Isaac was sick enough this week to stay home from school but not sick enough to keep him from excitedly reading through every nature book we own. He’s my firstborn son, an animal and science fanatic. I had some computer work to do, so we sat together in a snuggly pile, he with his books, and I with this computer. Every thirty seconds, he would exclaim, “Wow! Mama, look! Look at this snake. Look at this bird. Look at this picture. What do you think about these mountains? Hey Mama, how low do clouds get? Look! Can you believe this isn’t a mammal? Look Mama. Hey look. Have you ever seen this lizard?”
I tried so hard to be present, though I had work to do. I took deep breaths and honestly observed his findings. After about thirty minutes of his constant prodding, I asked him, “Isaac, I love it when you do this, but have you ever noticed how you can’t stand to have a thought without sharing it with me?” We laughed, and I bet him he couldn’t find something interesting without poking me in the side about it.
Not thirty seconds later, “Hey Mama! Doh . . . ” We laughed so hard. He continued to interrupt me, and he literally couldn’t help it. It was a sweet thing I hope I never forget.
I knew it as it came out of my mouth: he is just like me. I remember my Daddy gently requesting that I please just stop talking for a few minutes. I’m pretty sure my constant jabbering nearly drilled a hole in his head. I knew in that moment that I hadn’t grown out of it much, either. Just ask Seth. When we sit to “read together” it’s laughable. “Oh. Wow, Seth, listen to this.”
I knew as I had challenged Isaac that our relationship mirrors some of my most innocent moments with God, those times when I’m walking with Him, when I’m observing the world in light of Him. “Hey look, Jesus, I see you. Do you see this? I know you do.”
I knew, too, that so often I don’t live that way, that innocent child-like way. Too often I grab my megaphone and verbalize my every thought. Too often I look to be heard by the masses.
It was a simple realization. Isaac had his lanky nine-year-old legs wrapped over my lap. He is growing and so precious to me. We glowed there, laughing and talking. Isn’t it simple, God’s love for His children? But it’s not just for His children. I’m a thirty-four year old woman coming to know that He loves me.
The love commanded of us seems to come from our realization of how much God loves us. Not just us as a body of believers, but He loves you as an individual. Some of us strive and strive for God and never believe it. He loves us.
I’m learning to accept it, not just in my mind, but with my emotions, too, and as I do, I seem to be talking to Him more. I believe His words to me about the world, how He gave His one and only son. I feel like a child to write it out this way, but it has taken me a while to believe it with my heart.
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Do you believe that He loves you?
The best question for my heart, by far. Yes, yes I do. And it has been a long road towards healing and surrender to let my heart begin to believe it. Oh, that childlike innocence, faith, and love…so thankful for how He points me to Himself.
Amber Haines says
Me, too, Jennifer.
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
It’s only been 50+ years, but Yes, I do believe that God loves me…He rejoices over me with singing. I believe that our whole life is a growing awareness of God’s great love for us. I’m much further along than I was in my 30’s, but fortunately God isn’t finished with me yet. He continues to unfold new layers of His love for me as my years increase. No matter what our age, may we always embrace the child in us! Thanks for a wonderful post!
Amber Haines says
Thank you, Bev!
The more I believe that he loves someone like me, the more I talk with him and am drawn to turn to him first when I am sad, or hurting then turning to someone else first. I think the reason I have struggled so much with believing his love for me personally, is because I know all my history and the long list of sins and it’s hard for my human mind to fathom that this holy God could love a sinner like me in spite of it all. Pretty mind blowing.
Amber Haines says
He loved us first, even before the foundation of the world. He loved us before we even knew the word “sin.”
“observing the world in light of Him”… I love how you put this because it changes the way we appreciate the gifts that come out way or react/respond to what can wash over us like a tsunami.
Thank you for sharing this.
More than ever before my time has come to realize that my God loves me in a unbelivable, beautiful, perfect way – without any expectations on me He loves me now and forever. Deep.
I realized that He wants to show me that He loves me and I can hide like a child who is hiding behind his mom. I realize that God will face my storms, while I’m holding His hand and wait. I realize that He embraces me gently and gives me the power that I need.
Be blessed for your words.
Amber Haines says
Thank you, Rosie.
Shelly R says
I do believe He loves me. It has been a long hard road for that to sink in deep. So deep I feel it in my bones. Yet even now I forget. In the thick of all the chaos of life. I forget. But He is always there with a gentle reminder whether it be my girls, a song, the whisper of the wind that catches your hair… It washes over me. Oh how he loves me!
Amber Haines says
When I can remember it, my service to HIm is only delight, you know?
Michele-Lyn Ault says
I think God is always trying to call us back to this simple kind of way of walking and talking with Him.
I tend to make things more complicated than they need to be.
This is a beautiful post, Amber, and I love the anecdote with you and your son. Precious. 🙂
Amber Haines says
I agree with you, Michele. I love it when He reminds me.
Yes He Loves Me 🙂 but I agree with others sometimes we forget due to whatever is happening in our lives. At times there’s this groaning within my spirit vibraving my bones, and I know I am alive to his love. And the awesomeness of it all, is it comes from him with no expectation, its freely given and all he ask me to do is freely recieve. (that’s the hard part) I’m in the process of really surrendering my own expections of myself. Blessings my friend and blessings to all walking this journey of child-like simplicity.
Alicia Turner Beard says
Thanks for the reminder of God’s love and to have childlike faith.
For me, too, the hard part had been believing what He says to me and about me in His precious word. I grew up in a loving family but my parents were unable to show affection or speak words of love, although I know they loved me dearly. When I married 15years ago, I realised I did not know how to respond to words of love, endearments and affectionate embraces. My lovely husband has shown me what unconditional love is, but I still found it hard to believe God wanted to whisper words of love to me.
To know in my heart that I (aged 68!) am His little girl and precious to Him has been life- transforming! Oh how He loves!! Thank you Amber for reminding us all!
I am struggling through fear today and it is hard to feel love through that emotion. But in faith, yes, I do believe it. I will trust His love for me and that He will work all things out for His glory in my life. Thanks Amber for such a simple sweet message of affection from above. Your words always go deep and I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in every post you write. Blessings to you! Love, Rachael @ Inking the heart
I have no doubt in my heart that the LORD LOVES me. I’ve never ever doubted this ever in my entire life. I feel God’s LOVE completely and utterly over my life. All my life. Daily. Moment by moment. Every single breathing moment of my life.
Do I know how to love.
Yes, I do. Absolutely.
Sometimes I do things just cos I want to know what others will say about what I say.
Then I get to know how they really really feel about things.
Deliver a negative. Though it’s not true.
The thing is this.
Will I love.
Have I got any doubt in my mind that the LORD, my FAther in heaven thinks about me all the time in HIS undying LOVE for me.
O most certainly. I knew this from aged … under five. I don’t think I’ve never ever not known.
So, I possess the fear of the LORD. When I read in Scripture what HE does to the ungodly, I squirm and my heart … fearful of what HE will be doing to them. So, I obey.
Obey the LORD. Scripture.
Oh, Amber. Yes, yes, yes! Everything, yes.
I just love reading yor blog, Amber. It’s wonderful how you can see our Lord in all of your daily happenings! It’s taken awhile, but I am now just starting to believe that God does love me. I think He’s placed me in a position in my life where I have no choice but to accept His love. Its been a trying and difficult journey. It’s been a good thing, though!
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
Oh, this just melted my heart! Thank you for sharing your beautiful words!
With all my heart I know God loves me just by looking about me, and in soaking up His love and provision revealed in His Word.
Caryn Christensen says
Sometimes, it’s easier to believe He loves us collectively, than it is to believe He loves us individually…He loves ME. I needed this today Amber ~ this loving reminder that He sees me, He knows me and He loves me, just as I am. Thank you!
Angie Ryg says
Oh this sweet reminder to not only be present in each moment but that our Father is just waiting for us to show Him the many delights of this world. And the fact that I delight Him? Sigh…I needed that reminder today!
I just love what you have written! My son is 14 now but I can picture him at the same age doing the very same thing. What a beautiful reminder. And then to imagine God listening to me in that same way makes my heart want to burst. He loves me so much. This makes me want to take a walk among nature and his beautiful creation and point everything out to him “look God! Look!!” Thank you for a new perspective :)))
Kristen L. Gray says
I’m at the beginning stages of this belief. Like a child, I’m learning to stand on my wobbling legs of having faith in His love and accepting that I don’t have to “work” for what is already mine. Lately, I’m becoming more familiar of the sound of my Daddy’s voice of grace. Just like a child.
Please keep me in your prayers.
Elise Daly Parker says
Childlike faith…with all our striving that is ultimately what God wants from us. Just to climb up on His lap so we can enjoy one another. Tears!
Diana Trautwein says
I’m getting there. Easier when I don’t have flu. But never completely easy, to be truthful. Takes an intentional mindset to say, ‘yes, I receive.’
Really good, Amber! You had me with ‘grab my megaphone and verbalize my every thought.’
Ginny Kubitz Moyer says
This is such a good question to ask ourselves. Not long ago, I was reading a prayer book that suggested that you imagine Jesus looking right at you “lovingly and humbly.” Those were the adverbs — “lovingly and humbly.” I tried it, and all I could do was cry (in a good way). It made me feel very, very loved.
lovely as always…and a beautiful reminder to see God in our children’s eyes, especially when we are disgruntled or trying to be in our own moment.
Lisa Petrarca says
It took me many years to allow God to truly show me who I am in and through HIM. I still sometimes allow those negative self-defeating thoughts to creep in. But I know where and Who to turn. I can get filled up just as quickly with The Lord’s truth, love and light as He difuses the lies of the enemy. I pray that I will never stop seeing His wonders in my day…an open heart, open eyes, open ears and a mouth that proclaims His faithfulness and glory!
Susan Shipe says
Happy for you that in your early 30’s you are coming to the realization of how much God loves you! It has taken me years and at 63 I still have moments of wondering – I’m sure it’s a personal acceptance issue and I am so grateful to have a willing and patient heavenly Father who just shakes His head and lets me know how silly I am when I have those insecure thoughts! Great post.
Marisa Slusarcyk says
Funny, I was just being interrupted by my 9 year old while trying to get some computer things done and then it dawned on me that what he has to say to me now may seem like an interruption but in reality my taking the time to truly LISTEN to the small things now is going to lead to him being willing to share the big things later because he will know I am open to take the time to listen and hear. <3
jenni ho-huan says
Yes! In the four decades, it’s been tasting it differently and seeing different shades too… most recently, i have learnt to be still and take time to be away and alone with God. It has been a whole new experience of being loved. I feel his attention, he eye on me, his gentle reassuring presence. i feel respected, affirmed, celebrated. it’s amazing!
For so long I could find nothing about me to love. It is only recently that I am beginning to understand that God’s love for me has nothing to do with who I am, only the fact that I am His. He delights in me because He chooses to. Even when I mess up, even when I fail, even when I forget, He continues to delight in me, continues to love. There is such a peace that comes to my heart from finally, finally beginning to just get a glimmer of understanding of His love. I am not much of a dancing girl, but lately, I feel like twirling.
Beth Williams says
I do wholeheartedly believe that God loves me!!! Sometimes and some days I question why, but I do believe. Lately I’ve truly seen His love for me and have felt it more and more than I did in my younger days. I pray I can become more like a child and take things on faith and just believe!!
I am new to this.
I have offered my broken pieces and like a wounded child have
to realize the ways God shows his love for me.
Your post, the women who are posting…
This is one way God shows his love for me.
Thank you for working in him.