This winter I am challenging myself to be positive. And I don’t mean positive in a superficial kind of way. I mean being intentional about what I verbalize about myself, my husband, and my children. It’s one thing to have a negative or discouraging thought; it’s another to speak it aloud and allow it to take root.
There are so many things that can plague our minds as moms. Our job can come with a lot of responsibility and little accolades. And to make matters worse, we can be hard on ourselves all the while. “Why am I having trouble losing weight…praying more…scheduling it all…” Sound familiar?
As much as we need to be mindful of the beautiful creations that we are, we also need to think about the creations who are forming under our watch. What we say about our children in their presence and behind closed doors helps to foster an attitude that will influence their development. In effect, what we say about them, they will believe about themselves.
I want my children to have a healthy self-esteem. They will need it to make unpopular, faithful decisions in spite of what their peers are doing someday. But I’ve learned that there is a difference between self-esteem and self-worth. Self-esteem may ebb and flow based on circumstances, but self-worth is constant.
Self-worth is grounded in God’s love. The Holy Spirit whispers that love to our hearts. Christ demonstrated that love on the cross. And our Creator reminds us of that love by crafting us specially and knowing us intimately. Self-worth is therefore independent of what others think, whether or not we’ve messed up, or how we’re feeling about ourselves that day. That’s the kind of blessing that I want to verbalize.
I saw a boy at a school playground this fall with a T-shirt on that read, “I am just here to annoy you.” It was covered with angry cartoon faces. Both of his shoelaces were untied. He was beginning the new school year disheveled and with a curse on his shirt. My heart broke to see it. He deserved a blessing.
The decisions that we make as moms aren’t just about the T-shirts we dress our children in; they’re about how we clothe their hearts and dress their souls. Do our children know that they are loved beyond a shadow of a doubt? Do they come home to hear words of blessing and faith spoken over their lives? And do we extend ourselves the same courtesy as moms?
Proverbs 18:21 says, “Life and death are in the power of our tongue…” I invite you to speak the words over your children that your Savior is longing to shower over you. Join me in an effort to plant positive seeds that Christ would be proud of. And while everything else lies fallow this winter, imagine what God will grow in our families!
Do you have a story about how someone spoke a blessing over you and it made a difference in your life? If so, I would love to hear it!
Renee says
Wow..I really needed to hear this today, especially after speaking “death” over a situation today. God has whispered loudly that I have a choice– life or death in my powerful words. God bless your day. You certainly have blessed mine.
Noelle Kirchner says
Renee, Thank you for commenting and your honesty – I have spoken death over a situation before too. Let’s encourage each other in prayer. I believe God can turn any situation around!
Cindy says
I have a girlfriend that called her friends “Sunshine” as in “You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine” song. It makes me plant a smile on my face and feel better about myself all day.
Noelle Kirchner says
Cindy, I had a friend who did that too! Isn’t the power of our words incredible? I am amazed how much we can brighten someone’s day whom we don’t even know with a kind one – it’s amazing to think about their far greater power with those we love.
karyn says
Wow. What good advice and I have to admit that I’m guilty of dishing out bad words in my life in the past. I shall be very careful of my words from now on. And how I dress my grandchildren and what they are allowed to see and read and watch and listen to. This is so right.
🙂
Noelle Kirchner says
I believe God will multiply our attempts to be faithful. Wishing you blessings in your good work, Karyn!
Lisa says
Our words, positive or negative make a big impact. I hope my words and actions impact for good and honor God.
Noelle Kirchner says
Amen! And ditto, Lisa.
Fabiola J says
Our actions also communicate a lot to our children. Am I geing generous? Forgiving? Loving?
Some things are big, let’s go volunteer at a shelter or plan a building mission trip and they can have a huge impact. However in the small things lays their inner character. Am I a place for them to find comfort or criticism?
Noelle Kirchner says
Thank you for your thought provoking response, Fabiola! I agree, and developing the inner character of our families is what I’m after here. That’s why I love the focus on self-worth. On a side note, I went to your blog and see that you’re with Amor Ministries. I have crossed paths with Jordan Congdon through church! Blessings to you and your work.
Fabiola J says
Thank you, I just saw your response. Thank you, yes Amor has been an incredible journey. The world it’s so small, Jordan is now working for Amor as well.
This social media world makes it even smaller. Maybe one day you’ll join us as well in one of the trips and I’ll get to meet you.
Anna Deepford says
Thank you Noelle. A timely reminder to me and affirming too, so thank you.
I tell my children “you are my delight and my joy and you cause me to sing, as God sings over you”. This is because when I was doing DTS at YWAM, my mentor, a wonderful American lady who told it like it was, blessed me with these words and caused me to see just how much I am loved by Majesty and by her too. it is a truth i want my children to know and for it to resonate in their hearts. The other blessing I want my children to receive is that they would hear the Voice of The Good Shepherd every day of their lives. Because, when I fail, and snap or tear off a little more of a strip than is merited, Or when the World speaks lies and death to them, I want them to know who they really are, who they are created to be as a son and daughter of the Living God. His voice needs to be the one they hear inside their heads.
And during the day time, before school or at bedtime, I tell them that I am so blessed that God chose me to be their mummy and it makes me feel hugely privileged that He did, even though He knew I would be imperfect. And that is okay, because He is my Co-Parent – Hurrah!
I am so grateful to have found this and the ibelieve communities. Thank you for blogging; it is a huge blessing to me and my children with your insights, encouragement and teachings.
Blessings,
Anna, UK
Noelle Kirchner says
Anna, You bless me richly with your words. They are so meaningful to me. It appears I have a kindred soul across the ocean – isn’t it amazing how God can connect lives? I love your focus not only on positive affirmations, but a true grounding for your children in our scriptural identities. Oh that I would always remember my own! If we are able to engrain that identity into our children, their blessings will be multifold I am sure. Wishing you Christ’s love and light to your journey.
Shelli Littleton says
I once heard a minister’s wife say that we needed “Christ-esteem” … that has always stuck with me. I love that. I wrote a poem a few weeks ago on self-esteem … if you don’t mind, I’ll share it:
Over-rated is self-esteem
So unpredictable it seems
It will lie to you whenever it deems
Self is here
Self is there
Self is everywhere
Self can’t be trusted
Was given a chance, but got busted
For after others it lusted
Christ-esteem is a worthy endeavor
He doesn’t change, the same forever
Will He lie to you? No not ever
Self-rejection
Is a lethal infection
That needs a Christ injection
Noelle Kirchner says
Shelli, Your poem is catchy! Thanks for sharing, and thank you Christ for giving us something firm to depend on. I remember the hymn lines that say “On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.” It came to mind as I was reading your words.
Ashley says
Amazing post that I desperately needed. Bless you!
Noelle Kirchner says
Thank you, Ashley! Blessings to you as well.
Julie Sunne says
You speak of power, Noelle! Beautifully written.
Noelle Kirchner says
Thank you, Julie! I pray that God’s power transforms us all for his glory!
Ruth says
Thank you for your insight and encouragement. I am old enough to be your Mom and I have been blessed by you this morning!
May our Lorx continue to bless you to be a blessing to others!
Noelle Kirchner says
You bless me with your feedback, Ruth! Thank you for taking the time to bring a smile to my face today. Blessings in Christ, Noelle