I don’t remember the first time I felt it.
It could have been in the third grade when I was the last one picked for the kickball team or when I met my first mean girl at 12. Or it might have been when I opened my mouth to sing like my musical brother and sister and discovered I was tone deaf.
Not being enough has sort of been a faithful companion in life….always there, reminding me of ways I didn’t fit in or belong. When I didn’t date much in high school or couldn’t get pregnant for the first five years of my marriage, I believed the ever-present words whispered in my ear.
When I walked into a room full of stylish, pretty women, and searched for a familiar face, I knew the words that would pop into my head.
I don’t remember the first time I didn’t measure up.
But I do remember the first time I stopped measuring.
I was a freshman in college, rooming with my twin sister. I called my mom on the phone and when she answered, I said hurriedly , “Mom, did you know I’m petite?”
She laughed at my crazy question and said, “Of course, honey. You’re 5’2. That’s petite by most standards. Why are you asking?”
I replied, “But Mom, I’m the big twin. I had no idea I was petite!”
Years later we still laugh about my epiphany.
But this new realization was remarkable to me. I had spent my entire childhood being compared to my twin sister, who was my opposite in so many ways (not just because she could sing well). We were born five minutes apart and I towered over her 4’10” frame. I was shocked when someone referred to me as petite.
But that’s because I was measuring myself by the wrong perspective.
And that’s what comparison does: it skews our view of ourselves and we begin to believe the lie–
The one that says we aren’t
And honestly, maybe we aren’t by the world’s measurements. We truly can never be all those things and certainly not at the same time. But that’s okay.
“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God.” 2 Corinthians 3:5
We don’t have to be enough. Because He is. All the time. And even better, through Him–we are enough, just like we are. He makes up for what we lack. He takes our inadequacies and unrighteousness and trades it in for His perfection.
When we can’t, He can. When we don’t, He does. When we don’t measure up, He does.
And this is enough for all of us.
Written by Kristen Welch, We are THAT family
A very beautiful reminder!
Amy L. Sullivan says
Isn’t it funny (not in a ha, ha way) how much every one of us struggles with this? It doesn’t matter who we are, we are prone to the “not enough” way of thinking.
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
The enemy would like nothing more than for us to play the “comparison game” because it always leaves us feeling like we are lacking in some way. Then, when we feel like we are not “enough”, the enemy wins. Thank you for such a great reminder that through Christ we are MORE than enough!! We need to be continually reminded of God’s perspective…
stephanie wright says
I thank you for the word.. It was a on time word from me. God will spend you a messager just from him to keep you encouraged. yes I’m at that place of “Enough”
but reading your message, I can handle that “Enough”.
Lulu James says
I am 64 and struggle EVERY day with being ‘Enough” From the outside looking in—we are always more than enough—It is a Lie that Satan whispers in our ear–that convinces us otherwise. One of the things I remind myself of daily—I am Created in HIS image—-I must be MORE THAN JUST ENOUGH!
Kimberly Amici says
It’s amazing that this idea, that we are not enough, is so common. Thank you for reminding us we don’t have to linger with it because of 2 Corinthians 3:5.
Amen and amen . My prayer is that all females realize that they ARE enough. God’s voice is louder than the enemy.
Thnk you for your post today
What a relief it is to not b perfect. Growing in the south i was told i must b twice as good as everyone bc of my color, that ppl would look down on me if i wasnt a phd or the president. Im serious. now that ive royally screwed up my life i am no longer eligible for that title, in fact im scum to some people bc of what i did, but ive never felt freer in my entire life that i dont have to b perfect anymore.
God has been gently helping me the past year to stop believing the lie that I am not enough. The enemy has used that lie for my whole life…in fact I would say for generations in my family. Your post was very timely today. I am enough through Christ. We all are! .
Betty Wekker says
Thanks for the message. It’s taken years for me to understand its not what you do its enough that you have asked Jesus into your life and He is enough. I was sad before this popped up, I’m going to read wherever the Bible opens to and restart. God knows what we need and He provides it. I’m going to Rejoice and sing (poorly) to my God.
I hope that with this reminder that you have shared we can all try to quit being so hard on ourselves .
Sandy Renaud says
I woke up this morning feeling like a failure regarding something that happened yesterday. But now as I sit here in tears reading your beautiful devotional and wonderful reminder of who we are ‘in Christ’, I feel so blessed that He is in me and He is enough!!! “In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us”. Rms. 8:37. Thank you for sharing this.
“When we can’t, He can. When we don’t, He does. When we don’t measure up, He does.” <– This. Right here. Just this. Love your words here. Thank you so much for sharing this piece of your heart and his message. I don't know anyone who doesn't struggle with this comparison problem, the plague of envy, jealousy and competition. My heart beats fast when I think about walking into a room at Allume and wondering if I'll be wearing the wrong clothes or if I'll say the wrong thing. And then I remember who I'm meeting 🙂 So thankful for a community that celebrates how He makes us enough and encourages each other to be who He made us! Happy Thursday to you, Kristen.
Nicola Lee says
This is just what I needed to be reminded of. I spend all of my time trying to measure up to the world’s expectations and falling short and forget that I am exactly the way God wants me to be. Thanks
Michelle Prince Morgan says
Thank you, this morning as I sat in that deep dark pit of dispair you showed me I am enough. My Lord My Lord has given me everything I need. I may not measure up to their standards but it does not matter I am good enough for Christ. Thank you.
Cheryl Ricker says
Lord, thank you that you’re more than enough for me. You give me everything I need to live a life of joy and godliness. You are worthy of my trust and praise!!
Bosede Santos @myoil.org says
Thank you Kristen for this post this morning. Was a sure pick me up from the low place I was in yesterday. Going through such a stretching lately and the comparison game plays over in my mind every now and again and I get overwhelmed wondering whether I have what it takes to succeed. I know He’s my sufficiency and by Him, I can surely leap over walls and match through troops and will surely do valiantly. Thanks for this truly. Blessings to you.
Ruthie Lewis says
I love this, Kristen! This is something we all struggle with every day – Not being enough. Being able to determine where that perspective comes from is critical. We begin unknowingly very very early teaching our kids what makes them good or bad, smart or dumb, pretty or ugly. This is actually the bedrock of my Speaking; LET YOUR GLOW SHOW! because YOU ARE ENOUGH! Thank you for this much needed message! It’s amazing how God seems to be sending the same message to many as it came as confirmation in the middle of writing my own blog on the subject.
Author, Speaker, Life Coach
What a wonderful reminder. Thanks! I grew up being the “big mouth” in the family so imagine my amazement when the dentist said we need to use the smaller x-ray tapes because she has a small mouth. I said “what?” and he said again “you have a small mouth”. I asked if he could put that in writing. =)
Since then I have become to understand that no matter what “I am enough” for God and yet, He doesn’t want to leave me as I am, but perfect me each and everyday. Yeah!
I’m glad to know that I am not alone in my comparison dilemma. I have found thought, that the older I get the easier it is to accept myself the way I am. The way HE made me.
I needed this today. Thanks for these words…
THANK YOU YOUR INSIGHT I NEVER LOOKED AT IT THE WAY YOU DID GOD BLESS YOU
Maria @ Bloom says
I remember the first time I felt that: when a girl in my ballet class had a pool party and invited everyone except me. It broke my heart and made me wonder if it was because I did not have enough money like her. Luckily I had wonderful parents who always instilled that I am enough to God and to them. As I went into college peer pressure and society made me feel like I was not enough but it took a loving God in 2007 to show me that I am.
I am really battling this hard because I see my mom at 80 still trying to be “enough”.
I don’t want to waste any more energy!!!!
I like your post Kristen. Sometimes it’s just in the being honest that we find freedom and then we find out that so many others feel the same way and we’re not so alone and we were never alone anyway because of Jesus. I posted a similar thought on my once-in-a-while blog too. 🙂
Oops. I put in the wrong url for the blog. It’s theedgeofunderstanding.blogspot.com
I love this! I’m going to share this with my teenaged daughter. I remember feeling as an adolescent that I didn’t measure up–and I still sometimes feel that way–but it’s hard to see HER going through the same things now. Thanks for your encouragement!
Katie B says
Uh – thank you!! This is a huge struggle of mine. I had the opportunity this week to meet up with a wonderful friend I hadn’t seen in a while. What could have been such a blessed time did not turn out that way because of my comparing. I obviously didn’t let her know, but left feeling so defeated and like I did not measure up. Thank you for showing me I am not allow and bringing us back to the truth.
Beth Williams says
I too have struggled with being enough. Never even dated in high school, I was to shy. Like you I’m petite and can’t carry a tune. I’m not outgoing, and can’t play guitar like my older sisters can. Lately the evil one has been whispering to me “you’re not smart enough, good enough, don’t deserve this”. Unfortunately some days I listen to him and take it to heart.
One good thing I have learned is God is enough for me. He is all I need and will supply my needs.
“When we can’t, He can. When we don’t, He does. When we don’t measure up, He does. And this is enough for all of us.” – Loved these words and this post. God is enough for all of us. Amen.
Kristen, this whole idea of being enough has been a journey I’ve been on since about January or so. I recently wrote a blog that highlighted other blogs that address this topic as a guide for others who are struggling with the concept of enough. I wanted to show them that they are not alone! http://jamiesthots.com/2013/09/22/enough-im-not-alone-youre-not-alone/
Harry Larsen says
My wife mentioned this morning that her hands were ‘all wrinkly’, and should she buy some hand cream that professes to ‘make your skin smooth in two weeks’?
I told her that her hands didn’t matter to me…that I loved her VERY much and appreciated God’s gift to me.
Then, she said that her weight loss had been mostly in her legs…not where she wanted it to be. She said “I have skinny legs, now.”
To which I replied, “Honey, your legs are beautiful. That’s one of the first things I noticed about you on our first ‘going to church together’ date. I LOVE your legs. I brag about your legs. You’ve got the most beautiful legs in the world.”
Well, she smiled at that. I know she appreciates compliments from me. I hope her ‘enough’ bucket will last the rest of this day.
God bless you for writing this article.
A Happy Husband