“Thank you.” The words passed from his lips with concerted effort in barely more than a whisper. My sweet dad, fighting a several year battle with Parkinson’s disease, didn’t let the atrophying of his vocal cords prevent him from offering his thanks on a regular basis.
My dad’s diagnosis came shortly after his retirement from thirty-eight years of teaching secondary math. The disease first presented itself clearly to us in his walk, which became more of a shuffle. Initially the medications and exercise routines helped tremendously, but in 2009 he began a sudden and irreversible decline.
Dear friends, I cannot begin to tell you all of the horrendous things this disease did to my poor dad’s body. When he passed away in December of 2011, he could only turn his head and raise his arms.
In the midst of his deterioration, my grandmother passed away from a brain aneurysm, my cousin’s husband developed terminal liver cancer in his 40s, and my own husband discovered his blood carries leukemia. Life became a bit overwhelming for our family to say the least, especially since I was a stay-at-home mom of two young children.
During this season I gained courage from my discovery of Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts. I clung to Laura Story’s song, Blessings. I trained my brain to dig for the joy surrounded by the broken. I strove to give thanks amidst the bleakness around me. My dad’s example shown like a beacon pointing to the proper attitude to maintain.
My dad never complained. He did everything the doctors told him to do. He fought through all of the physical therapy like a champion. And, regardless of the level of treatment he received by some of the nursing staff at various facilities, he would take a deep breath, tighten his abdominal muscles, and do his best to utter thank you so they could hear him.
I would read to him or massage his feet, assist him to the bathroom, help change the bottle with his “food” when he got a feeding tube, adjust his covers, and put moisturizer on his lips, and for all of this I heard, “Thank you.”
A friend commented he hoped his daughters never have to be in the position to do any of that for him. I hope that, too, but I can say that helping my dad with his most basic of needs is the single greatest privilege I have ever experienced.
If we do not offer praise for the beautiful, how then will we offer praise for the ugly?
Take this season to develop the habit of praise. Start a journal. Use the One Thousand Gifts app for your phone. Keep an ongoing family list of praises on a wall or in a book at the dinner table. Recount three “grateful things” at the end of the day with your children during prayer time. Flex your gratitude muscles so you may continue to do so during the desert times, because they will come. Simply choose one way to offer recognition to the Creator of all things good.
I witnessed the power of gratitude in the face of the formidable firsthand, and I will forever be changed. Will you join me?
“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever.”
Psalm 136:1-3
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Thank you, Amy, for those amazing words of thanksgiving. Your Dad was an amazing man of God. We were better students and athletes because of his guidance. We became better adults because of his example of perseverance. Thank You!
Sweet words like this ease the sadness! Thanks for reading.
One of the single greatest joys of my job was working with your dad. He taught me to use words sparingly but with impact. You are his legacy, friend. Knowing Tom will always be on my thankful list!
I can only hope to have a tenth of his character. Missing him today, but so glad others can hear about what a special person he was.
Amy I’m here to tell you that you have 100% of his character by the words I just read. Thank you beyond words for sharing such a powerful message. I am a cancer/coma survivor and while thankfulness is a part of my life, you reminded me not only to cherish my days but to cherish ever word I am able to speak. You are a beautiful blessings to others. THANK YOU my friend.
Thanks for this. My mom has had PD for 20 yrs and its a constant fight for me to give thanks even through the disease: thank you that’s she’s still here, thank you that she has met my children, thank you for a childhood full of happy illness free memories. God is ever present in the good and bad. Precious post.
My sons are often shocked when I tell stories about my dad from when I was young, because they never knew him as anything other than sick. BUT, I am even more convinced of the power of presence. My boys benefited from their short time with him even if he couldn’t do the things with them that he would have liked to. All my best to you and your mother. It is a hard road that must be paved with much prayer.
Thank you for sharing. You’re words are just what I needed to hear today!
So glad to know that!
thank you for sharing…I am so sorry for your loss….I am very thankful that both my parents are alive and kicking and will be around for another blessed holiday.
Treasure every moment! Thanks for reading.
Thank you so much for your story. My mother passed away 12-1-12 due to Parkinsons Disease and my dad has since lived with us. He battles depression and sadness, especially with the one-year anniversary of mom’s death looming ahead of us. I am praying that we can become more thankful in our hearts and hope to encourage my family to do so at the dinner table. I know God can change everything. Thank you again.
Blessings to you and your dad. My mom is struggling a bit right now, too, with the upcoming anniversary of his passing. I am deeply convinced of the power of gratitude to heal. I would be lost without it.
Loving words spoken by a loving daughter! Your dad’s thankful heart lives on in you, my dear friend. You have truly exemplified living thankfully through your own dark days…
I pray I can continue to follow in his footsteps. Some days it is a very conscious decision. Grateful for you!
What a beautiful, love-filled post, Amy! Thanks for timely reminder as we get ready for Thanksgiving.
Thanks, Holley. Your words regularly encourage me. Simple truths, yet profound. So glad you stopped by to read and comment on my blog!
YES yes yes… so good, so true. Our minds return to the same pathways.. if we train it to run in the way of thanks, then when the hardships come, as they will, our minds may more likely turn to thanks. The power of habit combined with the uncanny calling of God to give thanks in all things.. so powerful. Thank you for these words!
I’ve actually been doing research on that very thing. I refer to them as goat trails in the brain, and we need to get our thoughts going down the right path. Thanks for reading.
Thank you for sharing from your heart something that must lay heavy everyday. So thankful for the 18 years that our family had to know and love him. You are so much like your dad and that is a very big compliment! Love you dear friend!
And we are thankful for you and your family. As you know, life is never the same, but grateful for good memories and a positive example to follow. Love you, too!
My heart just leapt at the beauty of your words—gratitude saves us, and the example of your father totally refreshes my resolve to give thanks. To be thanks.
I couldn’t ask for a more dear comment. Words are such a gift when you can motivate and encourage others. Your family has experienced much difficulty, too, and you are a wonderful example of persevering through painful ordeals.
Amy, I’m always so excited to hear you’ll be speaking at RoofCrashers and I love reading your blog! I’m so happy that you’ve been able to share such a wonderful message to so many people today. You’re blessing everyone today, Mama! My Grandmother and all 7 of her siblings died of Parkinson’s Disease, so I’m about 100% certain that I’ll one day find myself in those shoes. I hope that I can raise my kids to be the loving and generous child that you are.
Your enthusiasm and encouragement are precious to me. I am stunned by the news of your grandmother and her family. I know the small waves of fear I have at times knowing Parkinson’s can be inherited. The thought of experiencing what my dad went through is terrifying, yet I know it can be handled with grace due to his example. I can only hope to be a fraction of the person he was. Let’s agree to spur one another on should we both end up in their shoes!
Your words are so precious! Thank you for the reminder that thankfulness is often all we have. Choose to be blessed and content in the moments we have and God will, in turn, bless us richly. I’m thankful that Mom’s diagnosis was 10 years ago and she’s still going strong! I hope I can be just a piece of the daughter you are! Love you always!
Oh, Donna, I have no doubt you are and will be precious to your mother. I pray the disease manifests itself differently for her than it did my dad. Each case is different. I know you will be a wonderful advocate for her.
Ann’s book has become a life changer for me. I have shared her message with many. Sorry for your trials that you went through, though.
Lisa, I haven’t read the book yet but I’m going to put it on my Christmas list! I’m going to check out the App now!
Just beautiful…
Thank you for reading. It is a message tender to my heart.
Amy, thank you so much for that beautiful blog. Your words are so true! Our family faces mental illness, one baby in heaven, one with a severe heart defect. Struggling to be joyful as we raise our boys is a challenge, but eucharisteo is the answer! God bless you!
The longer I live the more I realize we all have our struggles…some seem to have an extra dose. My heart goes out to you as you muddle through the difficulties. Choose joy, no matter how hard it may be.
Praise God for opportunities to love one another through our gift of service to those in need. Praise God for those who are strong enough to remember to be thankful, even in the hard times! It has been in times like caring for another that life made most sense!!!
We indeed learn and grow so much when we are forced to care for the needs of others.
I’ve had trouble being thankful enough during the past 4plus years. My husband of nearly 53 years is fighting the Alzhiemrrrs battle and as with everyone,slowly loosing. Your words of wisdom are very fitting at this time for me. I’m especially thankful for the memories!
What I learned was that I could not be grateful FOR my dad’s disease, but I could be grateful in spite of it. This idea kept me going through the weary, mind-numbing times. My heart aches for you, but God will be faithful to sustain you.
Rachel,
Prayers for you as you deal with Alzheimer’s. I can imagine your pain and frustration somewhat. My mom had dementia and sundowner’s for 2 years and dad took care of her. Watching a loved one go that way is very very hard!
May God bless you with the strength and courage to carry on!! 🙂
This is a beautiful, powerful story of love under duress. Thank you so much for sharing it in this space. And thank you for loving your dad so very well.
Thank you for your words of encouragement!
Bless you for sharing. My Dad has Parkinson’s as well. He says each time he goes to the doctor, he says that if his tests are good…he will praise the Lord. And if they’re not, he will praise Him anyway .
It’s a privilege to walk and live at his pace, whatever that is, because when I was younger he certainly did that for me.
Your post was encouraging today.
I remember thinking the exact same thing as his pace slowed! Caring for someone with a positive attitude is a blessing in itself. My dad made it easy to love and care for him. All my best to you and your dad.
Ann,
I too have experienced this wonderful privilege this year with my husband. I am so very thankful to God for the blessings we receive out of the darkest of times. Praying God’s healing on your husband! And continued treasures for you as You serve our wonderful Lord.
Thank you, Sabra! Always a pleasure to meet someone who understands the difficulties of this life.
I love Laura Blessings as well and did a lot of the Thousand Gifts.
🙂
Thank you Laura and Ann.
🙂
So grateful for the power of their words and the ministry they have through music and the written word. Thanks for reading!
Amy, Parkinson’s runs on my dad’s side of the family. I can so relate. God bless you for your sweet article and your loving-kindness to your dad.
Amy,
Thank you for being a witness to your family and us as well. There is nothing better than helping out an ailing family member.
My mom had dementia. She went into the hospital in 2007 with abdominal pain. 1.5 months later after hospital, rehab, emergency room/ICU and then rehab she was released to go home. Trouble was the dementia manifested itself into full blown sundowner’s.
For the next 2 years my father (82) took care of her 24/7 365. Since I am the only one close to them I saw them weekly and assisted with as much as I possibly could. It was hard to watch her progression. God quietly and patiently answered my prayers and took her home in 2009.
It was during that time my dad became a better Christian. He even got re-baptized. I praise God for that and for loving people who prayed with me and still care for my dad.
Blessings to you!
There is simply nothing easy with the process of caring for family members under these circumstances. I’m glad the ordeal was not longer for your mother. So encouraging to know that good things can come from tragedy. Blessings to you and your dad!
My dad has Parkinson’s too. He was diagnosed when I was pregnant with my oldest, who’s now 6, but it was evident in our wedding photos from a year and a half earlier, we just didn’t know it then. Like another commenter said, it’s so hard to think that my children will never know him as the man I did, and he’s so “old” compared to their other grandpa who can run and play with them.
But I am thankful that at least they do get to know him. Especially as the last of their great grandparents died this summer and the girls (at a year and a half) will never even remember them.
Their time with him can be precious, too. Encourage him to read to them, play card/board games if he is able, and tell them personal stories. These things can build an even greater connection than running and playing. My youngest, especially, loved to just sit and snuggle with him while they watched TV.
Thank you for a lovely message and reminder of being grateful in difficult times. What an important lesson your father must have been so strong to muster those words and what a great example he set. God bless you x
Thank you for stopping by, Jasmine! I appreciate the encouragement.
Oh, how familiar this sounds to my story. Only I am the wife trying to be a help meet for my husband of 38 years who is still in the manageable stage of Parkinson’s. I too have become a fan of Ann Voskamp, and am amazed at Laura Story’s story. Through all of this God has directed me to start a small group for caregiver’s in our church. I never realized what they go through, and the struggle to be an encourager 24-7-365. May you be blessed! Thanks so much for sharing!
Betty, what a wonderful idea to have a small group for caregivers! I don’t know what my mom would have done without all of the sweet friends she had to help support her during the time caring for my dad. Being a caregiver can be such a lonely time. May your group receive many blessings from one another. My best to both you and your husband. As things progress, don’t be afraid to reach out for help from those around you!