About the Author

Elisa Morgan was named by Christianity Today as one of the top fifty women influencing today’s church and culture. She has authored more than twenty-five books, and her newest release is The Prayer Coin: Daring to Pray with Honest Abandon (www.theprayercoin.org). Connect with Elisa and her blog at www.elisamorgan.com.

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Comments

  1. I am struggling with a broken family and how it makes me feel. Our family may not look broken, but I see it broken. God is bringing me through it and I’m on the edge of freedom.

    • Kimberly…. I appreciate your honest, open heart here. Joining you in prayer for your family and for your freedom. I want it for you too! And your blog home is lovely. Glad I could visit you there too.

  2. This was good for me to read. I often put on a mask for the world and try to hide the”issues”, even though I know that’s not a healthy approach. Thanks for this.

    • I think sometimes we’re afraid if we let out a few tears the floodgates will break. Then I remember how He “is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Praying you find a safe place to share what’s on your heart.

  3. Me. My husband. God. The only ones who know the devastation and estrangement caused by the (often) terrible choices of one of our adult children. While God is our strength, it can be a lonely, isolating journey. I need to be reminded that every family has issues, whether shared or not.

    • Emily Freeman made a stunning statement in her book, A Million Little Ways, “But whole only comes after broken. Healing only comes after wounds.” I love that and it gives us all hope doesn’t it?

      Thank you for sharing a little of your pain here Christine so that I can pray for you today.

  4. Great Post! I love the way that God uses us. What the devil intended to be a shame-filled wound, God restores and turns into a beautiful work of art to be used for His glory.

  5. So glad you wrote this book. So many people try to fit the mold of the “perfect family.” Yet there is no perfect family. Even biblically, they were all dysfunctional. Thanks for the reminder that we don’t have to be perfect to be loved by God.

    • So, true Michelle. When I get too stressed out about my loved ones going this way and that, I remember Genesis (especially Jacob) and how God used that mess of a family line.

  6. Thank you for sharing parts of your story!! For years I was afraid that others would judge me, the good parts and the bad. It took me several years to really let people step into my brokenness, and although some can’t handle it, I find that most want to hear my story, so they can be not so afraid to share theirs. God can use each and every broken piece for his glory and for that I am truly thankful!! I would love to read your book!

    • I’ve been amazed when I’ve finally mustered up the courage to share dark parts of my story that the other person often has something that’s been hanging over their head too. Vulnerability is healing for all of us. So glad you’re finding some who can receive you in your brokenness and that you’re able to share God’s comfort in return.

  7. Thank you so much! Though I often think I’ve had a “good Christian life,” the fact is I have not. The Lord needs to teach me constantly that trials help us remember that we all are broken and it’s time to take the mask off. Heartbreak, messy relationships, failed dreams, they are all used by Jesus to bring us close to Him!

  8. My family doesn’t look broken and my extended family doesn’t look broken, but it is! Generation after generation has done what it could to hide the brokeness. I can still remember when I discovered my grandparents wedding date was just six months before my mother was born. My grandparents never celebrated their anniversary and they were married for 60+ years! That is something to celebrate!!!

    My own family has hurts and weaknesses and pains. I think we have been able to use them to help others, but I still feel shame about many of them. You are not alone in your brokeness! (that really should be a word!)

    • I agree, with you Jennifer, we all try to look as “normal” as possible, but we all have cracks and broken places in our families. I love how you are allowing God to use your the broken and hurt to heal others! Good job!

  9. Oh how we all can “tick off the boxes” of dysfunction, abnormal, not-enough – even BAD. In Jesus we are anything but. We are functional, normal, enough and made GOOD – even BEAUTIFUL. Thanks to all who are posting your heart stories here. You are courageous souls headed in the direction of discovering more and more and more of the GORGEOUSNESS God has in store through the broken in your days. God loves the broken. You. Me. Us. God uses broken families. Yours. Mine. Ours. Aren’t you grateful we have him? And each other?

  10. I have been broken…but, due to hurt, I then hardened my heart against Christ’s body, His people. In distancing myself from my brothers and sisters in Christ, I effectively distanced myself from Him. He is breaking me all over again and putting a true, unconditional love for His people in my heart. I can’t love others the way He calls me to, it takes a supernatural love that I can’t manufacture in my flesh, but I know that He can grow that in me. Thank you for sharing this! I look forward to many more times of brokeness before the Lord as He continues to peel away sin from my life like the layers of an onion until I become more and more like Him, conformed to His image. Praise the Lord!

    • I heard a really neat testimony the other day from a single mom who’d had bad relationship after bad relationship. As a result, she pulled away from everyone including the Lord. Later, she realized that she had been withdrawing and rejecting God, treating Him the way everyone else had been treating her. So grateful for the love that never gives up.

  11. Keeping things secret can really effect your family and who you are. My mother never told me about her dad and I still have questions about what really went on behind closed doors. He was an abuser and he tried to hug me in an inappropriate way. I cried and told my mother about him, but she just said, don’t go over there by yourself any more. That was when I was younger and I had no idea he was that way. My Christian grandmother seem to be in denial and my mother kept things to herself. She did not want me or my sister growing up hating him.
    All my mother’s brothers have been divorced, some of it due to other women. It is awful sad.
    I grew up feeling insecure, not sure I was really loved and accepted. It was years later through counselling that I was able to trust God for everything. I have two boys and pray everyday for them. My husband is a Christian, but it is hard when the world around you can influence your family in many ways. We are far from being perfect. We have our problems just like everyone else. It is true we are all somehow broken.
    Thank you for sharing this book. I read the book and would love to give one to a friend to read.

    • I have a friend who is going through this very thing. She knows the truth about a family member, but no one believes her and children are in danger because of it. Truly “The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but Jesus has come that we might have abundant life.” I’m so thankful for Christian counseling, both for my friend and in my own life circumstances. Praying you continue to know His deep love for you as you face the layers of brokenness in your family history.

  12. I was just talking about this to the wonderful women who work/volunteer at our local crisis pregnancy center. We are all so afraid to admit our “stuff” to others, that others don’t know they are not alone! If we were all more transparent we could help each other more! I know in my own life in the past it has been a matter of pride….I didn’t want others to know I didn’t have it all together, that my family wasn’t so perfect after all. Now I try to share with others, not just randomly of course, but when it’s appropriate, about my struggles and my family issues. Who knows, they may be able to help me or I could even be able to help them! God can fix all our issues if we let him!

  13. To say life was difficult when I discovered my husband’s sexual addiction is an understatement! Sexual addiction was and continues to be a taboo subject with many people and that really leaves us silent victims alone in our suffering. It is really hard to open up and talk about this, and it amazes me that when I do, most of the time, others will tell me they have gone through this, or a very close friend or family member has gone through this and I have been connected to some amazing people through our mutual sufferings. A true connection of broken people.

    • And the silence/secrecy only fuels the addiction from what I’ve seen. It is a blessing when what is done in the dark is made known so that the issues can finally be addressed. Praying for you as you, Denise, as you and your husband grow through this difficult time.

  14. Boy do you get it!!! Broken, bent, bruised – that be me – the family I came from to the family I now have. Hallelujah through it all Jesus has remained and endured. His word says “that where sin did abound, his grace did much more abound.” Isn’t that wonderful to know that His grace is greater than all our sin combined!!!

  15. A lot of people talk about being a child of divorce and how that has affected them. For me, it is being a grandchild of divorce. The brokenness from my parent who is a child of divorce made it hard for that parent to connect with my siblings and I beyond wittiness (including lots of clever insults) and playfulness. There was anger too and I deal with it in myself even now. I’m always looking for books to help me work through the collateral damage. I’d love to read yours.

  16. Broken – yep. Twisted family tree including multiple divorces; secret families; adultery; abuse; abandonment; addictions; homosexuality….you name it, it has pretty much happened in my family. And I married someone whose parents were married for 50+ years before his father passed away. Twisted dysfunction married to the Cleavers makes the twisted dysfunction seem that much worse.

    • Oh Amy, I can relate. We half joke saying our family puts the func in dysfunctional. It is hard. And for years I felt shame and didn’t even know why. I thought every other family was normal. We were the weird ones, so I should just keep it to myself. All I wanted to be was vanilla. Now, I can see we all have our brand of weird, no one is untouched by dysfunction. And God uses that brokenness to write a better story for us. You’re not alone….:)

  17. Checked off many on the list (plus some) and have experienced the pain of severed friendships after sharing. Now very difficult to open up, trying to overcome bitterness and not be a cave dweller.

  18. Been fighting cancer off and on for 8 yrs. Everything has been affected…relationships, finances, emotions, relocating for treatment, guilt…oh the battle of guilt. I’m feeling broken.

  19. I answered yes to so many of those questions….
    I’m trying to believe that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and those who are crushed in spirit!

  20. It is God. I just read the article right after I spoke with a lady who is battling with cancer and a son who is leaving her wife and kids. Because I could relate to both situations, I was a better listener and a better prayer warrior.

  21. 4 years ago my husband and I lost our first daughter. She was stillborn at 38 weeks. my parents divorced when I was 9, causing a myriad of issues for my younger sister and myself..low self worth, sex, drugs, drinking, abortion…

    I’m feel like a fish out of water living halfway on the other side of the country than where I am from. I sometimes feel like my head is still spinning. I want to fit in so desperately, and find close Christian friends but it just isn’t happening.

    I sometimes feel like i’m not doing right by our 3 year old daughter we have now. Sometimes I still am haunted by the feeling that I have to somehow ‘make up’ for our other daughter not being here by the way I parent our 3 year old. My husband works long hours (its expensive to live here!) I often feel lonely in my own marriage

    • Ashley, my heart is aching with you right now. It is so true how all those things seem to be like a domino effect with one effecting the other and so on. Praying God will send a real life friend to you there, someone who can give you an actual hug and walk through life with you.

      Know I am praying for you. You are not alone.

  22. I would love to have a copy of your book. I have so many friends who have broken families. I’ve seen the grief in the eyes of friends and family – divorce, homosexuality, alcohol, abuse, and prison. I would love to read the book and be able to share it with others as well as encourage others to purchase the book.

    I’m an avid reader and I’m always looking to read something that will allow me to grow in Christ as well as help others.

  23. Only God knows how much I needed to hear this today! Thank you, not only for sharing this encouraging, hope-filled word, but for following Him through it all so that you could show others the way!

    “We think our brokenness disqualifies us from being effective for Jesus in this world when the reality is anything but. Actually – get this? – brokenness, when put in Jesus’ redemptive hands, can actually qualify us to be even more useful.”

    This was the bullseye shot for me today. It hit right where I sit before God in a heap of exhausted frustration–frustration that my “broken-ness” leaves me fragile and cocooned in my home–the last place I want to be.

    “Re-formation” is the work God is doing in me through brokeness and surrender–of this historically self-reliant woman who has survived her shattering by relying on herself alone. (Which ironically brings more brokeness!)

    The hardest place I have ever had to walk, and I’ve walked in some hard, hard places, is to walk surrendered to God in blind faith and trust, wholly dependent on Him to put the pieces of my shattered soul together.

    Great message today…hit me solid.

  24. Yes, I am broken as a victim up sexual abuse. But God does heal the broken. Still striving for that. The books sounds like it could be helpful to many people.

  25. I was so surprised that I answered yes to so many of the questions asked. Some of them I have never spoken about while others I have gone through deliverance and have see the true love of the Father. I am glad I took the time to read your post. It struck a cord deep within my heart. I know that the Father loves us and wants His children to depend on Him no matter what.
    It is hard sometimes to walk the walk that the Father has planned for us but I must say He is always there and has never left me alone or destitute for His love gives me the strength and determination to see His plans through.
    Your words today encouraged me to see that I am not alone, and we are all together in this greater plan of God. Thank you for this post and sharing with us your encouragement and love.

  26. I can “check” off lots of those boxes and I agree beauty does come through brokeness. Through these, God has given me a passion to encourage women to “give it away”. Your words encourage me to keep going toward the ultimate beauty – seeing Jesus face-to-face. Thank you.

  27. Thank you for sharing this post! I sometimes feel as if I am living in my brokenness and hiding it from others. Your post really encouraged me that I am not alone. Not matter what my brokenness is, God is there for me and if I reach out, so are other sisters in Christ.

  28. What a timely read for myself, this post….I answer yes to so many of the questions. I know I am forgiven and loved by Him…and then something triggers the event, the choice, the memory… and the garbage messages that I thought had been dealt with begin and I cry out again and He once again, reaches in and reminds me that I am loved just as I am and that there is nothing, not one thing I can do because He has done it all for me. What an amazing God!

  29. Surely not alone. I have been through my fair share of broken situations. Adoption. Family torn aparty by abuse and addiction. The loss of a pregnancy. The abuse caused by countless loved ones. In and out of jail. Held in bondage to drug addiction. The unexpected pregnancy and illness I currently face…there is a greater plan in it all.

  30. A post that I needed to read. Yes, I too could answer yes to many of those questions. My daughter had a girl in high school and it was so tough to watch her go through that. With all of my daughter’s struggles, she has a wonderful 10 year old that grandma gets to spend a lot of time with and making memories.\
    I too am broken but need to remember God accepts us the way we are and will never leave us. I am so thankful for that.

  31. Too often it’s hard to imagine that an Almighty God, or anyone else for that matter, could love me when I can barely love myself. Why is affirmation from others so important? If God’s love is there, why am I struggling to see it and feel it? Your list of brokenness touched upon so many aspects of my own life. Perhaps I am not alone after all. Perhaps you and I have shared experiences, which, when hidden from others is double in their enormity but when shared are less burdensome. Through Him none of us needs to be alone. Thank you for writing this book and revealing your heart and story.

    • Hi Kate, I will be praying for you today! No, you are not alone. God sees you. He knows your pain. I pray that He will comfort and strengthen you today. One thing that I have found to be very helpful when I’m hurting emotionally is to focus on what I known to be true, not on what I feel. Feelings change and can be unreliable, but focusing on what I know helps me to get my mind (and eventually my heart) where it needs to be. Praying for you, dear sister! Keep on keeping on. May the joy of the Lord be your strength today.

  32. I love the realness in these questions. Real life is happening but we mask it with portrayals of perfection. Thank you for your transparency. Its definatley needed.

  33. You are not alone.
    I come from broken. I am broken. I have broken.
    God loves me in my broken. God will use my broken.
    This is beauty.
    I am not alone.

  34. Why do we all keep masking everything to present perfection?
    I guess we can’t all tell our whole, true, Jesus story to everyone…..but
    just be bold to tell our story and hope when asked by just one….

  35. It’s so obvious that God knows exactly what we need exactly when we need it. As I read this your post, I marveled at how God was speaking to my heart because I’ve been struggling with something that has broken me for some time and I’m working on a post that I’ll publish soon on my blog about how God is bringing me through it. You, Elisa, are most definitely not alone, nor am I. We all struggle with brokenness and that’s when God becomes even more real to us.

    • Cindy, that is so wonderful that you will be posting on your blog soon about God bringing you through your struggle. Thank you for having the courage to share. May God be glorified in your openness and through your words.

  36. I am broken. After a Fall season with the relapse of a much loved alcoholic nephew and the need to ask him to leave our home and the death of our 4 year old dog, my husband became ill and passed away in January. Thank you for the encouragement that God loves the broken and can heal and use the broken places.

  37. I’m only just now beginning to realize (I was going to say “understand”, but I’m not there yet) how much things I never even knew about have impacted me, and contributed to my brokenness.

    My mom went through some awful, gut-wrenching stuff when she was a kid and again in her 20s. Long before I existed, obviously. I didn’t even know about any of it until just a few years ago. But over the past year, with the help of a wise counselor, I’m realizing how much her past experiences impacted my life. I was her redemption. Her do-over. And her chance to protect me so fiercely in hopes that I wouldn’t ever go through the suffering she did. And even though I had no idea what was going on – or even that *anything* was going on, because it was just my normal – it was a terrible burden to put on a little girl.

    Add cousins with drug additions and teen preganancies, brothers who are generally okay but have their own battles … I was The Good Kid. The Perfect Kid. The One Who Has Her Act Together.

    But the thing is, no matter how strong or stable something may be, there IS a weight that it can no longer hold. And when that limit is crossed, it breaks. It fractures. It crumbles.

    I’m just starting to figure this out.

  38. We all experience brokenness at some point or another in our lives. What matters the most is that we allow God to work in and through us in order to bring healing and restoration.

  39. Wow….God’s timing is always spot on….I really needed to hear this. Really spoke to me and really what Ive been struggling with. Letting go of the imperfections is such a relief….and believing that God does still love AND use the broken….struggling with both, but believing.

  40. The brokenness overwhelms me and tosses me into deep depression. Then there is more brokenness. There can not be anyone who has seen as many counselors, as many doctors, been on as many meds all at the same time and had ECT treatments as me. And those I work with would be shocked to know just this one piece of brokenness about me and my family. I have struggled for over 30 years with depression and it just keeps dragging me down. I just barely get by it seems and treatment/meds has been continuous all these years. I know about brokenness….

    • Dear Donna, I’m sorry that you have had to walk such a difficult road. I will be praying for you today, that God will comfort you and give you strength and peace right where you are. Thank you for sharing today.

  41. Sweet Amy, because you have chosen to seek not only healing but release and reprieve from the crushing weight the sin of our forefathers can place on us, you are well on your way. I had similar experiences as a young woman but instead I chose to rebel. Wrong choice!! BUT He was and is faithful. When we truly seek Him, we WILL find Him!!!

  42. You are not alone. Thank you for being so brave to write a book dealing with so much brokenness. Only when a person is broken can he be a help to the body.

  43. I’m sorry you (and many others here) have been through so much heartache, Elisa, but I’m so grateful for a God who “loves the broken with a crazy no matter what love.” And that He can use the broken to reach other broken souls like me who need to know they are not alone.

  44. This was exactly what I needed to read today! I was just having a pity party because of some stuff going on in my life right now. My sweet, tender-hearted, handsome, gifted, loving, 20 year old son is gay. He and I have a wonderful relationship, and we both love the Lord, but it’s still difficult at times, especially when friends make comments in my presence about gays when they know about my son. Although this is not what I would have chosen for him, I can honestly say that I am glad God has given me the opportunity to reach out to other Christian moms whose sons are also gay. My heavenly Father knows exactly what I need, and I can always depend on Him to carry me through any trial that I may face.

  45. Thank you so much for this. I feel like your book would be a breath of fresh air to my heart. My husband and I are feeling extremely broken because of his parents right now. Just feeling the weight of dysfunction that has really affected us in some raw ways. The other morning I was just praying and crying over the mess we are in right now, and I felt God tell me “Who brings beauty out of the mess?” Isn’t that what the Gospel is about? Restoration, redemption! It is so hard for me to see how God will bring restoration in a very tragic, difficult situation- especially being in the middle of it right now and feeling the effects of it- but I know someday I will look back and see the beauty that has come out of this. What is meant for harm, God intends for good.

    • Hi Mic, I am praying for you today. I pray that God will bring beauty out of ashes. Yes, that is what the Gospel is about! Restoration, redemption, grace! Press on, dear sister. God can, and will, use all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

  46. We all have scars and brokenness.
    For some it is more apparent and visible than for others.
    God does become strong in my weakness.

  47. You are definitely not alone! I’m journeying through a life of broken right now. My 5 year old has been battling leukemia like a true warrior princess for almost 2 and a half years now. I have a family member who is dealing with homosexuality. A womderful husband who is battling his own addiction. And my own battles of sense of self. I am broken… WE ARE BROKEN. And I am SO glad I am not alone!!!

    • Oh, Sarah, I will be praying for you and your family today. My heart especially breaks for your little girl who is battling leukemia. “A true warrior princess” – may the Lord use her in mighty ways for her good and His glory.

  48. We all have a little or big brokenness in our lives. By being close to Jesus is one way of getting around that brokenness. So stay close to God or Jesus and friends that are going thru the same experience as we are. playfully.
    Becky Jones

  49. Did you secretly write about me? What a great ministry to those of us who have been well indoctrinated into the ups and downs of being a regular old human. I would love to win these so I can spread them around – for the broken who needs to hear they are loved by God no matter what and for those who have not been through it, so they can see the imperfect in a different light, the light of Christ.

  50. I’m a single mom and struggle so much with feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, lonely…you name it.

  51. Certainly familiar with family members struggling with alcoholism. Which shows me neglect and abuse over the years. I’m still very young and have experienced so much hardship.God is finally using it for his glory and just this morning I thought, it’s all starting to matter, it’s time to make a difference. . Sharing my story will met people where they are at and in turn give them hope, faith, and trust in God. Thanks for the post it was as if you were in my conversation with God this morning and you dictated just what we were talking about. He is so clever!

    • Carissa, I have addiction problems in my family, too. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt. You are right, and very wise to realize while you’re young that sharing brings healing and hope. I think God will use you to be a blessing of healing and hope in others lives.

  52. You are definitely not alone.
    I answered Yes to so many of those questions, I lost count…
    What you wrote today really spoke to me…especially this…
    ‘God draws near the broken. In fact, God loves the broken with a crazy no matter what love. Enough to break the body of His own Son so that broken you and me would know just how very much God does love us.

    And God uses the broken. We think our brokenness disqualifies us from being effective for Jesus in this world when the reality is anything but. Actually – get this? – brokenness, when put in Jesus’ redemptive hands, can actually qualify us to be even more useful.’
    Thank you.

  53. Yes, to several of them, with a big sigh. Life is really hard. God is guiding us through a big one right now and it is really difficult.

    • Robin, my family is going through something really hard as well. But in all the broken places, God has made Himself shine where we didn’t/don’t know what to do. It doesn’t mean the problems are fixed, but He sure becomes more real to those of us who lean into Him in trials. Praying for you, today!

  54. “Nodding in compassion. ”
    Being able to understand and communicate without a whole bunch of words. Just nodding. I understand. Let me tell you how I felt when “that” happened to me. Let me tell you how God showed up for me. You see, we all have a Grace stories. And, our Grace stories need telling.
    Thanks for this. It really hit the spot.

  55. I’m right there with you! I have struggled, and still do from time to time if I am being honest, with thinking that I am not good enough because people are going to know that I have been a “screw up” in their eyes. It is tough stuff for sure but I am also blessed to see how much the Lord has used my hang ups, my past mess ups, and my day to day struggles to connect with others and encourage them. <3

  56. Broken is what I am right now. The same night my sister confronts me about taking a look at my life and see how my husband’s actions are endangering myself and our son is the same night my husband comes home and tells me we need to separate. I am broken because I don’t know where to start. Where to go. What to do and I am exhausted already.

    • Chelsea, I am so sorry. I am going to be praying for you and your family today. I am glad you shared here, because I believe there will be alot of prayers going up for you. Please try to feel the comfort of our Lord and the comfort from these prayers and virtual hugs. This didn’t take God by surprise. He sees what you’re going through, your tears, your needs, what is amiss with your husband. He sees it all and loves you and is at work in these circumstances. Tight virtual hug and much prayer.

  57. Broken people break other people. I was broken by my dad so many, many years ago. And now I bring my brokenness into my family of 4 boys. How do I not break my boys?

    • Ronda, I am praying for you right now. I don’t know your story, but you are courageous to share the bit that you did. I pray for healing from your past and healing that no further problems continue. God is able to do mighty things in your life and you don’t have to perpetuate anything not of Him. He loves you so much and everything that is His is for you. If you His, you can rest in 2 Cor. 5:17: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.” Sending a virtual hug. <3

  58. I’m certainly right there with you! There’s so much brokenness in my family and for so long I was so ashamed and embarrassed horribly by this. Thankfully, God didn’t leave me here and I’ve learned to embrace this brokenness & see it as more room for God’s glorious light to shine through.

  59. My husband and I love each other very much…….but we are different and extremes from each other so our marriage in the early years were volatile. I was emotionaly insecure because of my broken family and he was afraid to show emotion. Not such a good combination. So our daughter was hurt emotionally though all this and to this day makes poor choices and I hurt for her so much. Also she got pregnant and not married (thank goodness because he was unstable in a serious way) We have had to be very involved in helping to raise our granddaughter and she started acting out three years ago….its gotten so bad she attempted suicide and went into a teen unit for 10 days. AT this time our hearts were so broken and then to find out she had been molested by a friends father at 5yrs old and carried it hidden all these years (she is 15 now) I felt almost destroyed! her mom in spit of other choices had always been so careful and protective of her and now with her daughters emotional breaks with reality at times she cannot be left alone AT ALL. We are getting all the help we can….have discovered she has an aneurysm in her brain on top of it all……its just totally emotionally exhausted all of us and we live in fear of her being able to do something that will hurt her……..she has cut but that has stopped . the meds they put her on scare us to death. they are doing neurological tests now and trying to find out how much of her people she sees that are not there come from where the aneurysm and no answers yet…….I feel like our family is broken and the only thing that keeps me going is my faith and my Savior. I wish my whole family had that but they don’t or at least not deeply. there is so much more I would tell but this is probably more than enough. I take one day at a time……I pray my way thought it and I do mean pray and at times carry that prayer constantly in my mind and heart throughout the entire day and even set that prayer as my intent just before I sleep and I can feel that it is being prayed thought the night too. I would so love to have the book .

    • Diana, I am so glad you know the Lord and keep His Word and prayers to Him on your lips and in your mind. I am also so glad you and your husband love each other. Those are wonderful things. I, too, have brokenness in my family. Some days I just have to do as you have wisely learned to do and breathe deep and walk around praying. I also listen to soothing worship music when I can do that during my day. I am sorry you are dealing with such difficult trials with your daughter and granddaughter. I am praying for you today and am so glad you shared here, because I know others will pray also. May you find peace in the midst of these hard times and may healing and answers come swiftly everywhere they are needed.

  60. I can relate, all the way through that list. Incredible. Thank you for this post today ~ needed it.

    I know the Lord loves me, loves us all ~ THESE things have driven me to HIM, the One Who Loves Us Best, the Only One Who can Redeem – not only my life, but the life all those that I love ~ that are so deeply wounded and affected by certain family members’ sinful choices.

    Oh the Redeeming, Healing Streams of His love, mercy and grace ~ We need Him and those tender new morning mercies, every single day… for us, and for the prodigals I love.

    THANK YOU, for your honesty. ~ Wow ~ The worst attacks I’ve received, have been from the “perfect Pharisees” in the church… still reeling and recovering from “Job’s friends…” that misjudge.

    Hugs,
    Debra

  61. Wow…instead of shame, beauty…what a wonderful thought. I have brokenness and have asked for forgiveness but I still struggle with shame (not as much, but trickles are still there). But to view it as God loves the Broken and there is beauty … that’s amazing and healing.

    • You are beautiful and pure in His sight, because of your repentance, Aileen. He has removed your sins as far from you as the east is from the west. He loves you as His bride. You are more than you could ever imagine. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

  62. There is brokenness in my marriage and relationship with my husband. A year ago things felt impossible but today I see how God’s been gently restoring us. At first it was hard to tell people, but once I started sharing my struggles with friends and family I trusted, I began to see changes and shifts. Offending a friend is like building walls around a city and nearly impossible to break down but with God, all things are possible.

  63. B.R.O.K.E.N. here! There’s not a relationship I have that is not in need of transformation and that is after checking off several areas on the list above. I’m still covering it up with some including avoiding those who share the faith…so easy to do with a smile! I have this perfectionism thing down pat. Would like to see what this book has to say about it all.

  64. I have to get and read this book! I, too, can relate to most of these posts. I was an un-married mom twice and in so many ways my brokenness being so public was really difficult but also such a gift. I had the freedom to not hide my sin because I could not hide my sin. Now, after 12 years of major health issues, I find that many people know only what they see of me…. married, 4 kids, live in a beautiful place, look fine when I leave the house….. but they have no idea about this journey of my life. I think we all probably feel like this. Wanting to have others truly know us for who we are and love us still. This is the beauty in Christ and the freedom we can have right alongside our physical and emotional pain. I so often feel like David in the Psalms…. loving the Lord and crying out to Him in despair and then thanking and praising Him in my next breath. Feeling as though my experiences could help someone else to not feel so alone, but not being able to feel like I can even keep up with things in my own life. Yes, there is beauty and strength in the broken!

    • Holly, you are the only Bible some people will ever read. You show them Jesus by living your life so courageously. You need no other platform to impact people for Christ. You impacted me, here, today, with your comment. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

  65. My friend’s daughter recently told her she loves another woman. She is broken and struggling to see/feel God in this.

    • Dianne, I am lifting your friend and her daughter in my prayers. Such a difficult path, but I have no doubt that God is walking it right along with her. I am praying that both of them will feel His compassion and comfort. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

  66. In some way all of these things have touched my life. As a hurting person and a Christian counselor this book would be a great resource.

  67. You are definetly not alone, none of us are. Thank you for helping me appreciate the beauty in some if the most ugly situations.

  68. Wow I so needed to see this! What an affirmation on my life and what God has been speaking to my heart. I an broken, my family is broken, my boyfriend an recovering addict is broken but thank God He can still use us all in our brokenness! I would love to get a copy of this book knowing it is right along side the journey and the thoughts and outlook I have on life! Look forward to it!

  69. I love your courage!! My husband and I are walking in the beauty of restoration after 10 years of brokenness and mess. God is a God that can restore even the most hopeless and we are proof of that! I think this is a book I need to read! 🙂

  70. I have been touched by far too many on that list. I have sat in church so many times wishing I didn’t come from such a dysfunctional background…feeling less than because of my family of origin and all our brokenness. I know God loves me and has helped me move forward and build a solid home for my children. But I keep my roots a secret, fearing judgement for the many skeletons in the family closet. It is good to know I am not alone.

  71. Yep, struggling… with shame, (not sure the divorce was biblically sanctioned – separation was absolutely essential, did divorce meets God’s written exception?); with financial complications and poverty that looks endless and hopeless; with fear for what grandkids are seeing / learning during visitation; with visible erosion of their spiritual understanding and love for God; with loss of ability to do things we have done with the grandkids due to visitation; with concern for daughter’s level of exhaustion and her endless meet four kids special needs; with personal exhaustion from trying to help; with resentment of loss of time with my husband because of what he does to help; with resentment that her ex got off with more income providing for one than she has to providing for five… A fresh look at God-sized answers would be wonderful.

    Thanks.

  72. I am a daughter from parents who are divorged. My father has left us several times by having afairs with other woman’s By the time i got four years old and it was obviously that he did not love his children and was out of hurting us, my mother took the brave decision to end the mariage. She choose for her children, for us, for me. In the 70’s that was not done, and people in the church were judging my mother without knowing what was realy going on in our family. They abandoned us and left us to our fate. I don’t know my father but he has left a lot of scars on my soul, but hey, it has made me stronger. My mother lived and lives her life in faith and that shows me how to deal with certain circumstances. It has made us stronger and we have a very good and strong relationship. So, in the end God made things turn out very well for us, and for that i’am very gratefull

  73. Oh how that list gleams with big fat red check marks. It could be so easy to let all those hidden marks define who we are and grow bigger as the generations go on.

  74. I said yes to nearly all of your questions. My fear lies in knowing that God wants me to share my journey; and how terrified I am to be judged by those I seek to help by doing so. Thank you for sharing your heart and helping my feet keep moving down the path He has laid before me.

  75. Reading this posting, and every woman’s brave stories shared throughout the comments, it really shows just how amazing we are as women and embraced in the love of God.

    It has taken me years to learn no family is without brokenness; there is no perfect family. As a child of a father that broke his marriage vows many times throughout my parent’s marriage, I was left as a fatherless daughter at the age of ten. I didn’t understand how my Daddy could leave us and have his new family. It can break a child’s heart. My sibling and I were used as pawns to hurt my Mother. Even as a young girl, I couldn’t understand how a parent could walk away from their children, especially when they needed their father so much during those years. I was left with an emotional hole in my heart, which I would later try to fill with food. Food became my comfort.

    Looking back now, as an adult, I know I wasn’t ever really alone. While I didn’t have my “physical” father, my heavenly father was always there. My father didn’t allow for religion in our house. It may sound insane, because even as I write this I still cannot believe we lived through those trying times. Because he didn’t believe, my Mom couldn’t take us to church, which was difficult for her, as she came from a religious upbringing. After the dust settled from the divorce, my mother had us children baptized and I cannot imagine my life now without God and his infinite love for everyone, especially the broken. God’s love saved me, and continues to every day.

    I still have to give myself a reality check of how I am truly loved when something goes wrong, or I feel emotionally empty in a dark moment, or a medical test comes back and I worry that it could be cancer…again. But with the love of God, and with his Grace, I feel whole as I am. The cracks in my foundation have shaped me to be the woman I have grown to be, a strong, God loving, devoted woman. I don’t see these cracks in the foundation of who I am as “imperfections” of my upbringing, but rather part of the beauty that makes me God’s child. And for that, I know I am not broken but beautiful.

  76. We live in a broken world.
    My family story is too much.
    But praise God when I quit running he met me there.
    I will never stop searching for Jesus and seeking him.
    Loving all, following only Him.
    I would like a copy of this book.
    To also share with my mom and daughter and son.
    All of us broken in different ways.

  77. Because I was adopted at a young age, and lived in a dysfunctional home I suffered from abandonment & rejection issues for years. When I married my high school sweetheart, we had already been teen parents for a year. We lived in an “unevenly yoked” marriage for 13 years. Through those years we occurred many painful situations such as two miscarriage, a herniated disc that required back surgery, tragic deaths of family members, and abuse from an ex family member to name a few. My husband was an alcoholic and I laid unrealistic expectation on him that he was not meant to carry due to unresolved issues from my past. Our marriage was slowly unraveling, as there was more fighting and chaos in the home than peace. But, after many years of praying for my husbands salvation he came to know the LORD! Not only did God give both of us grace but also restored our marriage!! Shortly after this God called us to go into camp ministry. Our passion is to help marriages and families!! We have been serving AT a CAMP for two years as He has been preparing to use us in a way we are unsure of yet! WE are trusting in HIM.. The closer God gets to revealing his truth to us.. We realize that we are BROKEN!! We sometimes ask ourselves; through all the current pain, trials and tribulations we experience, how we are to be used to bring God’s name glory and to further HIS KINGDOM?? TO which the LORD replies to us ever so gently…. IT is because my beautiful, broken servants ARE WILLING!!!

  78. You’re not alone because my dear friends are going through some difficult times with a son that struggles with addiction and criminal issues. Right now, I feel like they are isolated (whether on purpose or not) since there has been no contact with them since things were exposed. I would love to give them this book to allow God’s love to heal and provide them with the strength to know that they too are not alone.

    Thanks for your consideration and sharing God’s power of reformation through your life. To God be the Glory!

  79. Yes, I am broken. I’ve always been been so. But it’s the broken places where the light shines out to illuminate for others… To be broken is to be blessed. Yes, it hurts, but it can help, too.

  80. Child of divorce, divorced myself, exposed to a sexually addicted parent as a child, other parent very passive…how to face the workd as an adult when your models were so poor is a challenge.

  81. I lived my life in abominable sin always knowing God Loved me and thought I was born that way…. well indeed I was but until I lost everyone I loved and became addicted to IV meth did I realize he has always loved me but wanted me to make the Choice to Live for Him and Him alone… I cried out for him to take it all from me and direct my Life to serve his Glory…To God Be the Glory…My Life is Loving and Serving My Lord and Savior and I feel a Love and Peace I have never felt before

  82. I have 3 children going in 3 different direction physically and spiritually. I often feel as though I am judging them as others are judging my parenting skills. “How did this happen? Why can’t they see the truth of their choices? What did I do wrong? Was I not strong enough? Was I not faithful enough? Was I wrong? Should I have pushed them more? Should I have pushed them less? Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart.

  83. Heart-wrenchingly true. My family has encountered nearly every one of these as well. I will certainly be buying your book for my sister, who continues to fight a very hard battle with addiction and shame. And three lovely children who have been taken away. Thank you for this. I believe it with every fiber of my being and join you in my efforts to encourage those who are broken – we are ALL broken. And only through our brokenness is He able to rebuild us whole. Blessings to you!

  84. We are all in this together. You, me and everyone born into this world. Let’s link our arms and unite!

  85. My desire is to share how I got broken and I how I was the cause of others to be broken too; and how God is in the process of re-forming the pieces of me and my life into one of his masterpieces. I made selfish choices that I justified, even when I saw the pain I caused others. To my husband that became my ex, how I devastated my children with my announcement of divorce, when I married the man I was having an affair with and had another baby with him. I hurt my new husband’s wife and family, their children. I became the mother to 5, the wife of (another) one, all wounded and broken, by me. I lost my church family, my ministry. I didn’t do it alone, but I did it. I found myself alone, yet surrounded by hurting people; and I was completely unable to bear up under the crushing guilt and consequences of my choices, utterly unable. I felt separated from God and didn’t know how to get back to something worth living, or to Him. That’s when I started drinking, heavily. The down-hill spiral was classic and required more drinking to numb me to the pain and despair. I eventually went to rehab, twice. Compounding hurt and pain. I suffered, everyone suffered.

    It’s true that God never gives up on His children. It’s important to know that God won’t let you go even when your mind says he has. No matter how long it seems like it’s taking, He’s working, He’s loving you, in love with you and He’s making right all that’s wrong, piece by broken piece. My name remained on His lips..and His name remained on mine. It’s taken 12 years to get from there to here. Here, on the outside might not look like much to some. But on the inside is indescribable paradise; a place of peace, purity and beauty…and revelation and JOY. Where ever He is, is beautiful. The light has dispelled the darkness. When I was hurting so badly, I couldn’t find someone like me, a Christian with a story of utter shame and failure that resulted in seeming un-fixable circumstances like mine…and then came back better than before, much better.

    You’re not alone in your brokenness. No one, no matter how shameful the deep truth of her life, isn’t alone either. I did it to myself and fully deserved destruction yet desperately longed to know that not only was I not beyond God’s reach but that there was no way He would leave me destroyed. He brought healing, restoration and beauty to a life I didn’t want anymore.

    I’ve learned that God is not shocked or surprised by anything I can do or have done, and to never believe any dire thing is a big deal in God’s capable hands. He’s made me into someone worth knowing, loving and listening to. Beauty for ashes, that’s me.

  86. I’ve been struggling with broken – for two long. My son, whom I love dearly, committed a crime and will be in prison for 20 years. (because he was a law officer he was given a very strict, probably unfair sentence). and I broke – – and I’m healing, but it is taken much longer than I thought it would. I have been placed now in a spot where I help other moms of incarcerated children, and sometimes it is so hard, This week I have spent countless hours working with a mom whose drug induced son committed a murder. at 23 he may get the death penalty. So, I work with helping other moms that are broken. it really hurts. Brokenness comes quickly.. healing, repairing, rebuilding takes so long. other things happen to bring more brokenness – my grandson molested – a lengthy trial; a mom who is now in hospice care; financial difficulties; a church where my husband ministers is merging with another church. exhaustion has been a companion.

  87. Broken- yes!
    I have no earthly father, well i do somewhere in this world but he has not been in my life for quite some time. I used to think that if he were dead it would be easier.

    My hope is in Christ and He is my heavenly Father as well as my earthly Father!!!

    I even like to encourage myself by saying I HAVE a Father that cannot compare.

    Thank you for sharing your brokenness

  88. It used to bother me when my pastor would preach, “we live in the land of broken toys” . We are broken and I didn’t want to be broken, I want to be whole. This life is a journey and God does heal our brokenness, just not all at once.

  89. Our family is broken and it tears me up inside when I forget to lean on the Lord. A few years ago my daughter told me that she doesn’t believe in God anymore. Then she married a much older man who also doesn’t believe in God. Now they have two beautiful children who are truly miracles from my Heavenly Father. If I focus on my blessings, it helps me not to dwell on the brokenness.

  90. I’m in a season of restoration in my life from seasons of brokenness. I cannot be too specific, but just want to thank you for this post and for the book. It’s refreshing to see honesty.

  91. thank you for telling stories of the broken for the broken.You wrote,speaking of God’s great love,that He loved enough to break the body of His oum Son so that broken you and me would know just how very much God loves us. I have suffered bing broken. But God has brought me a long way from I once was. My son also was broken but does not yet see the love God has for him. please pray for him(James). Thank you

  92. I’ve just recently been through two broken relationships with women I’ve been friends with over half my life. I’ve actually mourned those friendships that have broke my heart. Broken – yes, just like you have been, but God is mending my broken places and putting me back together again. I don’t know whAt I would’ve done without Him.

  93. Thank you Elisa. Brokenness is all around me except for my husband who is a gem. We have had a godly marriage for which we are ever grateful. However our children and our extended families are not believers and have had and continue to have so much strife in their lives. Many of their problems result from poor choices. However we get hurt by their decisions as well. The list is probably as long as any here. But I stuff it down, and pretend that that all is well. I believe that no friend, but Jesus, wants to hear the sadness of my story. I will definitely read your book.

  94. No one is alone in this. As I talk to people I realize that everyone has problems with broken in some form or fashion.

    There are a number of people in my little church that are living broken right now. They could use the book to help understand. They need to realize there is beauty in the broken. This world has become so corrupt and evil and it pains me to see how people are destroying themselves and their lives for cheap thrills.

    Thanks for offering this book! Blessings 🙂

  95. Oh so many thanks to all who have shared your precious broken and messy stories. You are not alone! How we need each other! May God continue to show you how he is shaping beauty in your broken. He loves you so.

  96. Oh, how I’d love to share the message of this book! I;ve been so surprised the hear the heartbreak of others as I let them have a peek at mine. To share the keeping power of our Redeemer is such an honor. I don’t deserve His grace, but I’d love to have more ways to share it! I hope I win a copy, but if not, I’ve already shared this post on FB. Why? The devastating disappointment of watching your children choose less than their best is heightened by realizing they may have learned a bit of that attitude from their parents. Ouch…only one life and no do-over crashes in to the reality of our ideal longings. Bless you for this.

  97. I too have felt so broken lately – overwhelmed – defeated – several of the items on your list and then some. It is such a struggle and raising children can be so very hard. Thank you for your post.

  98. Just reading the comments helped me see there is no perfect family..although I seem to see them all around me. I’m trying to juggle a parental divorce which sent my mother into a tailspin of depression and hoarding so much that she moves from each siblings home until we can’t take anymore negativity, mess or gripes about my father, etc..impacting our families. I feel terrible guilt over this, but it affecting my marriage to the point of my husband has asked me for a divorce. I carry a lot of guilt about my first divorce and how it affected my children …and my inability to have been a parent when they needed me the most.

  99. Thank you for writing this! As I am scrolling down these responses I am so heartbroken and also not feeling so alone…….I can relate to the brokenness in my family, both nuclear and extended in SO many areas…….But GOD :)) he is most at work in brokenness isn’t He?
    Don’t know how or when He can piece together all the broken pieces, but KNOW that He can……..

  100. This is exactly my current battle right now…fearing that the brokenness and sin of my mother will eventually follow me and generational sin and curses will be my reality one day. My mom had an affair with a woman when I was 17 years old, and abandoned our family. Soon after I had reaccuring nightmares that my mother sexually abused me as a child. I have been a follower and lover of Jesus ever since I was a little girl, and now all of a sudden i have been overcome and tormented with fear and anxiety that I will be just like my mother. I know I am a daughter of the living God, and have been praying for God to break and destroy all generational curses and the fear attached to them, but still I fight fear and anxiety almost daily. I am praying without ceasing for my deliverance, for my redemption, and for my freedom! It is so hard to come from such brokenness. I pray that myself, and all you will not have to live out of our brokenness and our wounds any longer. I know God has a “new name” for me, and I want to live out of that new name. “Redeemed” “Set free. “Whole.”

  101. You are not alone. In my 14 years of marriage we have walked through a bi-polar diagnosis (my oldest son), a teen pregnancy (my stepdaughter named my son as the father of her baby), sibling abuse (between my two step children), sexual abuse (my step daughter was abused by her mother’s husband), drug addiction (my son and stepdaughter), a runaway (my son), incarceration (my son), two grandchildren born out of wedlock….you, in deed are not alone. Praying daily for redemption for my family.

  102. Oh the family secrets. I watch Nashville and could agree with last week’s episode when the main character said “I Just don’t want anymore secrets in this family” Just put it out there and deal with it. It’s hard to deal with something that is a secret!

  103. As it read this list tears welled up in my eyes. So many of those are my labels. I don’t like to talk about them. But the older I get the more I realize they are part of my story but they don’t define me. God’s love and acceptance define me.

  104. You are not alone! And that is one of my favorite phrases. I am a daughter of addiction and divorce. I am a sister of addiction and a sister of unplanned pregnancy. I need to be reminded I am not alone and to tell others that more often.

  105. I know all to well how a person and a family can instantly become a broken mess and feel hopelessly unrepairable. My family and I are victims of the most horrendous crime, Murder. My 12 years old, Granddaughter, Andi was abducted, raped and murdered, soon to be 15 years ago. This was not a place in my Christian walk that I wanted to experience. Grandparents are not suppose to bury their grandchildren. But I found myself on this dark path that was placed before me and the Journey to recovery was not easy, the path was not smooth, the hardest thing I ever did was to forgive the murderer of my granddaughter. I continue to heal and will the rest of my life. The road is long and rough but thanks be to God, he walks beside me.

  106. I exist in a broken marriage. And, the thing we can’t talk about, that I can’t talk about because my husband is ashamed, is the history of bipolar in my family and my brother’s suicide. We are an active duty military family and I have been asked to be silent. I use the written word to speak in my “forced silence”.

  107. I am NOT alone. Each day I pray for God to show me the beauty in my brokenness. I cry, I pray, I lament, I grieve, But when the physical and emotional failure begin to pass, God whispers to my Broken Heart, “My Grace is Sufficient!”