustrated and saddened by that thought when all of my girlfriends were happy in their relationships they always seemed to possess; while I was more often than not, single. During this time I really drew nearer to God and realized that He was the one I needed to pursue, and that changed my relationship with Him in such a great way. Now I am happily married to such an amazing, Godly man. And I believe that I appreciate this relationship so much more because of that journey with God.

    I will be praying for you on your journey through this time with God.
    God Bless.

    • Thank you for your encouraging words, Amanda! God is definitely drawing me closer to Him during this time which is always a good thing.

  3. I love every single thing about this post. It has been such a privilege to get to know you a bit through the blogging world, and I nodded my way through every word you wrote here. I remember trying to hurry up and prove to God that I HAD learned this lesson so He would be free to bless me with a husband. {Clearly totally defeating the purpose OF THE LESSON.} Thankful for His grace, patience, and mercy as I stumbled my way through that. Many days I still have no idea why He one day whispered a yes to my prayer, but I beg Him to never let me forget the journey that took me there. Continuing to pray with you for fulfilled dreams…and I love seeing you thrive in Him as you wait.

    • Thank you, Bekah! You, your story and what God has done in your life have been such an encouragement to me-thank you for your prayers!

  4. Brooke, thank you for sharing your heart -it was like reliving my life 10 years ago….I sooooo feel your struggle. Fast forward 10 years -a husband and 3kids back to back later-I sit here finding that letting Jesus be enough is still an issue for me…..seriously? Yes….and I even find myself lamenting no time for “me” when I used to lament my loneliness and desires unfulfilled. But He and His grace are greater -always. And Satan is a big fat deceiver. May we all rest in His grace and the truth that He is enough in all seasons -in drought or monsoon.

    • So true that Satan is such a deceiver! There are so many lies I’ve struggled with and continue to some days but I am so grateful that God has made me aware that they are lies. Grateful we have Him to rest in.

  5. Wow, Brooke. Thanks for your transparency. I have totally been there. I remember driving down the road one day asking God for a husband, and He asked me this: “Why do you want a husband?” And my gut response was: “So I will feel like someone loves me.” God was not enough for me either. And I didn’t ever mean for that to be the case! I really didn’t. It was just true; I had never really felt like anybody loved me. But from that moment on, He started teaching me how receive love from Himself directly instead of looking for it from others. I had never had a loving family or anything, so I had zero experience with real love. It’s been years, and now I know that Papa loves me. I thank God that He knows us well enough to bring those things to light that He needs to heal, so He can set us up for His very best. 🙂 Hugs!

    • Thank you Jamie for sharing a little bit of your story-God’s love and His healing are such gifts! Hugs to you, too!

  6. Oh, Brooke, can I share with you that my girlfriend and I were discussing this very issue (that of Christ being enough) the other morning over breakfast? Yet we were discussing it in terms of our husbands – surprise! – and how we need to look to Him to fulfill us rather than have unrealistic expectations of our human men. Sigh…
    Seems the answer is the same despite the problem! I know it is of little comfort, but I so admire your quest for a complete relationship with Jesus so that your heart is READY for all of the joys and challenges of marriage when it comes your way. I wish I had had the maturity, faith & grace to have done the same. Many blessings on your beautiful heart. ❤️ (Jeremiah 29:11)

    • Thank you for your kind words, Cynthia! It’s true no matter where we find ourselves in life we need to look to Jesus first above all.

  7. Oh, Brooke, I can so relate to your post. I was single until I was 37 and struggled with all of these feelings, and the desire to have God be enough. I married the perfect man for me at 37. A true gift from God. God called him home this past January, after 21 years of marriage. And here I am again, asking God to be enough for me, even in my grief, even when facing a life of singleness again. Maybe the struggle to let God be enough is one we will face in varying degrees until we get to heaven?

    • Praying for you, Lori, that you will feel God’s presence in your grief! I think it’s definitely true that as we go through life we each will have struggles in varying degrees of letting God be enough no matter what season we find ourselves in.

  8. Just this morning in my time with God I was asking the same. I have such a need for connection with my husband. When we are not connected I panic a little. This morning I realized I want that panic when I am not connected to Him! I do skip this time with Him at times, a time I just don’t want to skip with my husband. It was a good conviction. And even though He is always committed to me, He is always connected with me, I want it the other way around. And I want to yearn for Him just the way I yearn for my husband. More even because I know my husband can’t fulfill me, neither is it his job.

    On a different note… thank you for that Scripture. My life has been full of sorrow. Now that light has come in it’s hard to embrace that. That Scripture reminds me of what God has for me… JOY!

    And… I always wondered if I would ever get married. If it would ever happen for me. I see no reason why it wouldn’t happen for you just like there was no reason for God not to give me the desires of my heart, the desire He places there in the first place. I walked into my husband when I was 39 years old. It was a long wait but looking back, worth it and necessary. God bless you.

    • Thank you, Hope, for sharing and for your kind and encouraging words! I agree that God gives us the desires of our heart and He will fulfill them in one way or another–it’s the waiting to see how He’s going to fulfill them that can become so difficult.

  9. Thank you for your post, Brooke. I delivered my baby girl on January 9, but she did not live due to complications. The Lord reminds me moment by moment that He is enough. With you, I hope to let my biggest dreams go to the wayside and look at Jesus and say, “you are enough.”

  10. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” So if I don’t have the desires of my heart, does that mean I haven’t been delighting in the Lord? 🙁
    Cynthia (in her reply) is right. The answer is the same regardless of the situation. His grace is sufficient! Now to train my heart and mind to KNOW that.
    Father God, strengthen our resolve to rely on You and trust that You love us and provide for us, even when we don’t get what we desire. Amen

  11. Thank you for opening your heart to us, Brooke. It must be difficult, especially when a relationship went so far as engagement or being more serious. But I see in you a beauty from the ashes of your grief. God is giving you wisdom through it that we may be blessed with. God gave me a husband at 28 along with 5 children and now 15 grandchildren, but it still is not enough to fill me. Like you, God is the only One who can fill the empty spaces and heal the broken places. You have spoken the longing of my soul – “I want to let Jesus fill every inch of my soul and heal the broken pieces that reside there.”

    • Thank you, Trudy, for your kind words! They are an encouragement to me that God is doing something with the grief and pain-grateful that He makes beauty from ashes. I so appreciate you commenting!

  12. Though I am in the thick of raising littles and supporting my husband… I think in every season we can have the capacity to question the length of it, feel empty, desire something else… This just so spoke to me. “I want to be that woman who is completely satisfied in Christ even if my biggest dreams fall to the wayside. I want to let Jesus fill every inch of my soul and heal the broken pieces that reside there.

    I want Him to be enough because I know He is.” Me too, sister! Me too!

    • Yes, I think no matter what season we’re in, we can have struggles with feeling unfulfilled. So glad those words spoke to you! Thank you for commenting!

  13. “I want to be that woman who is completely satisfied in Christ even if my biggest dreams fall to the wayside. I want to let Jesus fill every inch of my soul and heal the broken pieces that reside there.”

    This spoke to me. Because even though I, too, am married and raising babies, I gave up my biggest dream to be at home. I love being at home, but there are days (like today) that I miss what I did so much. It broke my heart to let it go and even though I am healing, I have moments when the ache is too much. Your words reminded me that the One who called me out of it is more than enough. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

    • Thank you for your comment, Andrea! I think anytime we have to surrender something that is a big part of who we are no matter what it is, it leaves an ache and it’s an ache that only God can fill.

  14. Excellent post. I think anyone who has experienced prolonged singleness and the heartaches that come from broken relationships understand the vulnerability from which you are sharing this. I wish I had the words to explain it away or give you courage to face the next day. I don’t…but I know that He does. And I truly believe His Words…that weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Keep waiting for the dawn!

    • Thank you, Stephanie, for your comment-your words are an encouragement to me to remember that joy will come in some way!

  15. Brooke, your entry really resonated with me. Thanks for being so honest and open… I’ve also been realizing that seeking God first is easier said than done. It took a lot of brokenness to bring me to God’s feet only to be poured upon by His love and presence. There’s nothing like it in the world… Things change when you really experience God and put Him first…you hear Him better and your victories are more frequent. Don’t believe the lie that you’ve done something wrong or something’s wrong with you- that is the enemy. God loves you and has so much for you- only the best… The whole things not easy but it’s so worth it. I have hope for you !

    • Thank you for your encouraging words, Mijin! Brokenness will definitely bring a person to God’s feet as I have found out in the past year. So grateful He is always there to heal us!

  16. Excellent post Brooke, and as you can already see, you have lots of friends in here (including myself) dealing from time to time with the same pain … as you, I’ve been wondering lately if I’m ever gonna have a family of my own, people to cook to, kids to raise, a place of my own where to be that almost perfect little housewife … I’ve even put it on my prayer journal , but for some time lately, I’ve recognized that where I’ve asked God to give me a family to cook to, He has already gave me a sister, a mom I live with, where as childs from time to time I have to cook to and to be a little mom to, true, I’m not a mom yet, but I have people I teach and worry about as I would be with a child of my own I think; I don’t have a garden (which I’d love to), but God let me have little plant pots and now I already have a tomato plant. And I’m sure God know what is what our hearts want, but as He knows that, I’m now convinced that He want us to enjoy what we have right now. He is good, and he has given us more than we can at times see. Sometimes I think God whispers at my ear, “My dear, all in time; while you get prepared for all Im about to give to you, why not enjoying and embracing, all the things I’ve given you right now?” .. So, enjoy your tears, wipe them away and discover what our God has for us each day and let Him fill you. I’ll pray for you and for everyone of us to get filled by our Lord. God bless everyone of us! Love you all!

  17. Brooke, I had to walk this very same road and came to a point where God finally got through to me about being enough. What I found was not a sacrifice of the dream but a surrender of it. The longing in my heart had to be surrendered to God not to man (or to my flesh) but instead trust that God knows and sees and WANTS to lead it. It was hard… HARD. But God is faithful – faithful in the dark lonely nights and in the beautiful wedding march and in the stressful family life.
    May Gods faithfulness tangibly fill your heart today!!

    • Brandi; Your reply to Brooke has really encouraged me today. The fact I don’t necessarily have to sacrifice the dream I’ve been struggling with over the last couple of months; but surrender it to God & He will do what needs to be done in the situation. I just need to surrender as you say…..it’s so true to know this in our heads but to believe it with our heart! Thanks for sharing this! I’ve been blessed by the main post & others comments; but your’s just really touched my heart!!

    • I agree with Leighanne’s comment-that just because I surrender my dream doesn’t mean I have to sacrifice it. It’s a good way of looking at it. God wants us to surrender everything to Him trusting that He will work it out the way He knows it should be for our good, to put it in His hands and not my own. Thank you for your encouragement, Brandi!

  18. Brooke, thank you for being honest and real. As someone who is struggling in my singleness I was encouraged to hear that I am not alone! It has only been within the last few weeks that I have realized that I can admit to my loving Father that I cannot do this on my own. I love your simple prayer–“Lord, please fill up the empty places.” For so long I have tried to fill myself, or pretend that I was full, now I realize that I can only look to Him to do the work of filling me with Himself! What grace there is!

    • It’s always a comfort to know we’re not alone in how we feel. I am so thankful we have a Father who can do what we can’t. Praying for you that God will fill those empty places!

  19. No lie, singleness is tough. I wrestled in my 20’s. Dated a guy 4 yrs. Engaged 3 months and then find out he’s in love with someone else. Big Pain. And we tell ourselves (truthfully) that it’s better to break off Before marriage. And that’s correct. And it still hurts.
    Fast forward. 24 years of marriage, 4 kids, and a husband with cancer. Died. Left me, that rascal, to be with Jesus. Single at 50 just sucks. I’m terrible at it. I too wrestle when I see all the couples. It is a couples world, and esp. in church. And I Praise God for all I had and still have. I worship Him…and struggle at the end of the day. Shoot, we all struggle. We beg Jesus to fill us up so we don’t feel so Empty. But isn’t it that Empty feeling that draws us to Read of Him, SIng to Him, Love Him? And I know I have more Time to seek Him. Good Things. As for the lonelies, well, I don’t know. One day at a time. That’s all we can do. HUgs to you. May He be all we Need.

    • Thank you for sharing, Liz! It definitely is a couples world which makes the singleness even harder. You’re right-one day at time bringing our struggles and laying them at His feet. Hugs and prayers to you!

  20. Brooke–
    What a brave post! The best kind!

    When I think back to my single years I know I was you…wanting God to be enough…but eventually I made wrong choices because I never discovered how to really let Him be. Maybe the wounds and gaping needs for love from a somewhat broken childhood…but at the end of my singleness I made vows to a man I was desperately afraid to give up. Now it’s 13 years and 3 children later and it’s hard…still…to let Jesus be enough! Does not sound encouraging but the encouragement is this: no matter how it feels or how hard and even if you don’t find that “sweet spot” where Jesus takes the longing away…make your choice every day to let His timing be enough, His plan be enough, His promise for good enough. It’s shocking to find that marriage and motherhood do not completely fill us when our expectation has always been it would. But only Jesus can do that no matter the season of our lives….God Bless:)

  21. Amen! May this be our anthem, that he be enough, so that we would never be satisfied with what the world has to offer because we were not made for this world!

    Thanks for sharing! It is always encouraging to read that I am not the only one that struggling to be satisfied with the single life.

    Larissa

  22. Thank you for this post. It is good to know I’m not the only one that struggles with singleness and truly understanding that He is enough for me.

    • Thanks for your comment, Kristen! Yes, it’s always a comfort hearing from other singles that struggle with singleness like I do.

  23. I’m struggling with singleness at 57….was married to an unbeliever…raised my 27 yr old daughter with help from the Lord. I learned to lean on Him totally and remind women not to lean on their husbands but the Lord. But I’ve never found love and it still hurts to the core. People my age are mostly married, involved with their own families…and don’t have the time. I serve the Lord in many ministries but am weary …..sometimes I feel like I’ll never be good enough to receive that blessing….of someone to serve the Lord with…I know that’s not right but God knows the hurt that just won’t go away…

    • Praying for you, Janine! It does hurt to the core when it feels like most everyone else has found their partner and you haven’t-it’s a deep pain that not everyone understands. So thankful that God does-He knows how much it hurts and He will give us strength when we’re weary!

  24. Brooke,

    I have been there! It was late into my 30s before I got married. God had to get a good grip on my life and make sure He was number 1 first!

    I cried many a tear over seeing young couples get married–even my own nieces & nephews, much younger than me. It. just. wasn’t. fair. But then God never said life would be fair. I realized the wait was truly worth it@! He has blessed me with the most wonderful hubby in the world.

    During my singleness though I did get super close to Him. I did short term local mission trips to prison twice a year and helped out in other ways. Those were good times for me. Times of bonding with fellow Christians.

    Blessings 🙂

  25. Be still & know I am God – I have been trying to re-do the pieces in my life that I never understood. I am divorced now for many years, have the most wonderful children, & grandchildren, & great-grandchildren. When I first read this post
    I thought well, I’m older, less wiser, I’m not looking to be married again. That is a lie
    fed. When we have so much and we want a “larger audience” that can be misunderstood. I wanted A home again.
    Which I bought eventually. I fell in love.
    I lost both, again, I had narrowed – now I see
    even though I love Jesus, Always know
    Him, he wanted more of me..
    I was His audience of One. today I’m in an apartment, still single. It’s been the hardest lesson. I think back, i wasn’t listening to His Hard but softly Whisper.. I am enough! When I first read this post I though I’m older what do I have to contribute? Thank you for all your singleness & stories to share – we do need to listen, it’s we really are loved, we really do have enough in Him. That’s the missing puzzle piece to let be in His time. I kept trying to fit what I wanted because I was hurt and felt I had failed. This post put light on why Jesus keeps whispering –
    I love you, let me be the love of your life now, and maybe, just maybe that inner glow will be a beacon! Don’t run. Stand still And know I am God. Isnt He amazing!

  26. Hi Brooke – thank you for sharing this – it hits home with me. I am now 50 and have still to meet someone I wish to spend the rest of my life with and I understand fully when you spoke about seeing others become engaged or marry and have families and so often I feel like a 5th wheel. All of my friends have found someone and I still remain single. I find it hard to accept some days and often have thoughts of what is wrong with me, but yet I know that maybe God is working on either me or this man who has yet to come into my life and then again, maybe it is never going to be, the latter being harder to swallow.

    I pray often that God helps me deal with that missing piece in my life. I never dreamed I would be single at this age, but I have met couples who were single and met in their late 50’s or early 60’s and married for the first time, so I guess it is never too late. But I do pray God fills the empty spaces often and that He be everything I need. Some days are easier than others, I will admit, but God does seem me through those as well. I pray God is seeing you through as well.

    Blessings,
    Lori

  27. Thank you for this article. I needed to read this today. My boyfriend, who I was 100% sure was the one, had broken up with me 2 weeks ago. And through the midst of this, it has been very hard to see Gods hands. I feel like the rug was pulled out from under me and I keep asking God “Why? Why would you put this desire in my heart and now this?” I have to remember to focus on what truly does fill me up- Jesus. And although things dont make sense right now, it makes sense to God, and I have to rest in that. Thank you for your words.